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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Attention, Bitches

This is week 8. Who fucking cares?? You Bitches care.
Why? Because at the end of week 8 you be getting me your Heisman picks.
I need those picks before the first kick off week 9. Feel me?
Now , some years there are only 3 Heisman hopefuls invited to NYC. Those are landslide years.
Is this one of those years? Can you say "Geno Smith"? Maybe.
But I want 5 picks from you slutbags. And I want a percentage of the first place votes that each one of your picks garners from the Heisman voters.
Example:
Fucking Geno Smith. 80% of first place votes.
This should help us with the tie-breaker of the tie-break.
Winner: he or she who picks the Heisman winner and also picks the highest number of Heisman finalists. If there is a tie, then we break it by looking at how the winners did in predicting the percentage of first place votes.
Are you with me? Get your bitching out of the way now so we can have a nice wholesome contest.

Jimbosuke

Posted by at

51 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 11, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    Colin Klein 58%
    Geno Smith 52%
    Braxton Miller 51%
    Marcus Lattimore 52%
    Mante Te'o 51%

    Q

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 11, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    Nicely done, Q.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TheSteamingPile1974October 11, 2012 at 10:57 PM

    Geno Smith 63%
    Collin Klein 59%
    Braxton Miller 53%
    De'Anthony Thomas 52%
    Manti Te'o 52%

    TSP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TheSteamingPile1974October 17, 2012 at 6:49 AM

      Obviously, my picks are in order of their placing, i.e. Geno as the winner, Collin as runner up, Braxton as third finisher, etc...TSP

      Delete
    2. TheSteamingPile1974October 19, 2012 at 4:01 PM

      OK, so after even further rules clarification outlined in the great-grandparent e.mail world, Jimbo For Life says the percentages have to add to 100....so here is my clarification/revision--see above for same order but new %s are here:
      First---Geno Smith 54%
      Second---Collin Klein 16%
      Third---Braxton Millet 12%
      Fourth---De'Anthony Thomas 10%
      Fifth---Manti Te'o 8%
      Let me know when the rules change again,
      TSP

      Delete
  4. S GrahamOctober 15, 2012 at 7:12 AM

    Collin Klein62%
    Braxton Miller 58%
    Geno Smith 57%
    De'Anthony Thomas 55%
    Manti Te'o 55%

    S.Graham

    ReplyDelete
  5. S GrahamOctober 15, 2012 at 7:13 AM

    Collin Klein62%
    Braxton Miller 58%
    Geno Smith 57%
    De'Anthony Thomas 55%
    Manti Te'o 55%

    S.Graham

    ReplyDelete
  6. Timmy!October 15, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    Geno Smith 72%
    Collin Klein 53%
    Braxton Miller 46%
    De'Anthony Thomas 43%
    Manti Te'o 39%

    ReplyDelete
  7. Monty's BallsOctober 16, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    Geno Smith 43%
    Colin Klein 35%
    Braxton Miller 15%
    johnny Manziel 15%
    Manti Teo 15%

    Need clarification on how winner is picked. Is it whoever picks the winner, then gets the % right as a tie break. Or is the runner up the tie break? Not bailing you this year.

    D.Po

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 16, 2012 at 8:35 PM

    Interesting post, DPong. I'm surprised no one else asked for such a clarification. Allow me to bloviate: If there is a BRFLer who picks the Heisman winner and no one else does, then we have a winner. Game over. However, if one or more BRFLers pick the winner then we have to look at how many invitees they got. Did someone pick all five and no one else did? Again, game over. Wait, did more than one BRFLer pick the winner and invitees? Well, who got the percentage of first place votes for EACH INVITEE the closest to correct? Was it Timmy! with a whopping 72% of first place votes for Geno S. but only a measly 39% for Mantatee Toejam? Maybe. So. To recapitulate. It's important to first pick the winner, then the correct five invitees, then teh percentage of first place votes for each invitee. Crisp. Clean. Orderly.
    Nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TheSteamingPile1974October 16, 2012 at 8:49 PM

      Much better than the tie break of the tie break smoke and mirrors from last year...just sayin'. TSP

      Delete
  9. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 16, 2012 at 8:44 PM

    JImbosuke say:

    Collin Klein 45%, winner
    Geno Smith 40%, runner up
    Braxton Miller 30%, 3rd place
    De'Anthony Thomas 25% of first place votes
    Manti Te'o 15% first place votes, token defense pick and Golden Domer.

