Commish, I AM your back-up

I do Ka-Razy. I fuck a bitch up.

Bruce Lee Ping Pong Using Nunchucks

OK, so let's try doing it right for a change.....The Commish gently pointed out that when I tried to put up this video I screwed it up, so here we go trying again...

McLovin'

So, you think YOU got game ?!?

Bruce Lee defeats table tennis opponent using only nunchucks....
Almost as good as a diddle....
McLovin'

WTF Commish?

Randstain		40
Q-Spot		38
SkHank		33
D.Po		20
Timmy!		17
Syph		14
Brofro		9
Sock Puppy		5
Commish		1
McLovin		-1
Clemstain		-6
SeaScrote		-7
Snott		-11

Sure, I try to take a little me time down on the farm and leave the keys for the Commish to fill in. One day. One fucking day. He makes a total shit show of his first attempt to score the proceedings. A new low.  I'll take credit for dicking over McLovin- I diddled him one time too many last week. But I have no idea how Dumbshitsuke could totally hose the rest of the scores. Well, yes, I could. I occasionally let the Commish do things on his own, make him feel independent and such. And he never fails to screw it up. Unbelievable. He is a mess, people. I'm telling you. A mess.

Week 13 Results, Pardners

Steppin' in and steppin' up for DBung:

RandCornHole: 40
Q-spot: 37
skHank: 33 ( plays his way into PAC12 championship )
DPipe: 23
Rimmy!: 17 ( nice douche, Dabo )
Syph: 14
BroFro: 9
McLovin': 4
SockJizz: 4
Commissioner: 1 ( you're shitting me. No diddle? Really? )
ClemboSlice: -6 ( got another win, Clembo )
SeaScrote -7 ( squeaks by Iowa State )
Snott -11 ( season of shame )

Championship weekend coming up, my people.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

Gridiron Guru - Season 7 - Week 14

Fourteen Weeks in Sportsfans...Happy December !!
All games are on Saturday December 1, 2012
One point per game, sweep all 3 and get Five Big Ones
Picks must be in by the Noon game's kickoff to be eligible
( AP rankings used )


The Games of  Week Fourteen:

Noon     #12 Oklahoma  at  TCU  (on ESPN)

4 PM     #2 Alabama  at  #3  Georgia  (on CBS)

8 PM     #23 Texas  at  #7  Kansas State  (on ABC)


Run to Daylight,
McLovin'

Don Carlos Hyde.

Feed him.
He's got to eat.

No ream, no diddle.

No ream for McLovin', drops a point in the AP.
No love for TCU. We beat #15 Texas, in Austin, got nothin'.
Big weekends for skHank, Randouche.

Ryan Shazier, #10, Johnny Simon #54.

Go Bucks.

Men of the Scarlet and Gray, 12 - 0.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xkmlSJx_RlU

mouse over it, right click on go to..., play it. Be a better person for it.

Jimbsuke,
Commissioner for Life.

Hate Week Saturday

He's a little amped up.

http://i.imgur.com/jLQSg.gif  (Special footage of 2010 pregame festivities. Slide over it, make it blue and play.)

Hate Week, Friday

Hate

Earle Bruce became a Legend 

Ohio Stadium will rumble and rock

Johnny Simon will sack your whole universe

Zach Boren and the Bucks are on a mssion

It's Miller Time

We're coming for you, McLovin'.

Brother vs Brother

Hate Thursday

Ryan Fucking Shazier.

http://i.imgur.com/PWWHl.gif

http://i.imgur.com/RIRE8.gif

http://i.imgur.com/YNNNz.gif

Highlight, (make the line blue), Right click and select "go to..", Fuckimachimas.

HATE! Hating.

Hate-imus Michiganimus, fucker.

Post 1, Jim Otis going in for his fourth TD in a 54-something beatdown of scUM. Then the Bucks went for the two point conversion. Asked after the game why he went for two Woody Hayes replied, " Because they wouldn't let me go for three."

Post 2, Earl Bruce, fired that week as HC of the Bucks, sports the Fedora and Sunday Suit to the scUM-TOSU game and beats the Wolvagines in Ann Arbor.

Post 3, David Boston and Charles Woodson let their HATE boil over at the end of a Stanley Jackson scramble, 1997, Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

HAPPY THANKSGIVING BRFLers

Hope your family celebrations today prove to be less awkward than at the Petraeus household !!!

Happy Turkey Day to all.

McLovin'

Hate Week - Wolverinesday

Directions to Columbus: South until you smell it, East until you step in it.

Hate Week, Wednesday

 

Archie was 3-0-1 against scUM. He knew how to "eat".

