AP Poll Cometh

 AP Poll drops Monday, AssHats.

Jimbosuke

BRFL Poaches NFL Playoffs

BRFL Poaches NFL Playoffs.

Beer me.

In what amounts to an amazing fucking coincidence there are 14 teams that make the NFL playoffs. 

Harken unto me, Plebians; the best team in each conference gets a fucking bye for week one. What's that? That's 2 teams. Then each conference plays three fucking games in the first round. 6 teams, wild-card and division champs. Times 2, what the fuck is that? 12 teams. Plus the two. Fucking 14. 

How many members in the BRFL? Fucking right! Fucking 14. 

On the Monday AFTER the last fucking Sunday of the NFL regular season we see where the BRFL membership stands, AP poll wise. 

Last place picks first. First place picks fucking last. Ties determined by a coin flip. 

Last BRFLer standing fucking wins the whole cheese. Second place is for losers. 

Prize? 140 bucks. 10 fucking bucks from each BRFLer. You want to make it more? Fuck yeah. Bring it. Let me know how you feel, Fuckwits. I can make it more. I can do whatever I want.

Fucking Venmo me your money. Everyone's in. Fuck it. 

Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life

BRFL Season Fourteen

 Attention BRFLers.

We are having a season. The Draft will commence as soon as the AP Poll comes out. 

Here is the Draft Order, first to last:

1. SockPuppet
2. Killer Bee, aka Obama, aka Lola
3. Snottie
4. DPo
5. BroFro (there was a tie with Kitten. Coin flip taps you #6, Bro)
6. Kitten, no bitchin'
7. Ronde'
8. CCS
9. DogTheBountyHunter, aka SeaGra
10. Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life
11. Teeblations
12. KBronieMan/Woman
13. McLovin
14. QXXX

Ima throw this out there and it's possible we  might lose a few players. It's been a couple years and, no, there's no party this year. The Commissioner, God Bless Him and Keep Him and Shower Good Fortune Upon Him, has had some health issues and is hobblin' around like a shot dog. Is he happy about it? Fuck no. But that's a story for another day.

Like I sez, Ima throw this out there to youse guy's emails since I know a lot of you assholes are blog-averse and if I hear from you that you want in, great. You're in. If I don't hear from you? Then fuck you, you're out. You can take a year off if you want. Shit, you can take the rest of your life off for all I give a shit. Just let me know if you're in. 

Same rules as ever. You don't understand them so what's the difference? If we have the right number of players, the Commissioner, May He Be Anointed With Fragrant Oils, is going to incorporate a relatively low stakes NFL playoff side hustle this year. As soon as DPo tells me how to do it. 

If you're in, start your research. Get yourself squared away. See attached rule book. Now get the fuck out of here.

Jimbosuke,

Commissioner for Life

Catching up with the Commish

 

Stay classy, Texas.

A strange season rolls on. Alabama suddenly can't play defense. Notre Dame is undefeated. Florida looked like world-beaters until their defense imploded. Pity KBronie who has longed for an offense to go along with Florida's strong defense for several years. Now this. 

Big 10 play starts this weekend. Something seems inherently unfair about this. Whereas the Big 12 and the ACC have been putting on shit-show after shit-show for weeks the B1G has been practicing their asses off doing things like, oh, live tackling. Real blocking. Scrimmaging. We'll see what the quality of play is like. 

So, yeah, unfortunately we need to talk  money. 

"In these difficult times' many of the BRFL Faithful have lost track of their debts. I've had questions from them about how much they owe, which makes my life a lot easier. So here's the rundown:

Everybody who won money has been paid.

Those who lost money: 

1. BroFro $10 Paid cash
2. Kitten $10 Paid Venmo
3. DPo $70 Paid BJ
4. Snottie $130 Paid PayPal
5. Obama $160
6. SkHank $235
7. SockPuppet $325 Paid check

That's the story. Get me your dough when you can. Checks are fine. PayPal. Cash. Randy always on my shit about Venmo, I have an account but don't understand it. 

I don't think I'll recap any of the fucked up games from last week. I will say that Mike Leach, yes, that Mike Leach's day in the sun in the SEC was pretty short-lived. KJ Costello, his QB, tossed 6 INTs, I think 2 were pick sixes. So much for the Air Raid Offense. 

Friendly UK LB helps Costello keep track of his picks.

No clue what will happen this week. 

BTW, BRFL World Headquarters mailing address is:

30 Fair Street

Cooperstown, NY 13326

Good tidings, BRFLers,

Jimbosuke

Commissioner for Life

Weird Season Week 4

Without Joe they kind of blow.

