The Ugly Numbers

 BRFL Final Tally. 

The Spreadsheet. You saw it. "Billy" and QXXX already Venmoed me their cash. I really love them. They're like family. 

This year, when it comes to paying debts, it's no more Mr. Nice Guy. 

Last year...well...let's move on.

Some people paid me for my Awesome Win in the First EVER BRFL NFL Playoff Pool.

If memory serves it was Kitten, McLovin and BroFro. 

A lot of people didn't. So... that will be ten bucks, Losers.

As for the rest of you debtors, check the spread sheet in your email and fork it over.

Venmo, check or cash in a paper sack. 

I don't care. As long as the BRFL gets paid. 

Your losses pay the winners. So it was in the Beginning. As it is Now. As it ever shall be. 

Jimbo$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

PS: KBronie, you must return the Liberace. I'm terribly sorry.

PSS; The Venmo handle for the Commissioner is @James-LaCava-2.

BRFL 2021 Damage Report

BRFL 2021 Damage Report: Final Tally

'For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls : for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.'

- Leviticus 17:11

Wake up, Brothers and Sisters.

Here are the numbers. How it went and where you ended up.

It's been a long time coming. Don't bitch. I hade stuff going on.

Here's how we finished;

Lola. Took a flyer on Iowa State. They looked so good. Last August. Crushed in the BRFL to the tune of minus 19, she pulled herself up by her bootstraps in GG, finishing second in that contest with 9 points. Still, even this failed to stave off disaster as she finished with minus ten, good enough for dead last and a lock on the Bruce Pinkernell Award. Congratulations. 💔

CCS. What was behind the suicidal pick of U Wash in 2021? We may never know. Several lackluster performances by the Huskies later the Chipster tallied minus 11 in the BRFL. GG (sort of) threw him a lifeline with 4 puny points (remember that CCS sacked up and bet the ranch week 14 - which cost him). So when the smoke cleared and the hankies were in the laundry CCS finished at minus 7. Bad. Carry the Shame Penguin for 365 days.

Just to be assholes, KBronie and DPo decided to tie at some shitty place near the bottom. Let's take KBronieManWoman first.

Mr. 'Jump on the Band Wagon' put his faith in UNC and the nonagenarian Coach Mack. I can't even remember his first name that's how irrelevant this fucker is. Wait, that is his first name. Mack Brown. Speaking of 'brown' UNC just pooped all over themselves all season and Mr. Mack proved, once and for all,  that coaching Division 1 is a young man's game. They sucked. KBron's final BRFL tally was MINUS 13. Oh my fucking, GOD. Yet, his dedication to GG paid off. He took the GG Cheese and had ten points to offset his disastrous Tar Heel Cluster Fuck and only ended the season at minus 3. Kudos. 

Then there's DPo. His extended multi-planar orgasm after scUM buried TOSU notwithstanding, he too had a very, very bad season with a super questionable pick : USC. Why did he do it? Again, we may never know. USC sucked thoroughly and intensely. Their coach got fired after, what, the third game? They didn't even go to a bowl. DPo finished the BRFL season with minus ten from the Troy Men's woeful performance but his GG prowess snagged him a much needed 7 points and he pulled into dry-dock at minus 3. Nothing to be  proud of really. 

Timmy! Every year somebody has to pick Wisconsin. Teebs took his turn in '21 and got burned to the tune of minus three in the BRFL. (That snoozer win over Arizona State in the SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl helped). A pretty sad showing in GG gave him 2 points. Still, negative territory for the season. Teeblations embarrasses himself and ends at Minus One. 

SockPuppet. Hark back to the rapture of week 2 when the Oregon Ducks dumped Ohio State in Columbus 35 - 28 and it looked like Sock/"Billy" had made the pick of the year. Soon, though, it would be revealed that Ohio State didn't have a defense in 2021 and the Ducks would run into a nasty streak of key injuries. Pretty soon the whole fucking thing fell apart, Mario Cristobal bailed for Miami and the Ducks got carted off after a loss to Oklahoma in the Valero Alamo Bowl. 

A platry +3 in the BRFL, a disastrous bet the ranch weekend on week 14 so GG only adds 2, Sock limps across the finish line with plus 5.

