GG Week Nine Results

 Ohio State 18, USC 30. Everybody picked the Buckeyes. More later.

Northwestern 26, Oregon 34. Even split. Seven for the 'Cats, Seven for the Dux. More bloviation to come.

Arizona 26, Texas Tech 34. No bueno. Film at eleven.

Bonus Round: Florida 8, Georgia 27. Shit. Might revisit this later. 

Only Final Scores:

Q: 17

Chiba: 20 

DTBH: 17

Lola: 16

Ronde': 11

DPo: 21 Big Cheese Leader

Sock: 8 (reflects Betting the Ranch)

KLove: 12

$$uke the Fart Whisperer: Forgot to enter picks. 16

Psycho: 15

Teebs: 13

McLovin: 15

Big Dom: 14

BroFro: 18

Soon I'll tell you how I got these numbers.

It's November. Let's get serious. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Ten Games

 No time for a lot of fucking about with fancy gifs and jokes this week. Because things at BRFL HQ are a hot mess right now. And they're getting worse, if you must know. 

#7 BYU Cougars at #3 Utah Utes, Noon, abc, Salt Lake City, Utah. Let that sink in; Utah is #3.

#9 Alabama Crimson Tide at # 15 LSU,  3:30, abc, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

#1 Miami Hurricanes at #4 Notre Dame Fightin' Irish, 7:30, NBC, South Bend, Indiana.

Roll the bones, My Bitches.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissoner for Life

GG Week Eight Results

 

Virginia Tech dumps Clemson in South Carolina, 20 - 16. This is what happens when you think you're different. A vocal opponent of NIL and revenue sharing, too proud for The Portal, Dabo is still doing it the Clemson Way. And losing at home to a nobody team. Now explain to me how every single one of us (except McLovin, and he was just being a smart-ass) could be dumb enough to pick Clemson. Thanks for nothing, Coach Hot Seat. 

USC 7, Wisconsin 24. The Badgers run USC out of Camp Randall. Everyone knew that USC sucked on defense. Guess they're gonna' blow on offense too now. Jayden Maiava throws two picks in the first quarter. Wisconsin limits USC to minus seventeen yards rushing. MINUS 17. USC 'fans' now calling Lincoln Riley "LinkedIn Riley". It's true. Both USC fans are doing this. 

Psycho took the Badgers. What did he know and when did he know it? I'm not afraid to ask the hard questions. 

Utah 21, Houston 13. Utes dump Cougars. McLovin experiencing The Rapture. Q not so much.

I thought Utah was supposed to suck this year? Was this a conference game? I don't know. Somebody look into this. 

Wasn't prepared for McLovin's great pick this year. Spiritually, really, I wasn't prepared. It's disturbing. 

Scores:

Q: GUTTERBALL! Zero. Has 14.

ChibaChews: Scores one on the back of the Utes. 18.

Dog: GUTTERBALL! 0. 18.

Lola: 1 to make 14. A lot of 'moxie'.

Ronde': 1. Total 9. Big week for Mr. Sucks-at-this.

DPo: 1. 19. The Leader. Also, a douche. 

Sock: 1 to make 9. But this sucking reflects Betting the Ranch. And Losing. And being a punk bitch.

SpecialK: 1 to get to 12. Playing the Long Game. Or just kind of sucking.

$$uke: 1 to make 18. Believes in himself. Nobody else does. 

Psycho: 2. Major score. Don't like it. 12. 

Teebs. GUTTERBALL! 0. 11. Meh.

McLovin: 2. The other high scorer. Has 15. You hate to see it.

BigDom: 1 to make 13. Fart Whisperer.

BroFro: 1 to get to 15. You need more points. But you knew that. Your future looks grim.

Let's just go. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Nine Bonus Round

 No. 

I haven't sent out the scores from Week 8.

But I'm fixin' to offer this BONUS ROUND for Week 9.

#17 Florida Gators vs #3 Georgia. 3:30 PM, abc, Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA

Yo, take the favorite (Georgia, at a sort of neutral site) and win, get a GG point. Pick them and lose, you lose a point. This game doesn't figure into your Week Nine GG total. It can't be used to cobble together a sweep. It can't take a sweep away from you. It's just an extra point or, you lose a point from your GG total at the end of the traditional three game Week Nine tally.

Take the underdog (Florida) and win, get 4 GG points. Pick them and lose, you lose 2 GG points. 'Samesies' for how this applies to the three game Week Nine contest. It doesn't. It's extra. It's bonus. Or not. You could lose a couple points. 

It's like, well, a Bet the Dog House play. You don't have to do it. 

