Search This Blog

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Weird Season Week 4

Without Joe they kind of blow.


 Greetings, Brothers and Sisters.

It's week 4 and what have we learned? Well, one thing I've learned is that sportscasters hyping up their delivery like they just pulled their faces out of a dinner plate covered 4 inches deep in blow doesn't make up for not having fans in the stands. "Holy SHIT, Irv. That punt travelled FIFTY YARDS in the air!!! I need another bump, Irv!" 

It's just not the same.

Oklahoma. Their DC, who got a 400K pay raise after last season, got flamed by a depleted, Covid-infested KState squad. That's two years in a row. Well, last year they didn't have Covid, but still. Here we are. This masked man is Lincoln Riley, the head man, who will definitely have to pull something magical out of his ass to make the playoffs this year and justify his 9.5 million annual paycheck. Hard times in Norman.

"What was your cousin the realtor's number, Honey?"

Mike Leach. Yes. That Mike Leach, and Mississippi State make their SEC debut by air-raiding the fuck out of reigning National Champion LSU. Bad days on the bayou. 



 

And Texas isn't that great. OT win over TTech. Who coaches TTech? Name one player on TTech. I can't either. Hook 'em horns? Meh. Oh, Department of Pettiness: Please note, when I write of Texas I write with some considerable personal animus. Not only do they have two notorious douchebag ex-TOSU coaches (the head man, Tom Herman, a five-star asshole, but now also Chris Ash, late of the Rutgers HC job, who is the defensive coordinator and not feeling so great today) but they are arch recruiting rivals with TOSU. Here is Bijan Robinson, a freshman RB recruit, who Texas beat TOSU out for.  If he's going to keep doing shit like that, well, he's all yours, Texas.

Wait, what about Florida? Holy Shit. Playoffs much? Curb stomping of Ole' Miss. But, WTF, Emory Jones? 1 for 3 for 30 yds and an INT? Another much sought after TOSU recruit who chose Florida. Luckily they don't seem to need him. Happy days at Casa Komronovich.

Keep it real, Friends,

Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life




3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You can drink AND watch college football! Works for me.

      Delete
    2. Heck Yeah, Drank the newish Crown Royal Vanilla and Coke with Chase-Man this weekend and we almost thought we saw real fans in the stands, well, kind of, and anti-socially distanced of course.

      Delete