 Greetings, Brothers and Sisters.

It's week 4 and what have we learned? Well, one thing I've learned is that sportscasters hyping up their delivery like they just pulled their faces out of a dinner plate covered 4 inches deep in blow doesn't make up for not having fans in the stands. "Holy SHIT, Irv. That punt travelled FIFTY YARDS in the air!!! I need another bump, Irv!" 

It's just not the same.

Oklahoma. Their DC, who got a 400K pay raise after last season, got flamed by a depleted, Covid-infested KState squad. That's two years in a row. Well, last year they didn't have Covid, but still. Here we are. This masked man is Lincoln Riley, the head man, who will definitely have to pull something magical out of his ass to make the playoffs this year and justify his 9.5 million annual paycheck. Hard times in Norman.

"What was your cousin the realtor's number, Honey?"

Mike Leach. Yes. That Mike Leach, and Mississippi State make their SEC debut by air-raiding the fuck out of reigning National Champion LSU. Bad days on the bayou. 

 

And Texas isn't that great. OT win over TTech. Who coaches TTech? Name one player on TTech. I can't either. Hook 'em horns? Meh. Oh, Department of Pettiness: Please note, when I write of Texas I write with some considerable personal animus. Not only do they have two notorious douchebag ex-TOSU coaches (the head man, Tom Herman, a five-star asshole, but now also Chris Ash, late of the Rutgers HC job, who is the defensive coordinator and not feeling so great today) but they are arch recruiting rivals with TOSU. Here is Bijan Robinson, a freshman RB recruit, who Texas beat TOSU out for.  If he's going to keep doing shit like that, well, he's all yours, Texas.

Wait, what about Florida? Holy Shit. Playoffs much? Curb stomping of Ole' Miss. But, WTF, Emory Jones? 1 for 3 for 30 yds and an INT? Another much sought after TOSU recruit who chose Florida. Luckily they don't seem to need him. Happy days at Casa Komronovich.

Keep it real, Friends,

Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life

The B1G is Back

 

Joe Milton got game.

 

Wait. What? The B1G is going to play? Well, that was a long run for a short slide. Dabo didn't waste any time being an asshole. So Dabo. Dumbo, it's not about you. It's about Meechy. And TOSU. And Oklahoma. And Texas. Auburn and Alabama and LSU, the team that whipped your ass last year in the final. Does Clemson play N. Carolina this year? That could be an "L" for the Tiggers. Stay classy, Dilbo. 

It's great to be back. 

Jimbosuke

Commissioner for Life

NOT SO FAST, my Friend.

• "So,you're saying there's a chance?"

Jimbosuke,

Commissioner for Life

Opting out

 

                  

And they have begun to drop like flies. 

First, Micah Parsons, one of the best LBs in College Football. Until he wasn't because he is opting out on the 2020 Covid season. Say good-bye, Happy Valley. 

Hey, Purdue, counting on Rondale Moore eviscerating Ohio State again this year, like he did in 2018? NOT SO FAST, my Friend. Rondale is opting out. (This one's a head scratcher but, hey, Purdue is going to suck this year.)

How do you think Mike Locksley, the Maryland coach, feels? His starting QB and 5 other guys are opting out. 

This season is rapidly developing into a shit show of Biblical proportions. 

Penn State will play home games in front of...nobody. 

Ohio State and scUM will play October 24, if the season lasts that long. Maybe at 3:30 so the game ends under the lights.

And Jim Harbaugh is already being a little Bitch about The Game.

What's wrong with this picture? Look to the right. Those are cleats. Jordans, to be specific, a brand Evil scUM has a contract with. It is commonly held that Harbaugh never takes his cleats off. When he's on the plane he wears cleats. When he's in the locker room - cleats. He lost a 5 star O-line prospect because he made his in-home visit wearing...cleats. 

Keep it weird, Jimmy. Always.

Jimbosuke, 

Commissioner for Life

Make Believe

See this guy? He's Caleb Farley, the Virginia Tech cornerback who is ranked the #1 cornerback prospect for the 2021 NFL draft.
Here's a question for you. Do you think Caleb is going to suit up for the Hokies this year?*
(Answer at the end of this post).

Here's a little something from elevenwarriors a few days ago.

NOT SO FAST, my Friend. Here's an article from today's Wall Street Journal.

And then we have this desperate nonsense. I mean really.

Personally, I don't see a college football season happening this year. Honestly? I don't think it should. Everybody talks about how, when young people get Covid it "doesn't affect them much". Except when  it does. There have been many articles and interviews with college athletes who have had Covid and they often say it is months before they get their stamina back and some still haven't. So, as we know, this is all about the TV contract money, the money that home games throw off (though, really, how much will that be? Ohio State is going to put only 20% of the asses they usually put in the Shoe for home games).