Jimbo$$uke. Decides to go the McLovin way 🌈but errs on the side of the homer pick and rolls with #4 (preseason) Ohio State. The offense soars, sort of, and the defense is ... horrible. Defensive Coordinator gets demoted three games in and the unthinkable happens in Ann Arbor. The Commissioner flirts with suicide but, wait, there's one more game. A chance to knock off Snottie in the Rose Bowl. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. TOSU 48, Utah 45. 

Was it enough to save my season? Fuck no. I too bet the ranch and got raped in GG. I end the BRFL season  with 4, get nothing from GG and collapse at the end of this shit-show with plus 4.

QXXX. Remember when Q won it all? Those days are gone. Q tried to get cute and went with Liberty U, the Christian Fanatics, this season. How'd that work out, Q? 7 and 5. That's how. You whupped the shit out of Eastern Meechy in your (Lending Tree) Bowl but, honestly? A very questionable pick. A case of cocky ex-champion over-reach, if I  may be so bold. You end the BRFL grind with +10 (how???) and join the Jimbo$$uke club in GG by netting big-fat-fucking-zero and it's, lights out, plus 10.

 Dog the Bounty Hunter. Iowa. Again. Chronically overpaid Jerry's Kid, Kirk Ferentz, logs a 10 and 3 season (Big 10 West, Big 10 West, Big 10 West...suuuuccccckkkkks), get's bested by ship-without-a-rudder Kentucky in the "VRBO Citrus Bowl", whatever that is, and fucking Seannie has +15 BRFL when the dust settles and a puny +1 to end at plus 16. Where's the Justice?

BroFro. Now here's a lad who knows how to go to the bargain-bin and pick up some quality tools. CoastalCarolina. The Fisting Chandeliers or whatever. These motherfuckers, playing in the SunBelt Conference, go 10 and 2 loosing by a proc-hair to App State and Georgia State. This was an "I'm taking the Cheese, Bitch, blow  me!" pick if I ever saw one. 

Sadly, it didn't work out. +12 BRFL (respectable), a rousing 7 from GG (ever diligent) and the 'Fro brings it home with plus 19. Watch and learn.

Snottie. It should have gone better. Everybody had their eye on Utah, but Snottie pulled the trigger on the Utes with the #3 pick in the BRFL 2021 draft. 10 - 3, including an early season OT loss to San Diego State on the road. Well positioned for Glory, the Utes had the misfortune to draw a dysfunctional but motivated Buckeye squad in the Rose Bowl and...well...you know what kinda' eyes she got! Still the Snotter had 26 BRFL points (even after that crushing disappointment in Pasadena) and picked up another 6 from his GG adventures and, actually, kind of crushed the season with plus 32. That's fully twice what you had, Dog.

Kitten. Doesn't it just seem like Kitten will always be a rookie? Watch out for this little Bitch though. In a semi-homer pick (which, in my experience, is a risky move) the Kitty went with the Queen City Bearcats and fuck, did they light it up or what? Hello?! They only went undefeated and made it to the CFP semis only to run into Satan's spawn Alabama and lose. But, hey, the Bearcats? Only people from Alabama wanted Alabama to win that game. 

Which reminds me of a joke: why don't women from Alabama do it dog-style? 

Won't turn their back on family.

Kitten pulls into the wasteland of off-season with +31, plus 5 from his GG exploits and hammers home the Liberace with plus 36. Oh, the Rapture. 

Which brings us to Ronde'. A strong, strong pick with Ole Miss. Again, we were all thinking about the Rebs but only Ronde' pulled the trigger on them with THE #7 PICK IN THE 2021 BRFL DRAFT! What were you douchebags thinking? He stole this pick. They were UNRANKED. And, had it not been for an untimely injury to Oxford legend Matt Corral, they would have picked off Baylor in the All State Sugar Bowl. But no. 

It was not to be. 

All this time the Randude was counting his money and, because he doesn't read the Living Document, he had forgotten all about the Focus of Evil: 

McLovin.