    I hope I win because I am really special.

    Let me also add that if no one picks the winner we immediately default to total number of invitees correctly pickes. I.e., if no one picks the winner but someone has the winner as #2 THEY DON'T AUTOMATICALLY WIN. Not having that shit.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousOctober 17, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    braxton Miller 58%
    colin klein 52%
    Manti Te'o 42%
    geno smith 29%
    De'Anthony Thomas 18%

    rdiddle

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousOctober 17, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    1.Manti Te'o
    2.Braxton Miller
    3.Collin Klein
    4.Geno Smith
    5.M Barkley

    How is it that everyones percentages of first place votes are totaling more than 100%? Who's retarded here me or Jimmy?. Please help me out and I'll add perecentages tomorrow. SR

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 17, 2012 at 7:51 PM

      I believe they are playing for the tie-breaker here, Snott.
      The flaw I see is that not everyone is saying who they expect to WIN. They are just giving me 5 names and then a percentage. Fuckers. You can't do that. Tell me who you say is going to win and then tell me who is going to come in second, etc. and give me the percentage of first place vote each invitee got. One week extension to fix your picks. Thanks to Snott for revealing your duplicity, cheating scumbags.

      Delete
    2. TheSteamingPile1974October 19, 2012 at 4:06 PM

      Still a confusing system Bro....get it together...now I've done two versions of percentages so I can appeal to D Po to do a tie break of the tie break tie break thing if I feel disrespected or generally boned by your shifting sands of rulemaking revelations....
      TSP

      Delete
    3. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 19, 2012 at 8:40 PM

      Thanks for having my back, you fucking douchebag.

      Delete
  12. TheSteamingPile1974October 17, 2012 at 6:59 PM

    Badger-Boy Jr,
    I think it's the % of the first place votes for each of those individual pick, so the %s don't need to tally to 100, but....this IS Jim's Heismaniac Frankensteinian creation, so who the hell knows for sure?!?!
    TSP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 17, 2012 at 7:55 PM

      Totally wrong, Retread McLovin', and your argument makes no sense. How could Collin Klein get 62% of the first place votes and finish first and Braxton get 58% and finish second and Geno get 57% and finish third? SeaScrote actually thought that made sense. What the fuck, you guys? The first place votes have to add up to 100%. Come on. God damn it.

      Delete
  13. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 9:55 AM

    Dufus
    All we need to list is the percentage of first place votes we think our first place finnisher will recieve. That would establish more than enough differentiation, if it evem comes to that. As usual your shit, Commish, is hopelessly not together.

    SR

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 24, 2012 at 1:06 PM

      Jimboduke say,

      Collin Klein 35% Winner
      A.J. McCarron 26% finishes second
      Braxton Miller 19% third place
      Kenjon Barner 10% fourth
      Man Tee Tey Ho 9% token Samoan in fifth

      Delete
  14. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    1 braxton Miller 32%
    2 colin klein 28%
    3 geno smith 22%
    4. Manti Te'o 14%
    5. De'Anthony Thomas 4%


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 18, 2012 at 11:47 AM

      who are you?

      Delete
    2. D. PoOctober 18, 2012 at 1:48 PM

      Who who? Who Who?
      Tell me who are you, you you, awwwwwwwww yooooou.

      Delete
    3. D. PoOctober 18, 2012 at 1:52 PM

      Winner: Geno Smith 43%
      Others Invited: Colin Klein 35%
      Braxton Miller 15%
      Manti Teo 7%
      Johnny Manziel 0%

      Way to compliment Q on her first place votes adding up to 250%, setting this whole cluster in motion. You could not try any harder to fuck it up.

      Delete
    4. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 19, 2012 at 10:35 AM

      Mistakes happen, DTard. Taking full responsibility.
      Another awesome Commissionerly trait.
      Loving me some more me.

      Delete
  15. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    I love that Sean's heisman selections will share a whopping total of 287% of the first place votes! In this new Universe atheletes can actually give 110-115%, and still be dogging it!! We can all work 8 days a week!!!!

