GG Week Five Games

FRIDAY NIGHT GAME, 10/2.

 Penn State at Northwestern, Evanston, Illinois, 8 PM FOX

SATURDAY GAMES, 10/3.

#7 Alabama at #16 Mississippi, Starkville, Mississippi, Noon, ABC

Navy at Air Force, USAF Academy Colorado, Noon, ABC

Roll the bones yo. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Four Results

 

A busy weekend. Two Sweepers.

Texas 20 at Tennessee 17. This one was a banger. Colin Simmons with 5 sacks on the Tennessee QB and his usual handful of unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. Stay classy, Collin. There was also this kind of odd touchdown celebration. It's a Texas thing, I guess.

Iowa 20 at Michigan 17. I've been pretty tough on Kurt Ferentz over the years, but this was a masterful comeback, including this epic toss with the last two seconds ticking off. Q and DogTheBountyHunter set up their sweep.

Oregon 41 at USC 27. Dante Moore is carted off after surviving a cheap-ass assasination attempt plus an on-field riot, and then this fucker (above), Dylan Raiola, and a riled up Oregon squad, beat the living shit out of the Troymen in Los Angeles. Defense is still not a "thing" for the Trojans. 

Scores:

Q: SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. The top spot. Q is lovin' her some Iowa. 

ChibaChews: 1  to get 8. Frustration setting in.

DTBH: SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. I object to this whole 'Iowa' thing.

Lola: 1 to make 5. Not exactly burnin' it up.

Ronde': 1 to get a total of 4. Good Lord.

DPo: 1 for 9 total.

Sock: Got 2. Total 5. Just, well, kinda' bad.

SpecialK: GUTTERBALL. 0 for a total of 5. Does not care one bit. SpecialEd has Florida.

$$uke: 2 to make 9. Intensely disappointing weekend.

Psycho: 1 for a total of 6. Didn't you suck at this last year, too?

Teebs: 2. Add to 5 for 7.

McLovin: 2. Samesies. 7.

BigDom: 1 for a total of 6. Kind of sucking.

BreauxFreaux. 2 to make 10 and, as I've said before, watch out for this douche. 

Until next week,

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Four

All Saturday games:

#1 Texas Longhorns at #14 Tennessee Vols, Neyland Stadium, noon, abc.

#17 Iowa at #18 Michigan, Michigan Stadium, 3:30, CBS.

#20 Oregon Ducks at #12 USC Trojans, L.A. Memorial Coliseum, 7:30, NBC.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Three Results

 

Texas Tech 28, Houston 26. A barn-burner in Lubbock. Houston comes within a hair of taking it to OT on the 2 point conversion attempt. Alas, no. Stoned at the 1 millimeter line. A lot of soiled football pants for Tech. Hankies and sponges for the Houston Cougars. Both teams looked good but now TTech owns the head to head. 

Louisville 41, SMU 31. This was a humdinger in Louisville, KY. Both squads ripped off filthy long runs from scrimmage; Kendrick Rafael for the Ponies and Keyjuan Brown (above) and Isaac Brown for the Cards. Lincoln Keinholz balls out (again) and you wonder if maybe Ohio State let one get away. Kevin Jennings returns to turn-over machine mode with two INTs and a fumble just before crossing the plane. 

Ole Miss 32, LSU 24. Ole Miss rolls out the Welcome Mat for Lane Kiffin, and the Rebs dump the Bayou Bengals in Oxford. Haven't seen the game. A lot of drama. Rebs thanking God for that Trinidad Chambliss 10th year of eligibility ruling. At 24 yrs old, he's just getting started. SEC is a dog-fight from here on out. 

Scores.

Q: GUTTERBALL. How brief the glory. 7.

Chiba: 1 to make 7.

DogTBH: 2 to reach 7. 

Lola: 2 and 2 is 4 total.

Ronde': 2 to make 3. Floundering.

DPo: picks up 2 to go to 8.

SockPuppet: 2 to make 3. Just, you know, not a great start.

SpecialK: 1 to make 5. Barely notices due to 24 hour erection after watching the Florida game.

$$uke: SWEEP! 5 to make 7 and this fucker is right back in it. 

Psycho: 2 adds to his 3 for total 5.

Teebs: 2 to make 5.

McLovin: 2 to equal 5 total.

Big Dom: 2 to join the SausageFest at 5.

Breaux Freaux: 2 to tie for first with 8.

We're movin' on.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Week 2 Results

 

"Do I cut the red wire? The green?"

Well, that week Sure didn't work out so great. 

Oklahoma 10, Michigan 17 in Ann Arbor. Hail to the Victors yo. The problem with a sample size of one is that it doesn't really tell you anything. Oklahoma beats up on some tomato can Week One (in this case UTEP) and they're instantly play-off material. Michigan wins ugly against a surprisingly good Western Michigan team and they suck. Until they don't. Not one of us picked Michigan, at home, over the Sooners. We are all so, so stupid. 

