BRFL Week 14: Earthquake in Stillwater.

Earthquake in Stillwater, Oklahoma this morning. Just wait 'til Saturday night.
Check out the Herbie bug eyes. " Is that an earhquake in my pants or am I just glad to see me?"

BRFL Week 14:

The Citadel @ #7 Clemson. Noon. Saturday. Snottie domination.
Michigan State @ Northwestern. Noon. The Chipn'Sparty train keeps a rollin'.
Virginia @ Miami. Noon. Too close to call. BFD. Randy doomsday scenario.
#21 Louisville @ Memphis. Gammajamma/Teddy Bridgewater bromance.
#12 Texas A&M @ #22 LSU. Tigers open a can of whoop-ass on Johnny Suckballs, Timay! 3:30
#19 Wisconsin @ #25 Minnesota. A good game in the BiG. Not a great one. 3:30
#17 Arizona State @ #14 UCLA. ClemboSlice vs. the Evil Sun Devil. Kill, Clem. Kill. 7:00
Kentucky @ Georgia. McLovin' playin' for the McLovin' of the game. 7 PM
#4 Baylor @ #10 Oklahoma State. Put your faith in God and Art Briles, Jimbosuke. 8 PM
#23 USC @ Colorado. DBlow's resurgent Trojans bending over the Buffs. 9:30 PM
Boise State @ San Diego State. Q woman looking for bowl eligibility. 10:30 PM

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG week 14, Gridiron Gotterdamerung

Nope. Now this is how you kick a field goal. Note #9 Drew Dileo, the slot receiver/holder who was, like, in the end zone with 10 seconds left. 

Northwestern, meet dagger. Dagger, this is Northwestern.


Bitcheremos:

#12 Texas A&M @ #22 LSU. Crazy Les Miles v Johnny FootLong. 3:30 Sat. CBS
#17 Arizona St @ #14 UCLA. Sun Devils v ClemboSlice. 7 PM FOX
#4 Baylor @ #10 Oklahoma State. Big12 showdown in Stillwater. 8 PM abc

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep.

Jimbosuke
Commissioner for Life

Week 12 BRFL - Randream and McThornream Take It in the Wrong Hole

Current Standings		Pts
Commish		47
Chip		29
Clem		23
Chuckie		23
Scott		21
Timmy!		16
Randidler		13
Paul		9
Drew		9
Sean		5
Q-Love		-4
McStool		-15

I feel good. Gettin' diddled will do that to a fella. USC upsets Stanford, which only the Commish saw coming -and his addle-minded sibling who was just farting around with his picks, and emerges from the primordial Kiffin ooze at 23 in the AP. Nice. That's 8 points if you are keeping track at home. Now tied with Pubefro, which I find totally embarrassing and unacceptable. What could be better? McThornbody's thornhole just got embiggened by another AP reaming, losing to Auburn in the most sphincter clenching way. The second ream is always easier. Actually, it's not. I was just kidding. You are losing a lot of money. I mean, let me try to quantify your suckiness. It's like... nope. I can't. I really can't picture how bad this is for you. 

Remember how we thought Randream was hot shit for his Miami pick? No? Me neither. Bitch got reamed. 

MSU wins, but I'm not impressed, and neither should you be, Discharge. Check this out. Louisville wins and drops. Two spots. Two!  Sweet. UCLA wins and drops again. Virginia Tech on the rim of the top 25 and Pubefrom loses the sweet Mo. Done.

GG Week 13 Results: Commissioner, so like a God.