    None of you fucking lemmings even questioned this? D-PO WTF?

    We get an extra week to let the dust settle? Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Timmy! Heisman ReDuxOctober 18, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    1. Geno Smith 41%
    2. Collin Klein 36%
    3. Braxton Miller 14%
    4. De'Anthony Thomas 7%
    5. Manti Te'o 2%

    ReplyDelete
  17. D. PoOctober 18, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    I figured she was hedging her bets for the tie breaker. Besides, this has Jimhole's stench all over it. I have washed my hands of it. Gives you a picture of how the BRFL would look if Jim was involved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 19, 2012 at 10:39 AM

      That's what I thought she was doing, too, StoolSwatch. Then everybody else jumped on the band wagon. Could have gone out of control. But no. Snott is fighting for his life and needs wins in GG AND Heismaniac to remain solvent. It's all connected. The circle is unbroken.

      I am a genius beloved by all. Feels so right.

      Delete
  18. ccsOctober 23, 2012 at 9:33 PM

    order %of 1st place votes
    1st) Collin Klein 36%
    2nd) AJ McCarron 23%
    3rd) Geno Smith 22%
    4th) Matt Barkley 16%
    5th) Manti Te'o 3%

    ccs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 28, 2012 at 9:33 PM

      Only a giant Syph Chancre would even consider Matt Barkley Heisman worthy. You put the douche in douchebag, Chipn'Clit.

      Delete
  19. skHankOctober 27, 2012 at 11:08 AM

    Collin Klein 45% winner
    Kenjon Barner 25% runner up
    Manti Teo 18% third place
    AJ McCarron 7% fourth
    Braxton Miller 5% fifth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 28, 2012 at 9:32 PM

      You are a shameless follower and deserve your fate: roasting on a spit in hell's blazing fire for eternity. There is no hope for you. None.

      Delete
  20. srOctober 28, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    Manti Teo 35
    Colin Klein 30
    AJ McCarron 20
    Braxton Miller 10
    Geno Smith 5

    Sticking with Manti

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 28, 2012 at 3:49 PM

      Interesting. He had a big game last night. Heisman says "the player most important to their team's success," among other things. Mannatee fits the bill.

      Delete
  21. ccsOctober 28, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    Updated Heisman picks:
    1)Collin Klein 36%
    2)AJ McCarron 20%
    3)Geno Smith 18%
    4)Marqise Lee 17%
    5)Manti Te'o 9%

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousOctober 28, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    Sock Puppet

    Collin Klein - 41%
    Manti Te'o - 20%
    AJ McCarron - 19%
    Kenjon Barner - 14%
    Marquis Lee - 6%

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 28, 2012 at 9:29 PM

      Okay, now there's a ballot I can respect. Love the Marquis Lee inclusion. Huge day yesterday. I hope you win, Fucker. Seriously.

      Delete
  23. D. PoOctober 28, 2012 at 9:10 PM

    Winner: Colin Klein 60%

    Runners Up
    Manti Te'o 20%
    Geno Smith 10%
    Brax Miller 5%
    AJ McCarron 5%

    Interesting the Commish thinks % of votes will be the tie-break. Closest without going over? Why not order of finish? Who will actually get the percentages correct?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 28, 2012 at 9:30 PM

      You are a three alarm imbecile. Christ have mercy on your ignorant soul. Repent, Bitch.

      Delete
    2. Lance Herbstrong, Commissioner for LifeOctober 28, 2012 at 9:36 PM

      Fuck you and your Commissioner-doubting jibberish, DPussy.

      Delete
    3. D. PoOctober 29, 2012 at 8:27 AM

      Hurtful words, Jimbo, hurtful.

      Delete
    4. srOctober 29, 2012 at 5:31 PM

      It's time. The country wants defense and they want the Irish. Manti replaces some of my Badger losses. How could you meatheads be more fucking stupid.

      Delete
  24. Jimbosuke, Commissioner for LifeOctober 29, 2012 at 8:29 AM

    Winner
    Marcus Lattimore 110%
    Invitees:
    Tyrann Mathieu 99%
    Denard Robinson 175.5%
    Landry Jones 250%
    Brent Musberger 69%

    ReplyDelete

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