Ronde' with plus 40 at the end of the BRFL season. Plus 3 more from GG. Plus 43 fucking points. My Friends! Insurmountable, right?

But second place is for Losers, isn't it, Friends?

McLovin. The #13 pick in the 2021 BRFL Draft. Sure, sure. Georgia was ranked #5. But Ohio State was ranked #4. How'd that work out? But McLovin goes with the Dawgs. He runs the table, slowly but surely accruing points. More importantly perhaps, McLovin, who actually reads  the Living Document, busts his cookies in GG. Yes, Satan's Five Stars dump Georgia in the SEC conference championship. But the Bulldogs still back into the CFP. They roll Michigan. Yawn. And then they hand Little Nicky the "L" and win the Natty. Plus 43 BRFL points when it's over, plus 8 from his hard work in the GG arena and McLovin cruises to the Promised Land with plus 51 mind-numbing points.

We may never see a late season surge like this again because, of course, I'm changing the rules.

Coming next, your financial repercussions.

Jimbo$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

The BRFL Soiree' Cometh

 

Earthlings,

No, I have not yet let you know how much you won, nor how much you lost, in last year's epic BRFL confrontation. Believe me when I tell you that I am working on it. It's just that I'm working on  it very, very slowly. 

Harken, though, BRFL monkey people; The BRFL Jamboree is almost upon us. August 6th at 6 PM, to be precise. This will be our first convocation in three years due to The Plague and other mitigating factors. Sadly, there will be no "Barb's Pies" this time around. Barb turned a hundred and seventeen since last we got together and a half dozen pies for a bunch of drunks is a 'Big Ask'. BUT... the Jambo will happen.

 Allow me to further bloviate and point out that these are "extraordinary times" (again!) and it seems like everybody has a wedding or a "celebration of life" or something that's been put off for a couple years, happening every fucking weekend. It's exhausting. Tell me about it. Yet the Commissioner insists on a gathering of the Clan August 6th. Here we are. 

To get to the point, I need to know, from you, intrepid College Football gambling freaks, whether you intend to show for the Jambo. If you can't make it I certainly understand. The timing could be better. Send me a text or an email though, so I can get a rough head count. Let me know 'your intentions'. 

To be honest this is really all about me. One can eat only so much Lamb Biryani and Chicken Madras without lapsing into an unfortunate accent, so I really don't want to get stuck with enough left-overs to feed a platoon of starving Marines. 

In closing let us all lay our heads upon downy pillows tonight, giving thanks for The Commissioner who is,  as always,  looking out for us all, such that we don't make dumb-ass mistakes. 

Jimbo$$uke, Commissioner for Life.

Super Bowl

Snottie flames out

Super Bowl 56.

Los Angeles Rams 23, Cincinnati Bengals 20.

Jimbo$uke takes The Cheese. Snottie gets stoogatz.

Ask yourself, "Did I send my $10 for this most righteous and wholesome contest to BRFL Headquarters?"

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life.

 

Super Bowl Week, Conference Championships

Conference Championships.

January 30, 2022.

Cincinnati Bengals 27 over KC Chiefs 24 in Arrowhead. Hush, Andy Reid. Here's a hanky. CCS shot down over Poland by evil Snottie. Snottie on to Los Angeles.

San Francisco 17, Los Angeles Rams 20. Matthew Stafford ends the game in the Victory Formation. Teeblations goes down in flames. Bo$$$uke sets up for the showdown with Snottie on Super Sunday.

This sets up a conflict for 'Bo$$$uke. On the one hand the Bengals are plastered with former Buckeyes in feature roles. On the other, if the Rams win, 'Bo$$$uke takes the cheese. 

Oh well. Win Win.

The Commissioner's prediction? Why not. Nobody reads this shit anyway.

The Bengals win a close one. 

Sean McVay seemed panicky in the win over the 49ers, wasting red review flags and time-outs like Kleenex. Matthew Stafford, for the first time in this playoff series, started to look like the interception machine of old, tossing one deep throw that looked so much like a punt I expected the DB to call for a fair catch - before he dropped it. 

