GG Week Five Games

FRIDAY NIGHT GAME, 10/2.

 Penn State at Northwestern, Evanston, Illinois, 8 PM FOX

SATURDAY GAMES, 10/3.

#7 Alabama at #16 Mississippi, Starkville, Mississippi, Noon, ABC

Navy at Air Force, USAF Academy Colorado, Noon, ABC

Roll the bones yo. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Four Results

 

A busy weekend. Two Sweepers.

Texas 20 at Tennessee 17. This one was a banger. Colin Simmons with 5 sacks on the Tennessee QB and his usual handful of unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. Stay classy, Collin. There was also this kind of odd touchdown celebration. It's a Texas thing, I guess.

Iowa 20 at Michigan 17. I've been pretty tough on Kurt Ferentz over the years, but this was a masterful comeback, including this epic toss with the last two seconds ticking off. Q and DogTheBountyHunter set up their sweep.

Oregon 41 at USC 27. Dante Moore is carted off after surviving a cheap-ass assasination attempt plus an on-field riot, and then this fucker (above), Dylan Raiola, and a riled up Oregon squad, beat the living shit out of the Troymen in Los Angeles. Defense is still not a "thing" for the Trojans. 

Scores:

Q: SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. The top spot. Q is lovin' her some Iowa. 

ChibaChews: 1  to get 8. Frustration setting in.

DTBH: SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. I object to this whole 'Iowa' thing.

Lola: 1 to make 5. Not exactly burnin' it up.

Ronde': 1 to get a total of 4. Good Lord.

DPo: 1 for 9 total.

Sock: Got 2. Total 5. Just, well, kinda' bad.

SpecialK: GUTTERBALL. 0 for a total of 5. Does not care one bit. SpecialEd has Florida.

$$uke: 2 to make 9. Intensely disappointing weekend.

Psycho: 1 for a total of 6. Didn't you suck at this last year, too?

Teebs: 2. Add to 5 for 7.

McLovin: 2. Samesies. 7.

BigDom: 1 for a total of 6. Kind of sucking.

BreauxFreaux. 2 to make 10 and, as I've said before, watch out for this douche. 

Until next week,

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Four

All Saturday games:

#1 Texas Longhorns at #14 Tennessee Vols, Neyland Stadium, noon, abc.

#17 Iowa at #18 Michigan, Michigan Stadium, 3:30, CBS.

#20 Oregon Ducks at #12 USC Trojans, L.A. Memorial Coliseum, 7:30, NBC.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Three Results

 

Texas Tech 28, Houston 26. A barn-burner in Lubbock. Houston comes within a hair of taking it to OT on the 2 point conversion attempt. Alas, no. Stoned at the 1 millimeter line. A lot of soiled football pants for Tech. Hankies and sponges for the Houston Cougars. Both teams looked good but now TTech owns the head to head. 

Louisville 41, SMU 31. This was a humdinger in Louisville, KY. Both squads ripped off filthy long runs from scrimmage; Kendrick Rafael for the Ponies and Keyjuan Brown (above) and Isaac Brown for the Cards. Lincoln Keinholz balls out (again) and you wonder if maybe Ohio State let one get away. Kevin Jennings returns to turn-over machine mode with two INTs and a fumble just before crossing the plane. 

Ole Miss 32, LSU 24. Ole Miss rolls out the Welcome Mat for Lane Kiffin, and the Rebs dump the Bayou Bengals in Oxford. Haven't seen the game. A lot of drama. Rebs thanking God for that Trinidad Chambliss 10th year of eligibility ruling. At 24 yrs old, he's just getting started. SEC is a dog-fight from here on out. 

Scores.

Q: GUTTERBALL. How brief the glory. 7.

Chiba: 1 to make 7.

DogTBH: 2 to reach 7. 

Lola: 2 and 2 is 4 total.

Ronde': 2 to make 3. Floundering.

DPo: picks up 2 to go to 8.

SockPuppet: 2 to make 3. Just, you know, not a great start.

SpecialK: 1 to make 5. Barely notices due to 24 hour erection after watching the Florida game.

$$uke: SWEEP! 5 to make 7 and this fucker is right back in it. 

Psycho: 2 adds to his 3 for total 5.

Teebs: 2 to make 5.

McLovin: 2 to equal 5 total.

Big Dom: 2 to join the SausageFest at 5.

Breaux Freaux: 2 to tie for first with 8.