They's Gonna Eat

Hate Week - Part Deux

"Ohio" comes from the Iroquois word for the place they dumped their sewage.

Thirteen Weeks for Thirteen Bitches

It's crunch time.

TCU @ (18) Texas. Last call for diddle in Austin, Jimbosuke.
Ohio Bobcats @ (25) Kent State. Ass-whip the Golden Flashes. If not for diddle then for pride, BroFro.
(20) Michigan @ (4) THE Ohio State University. Death or glory for the Men of the Scarlet and Gray.
(5) Oregon @ (16) Oregon State. Cock-stomping in Corvallis or Mighty Duck Resurrection? You make the call, DBung.
(6) Florida @ (10) Florida State. Week 13 BRFL intra-mural hate-fest. Chipn'Weenie v. RandMuff. Tough to pick a fave when I want you both to die screaming.
(11) Stanford @ (15) UCLA. It doesn't get any easier for skHank. Thank you, Jesus.
Virginia @ Virginia Tech. ClemboSlice, for you it's all about bowl eligibility. You have no idea what I'm talking about. That's probably good. Spare yourself the pain of knowing what's going on in Hokie-land.
(13) South Carolina @ (12) Clemson. Let's see you rimjob your way out of this one, Timmy! Uh-oh, Dabo.
West Virginia University @ Iowa State. I am SO taking Iowa State, Seannie Graham.
Kansas State with the bye. Q still wringing out the Perpetual Hankie. Life is cruel.
Wisconsin @ Penn State. Strap on the maxi-pad for a gang-tool in Beaver Stadium, Mr. Bielema.
Utah @ Colorado. Season of Damnation rolls on for SockPickleSmoocher.

Adios, Bitcheremos!

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GRIDIRON GURU SEASON SEVEN --- WEEK 13

GG-7 Week 13

All Games are on Saturday November 24, 2012
Same Rules, Same Deadline of Kick off of game one to vote
Used AP rankings

Noon    #20 Michigan  at   #4 Ohio State  (on abc)
Battle of the Brothers

3:30 pm    #22 Oklahoma State  at  #14  Oklahoma  (on ESPN)
 Sooner State Standoff

6:30 pm    #11 Stanford  at  #15 UCLA  (on Fox)
California Contest


Happy Thanksgiving to All,
and to All a Good Bite

McLovin'
  

GG-Season 7 Week 12 Results

Go to the Week 12 GG Original Post and Scroll Down for Current Results and Standings


McLovin'

GG-Season & Week 12 Results Coming Soon

Welcome to Hate Michigan Week, Bitchenhausen.

The most wonderful week of the year is here, Bitcheros!

Hate Michigan Week! Extra special this year since McLovin' done  hitched his little red retard wagon to scUM.

Isn't this fun? I'm certainly having fun.

Sure, TCU is in the douche-hamper and has been for months. My wallet is getting thinner by the week.

But TOSU, the MEN OF THE SCARLET AND GRAY are undefeated. Having just vanquished the second most hateful team in the Big Ten, the Wisconsin Vagers. In OT no less. Anybody see that game?

Anybody (besides me) throw up three or four times listening to Matt Millen and some other butthole say, "Montee Ball, going for the record, previously held by Alfred E. Neumann of Miami of Ohio, for most touchdowns in an NCAA career. Can he do it? There's Montee's Mom and her family of 38 in the stands. Jesus Christ is she one fat pig or what? God. Hard to believe a honed athlete like Montee issued from those hams, but, WTF, he's going for the record. Can he do  it? Without fumbling @ the goal line from another Ryan Fucking Shazier super sonic asshole inverting mega-hit?".

Guess not. Don't worry, fat Montee's mom. He'll still get to play for the Big Ten championship. Like that means anything this year.

Oh, wait. There's still the Michigan game. Whoa. Is Denard okay? Does he want to "eat" again this year?
Come to Columbus, Dentard. We have lots of nice things for you to eat there. Like Johnny Simon's foot, after you pull it out of your ass.

Have a nice night, Bras!

Best wishes,

Jimbosuke

BRFL Mother Fucking Week 12

I have underplayed my BRFL season. I need a hug. And a kiss on the mouth.

SkHank is one smart mother fucker. He acts like he doesn't know dick about the college game then pulls a pick like Stanford out of his boney ass. He scouted those mother fuckers like a man who means business. Saw they can tackle in the open field. Saw they got mother fucking 6' 6", 300 pound linemen who can sprint faster than a mother fucking sprinter. He also knows how to ruin my mother fucking season. Oh, he knows dick alright. He knows dick.