Cincinnati's O-line may not be much, but if the Bengals stay unpredictable on early downs (i.e. throw it) they should be enough. And they have Evan McPherson, the rookie kicker with the kryptonite leg. The Bengals D is hitting on all cylinders, especially the back 7. Forcing throws against this bunch is no bueno. 

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

NFL Playoff Series; Conference Championships

 NFL Divisional Round results;

In Nashville, Cincinnati 19, Tennessee 16. Get the fuck out, DPo. Snottie advances. 

On Lambeau Field, the 49ers 13, Peckers 10. You're fucking DONE, Lola. Teebs heads to the NFC Championship tilt.

In Raymond James Stupid Pirate Ship Stadium, Los Angeles Rams 30, Tampa Bay 27. Bye, Bronie. Bo$$$uke takes on Teeblations and the 9ers in the NFC Championship.

In Missouri, in OT, Buffalo 36, KC 42. Should have kicked off short. Now get the hell out of here, SockPuppet. CCS meets Snottie in the AFC Title game. 

The first three games were all walk-off field goal wins by the visitors and the last game was an instant classic in OT. In case you missed 'em. There's always YouTube.

Conference Championships:

Cincinnati Bengals @ Kansas City Chiefs, in Arrowhead Stadium, KC, MO. 3 PM. CBS. Sunday.

San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams, in SoFi Stadium, 6:30 PM, FOX, Sunday.

Jimbo$uke

Commissioner for Life

NFL Gambling, Divisional Round

 

Divisional Round.

Wild Card Recap:

Cincinnati puts the Las Vegas Raiders out of their misery 26 -19 behind another near-flawless performance by Joe Burrow. Kitten heads for the bus stop. Snottie moves on.

The Buffalo Bills beetle the hapless New England Patriots 47 -17. Josh Fuckin' Allen. Pack it in, QXXX. Sock Puppet keeps going.

Forty-Niners 23, Cowboys 17. Jerry Jones drinking straight out th'fuckin' bottle after a masterpiece of late game mismanagement by the 'Boys craters the season. Let yourself out the back, BroFro. Teeblations heads to Green Bay.

Kansas City plasters Pittsburgh 42 - 21. You're gone, McLovin. And so is Big Fucking Ben. CCS rolls on.

Tampa Bay bitch slaps Philadelphia 31 - 15. Ronde' wraps it up. Komronovich advances. 

The Rams beat the shit out of the Cardinals 34 -11, and DogTheBountyHunter heads home. 'Bo$$$uke is on to the next round. 

Divisional Round Games.

January 22:

Cincinnati Bengals @ Tennessee Titans  4:30  CBS

Nissan Stadium, Nashville, TN.

San Francisco 49ers @ Green Bay Packers  8:15  FOX

Lambeau Field, Green Bay, WI.

January23:

Los Angeles Rams @ Tampa Bay Bucanneers  3 PM  NBC

Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, FL.

Buffalo Bills @ Kansas City Chiefs  6:30  CBS

GEHA Field @ Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City, MO

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

NFL Betting Beast Mode, Round 1: Wild Card

NFL Playoff Gambling, Round 1:

 Saturday: Las Vegas Raiders 19 @ Cincinnati Bengals 26. 4:30. NBC.

                 New England Patriots 17 @ Buffalo Bills. 47 8:15. CBS

Sunday: Philadelphia Eagles 15 @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers 31. 1 PM. FOX.

              San Francisco 49ers 23 @ Dallas Cowboys.  17 4:30. CBS

              Pittsburgh Steelers 21 @ Kansas City Chiefs. 42 8:15 NBC

Monday: Arizona Cardinals 11 @ Los Angeles Rams. 34 8:15. ABC/ESPN/ESPN+

NFL Playoff Pool Fixin' To Get Underway

 NFL Playoff, Single Elimination, Last-Person-Standing-Takes-the-Cheese Contest.

I mentioned this earlier this year (to rave reviews I might add, see July 28th blog post "BRFL Poaches NFL Playoffs"). Most people didn't send me their ten bucks. This should surprise no one. Still, this is not an optional contest. Everyone is in for 10 clams. There are 14 teams in the playoff. You pick one and you roll with it. It couldn't be any simpler.

Lola has Green Bay. Finished 14th in the BRFL.