We're movin' on.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Week 2 Results

 

"Do I cut the red wire? The green?"

Well, that week Sure didn't work out so great. 

Oklahoma 10, Michigan 17 in Ann Arbor. Hail to the Victors yo. The problem with a sample size of one is that it doesn't really tell you anything. Oklahoma beats up on some tomato can Week One (in this case UTEP) and they're instantly play-off material. Michigan wins ugly against a surprisingly good Western Michigan team and they suck. Until they don't. Not one of us picked Michigan, at home, over the Sooners. We are all so, so stupid. 

Cal Berkely 21, Syracuse 18 in the Dome. Paul Angeli, the Orange QB, throws for 307 yards. Not bad, you say. Except that it took him 50 throws to do it, including three interceptions to the same fucking guy, one of which was returned for 6. 
The struggle is real. 

Ohio State 23, Texas 24 in Memorial Stadium. Six of you picked Texas. Blessedly, I was asleep for the whole thing. It took until Wednesday for me to find the guts to watch it. It was not a positive experience. The only good thing about it was that I accidentally recorded it with a couple of Mexicans calling the game instead of Herbie and Fowler. That part was funny. 

Scores:

Q: 2 to make 7 total.

Chiba: 1 to make 6.

DTBH: GUTTERBALL. Total 5.

Lola : GUTTERBALL. Total 2. Not great.

Ronde': 0. GUTTERBALL! Total is 2. Sad. 

DPo: 1 to total out at 6.

Sock: GUTTERBALL. Total 2. "Billy", what's your deal?

Special K: 2. Adds up to 4.

$$uke: GUTTERBALL. Total 2. No bueno. 

Psycho: 1. Has 3 total.

Teebs: 2 to make 3.

McLovin: 1 to  make 3.

Big Dom: 1 to make 3. Unusually bad.

BreauxFreaux: 1 to make 6. Big fucking deal. 

Onward.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Three Games

FRIDAY NIGHT:

#22 Houston Cougars at #13 Texas Tech Raiders, interstate hate, Q vs Psycho, 8 PM, FOX. 

SATURDAY:

#16 Southern Methodist U (SMU) Mustangs at #23 Louisville Cardinals, CJK5H, 3:30 ESPN2.

#7 LSU Tigers at #8 Ole Miss Rebs, regrettably, a full length movie about Lane Kiffin, 7:30, abc.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Results, Week One

Charlie Cardinal doesn't give a fuck. 

Apropos of nothing but here's an Instagram clip from some guy in his basement, smoking meth out of a six foot bong, and watching the Indiana game. (Sign in to X to hear the audio. It's worth it.)

Okay, that's not really Charlie Cardinal (above), the Louisville Mascot, but it's close. And, apparently, Lincoln Keinholz had some kind of gash behind his ear, in the second half, that was leaking blood down his jaw. So he's a hemophiliac quarterback too, I guess.

This was, I presume, the REAL Lincoln Keinholz, who went off like a cruise missile to Moscow in the last two quarters against Ole Miss Sunday night. Not deep-fake Lincoln Keinholz, who kind of played like he'd never thrown a football before, in the first two stanzas. 

Louisville 38, Ole Miss 41 in Nashville. A real sweep maker for a few of you sons-of-bitches. 

Which brings us to ... what the fuck, Cal? All I've been hearing is how Cal is really coming on. As a program. In a good way. Not in a punching bag way. Which is what they were, at home,  for the UCLA Bruins, on Saturday night. I guess there's something going on at UCLA, too. Or am I just a dumb-ass who sucks at GG?

UCLA 45, Cal 24. Bitterly disappointed in Berkeley.

Let's put this week's Pig to bed with the truck-drag in Baton Rouge. Lane Kiffin is a fucking jerk. This we know. But, Dabo, Dabo, DABO. I'm shakin' my head. There are a lot of reasons that Clemson stinks like dog poop right now; Brett Venables is at Oklahoma. Paying college players to play for your team is now okay. Dabo refuses to go all-in on the Portal  and can't match the NIL money that others offer. Whatever. Just, ya' know, Dabo is looking like he's toast after this season. If he makes it through this season. Clemson still has to play Miami, Virginia Tech and the South Carolina Gamecocks. Ow.

Clemson 10, LSU 51. I don't know what drugs Lane Kiffin is taking but they're working. For now. 