GG Week 13, PickleSmoochers:

One sweep, a certain "Jimbosuke" with the trey. Give him his 5. Locked up with ClemboSlice for third @ 29. Hah-cha-cha!
DBlow nets 2, moves up to 36. Threatening the BroFo'.
BroFro disaster plan weekend: Hokies douche and he nets a measly 1 on GG. Holdin on: 38.
ClemboSlice, tied with the Stud despite filing a big, fat fucking goose-egg this weekend. 0. 29.
SeaGra. Zero. Horrible. 28.
Snottie. 1. Cell mates with Seannie. 28.
McStool. 2. Big NutSack on the USC pick, Bro'. You have 26.
CCS. 1 for you. 25, TextMonkey.
SockPup. 1. 22. Consistently mediocre.
Timay. 0. No show. 20. Ask your accountant if you can make your GG money a charitable deduction.
Randude. 1. 19. Suffering is the path to enlightenment.
Q. 0. No show. 25. Waiting to make your move? Clue time: it's week 13.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Here Comes the Duke, GG Week 13.

S'right. Duke. Featured on GG, Week 13.

#12 Oklahoma State @ #24 Texas
#23 Miami @ Duke
#5 Stanford @ USC

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep. Got nutz? Pick USC.

Let's go Preview side, Week 13:

Georgia Tech @ #8 Clemson. Thursday, 7:30. No, I don't give a shit if that's a BCS rank or an AP rank.
Clemson with the old fashioned beat down. Happy Days, Snottie.

Washington @ #13 UCLA. Friday, 9 PM. Earth to ClemboSlice. Come in, Slice.
Bruins with the win over the hapless Huskies. Smile, Sailor.

Indiana @ #22 Wisconsin. Saturday @ 12. Hoosier/Badger bugger-fest. Hate 'em both.
Wisky gets the W over suckee long-time Hoosiers. BFD. 

Maryland @ VTech. 12:30. BroFro waitin' on the diddle.
Gonna' be waiting a while on that diddle, I guess. Maryland upsets the Pokies, BroFro doomed.

#25 Georgia @ #7 Auburn. Those no drop points were fun while they lasted, McLovin'. 3:30.
McLovin' you deserve better. Knock the ball DOWN, Dufus DB for Georgia. DOWN.

#16  MSpartyU @ Nebraska. Bo "My Brother is a Crack Head" Pellini must die. 3:30
Mark D'Antonio never sleeps. He shits Nebraska out his ass like yesterday's sausage. 

#23 Miami @ Duke. 3:30, the Hour of the Apocalypse, Randude. PeptoBismol truck on call for you.
The Hour of the Apocalypse is nothing to fuck with, Homies. Duke rides a white horse. 

Texas Tech @ #4 Baylor. God bless the Commissioner and his Massive Awesomeness. 7 PM.
Kliff Kingsbury: PickleSmoocher. Die, Bitch.

Houston @ #20 Louisville. Uh-oh, Graham-zo. 7 PM.
Cardinals pull one out of their asses.

#5 Stanford @ USC. Cardinal looking past the Troymen? Two words: Trap. Game. 8 PM.
What do I know? I'm just the fucking Commissioner for Life is all. USC 20, Assholes 17.

Wyoming @ Boise State. QLove loves having the Cowboys at home. Beatdown. Diddle? Not. 10:15 PM.
Boise slams a little BrokeBack Mountain shit to the Cowboys. W for the SpudFarmers.

Texas A&M has a bye. Johnny Football stops in College Station bar for quick blow and go. Arrest follows.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 12, Sweeps Denied

In case you missed the game, here is Baylor dismantling Oklahoma.
What does it mean?
Oklahoma actually kind of sucks, so maybe it don't mean a thing.
Or maybe the Bears are for real? We'll see. Tough games ahead.

GG.
No sweeps thanks to a Michigan Mega-Douche.

BroFro world domination continues: Picks up one, 37.
DBlow grabs 1, second place at 34.
ClemboSlice loves third place. adds one, 29.
Seannie Graham picks up one, 28.
Snottie adds one, 27.
Qlove, picks up a deuce, 25.
Massive log jam @ 24: McLovin' with 2, CCS with the 2, Jimbosuke, a deuce.
SockPuppet slams home the goose-egg again, 21.
Timay! the no show nets him zero. 20.
Randude almost sweeps, 2 puts him at 16.