CCS has Kansas City. Finished 13th, and so on. 

(DPo unavailable briefly. Moved on. Time sensitive issues.)

BronieButtBuddy (was tied with the 'Po) with Tampa Bay.

Teeblations with San Francisco.

DPo with the Tennessee Titans.

'Bo$$$uke with the LA Rams.

SockPuppet with the Buffalo Bills.

QXXX takes the New England Patriots.

DTBH with the Arizona Cardinals.

BroFro took the Cowboys.

Snottie with the Cincinnati Bengals. 

Kitten grabs the Las Vegas Raiders.

Ronde' gives the Philadelphia Eagles the nod.

McLovin gets the Pittsburgh Steelers by default.

Get with it, People. The BRFL never takes a day off. This is happening NOW!

And we're underway!

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

McLovin makes his move for The Cheese

McLovin is coming to steal The Cheese.

Here's how it could shake out:

At last count Ronde' had a monstrous 43 points in the BRFL. 

McLovin had a respectable but unimpressive 21. 

But then McLovin turned on the jets and won the CFP semi and ran off a string of wins in GG, including a couple sweeps. One of those sweeps was Round 4, the CFP semi round. He banked 8 GG points that day alone. And set himself up for 6 more if he picks the Natty. That would land him at 47 GG points. Probably not enough to win GG outright but enough to pick up a few points toward his BRFL total. 

But, wait. 

There's more.

He won a CFP semi game. 7 points puts him at 28. Wins the Natty? 12 points puts him at 40 in the BRFL. Add one for the no drop. 41.The last AP Poll had Georgia at #3. If they win? Well. 2 points for the move up. That's 43. 

And so we see, Brothers and Sisters, that if McLovin wins this game he TAKES THE CHEESE. 

Ronde' can't pull a rabbit out of a hat with GG points either because he is only picking for 3 on the win tonight since he inexplicably didn't pick the CFP GG round (I checked. It's sad. 😟). And The Ron only had 33 GG points anyway so, like, misery and sucking. 

The Matt Corrall injury looms large. If only Ole Miss could have dumped Baylor. 

Oh well. 💔

Of course, if McLovin loses this game it's a whole different story. 

 

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowl-a-rama, Twilight of the Bowls Results

GG Twilight of the Bowls.

Oklahoma State 37, Notre Dame Golden Douchebags 35. Personally, this was a very satisfying game. Anytime you get to watch the Domers blow a 21 point lead and see a cocky, whelp-ass, motherfucker newly minted head coach eat his own guts on the sideline, well, hey, that's FUN. Justice in Glendale. Hallelujah, Brothers and Sisters. 

THE Ohio State University 48 over Utah 45 in a barn-burner in the Rose Bowl. 

Baylor 21, Ole Miss 7. Matt Corrall, the life-blood of the Runnin' Rebs, goes down in the first quarter and, well, things didn't go so well for Kitten. You hate to see it. 😠

BroFro. 1 to go to 45. Weirdly, BroFro is a player all of a sudden. Not sure how I feel about this.

McLovin. SWEEP! What the FUCK?! 5 to go to 41. I'm officially concerned. 

Teeblations. 2 to go to 28. Someday you will stop picking Notre Dame. And life will look like it's worth living again. 

DTBH. SWEEP! Out of the darkness and into the light. 5 to go to 25. The worm finally turns.

Snottie. 2 to go to 40. TOSU with the comeback blows your sweep sky high, DingleHole.

DPo. SWEEP! 5 to go to 42. This late GG rally could help off-set your crushing USC losses. Or not.

SockPuppet. 1 to go to 30. One? Jesus. That sucks. 

'Bo$$$uke. 1 to go to 23. I picked the Utes. God punished me. I have been dog shit in GG this year.

Ronde'. 2 to go to 33. Again, mystified that you submitted no picks for the CFP championships. Suspecting something got missed. Still, your score sucks as it stands. Really sucks. 

CCS. 2 to go to 22. At 22 it's fair to say nobody cares about your picks going forward. Really, not to put too fine a point on it, but it's as if you don't exist.