Scores: 

Q: SWEEP! 5

ChibaChews: SWEEP! 5

DogTheBountyHunter: SWEEP! 5

Lola: 2

Ronde': 1

DPo: SWEEP! 5

SockPuppet: 2

Special K: 2

$$uke: 2

Psycho: 2

Teeblations: 2

McLovin: 2

Big Dom: 2

BroFro: SWEEP! 5.

That'll do it for Week 1. 5 SWEEPERS out front. 

GG Week Two Games

All Saturday games:

#11 Oklahoma at unranked Michigan Wolverines, in Ann Arbor, Noon, FOX.

Cal Golden Bears at Syracuse, in the Dome, 3:30, ACCNetwork.

#1 Ohio State at #4 Texas Longhorns, Memorial Stadium in Austin, Texas, 7:30, abc.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

GG Week One

Get out the way, here come that Gridiron Guru thang.

GG Week One:

Saturday night. 7:30 unranked Clemson Tigers at #11 LSU Tigers. abc. In Baton Rouge.

Saturday night. 10:30. UCLA Bruins at Cal Golden Bears. ESPN. Berkeley, California.

Sunday night. 7:30. #24 Louisville Cardinals at #9 Ole Miss Rebels. abc. Nashville, Tennessee. 

1 for each win, 5 for the sweep. 

Roll the bones, People. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Season Nineteen Opener

 And we're underway!

Games start next Saturday, August 29th. Yes, thanks to a hyper-motivated BRFL membership we are way ahead of schedule. 

Looking back at the picks, I don't see one that is purely ass. It's unfortunate that, again this year, $$uke's pick seems like maybe the most shaky of them all. This causes me pain. 

We also have three contestants who, if their teams catch fire and win playoff games, could lead to The League conducting its first test drive of The Multiplier. 

You've forgotten what that is. 

In a nutshell, an unranked team that makes the playoff and wins games gets a shit-ton of points. 

Also, betting the ranch and losing is slightly less catastrophic than when $$uke did it, and tanked his season, last year. Check your rule books, that you didn't print out when I sent them to you, for details.

Let's roll. 

Comrade Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Season Nineteen Draft

 Draft Days are here.

Draft order 2026:

1. $$uke: AP #14 USC Trojans

2. Timmy! AP #18 Penn State Nittany Lions. 

3. Psycho: AP #12 Texas Tech Red Raiders. 

4. DogTheBountyHunter: AP #14 BYU Cougars. 

5. SpecialK (formerly KBronie):UNRANKED Florida Gators. Starts at plus 3. Homer.

6. ChibaChews: AP #7 Miami Hurricanes. Starts at minus 4. 

7. DPo: AP #19 SMU Mustangs. CJK5H. 

8. Ronde': UNRANKED Boise State Broncos. Starts at plus 3. 

9. McLovin: AP #21 Utah Utes.

10. BreauxFreaux: UNRANKED Navy Midshipmen. Starts at plus 3. Service Academy gambit.

11. Lola: AP #11 LSU Tigers. Pick sent from the Swiss Alps, which is a new one. 

12. SockPuppet: UNRANKED Clemson Tigers. Start at +3. 

13. Big Dom: AP #4 Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Starts at minus 7. Thoughts, Teebs?

14. Q: AP #23 Houston Cougars. Cougars last year, Cougars this year. Defending the Title.

So let it be written.

So let it be done. 

Comrade Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Draft Days

 It's happening. 

Focus on your breathing. 

Breathe deeply. Slowly. 

Imagine a peaceful meadow. Wrens and songbirds. Butterflies. Daffodils. 

And then imagine picking your team for BRFL 2026, Season Nineteen. 

Here are some comforting thoughts for you, Gambler. 

You haven't done really any research on college football Div 1 teams but that's okay because it probably wouldn't have helped. Of what value is research in the NIL/portal/seven year eligibility era? 

Not much.

A team's schedule may look easy but is it? Teams that you think suck (because they have traditionally sucked) might be this year's Indiana. So like fuck the schedule. It is an illusion. 

Was this team's pass rush fearsome last year? Those guys are probably gone. And they've been replaced with portal guys you never heard of, from Kennesaw State and Troy. Are they good? Well, yeah. At Kennesaw State they were awesome.

This team's coach got fired and the new coach has never been a head coach, but still. The team is loaded. The QB is a stud. Everybody says the new coach has his act together but ... does he really?

This is the kind of daunting bullshit that we, as BRFLers, face in the modern era. 

