Heismaniac picks. Need 'em.
Here's how it works:
There are a shit ton of Heisman voters. Did you know that? I didn't.
Like, thousands. Let's say, 2500. Including the "public' pick that Nissan, Inc. has signed over to a bunch of drunk, Saturday afternoon, College Game Day voters. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
So, you, the BRFLer. Proceed in this way. Pick your Heisman winners. Assign them numbers of votes. Enter Ballot. Wait for results:
Example:
Jamis Winston: 1,000 1st place votes, winner, Heisman Trophy.
Johnny Manziel. 600 votes for 1st place. runner up. Heisman.
Tajh Boyd. 400 first place votes. 1st place second runner up. Heisman.
This is what I need to know from you. Who gets how many first place votes. I don't care about second and third place votes. Each Heisman voter gets to vote for second and third place but in our league we don't give a shit about that.
So, let's say we all pick the winner. The tie breaker is who got the closest to the actual number of first place votes for the winner. Shouldn't be hard to crown the BRFL Heismaniac king.
Give it a try.
I'll give you until Wednesday. If I'm the only one who votes I'm keeping the money.
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
Winston 3rd Place 416 votes.
ReplyDeleteMcCarron 2nd Place 833 votes.
Mariota 1st place 1251 votes.
Is this what you are looking for?
No. Mariota 1251 1st place votes. McCarron x # of first place votes, Winston x # of first place votes. That way, if you whiff on Mariota but have a close approximation of the true (Winston) winner's first place votes, I can still crown you Hiesmaniac. Fix it, Grahamsie.
DeleteThat's not what your blog entry said. You asked for the winner and the number of first place votes. You don't, and I quote "Each Heisman voter gets to vote for second and third place but in our league we don't give a shit about that". So if we pick a winner and the tie breaker is the number of first place votes, why the fuck are you telling Seagrabber to list multiple "winners"? How did you fuck this up again. Again!!! By definitions, there is only one winner not multiple winners. Oh, you might play that Everyone's a winner in the social medicine commune you "work" at, but that shit don't fly here. Pick the winner. That's singular, Bitch. As in one. Jeebus. I'm so sick of this.
DeleteWinston 3rd Place 416 votes.
ReplyDeleteMcCarron 2nd Place 833 votes.
Mariota 1st place 1251 votes.
Is this what you are looking for?
SeaGrass, I'm putting you down for Mariota, winner, with 1251 first place votes, McCarron with 833 first place votes and Winston with 416 first place votes.
DeleteOn second thought, and after further deliberation, make it add up to 929 to satisfy DBitch.
DeleteYour beard completes me
ReplyDeleteYour beard tickles my thighs.
ReplyDeleteyour beard is gay
ReplyDeleteHeisman Winner: Marcus Mariotta, Oregon Ducks, 650 First place votes.
ReplyDeleteMariotta 650 First place votes
DeleteWinston 222
Manziel 46
Petty 6
McCarron 5
I like that.
DeleteFeather.
ReplyDeleteMy.
Bung.
Jimbosuke
Heismaniac Votes:
ReplyDeleteMarcus Mariota with 456 First Place Votes
Jameis Winston with 321 First Place Votes
Johnny Manziel with 74 First Place Votes
McLovin' gets it. Three chances to win. But Johnny's probably not toting home another trophy with 74 votes.
DeleteDuck Dynasty boys jealous of the Commissioner's Man-Beard !!
Deleteexplain this bullshit again?
ReplyDeleteJust tell me how many first place votes you think the Heisman candidates are going to get for FIRST PLACE. See McLovin's post.
DeleteMarcus Mariotta 923 votes Q
ReplyDeletemariota 66%, winston 25%, manziel 9
ReplyDeletePercentages are fine. Nice pull, BroPube.
DeleteIs it not relevant that the Commish screwed the pooch not knowing how many voters there are by pulling "Like, thousands. Let's say, 2500." votes out of his ass? The number is 929 voters, pardners. If your total first place votes cast exceeds 929, you got problems. What is stopping Jimbosucksatrules from hedging his bets and casting a vote like: Winston 500 votes, Mariotta 500 votes, Manziel 500 votes. He could win regardless of who the Heisman winner is. It is like picking both teams in the GG. More importantly, how does that guy live with himself? Care to amend the rules, Headwound?
ReplyDeleteInteresting. 929 it is. Nice pull, DBlow. Let's get those votes in by tomorrow night, Heismaniacs. If Marcus Mariota takes a giant shit against Stanford it changes everything. Oh, and by the way: Since I am the only one who interprets the picks and administers the Heismaniac rules, I think we'll be okay.
DeleteMarcus Mariota, 830 first place votes.
ReplyDeleteAJ McCarron, 50 first place votes
Bryce Petty, 29 first place votes
Johnny Manziel, 20 first place votes.
Jimbosuke
Marcus Mariota, 750 first place
ReplyDeleteJameis Winston, 100 first place
AJ McCarron, 51 first place
Johnny Manziel, 14 first place
Bryce Petty, 14 first place.
Clem
first of all where is my tee shirt?
ReplyDeleteMariota 300 first place (32.29%)
Winston 300 first place (32.29%)
Manziel 300 first place (32.29%)
Petty 300 first place (32.29%)
MacCarron 1 first place (.0010764%)
sock puppet
Are you trying to be funny here, McSuckIt?
DeleteYour tee shirt is, believe me, something I think of often.
I applaud your strategy. But your totals add up to over 929. Therefore you have until tomorrow night to square this shit away or I will toss your entry in the shit can like yesterday's sausage.
Good luck, DillProbe,
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
I like sausage, and Bears.
DeleteMariota 300 first place (32.29%)
DeleteWinston 300 first place (32.29%)
Manziel 300 first place (32.29%)
Petty 28 first place (.030%)
MacCarron 1 first place(.0010764%)
All of a sudden you're the Heisman police! wouldn't winning with a fucked up total be appropriate?
Totally appropriate, SockPup. I applaud your entry. You may have figured this little side bet out. For this year. Kudos.
DeleteScotty, no Heismanic votes? You're the defending champ. Voting ends after the opening kick off of the Oklahoma v Baylor game. Let's get on this.
ReplyDeleteSnott got these in under the wire:
DeleteJohnny Manziel 500
Jameis Winston 250
Marcus Mariota 179
Jimbosuke
Heismaniac
ReplyDeleteMariota 556 first place votes
Winston 298 first place votes
Petty 53 first place votes
Manziel 22 first place votes
ccs
Mariota is done. You are the only genius that gave Bryce Petty more than 30 votes. Dust off a shelf for that Heismaniac award, just in case, CCS.
DeleteJimbosuke
By my count, the collective brain of the BRFL picked Winston, Mariotta and Maziel as winners (Spooge Puppet picked a three-way tie). If the winner is not one of those three, what is the backup plan? Let's say Bryce Petty wins. No one picked him. Is the winner the one who gave him the most first place votes? That is the Commish. I'm sick just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteNo wait, it'd be Chip-n-Schlong. just as bad.
Delete