I feel compelled to point out that Randiddle and Jimbosuke were the only two Stud-Bolts wise enough to pick Stanford over that false God, the Oregon Ducks. And QLovin' and McStool were the only ones to pick 'Braska. That's got to hurt a little, DPo.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Week 11 - McThornbody Diddled on the Bottom

Commish		44
Chip		26
Clem		23
Chuckie		20
Randidler		19
Scott		18
Timmy!		14
Paul		9
Sean		6
Drew		1
Q-Love		-5
McStool		-10

Diddle for McStool after Georgia beats down Appalachian State. Meanwhile, BroFro's Chokies beat Randream's Hurricanes in Miami and get no lovin'. At least it was a 10 point drop for the soon to be reamed Reamdiddle.

Chip-n-Sparty is moves into second behind the almighty Commish. Expect Lacavapalooza to be a blowout next summer. Clem is barely hanging on to third.

Bottom three are the usual suspects, Stud Muffin, Q and McStink. But you can see that for yourself.

Death-Fest, Week 12

Amigos and Amigas!

Week 12:

#10 Oklahoma @ Baylor #6.  7:30 Thursday. Big 12 Armageddon
Baylor 41, Okie 12. Bryce Petty making a Heisman statement f'sure.

#3 Oregon @ Stanford #5.  9 PM Thursday. PAC 12 Gotterdamerrung.
Oregon Tree'd again. Dux almost pull it out at the end. Suddenly, Les Miles is MY MAN!

Louisville @ UConn  8:30 Friday. SeaGra Redemption Song.
UConn goes to 0-8 and Louisville bags a W. What a waste of Teddy Bridgewater.

App. State @ Georgia 12:30 Saturday. McHatin'.
Didn't exactly dominate early on, McLove. Yet, you diddle. Where's the justice?

USC @ California 3:30  Saturday. DBlow Deathfest.
Ass-hammering the Golden Bears, DBlow? Ed Orgeron is your God.

Mississippi State @ Texas A&M 3:30 Saturday. Johnny washed up.
Out scoring another mediocre opponent. Johnny 2 time Heisman? I think so.

BYU @ Wisconsin #24. 3:30. How are you pussies ranked, Sock? Mormons kill your buzz.
Wisky rolls on. Mormania not an issue.

Virginia Tech @ #11 Miami. 7 PM. With other choices, you gave VT the nod, Bro Fro. Live with it.
Sooprise, sooprise, sooprise, Goober. Miami goes over a cliff and BroFro gets off life support.

#19 UCLA @ Arizona. Go, ClemboSlice.
UCLA looks shaky in a "win" over the anti-Chirst, RichRod. Worrisome, ClemboSlice. Right the ship, Bitch.

Jimbosuke.
Commissioner for LIfe

GG Week 12, Yer Blues, Fucker.

GG week 12:
Thursday, 7:30 PM: #10 Oklahoma @ #6 Baylor
Thursday, 9 PM. #3 Oregon @ #5 Stanford
Saturday, 3:30 PM Nebraska @ Michigan

1 for a win, sweep all three, get 5.

Deal.

Jimbosuke.

Enjoy possibly the greates music video of all time.

Week 10 - Chip-n-Shizzle in da House

Eric Upchurch/MGoBlog

Commish		41
Randidler		29
Chip		21
Clem		18
Scott		17
Chuckie		14
Timmy!		11
Paul		8
Sean		3
Drew		0
Q-Love		-5
McStool		-16

Commish sits this one out and retains the lead. The rest of the schedule does NOT contain Wofford, Buffalo or Louisiana-Monroe. Oklahoma next week. Five loseable games coming. I smell the ream.

Randidler with 29 in a losing "effort". Proves the 'Canes are marginal at best. I see a loss next week... and are you wondering how they'll play at Pitt November 29? Long range weather forecast calls for snow. Long range Hurricanes forecast calls for major suckage.

Chip-n-schizzle, smug bastard of smugness, manhandles the sieve-like Wolverines and their "manball" rushing stats of record negative yards. Sparty got no offense and they got no one of importance remaining on their schedule.That's what we in the bidness call being in the driver's seat.