The AP voters don't know dick. Randvag beats Jacksonville State (Jacksonville State!) and gains 3 points; Clemson wins and drops, sure to bring about more 3rd person ranting from Dabo!

Q takes one for the team with Kansas State going down like a sorority girl drunk on some of my Purple Drank. Brofro's Ohio Bobcats fall. Again. Seems like only a few weeks ago McLovin' couldn't wait to unzip himself when lavishing praise on the Bobcats. Now McJizzinpants waits patiently for his McReam next week at the hands of the ultimate mother fucker, Urban Meyer.

Until then, fuck you, mother fucking mother fuckers.

Randstain		37
Q-Spot		36
SkHank		28
D.Po		20
Timmy!		20
Syph		17
Brofro		9
McLovin		5
Sock Puppy		4
Commish		0
Clemstain		-7
SeaScrote		-8
Snott		-11

A Dozen Weeks of this Bitchery

Hi.
I could give a fuck what happens this weekend.
My team, broken, beat down to shit and gone, injuries all the way to the three deep bone, has a bye.
Next week we play Texas, I think. They'll probably douche all over themselves this week so beating them won't matter because they won't be ranked. Woe. Pain. Suffering in the extreme. You all, all of you, suck.

(10) Florida State @ Maryland. Enjoy the ritual sacrifice, Chipn'Sore
Iowa @ (23) Michigan. Wait. Will somebody tell me who the assholes are that keep ranking Michigan? Everyone knows the Big Ten sucks this year, yet every time Michigan wins a game ( IN THE BIG 10) it's "OOOOh, Go BLUE!" Let's get McLovin" another Diddle. You deserve to lose to Iowa, Mike.
NC State @ (11) Clemson. No hesitation here. I hope you get your ass kicked in so far by the Wolf Pack that you have to stand on your head facing away from the toilet to urinate. Timmy. Suck, suck and suck again.
(6) The Ohio State University @ Wisconsin. Make no mistake, BRFLtards. Wisconsin is a team full of total dicks. Their coach is the biggest asshole in the Midwest. But this is 2012, the year God damned me to  hell and turned his fucking back on me, Big Time and Wisconsin is so hard to beat at  home that I am on the throne 5 or 6 times a day, cramping up and expelling things that I can't even begin to talk about because I know that Wisconsin is going to win this game and shit all over the Bucks perfect season. Hating.
(13) Oklahoma @ West Virginia. Eat SHIT, Bob Stoops. Good luck, Seannie Graham.
(2) Kansas State @ Baylor. Jesus of Nazareth could suit up for Baylor and they will still die like dogs. Kansas State is in a supernatural zone of nut-punching grace. They win. You're rich, Q.
Virginia Tech @ Boston College. ClemboSlice, I am so, so sorry. I don't blame you for wishing I had small pox.
TCU with the bye week. See above, MegaDouches.
(14) Stanford @ (1) Oregon. Mr. Clueless vs. Mr. RimProbe. Purely from a financial standpoint, got to see the DPist lose. Go Cardinal.
Arizona @ Utah. I think of you like fellow passengers on the Titanic must have thought about each other, ScumPuppet. I guess. Wasn't there.
Jacksonville State @ (7) Florida. Jacksonville State, Randingle? Wow. What a nail biter this one will be.
Ohio Bobcats @ Ball State in Muncie, Indiana. Going on right now. This is interesting. BroFro, you need to crush these guys hard. Go for two every time. On sides kicks. The works. Because next week you play Kent State, a ranked team. Knock those student-shooting,  national guard psycho shit bags off and you could end up ranked and in clover, my brother. BRFL speaking.

Best regards,

Jimbosuke

Future Lingerie Football Player

BRFL Results Week 11

Current Standings		Pts
Q-Spot		41
Randstain		34
D.Po		24
SkHank		23
Timmy!		20
Syph		15
Brofro		9
Sock Puppy		4
Commish		0
McLovin		0
SeaScrote		-8
Clemstain		-8
Snott		-11

Mikey gets the diddle and picks up 8 points. Now sits at 0 points. Sucking has never felt so good.

Q continues to stick it to the boys. She has $390 coming her way if it all plays out.

Scott is on the bottom looking up a the rest of the league. He's out $286. That's a lot of sucking.

GRIDIRON GURU - Season 7 - Week TWELVE

Week TWELVE GGers, and Q enters it with the lead, just like The BRFL

All games this week are on Saturday November 17, 2012
(Using AP rankings as the numbers shown)
Each game is a point, sweep all three and get 5 points.
Picks must be in by the Noon kick off for eligibility.