Nobody in their right mind follows recruiting anymore but it's still kind of cute watching a teenager put a hat on while his mom pees her pants over that NIL payday. Everybody knows that hat is likely to change two or three or five times over the next few years but it makes for good social media. 

If you are all-in on a new coach are you sure he will make it through the whole season? 

No DUI? No sex scandal? No high-profile dismissal for sucking so badly that the program is willing to throw a bag at him just to stop coaching the team? 

Shit happens. 

And the Stars. Those players banking a huge roll at 19 years old. They're also (probably) rolling up Baby-moms and fat splifs and tricked out, lifted F-150s with blacked out windows and bull-bars so that, when they butt-chug ten shots of tequila and take a wrong turn, into a severe autism/polio camp playground, they're sure to do as much damage as possible. Two  game suspension? Three?

So you can hear what I'm saying. Research? You're kidding yourself. It's a crap shoot. That's why it's called gambling. That's why it can be a problem. Because of your infinite capacity for self-delusion and misplaced confidence. 

You're nothing. You're nobody. You're probably going to get reamed again and again and finish dead last (like I just did) and that's okay. It's just a silly game. It's only money. 

The AP Poll comes out tomorrow at noon. Be talking to you. 

Comrade Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Seven Win Steve

 The Agony of Steve Sarkisian. 

Once upon a time there was a boy named Steve Sarkisian.

He grew up around Torrance, California and he was a darn good baseball and football player. He bumped around playing USC and JUCO baseball (USC, JUCO - samesies) until someone convinced him to play JUCO football at El Camino Jr College, where he showed real promise and eventually transferred to BYU. He had a brief but outstanding career there in the mid-1990s. BYU won the WAC. He was offensive player of the year in 1996. Did a couple years in the CFL as the QB for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders. 

Then came coaching. 

Sark has been around. I won't say 'journeyman' but I'm thinking it.

First up, back to El Camino as the QB coach. Then a brief stint at USC (QBs) and then the NFL. OC for the Oakland Raiders  and then, after a winless PAC-12 campaign in 2007, the University of Washington named him the new head man. 

There were problems at UW. He couldn't win more than seven games a season (hence "Seven Win Steve") aaaaannnnnd he started drinkin'. There are stories about Steve showing up at practice with a few drinks under his belt. Stories about Steve being liquored up on the sidelines during games. 

Not judging. A lot of pressure. 

I've been known to drink too much, just like Steve. 

By the way, Steve-o is wound pretty tight. And, oh yeah, he doesn't like being touched. 

Got married. Had kids. Got divorced. Moved on to a stint as Head Coach at USC in 2013 and that's when the wheels came off. 

At the annual big donor event at USC (the 'Salute to Troy') Coach Sark got so fuckig cocked that he couldn't finish his closing speech. Not that he didn't try. Dropping F-bombs and slurring and just generally cussing and throwing the deuces and being 'the hammered guy' at this big, crucial fundraiser. In between he worked the crowd, slurping up cocktails and tellin' dildo jokes (of course). 

The boosters were not happy. Pat Haden, notorious douche and USC Athletic Director at the time,  pinned a 'zero tolerance' policy on Steve-o. As in, "no more getting blotto on company time or you're done." 

Which I guess went okay. Until Steve showed up at practice completely lit and got sent home by the assistant coaches. Apparently not the first time he came to practice with a bag on. But it was the last time, 'cause Pat Haden put him on indefinite leave of absence and then fired him a few days later. 

Oh well. Shit happens. Rehab, or whatever, was next and then Nick Saban picked him up as an 'analyst' (because that's what Nick Saban did back then) in 2016. 

Back to the pros (Atlanta) the next year. 

Back to Alabama as the QBs coach the year after that. 

Got married again.

This is Steve's second wife. Warning: some people may find these pictures disturbing. 

Hey, I'd drink too.

And then  ... and then. 

The University of Texas at Austin came a knockin' in 2021.

I guess he wanted to put the whole rehab/sobriety thing to the test because, if USC and the University of Washington turned him into a gin-soaked, cussin' dildo-joker,  imagine what the pressure at Texas could do. If it wasn't for rehab that is. 

Texas? Those god damn people are crazy. Football is religion down there. They make Alabama look like dabblers. 

Steve-o to the rescue. 

2021: 5 wins, 7 L's 

2022: 8 and 5

2023: 12 - 2, won the Big 12 (yes, Texas was still in the Big 12 then).