UCLA wins but the sledding gets tougher. Potential losses for all remaining games. Including the USC game. Especially the USC game. Clem achieved maximum points; only pain and disillusionment remain.

Scott knows Clemson's best days are behind them. He knows this. He really, really knows this.OK, maybe they slip past the Citadel (the Citadel???, in November???), but two more losses are imminent.

Spooge Puppet sees the remaining schedule and sees nothing but a sea of upsets, especially when folklore trophies are at stake. And pollsters hate the BIG and want none of them to be ranked. Wisconsin gladly obliges. 

Texas A&M has Miss State, LSU and Mizzou upcoming. Remember when you thought that was a good pick, Timmay? Yeah, me neither.

BroPube gets another L this weekend. Wish we could ream him again but will probably have to wait to change the rules. Picks up a win next week against the hapless 'Canes, but loses the remainder of the season. Can we stop picking VT now, fellas?

Yeah, here's a good idea: pick a team that was in the shittiest conference that is now in the shittiest conference with the good teams removed. Because pollsters love rewarding that whole "strength of schedule thing" (insert my whiny sarcastic voice here). I'd tell Sean who Louisville is going to lose to next but have no idea what conference they are in. One more loss and you get the ream. I see two more losses coming up.

USC, baby! Nothing but upside. Likely to win out, win the conference championship and win their BCS bowl. Bold pick, Champ. Bold pick.

Boise State can't string consecutive wins together. Sorry Q, in that conference, one loss gets you unranked. You got 3. But thanks for playing.

Don't think McThornbody could get any lower. But he can try. App State is a comin'. Overlook them and you're toast. You're toast anyway, but you'd be toastier toast.Still see a diddle ahead. Then a ream.

Calling Heismaniacs

Heismaniac picks. Need 'em.

Here's how it works:

There are a shit ton of Heisman voters. Did you know that? I didn't.
Like, thousands. Let's say, 2500. Including the "public' pick that Nissan, Inc. has signed over to a bunch of drunk, Saturday afternoon, College Game Day voters. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

So, you, the BRFLer. Proceed in this way. Pick your Heisman winners. Assign them numbers of votes. Enter Ballot. Wait for results:

Example:

Jamis Winston:  1,000 1st place votes, winner, Heisman Trophy.
Johnny Manziel. 600 votes for 1st place. runner up. Heisman.
Tajh Boyd. 400 first place votes. 1st place second runner up. Heisman.

This is what I need to know from you. Who gets how many first place votes. I don't care about second and third place votes. Each Heisman voter gets to vote for second and third place but in our league we don't give a shit about that.

So, let's say we all pick the winner. The tie breaker is who got the closest to the actual number of first place votes for the winner. Shouldn't be hard to crown the BRFL Heismaniac king.

Give it a try.

I'll give you until Wednesday. If I'm the only one who votes I'm keeping the money.


Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 11 Results

Because the Commissioner knows YOU need to know:

Seannie, a near total douche-out, snags 1 on the weekend. Lame. 27.
Snott, picks up 5. 26. Meh.
McLovin', grabs a 6 pack, 22. Respectability is possible someday.
BroFro, sub par performance, 3 for the Pubemeister, still leading at 36.
Randude, horrible weekend in the BRFL. Make it a douche-pair, gets 3, total 16. Crash and burn.
QLove, 2 also. 23. How bout those Broncos?
Timay! HOLY SHIT! Timay! bags the 12. Picked every game except Oregon State. How could we all blow that game? Ed Orgeron is an SEC coach. Now that he is free of the retard Lane Kiffin he's got USC kicking ass. Huge fuck-up for everyone. Timay! instantly more likeable with 20 GG points.
ClemboSlice, 5er, 28, new life, Amigo.
Jimbosuke, 5, paltry 22 total. Laughable.
CCS, snagging 5, 23.
DPull, pockets 5, 33, threatening BroNutz.
SockSackUp, 4, mediocre total at 21. Disappointed.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

BRFL Week 10 Preview

Week 10 Preview:

USC @ Oregon State. 9 PM Friday. Troymen getting better without Lane Kiffin.
(should have bet your Troymen, DPull. Sean Fucking Mannion is officially off my Heisman list.)
Nobody's walking off with 15 points from this GG. Way to blow it, Clowns.