Noon  -  Northwestern  at  Michigan State  (on ESPN 2)

3:05 PM  -  #21 USC  at  #17 UCLA  (on Fox)

7 PM  -  #13 Oklahoma  at  West Virginia  (on Fox)


Good Luck Potential Sweepers,
TSP  

McLovin' Gets a Diddle

OT Win without Denard brings a smile to The Steaming Pile !!

Bama Goes Down

Because....all birds must DIE!

Check the carnage. I only shot one woodcock, both hen pheasants and 3 out of 4 ringnecks. But still. A nice bag. Brent Nicklas shot the rest, including a grouse. He has a really good dog, Briar. Great time of year for bird hunting, Lads. Ears are still ringing, Bras. Teeba, you would have had serious wood on this epic.
Serious. Wood.

ClemboSlice. Damn it.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2012/11/08/sports/ncaafootball/ap-fbc-t25-florida-st-virginia-tech.html?ref=ncaafootball&_r=0

I'd rank you. I'd give you a diddle after that performance, CSlice.
MIssed opportunities. Turnovers. Me spare you the cliches.
Chips n' Syph, Fl. State is really good. It pains me to say that.

Jimbosuke,
Full Service Commissioner for Life

Les Miles. An LSU fan rants.

http://www.rollbamaroll.com/2012/11/6/3607024/its-meltdown-time-week-lsu

Week 11 Preview, Bitchistanians.

And an extra hard, really hard, ass slap to each a you, Bitches. Slappity-slappity SLAP.

(8) Florida State @ Virginia Tech. ClemboSlice, Earth to ClemboSlice. This is your absolute last chance. Va Tech is tough in Blacksburg, on Thursday night, on ESPN. It's balls to the wall time, Clembo. Did I mention that? Plus, you're going against Chipn'Sniff. Do some damage, Clem.

Louisianna Lafayette @ (7) Florida. Randude cruises over Bayou 'tards. World suspects you suck, Rimdy.

(13) Oregon State @ (16) Stanford. Uh-oh, skHank. Beavs are settin' up to get busy chewing you a new asshole. Your butt's gonna' leave a skid mark 6 feet wide. We'd all love to see that. Rapture is what I describe.

Maryland @ (10) Clemson. Unless the Tigers get totally freaked out by Maryland's epic ugly unis this is an easy win for Rimmy!. Moves you one step closer to the biggest asshole I  know on planet earth, Rimbo.

(3) Kansas State @ TCU. Optimus Klein, aka Collin the Kansas Concussion Monkey, squares off against a bunch of beat to shit Toads held together by duct tape and crazy glue. I love me some college football!

Wisconsin @ Indiana. The annual contest for Sacagaweha's dildo. Who cares? Winner goes to the Big10 championship game, as ScoScreech points out. Shameful and pitiful and embarrassing, all at once..

Northwestern  @ Michigan. Notice the total lack of rankings when we talk about Big10 teams? Chicago-based eggheads vs ego-inflated Ann Arbor fancy lads. Dumb and Dumber.

Utah @ Washington. UW leading receiver suspended for drugs, alcohol and too much poon. Chuck, they could suspend the whole first team and Washington would still mop the floor with U. Roll, Huskies. Guess this means you'll be bitching about GG again this week? Sack up, Homes.

Oregon gets a bye as DPo fights bestiality charges in Otsego County Court. I agree with you, Drew. Calves are people. Just look into their eyes. You did NOTHING wrong.

West Virginia @ Oklahoma State. "Come after ME! I'm a MAN! I"m Forty! I'm goin' kick Seannie's ass all over Stillwater,Oklahoma!"

Bowling Green @ Ohio U. BroFro, BroFro. Miami of Ohio?! WTF, Homeskittle? So close. Fuck Frank Stollich. Hard. Go in dry, Brother.

Best regards,
Jimbosuke

BRFL Results- Week 10

SeaDouche gets the ream.

Current Standings		Pts
Q-Spot		38
Randstain		32
D.Po		21
Timmy!		20
SkHank		19
Syph		16
Brofro		9
Sock Puppy		4
Commish		0
SeaScrote		-8
Clemstain		-8
McLovin		-8
Snott		-12

Top 3

$371	$293	$150
Q-Spot	Randstain	D.Po

Next 3

$137	$124	$85
Timmy!	SkHank	Syph

Next Next 3

$(6)	$(71)	$(123)
Brofro	Sock Puppy	Commish

Them Who Sucketh

$(227)	$(227)	$(227)	$(279)
SeaScrote	Clemstain	McLovin	Snott

GRIDIRON GURU-SEASON SEVEN-WEEK ELEVEN

GG-7
Week 11
All games are on Saturday November 10, 2012
One point each game, all three right sweeps for five points
To be counted, pick by the 3:30 kick off of the first games