So, I've talked to some BRFLers. I'm the Commissioner for God's sakes.
The question is, do we pause the BRFL and bag this season? This season which promises to be a shit show and where the results will be based on, basically, the same  odds as those of throwing a dart at a board blind folded and nailing the bullseye?

I vote we bag it. So do Randiddle, McLovin, BroFro and KBronie.

Let me hear from you.

And, also, let  me see your checks so people can get paid.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

* and the answer is fuck no! Caleb's not playing. At all. Are you crazy?

It doesn't look good.

Shit be getting real. This is a bad, bad sign. And it turns out you can't pick Yale this season, even if you wanted to. I had not heard that people were even considering bumping the season to Spring 2021, which I still don't think would work because I doubt we'll have an effective vaccine even by then.
But, and much more importantly for us, that would be a nightmare scenario BRFL draft since many players eligible for the 2021 NFL draft would doubtless skip the college season.
While there are coaches and administrators who still don't get it the evidence for cancellation of this season is adding up. The last I heard the BIG had trimmed back to a "conference only" season which is a pop-corn fart away from a "no games" season.
To be honest, when I first started hearing about this "novel coronavirus" I wasn't that impressed. And now? It's weird. We've kind of become almost used to it. Until you get reminded of the depth of the fallout even at places like Stanford.
In the end the fallout from this (cancelled) season is going to be bigger than most of us imagined. For everyone who got fat off the NFL's unpaid feeder system that was and is college football, the convergence of Black Lives Matter and College Football (um, Black players)/Covid 19 is bound to shake things up.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Cue the Somber Music

This is a picture of Shaun Wade, arguably Ohio State's best DB, getting ejected from the Clemson game. This was a travesty of replay justice. But I headline this little BRFL missive with this picture to illustrate how quickly situations can change.

There will be no BRFL payout at 30 Fair Street this year.
Without putting too fine a point on it the Virus is just too frightening.

Most, if not all, BRFLers have grandchildren and/or frail, elderly parents.
Last night Denise and The Commissioner entertained, outdoors, our next door neighbors. And while it was fun it was also a complete Covid shit show. By the time we adjourned, everybody was drunk and hugging and had been having 12 inch distancre face to face "discussions" for hours. Not to mention the shared tasty treats.

Several BRFLers (Komronovich, Obama, Mrs. CCS, etc.) have seen the Virus up close and personal. I think the consensus of opinion would be that the best thing that can happen to you if you get it is to die.
So the Commissioner, in a disturbing turn towards mature decision making, is pulling the plug on the Jambo. Maybe we can virtualize something. I'll work on it. You fuckers still have to pay up so we can make the winners whole. But as far as getting together, with the attendant hugging and kissin'? No. Not going to happen.

Your thoughts?

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Strange Days

Well...uh...more bleak college football news rolling in.
Still, let's focus on the pay out.

I'm thinking August 15th, the latest possible date.
I think the last time we did this we had Lucy Townsend's outfit cater. Basically Lucy did it herself. And it was awesome.
Need some input from the group about what they feel comfortable with.
Do you guys feel comfortable getting together? Denise and I do. I know McLovin is in. We can sort of distance, have families sit together. Work out something with the serving of the food. Wear HazMat suits. Bottled oxygen.
Open to suggestion.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

The BRFL must Represent

Your Commissioner is very skeptical that we will be seeing college football this fall. At all. If we do see it, then brace yourself for something weird. The stands are going to look like, well, I guess a Trump rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma.



There will be a fan "sound track" for those nail biting 4th and goal plays. About half the band at the game. I mean, my God, they're talking about socially distancing Script Ohio. See how I didn't put quotation marks around socially distancing? That's because I've become so accustomed to this jack-ass phrase. And that's pretty alarming all by itself. Socially distancing is now a ridiculous verb that is just sort of accepted.

From a gambling standpoint, uh...wow.

You could pick Clemson or Ohio State and they could run the table for five games and look like world beaters and then BOOM Covid 19 hit's the campus hard and your #1, 2 and 3 running backs are in the ICU, your D line is wearing portable oxygen, your coach is on the ventilator. Do we really want to make the person who picks Clemson start 10 points in the hole? It's all so confusing.
Still.
Here we are.
And the BRFL must Represent.
I'm tilling the soil and preparing for our usual blow out pay out. Not that I'm ignoring "these difficult times" but let's look at all the things we, the BRFL membership, have going for us;

Plenty of parking in Cooperstown in high summer. (Fuck you, Derek Jeter).
A ridiculous number of sunny days thus far.
Our first female Champion of Champions.
Masks! Get creative. Or not.
For once we get to brag about 1) living in NYState and 2) our Governor. These are special times.
This year's draft is already the Story of the Year. NY State has the absolute lowest virus transmission rate in the country. Could this be the University of Buffalo's year? Would Rutgers be a crazy pick? Would it? U Conn? Yale? Boola boola!