#24 Wisconsin @ Iowa. Noon Saturday. Big Ten head-banger.
Wisco with the W. Iowa sucks. Fucking Twerk Ferentz.

VTech @ Boston College. Noon. Suck and Suckest.
BroPube, your life is over. BeamerBall is suckball by another name.

#8 Clemson @ Virginia. 3:30 Snoozer.
Major.

#21 Michigan @ #22 Michigan State University. Wolverines dissing Sparty. 3:30
Total humiliation by Lil' Bro'. The Oline for scUM is horrible.

Georgia @ Florida. McLovin' on life suppport. Medical miracle needs to show up. 3:30
Gurley rolls and McLovin' LIVES!

Colorado @ #20 UCLA. Clembo butt-bangs the Buffs and get's back in it. 7:30 PM
Bruins bounce Buffaloes. ClemboSlice boner.

Boise State @ Colorado State.  QLove fetal position. Hnaky and sponge season on the rocks.7:30
Broncos down Colorado State. QLove ends hunger strike.

#7 Miami @ #3 Florida State. 8 PM. Glad Baylor is not playing FSU, Randle.
Noles handle Randle. FSU looking kind of invincible, except for the INTs.

UTEP @ #12 Texas A&M. 9 PM. Another triumph of SEC out of conference scheduling. Tough one.
Aggies in ritual sacrifice action vs the Miners. A laugher. Johnny Heisman?

Baylor bye.
Louisville bye.

Mmmmm. Good.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Week 9: Ron Dayne is Pissed. And He's Comin' for McLovin'

o
Commish Deadlift and Randle Randiddy separate from the pack. Not saying anything is "going on" between them. Who am I to say anything? With serious points, it is no surprise that they are both over $300 in winnings. But the throbbing meat of the schedule draws nigh. At least one if not both of these douchebags will fall back to earth in burn up in the atmosphere like Major Tom. Who is on a 2 game losing streak? Clem is on a 2-game losing streak and that's just fine by me.

Pubefro picks up the ream. Tough sledding for VT upcoming. That pick was doomed from the outset.

McStool is in record negative territory. Finger painting with his own feces on his living room wall won't help, but no point in stopping now.

Double check the point standings. Minor mishap with the BRFL Excel file required a few weeks of restoration.


Points? Points!

Commish		40
Randidler		36
Clem		15
Scott		14
Chip		13
Chuckie		11
Paul		8
Timmy!		8
Sean		2
Drew		-1
Q-Love		-6
McStool		-17

Flashin' the Benjamenz:

Commish $357

ManRandled $309

The Bearded Clem $57

Squeegeeing Windshields:

D. Poor -$135

Q Smoke Manmuscle -$195

McDestitute -$327

Positively Mediocre

Scoturd $45

Sparty Manmeat $33

Stool Puppet $9

Below the Mendoza line

Paul -$27 Timay!-$ 27 Seagrams -$99

GGWeek 10. Hot Shit.

Week 11, GG, Hot Shit.

Double up, Sluts!

USC @ #25 Oregon State. 9 PM Friday
#24 Wisco @ Iowa. Noon, Saturday
V Tech @ Boston College. Noon
#21 University of Michigan @ #22 Michigan State (aka Little Bro') 3:30, ABC
#7 Miami @ #3 Florida State 8 PM
Georgia @ Florida, neutral site, 3:30 CBS

Pick all 6, get 15 points.
Pick 5 right, get 10.
Michigan v Michigan State is worth double. 2 points. If you get this game AND 4 others, you get 12.


Each individual win is worth one, except, of course, Michigan v Michigan State.

Buckle down and get serious, Pussies.

Jimbosuke.
Commissioner for Life