Cal Berkely 21, Syracuse 18 in the Dome. Paul Angeli, the Orange QB, throws for 307 yards. Not bad, you say. Except that it took him 50 throws to do it, including three interceptions to the same fucking guy, one of which was returned for 6. 
The struggle is real. 

Ohio State 23, Texas 24 in Memorial Stadium. Six of you picked Texas. Blessedly, I was asleep for the whole thing. It took until Wednesday for me to find the guts to watch it. It was not a positive experience. The only good thing about it was that I accidentally recorded it with a couple of Mexicans calling the game instead of Herbie and Fowler. That part was funny. 

Scores:

Q: 2 to make 7 total.

Chiba: 1 to make 6.

DTBH: GUTTERBALL. Total 5.

Lola : GUTTERBALL. Total 2. Not great.

Ronde': 0. GUTTERBALL! Total is 2. Sad. 

DPo: 1 to total out at 6.

Sock: GUTTERBALL. Total 2. "Billy", what's your deal?

Special K: 2. Adds up to 4.

$$uke: GUTTERBALL. Total 2. No bueno. 

Psycho: 1. Has 3 total.

Teebs: 2 to make 3.

McLovin: 1 to  make 3.

Big Dom: 1 to make 3. Unusually bad.

BreauxFreaux: 1 to make 6. Big fucking deal. 

Onward.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week Three Games

FRIDAY NIGHT:

#22 Houston Cougars at #13 Texas Tech Raiders, interstate hate, Q vs Psycho, 8 PM, FOX. 

SATURDAY:

#16 Southern Methodist U (SMU) Mustangs at #23 Louisville Cardinals, CJK5H, 3:30 ESPN2.

#7 LSU Tigers at #8 Ole Miss Rebs, regrettably, a full length movie about Lane Kiffin, 7:30, abc.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Results, Week One

Charlie Cardinal doesn't give a fuck. 

Apropos of nothing but here's an Instagram clip from some guy in his basement, smoking meth out of a six foot bong, and watching the Indiana game. (Sign in to X to hear the audio. It's worth it.)

Okay, that's not really Charlie Cardinal (above), the Louisville Mascot, but it's close. And, apparently, Lincoln Keinholz had some kind of gash behind his ear, in the second half, that was leaking blood down his jaw. So he's a hemophiliac quarterback too, I guess.

This was, I presume, the REAL Lincoln Keinholz, who went off like a cruise missile to Moscow in the last two quarters against Ole Miss Sunday night. Not deep-fake Lincoln Keinholz, who kind of played like he'd never thrown a football before, in the first two stanzas. 

Louisville 38, Ole Miss 41 in Nashville. A real sweep maker for a few of you sons-of-bitches. 

Which brings us to ... what the fuck, Cal? All I've been hearing is how Cal is really coming on. As a program. In a good way. Not in a punching bag way. Which is what they were, at home,  for the UCLA Bruins, on Saturday night. I guess there's something going on at UCLA, too. Or am I just a dumb-ass who sucks at GG?

UCLA 45, Cal 24. Bitterly disappointed in Berkeley.

Let's put this week's Pig to bed with the truck-drag in Baton Rouge. Lane Kiffin is a fucking jerk. This we know. But, Dabo, Dabo, DABO. I'm shakin' my head. There are a lot of reasons that Clemson stinks like dog poop right now; Brett Venables is at Oklahoma. Paying college players to play for your team is now okay. Dabo refuses to go all-in on the Portal  and can't match the NIL money that others offer. Whatever. Just, ya' know, Dabo is looking like he's toast after this season. If he makes it through this season. Clemson still has to play Miami, Virginia Tech and the South Carolina Gamecocks. Ow.

Clemson 10, LSU 51. I don't know what drugs Lane Kiffin is taking but they're working. For now. 

Scores: 

Q: SWEEP! 5

ChibaChews: SWEEP! 5

DogTheBountyHunter: SWEEP! 5

Lola: 2

Ronde': 1

DPo: SWEEP! 5

SockPuppet: 2

Special K: 2

$$uke: 2

Psycho: 2

Teeblations: 2

McLovin: 2

Big Dom: 2

BroFro: SWEEP! 5.

That'll do it for Week 1. 5 SWEEPERS out front. 

GG Week Two Games

All Saturday games:

#11 Oklahoma at unranked Michigan Wolverines, in Ann Arbor, Noon, FOX.

Cal Golden Bears at Syracuse, in the Dome, 3:30, ACCNetwork.

#1 Ohio State at #4 Texas Longhorns, Memorial Stadium in Austin, Texas, 7:30, abc.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life