Bronita. 1 to go to 50. Sucking hind tit to Lola. How is that going for you?

QXXX. 2 to go to 22. For you, this represents a rally. Meaningless, sure. Of course. But a rally nonetheless.

Lola. 2 to go to 52. It's for real. You are the GG Dominatrix.

Kitten. 1. 35 Total. You totally deserve this drubbing for 1) picking the Domers, Godless Blasphemer and 2) picking against TOSU. 

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowl-a-rama , Round 4 Results

GG Bowl-a-rama, Round 4 Results

CFP Semis Round.

Georgia 34, Meechy 11. The dream dies in Miami Gardens and the skunk weasels head home to Ann Arbor. They balled out for sure but, well, Georgia. At least Meechy played to win. You'll not see a scUM team the likes of this one again any time soon.

Despised Alabama 27 over Cincinnati 6. Couple of field goals. Mismatch in Arlington, TX

MooU 31, Pitt 21. Good game. Nobody cared. Fuck this game.

Remember, a sweep of this shit-show was worth 8. 'Cause it was the CFP Semis Round. I told you about this but I'm betting you didn't listen. Also, as previously mentioned, if you nailed the two CFP games you got three points, not two, and you CARRY those 3 points to the Natty. This effectively makes the Natty worth a total of 6 points to you. Not three. 

BroFro. SWEEP! 8 to go to 44. Suddenly you're somebody. Ha-cha-cha. Carry 3 to the Natty.

McLovin. SWEEP! 8 to go to 36. I hesitate to call you "somebody" Let's not get carried away. Carry 3 to the Natty. This could potentially be a big deal.

Teeba. 2 to reach 26. Uh, yeah.

DTBH. 1 to make 20. Until this season I was unaware that Down's Syndrome could be acquired in mid-life. 

Snottie. 2 to go to 38. Missed opportunity, Friendless. Still, carry 3 to the Natty. 

Dpo. Missed the first game.  Total 37. Another week, another fuck-up. 2 for 2 though, carry 3 to the Natty.

SockPuppet. SWEEP! 8 to go to 30. And carry 3 to the Natty. I love you. 💖

'Bo$$$uke. 1 to go to 23. Well, sure.

Ronde'. 0. Zero. No entries. Did I miss your entries? It's possible. Let me know. Right now I have you at 31 which is not that great, to be honest.

CCS. 1. Jesus. You have 20. That's, like, really bad.

Bronita. 2 to go to 49. Bitch, you're slippin'.

QXXX. 1 to go to 20. Have your well tested. Also maybe a Radon check. You missed the first two games. I question your commitment. 

Lola. SWEEP! 8 to go to 50 and pull into the lead. Carry 3 to the Natty. History in the making. 

Kitten. 2 to go to 35. The Bearcats finally let you down. It was fun while it lasted.

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life.

GG Bowl -a-rama Round 3 Results

 

GG Bowls: Round 3 Results.

Clemson, Hated Clemson, 20 over Iowa State 13. Sadness throughout the land. Fucking Dabo.

Purdue 48 over Tennessee 45 in OT. I'll say it: The Vols were robbed. That was a touchdown on their first possession in OT but #refsfuckupagain. Still, here we are. And many a potential sweep got buggered by probably the most disturbing mascot in the land, Purdue Pete. Woe. Misery.

Wisconsin gets their shit together and humbles Herm Edwards and the SunDevils. Badgers 20, Arizona State 13.

Graham Mertz stat line:11/15, 137 yds, 9.1 avg/completion, 1 TD and, sure, 1 INT. QBR 158.7. 😕

BroFro. 2 to go to 36. Hating on Purdue.

McLovin. 2 to make 28. Purdue not your friend.

Teeblations. 2 to go to 24. Wisconsin comes through but still; Purdue.

DTBH. 1 to go to 19. Let's move on.

Snottie. 2 to go to 36. Nuclear strike on W. Lafayette anyone?

DPo. Deuce to move up to 35. You're a B1G Ten guy. You picked Purdue. Fuck you. 👎

SockPup. 2  to make 22. Beat the shit out of a Boilermaker for Jesus.

Bo$uke. 2 to reach 22. Everybody knows how I feel about Purdue.