Which one of you sluts has got any guts?

Get those picks in. 

Roll the dog bone. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Nine Games

Time to make the picks.

#22 Arizona Wildcats at #13 Texas Tech, Noon, ESPN, Lubbock, TX.

#20 Northwestern at Oregon, 3:30, NBC on the 'cock, Eugene, OR.

#2 Ohio State at USC Trojans, 7:30, NBC, Los Angeles Coliseum.

Here's hoping for a better performance review than last week, People.

Roll the bones.

"Oh, Hi. So, yeah, let's talk about how you're doing."

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Week Eight Games

 

All Saturday night games:

Virginia Tech at Clemson, 7:00, Clemson, South Carolina, ESPN. Somebody's got to win.

USC Trojans at Wisconsin Badgers, 7:30, Madison, Wisconsin, NBC. Men of Troy v Bucky Badger.

#14 Houston at #10 Utah, 10:15 PM, Salt Lake City, Utah, ESPN. Intra-BRFL hate-fest.

Do you have what it takes? Yeah?

Roll the bones then.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Seven Results

 

The guy making the tackle is a freshman.

Ohio State 19, Indiana 15. Bloodbath in Bloomington and the Buckeyes get the win. Snuffing the Indiana win-streak (22) and home win streak (19) is extra gravy for the Men of the Scarlet and Gray. QB #1 goes down with what looks like a significant injury, enter Luke Fahey (?), a true freshman three star QB from Mission Viejo, CA. I thought he was white but, uh, no, I don't think so. He runs like he's not white. Does Ryan Day hand him the keys now, or do they go with the 5 star sophomore, Tavien St. Clair? How the fuck would I know? All I  know is that you  have to have one foot down in bounds for it to be a complete pass. 

Ole Miss 31, Missouri 3. Wow. Did not see this one coming. Mizzu has a power running game that is, well, awesome. Problem: If your opponent jumps all over you, 21 - 3 before the half, then the power running game isn't happening. Two dumb shits (one of them was me) picked Missouri. 

BYU 28, Notre Dame 24. Here's something you don't see everyday. And then there was a football game. Notre Dame kind of stumbles around in the first half while BYU rains points on them. And then there was this. Put a little less air under it next time. This looked like a punt. Anyway, ND gets their shit together in the second half, sort of but, alas, BYU hangs on. DogTheBountyHunter is feeling pretty, pretty good about himself. 

Bonus AP carnage: Auburn downs #1 Georgia in Athens. War Eagle.

Scores:

Q: Only 1 to go to 14. Slippin'?

Chiba: 2 to make 17. Making a case for himself and not being an asshole about it.

DTBH: Fuck. 2 to go to 18 and a share of the lead. This guy. 

Lola. A puny 1. got 13. Feeling pain.

Ronde': Oh. Just terrible stuff going on here. 1 to go to 8. Eight. 

DPo: Add 2 to your 16 and you have 18 and a share of first place.

SockPuppet. Yes, he BET THE RANCH. 2 for 2 going into game three but he had Notre Dame. The Sock takes it in the shorts. Lost all 6 of his wagered GG points. Picked up 2 for the ones he got right (and wasn't betting with). Drops to 8 from 12 total. Took the GRREAM in the BRFL. This is like the third time the Puppet has Bet the Ranch. Impressive. 

SpecialK: 2 + 9 + 11. On the edge of respectable.

$$uke: Back-sliding punk-ass picks. 1 for a total of 17.

Psycho: 2 to reach 10. Not great. Not as bad as it could be. That's Ronde'.

Teebs: Sucked in by the Hoosiers and the Irish. 1 to make 11.

McLovin: 2 to make 13. Kind of making a move. Kind of gonna' get cuffed up side the head.

Big Dom: 2 added to his 10,  12 total. Grief counseler on speed dial as Notre Dame goes down.

BreauxFreaux: 2. Total 14. I see you, Breaux. I see you.

 

Let's move along.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Commissionerly Comments Week 6

 

USC. Why the hate, AP? Fight on. $$uke living on the edge. Constant penalties are disturbing.

Penn State. Matt Campbell's Psychiatrist is getting rich. Timmy! hung out to dry by the Amish.

TTech. BYE week and nobody noticed. Punk-ass, cake schedule. Pucker on the 'Pokes in Stillwater?

BYU. Coogs let the gas out of Iowa State's bag. Samoans thrive on Mormon meat. I guess. 

Florida. BRFL epic rise and fall, and we're only six weeks in. Get your shit together, SpecialK.

Miami. BYE week. Castro-hating scumbags living in their own filth.