2024:  13 - 3, but you're in the SEC now so fuck you, you lost 3 games.

2025: 10 - 3, fuck you again.

Translation: Sark hasn't exactly set the Lone Star State on fire. 

And now there's this year's schedule.

vs Texas State (probably a top 5 offense, again)

vs Ohio State

vs UTSanAntonio

@ Tennessee (uh-oh)

@ Oklahoma (um...)

vs Florida

vs Ole Miss (caution flag) 

vs Missippi State

@ Missouri

@ LSU (oh my god)

vs Arkansas

@ Texas A&M

So, basically, Steve-o delivers the goods to the burnt orange alumni fanbase this year or he leaves Texas "to explore new opportunites". Like NFL opportunities. 

The mountain is high, Amigos.

31 days.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Diego the Homeless

 Well, that didn't take long.

The Baltimore Ravens have waived rookie QB Diego Pavia. 

Yes, the Ravens have cut the ex-Vandy signal caller and 2025 Heisman runner-up. The fact that he was apparently let go to make room for a free agent center, Ethan Pocic, has got to hurt those in the Pavia camp. DogTheBountyHunter knows the value of the Center position, as should we all. So, no big deal is what I'm thinking and, uncharacteristically, the Ravens have done the right thing. 

 Whither now, Don Diego?

The Pavester has already considered this eventuality and referenced, specifically, this particular case:

Can you say "Cole Hutson"?

Hook 'em

Mr. Hutson, a four year veteran University of Texas offensive lineman, went undrafted this April.

He then participated in Cleveland Browns and Dallas Cowboys NFL rookie camps. 

Still no takers.

Now he has secured a favorable ruling from a judge in Travis County, Texas (which is where the University of Texas is located) challenging the NCAA's new eligibility rules, under which Cole Hutson would not be eligible to play any more college ball. This judge has granted Cole a 'temporary restraining order' (from the NCAA rules) and could pave the way for a fifth year of eligibility. He is now free to practice with UTexas who, understandably, would love to have him back for the season. 

A hearing to possibly grant Cole Hutson an injunction that would give him that fifth year is scheduled for August 3.

Is there any doubt that Mr. Pavia has dusted off his "seventh year of eligibility" playbook?

Oh. Hell yeah.

35 days.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Diego Pavia: Fraud or Fabulous?

 Don Diego.

Diego Pavia is 5'10". He's an American, not a Mexican. He's from Albuquerque, NM. He's a 24 yr old undrafted free agent QB for the Baltimore Ravens (a lot like Craig James was an undrafted free agent). 

CJK5H.

Diego sued the NCAA over the NCAA's counting of JUCO years against Div I eligibility, saying it violated federal antitrust law, etc. He won. He got a sixth season in 2025.

He considered suing the NCAA for a seventh year of eligibility until he was signed by the Ravens at a significant pay cut from what he was getting from Vanderbilt. 

He got his start at the New Mexico Military Institute, a Junior College modeled after a Mexican super-max prison.

 

Hagerman Barracks, NMMI

He played 2 years at NMMI. He led the Broncos to the National Junior college championship against Iowa Western. New Mexico State U HC, Jerry Kill, and Tim Beck (a QB coach at NMState) were down to wherever they play the NJCChampionsip game recruiting a guy named Nate Glantz, the Iowa Western QB. They were, legend has it, watching the game on a TV, in a local Hooters restaurant and titty bar, when Pavia lit up Iowa Western for a 31 - 13 drubbing and a JUCO national championship. At which point Kill and Beck dumped Gantz and recruited Pavia to NMState U, in Div I, where he played the next two years before tranferring to Vanderbilt and the SEC. He made a pretty big splash there. For two more years. Impressive stats. Upsets. Highlight reels. Heisman finalist. Finished, I don't know, not first, okay? 

"Fuck the (Heisman) voters!" (or something) was all he had to say. Which was kind of enough.

Went undrafted in April.

"Fuck the NFL!" (or something to that effect). "Gonna' sue the NCAA for a seventh year and get to know my grandkids. Adelante!"

But then, yes, the Ravens came through. Not a big surprise.

You can murder people and play for the Ravens (looking at you, Ray-ray).

So, I ask you. 

Is Diego Pavia going to suck and disappear or is he going to make Hagerman Barracks and the New Mexico Military Institue proud?

36 more days. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life