3:30 PM    #15 Texas A&M  at  #1 Alabama  (on CBS)

3:30 PM    West Virgina  at  Oklahoma State  (on ABC & ESPN2)

7 PM       #3 Kansas State  at  TCU  (on Fox)

Hey, The GG Results and Standings Are Published

SCROLL DOWN UNDER THE GG WEEK 10 HEADING

Saturday Live Bitchfeed

14:09 and the Gators are tied 7 apiece with Missouri. Pucker factor, Randoucher?

14:10 Stanford just underway with lowly Colorado. 0-0.

14:31 end o' the third. Tigers knocking on the door @ the Florida 27, tied 7 all.
         The Cardinal up 7-0 on the Bison.

14:32 INTERCEPTION. Florida takes it away, 42 yard return and they set up shop in Mizzu territory.

14:38 Driskell bombs it to Gillislee 45 yards for the TD. 14-7 Gators. Randog, breathe. Breathe.

14:49 Bullard with the huge ten yard sack on third down. Mizzou punts it away. 9:45 in the 4th.
          Stanford 14-0 on Colorado. I smell beat down.

14:55 Florida punts from their 5. Mizzu takes over on the Gator 42. 7:21 in the 4th.

15:05 Franklin tosses another INT. Looks like Florida is going to take this one home.

15:13 Phillips misses the FG from the Mizzu 7. What a DOUCHEBAG. Mizzu will get on more chance with       1:53 remaining and two time outs. 93 yards to go to OT.

15:20 54 seconds and Mizzu is on the Fla 32 yard line.

15:22 Franklin: Pick Machine. Another Fla. INT. This one's over. Randoogle survives.
          Stanford 28, Colorado 0. A snoozer.
          Michigan whupping up on Minnesota. Little Brown Jug heading to Ann Arbor.

I'm out, Bitches.

PS: 19:18 PM:  Ahoy, Bitches Bitches! TCU 39, fucking WVU Retards 38. I smell REAM, Seannie Graham! Hallelujah. Maybe my season ain't over. Texas over Texas Tech. McLovin' the Genius. A yard of cock and a pail full of balls, to quote Mike Gifford. Kudos to you, Chuck Norris. Ain't this league somethin'?!

Citizens of Bitchopolis, Hear Me.

Week 10, Men.

Missouri @ (8) Florida: ZuckDoodle soils himself (majorly) last week and barely registers an AP wound.
What gives? RDouche "servicing" AP voters? 10 dollah sucky?  Mizzu the team the ZyphSore cut his teeth on. "W".
(15) Stanford @ Colorado. SkHank numbah 10. 5 dollah sucky-fucky. Cardinal cruises over prairie oysters.
TCU @ (23) West Virginia. SeaScrote, I'm hating. Where's the justice? Where's the dignity? SHIT.
(10) Clemson @ Duke. Duke does't lay down. Some Dabo-Wabo sauce will fix that. Rimmy! rock on.
(2) Oregon @ (18) USC. Hmmm. Awesome offensive juggernaut vs. Kiffin-crippled Barkley JockLickers.  Still, Trojans have Marquis Lee, or whatever his name is. Can the Troymen get their shit together for the signature win of the FartSniffinKiffin era? D Po says no.
Oklahoma State @ (3) Kansas State. Okie State's no pushover. Q lays down an extra blast of CosmicVaginyte Rays and sends them home cryin' in the tumbleweeds.
Michigan @ Minnesota. A tilt between nobodies with the Little Brown Jug at stake. Only McLovin' cares one tiny turd about this game. McLovin' and ... Chuck Norris.
Washington State University @ Utah. Loss, ChuckMeHard. Your season on life support nears an end.
Wisconsin, idle.. Thank GOD, ScoDunk.
Florida State U idle. Chipn'Sniff not paying attention? Don't believe it, Sinners.
Virginia Tech @ Miami (FL). ClemboSlice, is it too late? Never, Dude. Play old fashioned Beamer ball. Give the Hurricanes a mighty old Virginia thrashin'. You play in the ACC. It's never. Too. Late.
Eastern Michigan @ Ohio University. How the fuck did you lose to Miami of Ohio, BroFro? It was all right there, in the palm of your hand. Undefeated. BCS buster talk. Glory. And riches. Don't forget the riches.  Now, no-name games against the likes of Eastern Michigan. Pukazoid.

That's it. I'm gettin' my couch on.

Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life