I'm looking at August 1 or August 15, whichever is worse for Snottie.
No rule changes. Including Bet The Ranch.

If the season gets cancelled I'll mix up some Kool Aid and we can all drink it together at the same time.
If the season starts and gets cancelled the winner is whoever is ahead at the time.
If the season gets suspended we put the BRFL on pause until it resumes.

Personally, I'm pretty jacked.



Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

The BRFL adapts to social disorder

Take THAT, tax-payer.

Greetings from Columbus, Ohio!

Yes. Oh, yes.
Pandemic.
Social disorder.
I read a disturbing article (also an overlong article, but still) about the Boogaloo movement.
Now I  know what all those Hawaiin shirts at Stewart's were all about.

Trying times, Brothers and Sisters.

Apparently there will be college football this year.Though it promises to be pretty weird.  Maybe a late start? Social distancing makes every game look like Alabama v the Citadel in Tuscaloosa near the end of the fourth quarter?
I don't know.
The Omniscient Commissioner is having a really hard time wrapping his massive cerebrum around this.
But I am concerned.
Admitting a fuck-up here (rare for someone as genius-level as the Commissioner).
Should NOT have skipped the payout last year. Remember; Skipped 'cause of our new puppy who was, let's just say, a "biter".

 Still. A few wounds, easily bound. We could have honored CCS and his win with...Alabama? Clemson? I forget.
Yet, sure, it was a bad call. After further review, I should have doubled down on the hydrogen pyroxide, bandages and tetanus shots and just called the fucking caterer. Who knew?

Now we are really in the shit.
NY State has an ever-shifting menu of what is allowed and what is not allowed thanks to our ( "I only want to be the Governor of New York" ) Governor.
Travel is complicated. (Imagine "Timmy!", who is probably, right now, sitting down at the baccarat table in an all-nude Casino in Macau, showing up at the BRFL shindig with a nasal swab still sticking out of his nose?).
Even I, so like a God, don't really know what to recommend.

Rest assured, or as the case maybe, less than totally panicked, that Your Commissioner is STILL THINKING ABOUT IT. That may not sound like a big deal but be not afraid, Plebian, Your Commissioner considers this  a VERY big deal indeed.

More details after I talk it over with The Man Upstairs,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

BRFL, post-virus apocalypse.

I'm not having fun.

And you probably aren't either. 

Scuttling down the alley to the liquor store at noon, wearing a mask. 

Sleeping 10 hours a day. 

Spraying down tomatoes with Lysol, then eating them.

Caring deeply about inane posts on Facebook from people you barely know. 

Sad. 

Don't even talk to me about "social distancing". 

You're supposed to stay 6 feet away from everybody when you're not at work, but if you're an essential worker you can jump into a pig-pile like it's fourth and goal from the one. 

Nutty.

But, hey, we, the BRFL membership, have bigger fish to fry. 

We have to figure out how we keep our beloved league going through "these difficult times" (tired of hearing that much?). 

Fear not, Brothers and Sisters. 

The Commissioner is hard at work. 

Actually, not. 

The Commissioner works doing lot of shit that his insurance company would take a very, very dim view of. And then he goes home and crawls into his safe, quiet place and thinks dark thoughts until the booze takes over and he "falls asleep".

 But that's not your  problem. That's the Commissioner's problem. For the Commissioner there are twelve steps. Or something. But YOU deserve better.

So.

Soon's the Commissioner can figure out whether we're at stage 1 or stage 4 or whatever the fuck they are talking about on the news (which comes on alarmingly late according to the Commissioner's Happy Hour Schedule 2020) we'll be scheduling our pay-out blow-out. If there is to be no college football season this year (shudder) well...I don't know what we'll do. Ritual suicide? Not ruling that out. But the more pressing issue is that we are two parties down right now. HIstorically speaking. We haven't recognized CCS for his 2018 win and we haven't crowned Q for an impressive 2019 campaign. 

So party we must. 

And party we will.   

Until then, never forget what an asshole Dabo Swinney is. Never. Forget.

And enjoy a few of my favorite things.

Yours sincerely,

Jimbosuke,

Commissioner for Life.