Ronde'. 2 to climb to 31. If you knew anything about Purdue you'd want to burn down the whole damned campus. But you don't and that's okay. Burn it anyway.

CCS. 2 to go to 19. A sweep would have helped you. You can blame fucking Purdue Pete for your continuing misfortune. 

Bronita. 2 to reach 47. Bent over a chair by a certain Boiler named Purdue Pete. Ouch.

QXXX. 1 out of three to "reach" 19. Do you and Seannie have functioning carbon monoxide detectors?

Lola. Missed the first game. Split the second two. You hate Purdue. Purdue hates you. You have 42.

Kitten. 1 out of 3. Total 33. West Lafayette is in Indiana. So I blame you for Purdue. Douchebag.

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Final Round: National Championship

 

GG Final Round: National Championships

Kirby Smart/Alec Baldwin brings the Georgia Bulldogs to Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana, for a showdown with his perennial nemesis the Alabama Crimson Tide, in the CFP National Championship presented by AT&T.*

Once again, McLovin has positioned himself as the unlikely Locus Of Evil down the stretch in our beloved BRFL contest. 

No, fuckers, I haven't done the math. But since Ronde's Runnin' Rebs took the douche vs. Baylor there is probably, dare I say it, a statistical probability that the Lovin could take The Cheese with a win here on Monday night. 

I know, I know. Perish the thought. Imagine a night of gourmet dining, under the Tiki lights @ 30 Fair, ruined by being forced to swallow McLovin's victory farts. I don't like it. You don't like it. And the American People don't like it.

But it could happen.

The cruelest cut is that we, BRFL Brothers and Sisters, can't wish that it WON'T happen. To do that would be to tacitly support Nick Saban.

Which is something we simply cannot do.

So, roll the bones, Compadres.

And let there finally be an end to it.

*Remember, if you get this one right you bag 3 points. 

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowl-a-rama, Round 2 Results

 GG Bowl-a-rama Round 2 Results

December 28th: Houston over Auburn 17 -13 in a bitterly contested contest in Birmingham. Hard to tell the two teams apart from the stat sheet. Somebody had to lose. This time it was Auburn. 

December 28th: Air Force 31, Louisville 28. Air Force comes out...throwing. And never stops. Haaziq Daniels (!?), the Air Force signal-caller, goes 9/10 for 252 yds and 2 TDs. BRFL alumnus Marty Ryan said it best when he said, "Never bet against a Service Academy".

December 29th: Maryland violates Virginia Tech 54 - 10. An absolute ass-hammering of the Hokies by a Terps squad that was just, basically, not fucking around. 

BroFro: 1 to go to 34 and an extremely poor showing, I must say. 

McLovin: 0. Shut out. Somebody is not so smart. Total 26.

Teebs: 0. None right. I wasn't aware of your prior history of serious head trauma. Tough luck, Punchy. You have 22.

DTBH: 0. Shut out. Neurodegenerative disorders are nothing to laugh about but, in your case, I'll make an exception, Retard. Ha ha ha. Cling to your puny 18 points, Drooler.

Snottie: 0. Skonked. What's it like to be a loser whom nobody can stand? Total 34.

DPo: 1. One. So boring. You have 32.

SockPuppet: SWEEP! 5 to go to 20. Way to go, "Billy".

'Bo$uke: SWEEP! 5 to go to 20. No surprise here. 'Bo$uke is widely acknowledged as a fucking genius.

Ronde': 1. Are you still in this thing? You have 29, AssCheese.

CCS: 0. Zero. As in, 'you are pathetic'. You have 17. Your redeeming quality is that you sacked up and bet the ranch. But that's it. There are no other redeeming qualities when it comes to you. 

BroniePonieBoy: 2 to go to 43. Missed the Auburn game which is excusable. No arguing with dominance.

QXXX: 1 to go to 18. Jesus, Mary and Joseph but this has NOT been your year. 😟

Lola: SWEEP! There's no quit in this Bitch. Bronita is soiling his undies. 5 to go to 41. Uh-huh.

Kitten. 1. God. You sad fucker. Total 32. Why do I bother?

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life