SMU. Ponies idle with the BYE week. Kevin Jennings practicing throwing interceptions. 

Boise State. The fucking Broncos are for real. Stomp the shit out of a good Fresno State team. Sad.

Utah. Nasty molestation of Kansas. Latter Day Saints blood lust operating on crucify mode. Hating.

Navy. Midshipmen dump Tulsa. Despite being a team that sucks, they are not in last place. Puzzling.

LSU. Now we really find out if Lane Kiffin is committed to sobriety. Don't unpack the boxes, Lane.

Clemson. Had a BYE. A week off for Dilbo to try to pull a rabbit out of a hat and save the season.

Notre Dame. What? The all-green unis just to beat the brakes off Stanford? Stanford is, well, shitty. 

Houston. A drubbing of Kansas State on the road. Oklahoma State next, then Utah on the road. Boone Pickens Stadium sphincter-squeezer.

I think some of the game scores on the spread sheet were fucked up.

So? That's not a huge deal. The BRFL scores were right.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Week Seven Games

 

#4 Ohio State at #5 Indiana, noon, FOX, in Memorial Stadium, Bloomington, Indiana.

#13 Missouri at #9 Ole Miss, 3:30, SEC Network,Vaught-Hemingway Stadium, Oxford, Mississippi.

#2 Notre Dame at #8 BYU, abc, LaVell Edwards Stadium, Provo, Utah. 

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Six Results

 Wake Forest 38, North Carolina State 14. The Wolf Pack, playing at home, heads to the locker room up 14 - 10 at intermission. It was a good game. The crowd was happy. But Wake Forest received the kick off to start the second half. Uh-oh. The Deacs hung 28 unanswered points on NC State in the second half, 21 of them in the third quarter. The crowd was sad. 

Gio Lopez (?) goes 26/33 for 303 yds and 3 TDs through the air for Wake Forest. Thank God this game wasn't on FOX or you would have had to put up with Gus Johnson making smart-ass word-play, out of Gio Lopez's first name, all god damned afternoon. 

USC Trojans 31, Penn State 23. 114,419 fans in Beaver Stadium at full 'White Out', 11/10 intensity. This is the kind  of game USC loses. Except that there is a full-on football talent Arms Race going on in Los Angeles these days. Two out of the three Trojans pictured above, including the flying one with the football, are freshman, and the other one is a sophomore. 

Penn State was set to receive the kick off after tying it up just before the half. Surely the Southern Cal defense would flame out, like they usually do. 

Not so fast, My Friend. PSU could only manage two FGs in the second half against the Men of Troy, and Lincoln Riley got the statement road win he had to have.

Georgia 20, Alabama 17. Kalen DeBoer loses his shit (twice!), that's how important this game was. Maybe the best two teams in the country right now. How good is Georgia? They won in Tuscaloosa without their #1 and #2 running backs. The number three man picked up 120 on 17 totes. Gunner Stockton is not great, but he's good enough. 

And lets give a round of applause to Tate Sandell, the Oklahoma kicker. You can wear a comically over-sized helmet and Daisy Dukes, and any other fucking thing you want, if you can drill a 47 yard walk-off field goal, for the win, over #1 Texas in the Red River Rivalry. 

Scores:

Q: GUTTERBALL. 0, Total 13. And you were doing so well. 

Chiba: SWEEP! 5, Add to your 10, total 15. A breakthrough? Maybe yes, maybe no.

DTBH: 2 and your 14 moves you up to 16, three way sausage knot at the top of the heap. 

Lola: SWEEP! 5 and your 7 moves you up to 12.

Ronde': 2, add to your 5 makes 7. So, so bad.

DPo: 2 and your 14 and you have 16.

SockPuppet: SWEEP! 5, redemption after all your suffering. Add to 7 brings you to 12.

Special Ed: 2 added to your 7 is 9. Just, like, not your weekend at all.

$$ucky: SWEEP! 5 to the 11 to the 16. Even a broken watch is right twice a day.

Psycho: Only 1 and that gives you a total of 8. Those are Ronde' numbers, pal.

Teeblations: Just the 1. To add to your 9 and make 10. A glimmer of hope in a season of pain.

McLovin: 2 and your 9 makes 11. One sweep away from stardom.

Big Dom: 2 and your 8, 10, finally, double figures. Hard to care when you're rollin' with Notre Dame

BroFro: 1. Massive betrayal by Penn State is how I see it. You now have 12.

Week 7 comin' up.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 5 Results

 

Penn State 13, Northwestern 34. When your team runs for 48 yards and the other team runs for 413 (including two different guys gaining over 150), you are in trouble. Maybe your QB, named Rocco, can make up for it by chucking the ball for 243. But not if he throws 2 INTs. Foot meets ass. Penn State takes a beatin' in Evanston. Matt Campbell is in over his head. 

Alabama 56, Mississippi State 23. The cowbell jokes are everywhere as Mississippi State takes the 'L' at home. The Tide lays a whuppin' on the Bulldogs and what th hell else did you really expect? Three people picked MSU. It cost McLovin a sweep. GG is not a friendly game.

Navy 9, Air Force 14. Two Service Academies slug it out in Colorado and BreauxFreaux's season is on life support. I get it. Navy was good last year. Maybe they will be good again. That's for others to say. All I know is that it could get worse for the Bro. 

Scores:

Q: Adds 1 to total 13.

ChibaChews: +2 for 10 total. Not too shabby.

DogTheBountyHunter: plus 2 for a share of the lead at 14.

Lola: Adds 2 to make 7.

Ronde': 1. Now you have 5. This is like getting molested at summer camp. I guess. 

DPo: SWEEP! The 'Po is the only sweeper. That sucks. 5 to share the lead at 14.

SockPuppet: Add 2 to total 7.

SpecialK.: 2 to make 7.

$$uke: Had 9, got 2, total 11.

Psycho: 1. Not great. Total 7. Your picking blows.

Timmy!: add 2 to reach 9. A bad, bad weekend for you. 

McLovin: 2 + 7 = 9. So close but ... MSU? I'm getting DNA testing. Nothing personal. 

Big Dom: had 6, added 2, has 8. Oddly shitty year for Big Dom.

BreauxFreaux: 1. Despair. Total 11. Still in the hunt but wishing this weekend hadn't happened. 

We're moving on.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Six Games

 All Saturday games:

Wake Forest Demon Deacons at North Carolina State, Raleigh, NC, Noon, ESPN.

#2 Georgia at #6 Alabama, Tuscaloosa, AL, 7:30, abc.

#19 USC Trojans at Penn State, University Park, PA, 7:30, NBC.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Five Games

FRIDAY NIGHT GAME, 10/2.

 Penn State at Northwestern, Evanston, Illinois, 8 PM FOX

SATURDAY GAMES, 10/3.

#7 Alabama at #16 Mississippi, Starkville, Mississippi, Noon, ABC

Navy at Air Force, USAF Academy Colorado, Noon, ABC

Roll the bones yo. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Four Results

 

A busy weekend. Two Sweepers.

Texas 20 at Tennessee 17. This one was a banger. Colin Simmons with 5 sacks on the Tennessee QB and his usual handful of unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. Stay classy, Collin. There was also this kind of odd touchdown celebration. It's a Texas thing, I guess.

Iowa 20 at Michigan 17. I've been pretty tough on Kurt Ferentz over the years, but this was a masterful comeback, including this epic toss with the last two seconds ticking off. Q and DogTheBountyHunter set up their sweep.

Oregon 41 at USC 27. Dante Moore is carted off after surviving a cheap-ass assasination attempt plus an on-field riot, and then this fucker (above), Dylan Raiola, and a riled up Oregon squad, beat the living shit out of the Troymen in Los Angeles. Defense is still not a "thing" for the Trojans. 

Scores:

Q: SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. The top spot. Q is lovin' her some Iowa. 

ChibaChews: 1  to get 8. Frustration setting in.

DTBH: SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. I object to this whole 'Iowa' thing.

Lola: 1 to make 5. Not exactly burnin' it up.

Ronde': 1 to get a total of 4. Good Lord.

DPo: 1 for 9 total.

Sock: Got 2. Total 5. Just, well, kinda' bad.

SpecialK: GUTTERBALL. 0 for a total of 5. Does not care one bit. SpecialEd has Florida.

$$uke: 2 to make 9. Intensely disappointing weekend.

Psycho: 1 for a total of 6. Didn't you suck at this last year, too?

Teebs: 2. Add to 5 for 7.

McLovin: 2. Samesies. 7.

BigDom: 1 for a total of 6. Kind of sucking.

BreauxFreaux. 2 to make 10 and, as I've said before, watch out for this douche. 

Until next week,

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Four

All Saturday games:

#1 Texas Longhorns at #14 Tennessee Vols, Neyland Stadium, noon, abc.

#17 Iowa at #18 Michigan, Michigan Stadium, 3:30, CBS.

#20 Oregon Ducks at #12 USC Trojans, L.A. Memorial Coliseum, 7:30, NBC.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life