BRFL Week 9 Results

BRFL Week 9 Results.

This week, no fucking around. The Commissioner's life has descended into a hell-scape of extra shifts and scut-puppy chores as everybody that once thought health care was a reasonable job either quits or  has a heart attack. These are "extraordinary times", I'm told and the Commissioner has to "do more with less". 

Down and dirty, Brothers and Sisters, this is the week that was in the BRFL:

Oregon butt-rams the Buffaloes in some fucking place in Colorado 52 - 29. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and SockPuppet moves up to +17.

Iowa State bows to West Virginia U, 38 - 31, Mountaineers in Morgantown. The AP gets out the long knives. Minus 3 on the drop from AP #22 to stoogatz and then, then...the dreaded REAM! -5 more. Minus 8 on the weekend and Lola is buried deep at minus 21 total. It truly sucks to be Lola at this moment.

Utah 44 over UCLA 24 in Pasadena. What? Snottie continues to yo-yo. +1 for the win. That gets him to 0 total. Follow the light, Snottie. Step into the light. Maybe. Someday.

USC 41, Arizona 34 in wherever the hell Arizona plays. DPo claws his way to minus 10. Is it too late to salvage the season? Yes. Definitely. Way too late.

Coastal Carolina bests Troy 35 - 28. Close game. Because Coastal Carolina is not that great. Still. Here we are. BroFro picks up 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 3 scoops of love from the AP for a +5 weekend. The Bro totals out at +15. 

Cincinnati 31 at Tulane 12. This is an ass-beat, in my book. Does the AP show love? Fuck no. Still, +1 for the win and 1 for the no drop. The Kitten climbs to +21. If I have an asshole and you have an asshole and my asshole is bigger than your asshole then I shit in your litter box. I. SHIT. in YOUR Litter box. 

Ole Miss takes the 'L' in the most beautiful village on the Plains, 31 - 20. Oh, take away the pain, Lane Kiffin's smokin' hot wife. AP puts the wood to Ronde' with a minus five tumble-stumble and the Diddler drops to +27, still in the lead.

Wash U Huskies drop the Stanford Cardinal on the road at The Farm 20 - 13 and CCS gathers 1 measley fucking point unto himself to go to minus 6. Is this something to be proud of? Look within.

Iowa. Fucking IOWA. The Teeblation Wisconsin Badgers curb-stomp Iowa 27 - 7 in Madison. Holy shit does the AP love to flex a little muscle on DogTheBountyHunter's ass and it's a shrieking, pants-pissing dive of minus 10 for the Dog and he suddenly is looking at a very pedestrian +14 total. Kirk Ferentz makes millions of dollars to pull this shit every year. Sad.

TOSU trots out some truly horrible unis and gets by Penn State 33 - 24 in the Shoe. Thank God we have a kicker. Penn State cannot run the football, which is weird. But, hey, fuck Penn State. 1 for the win but the AP hates on the Buckeyes so I get screwed out of my no drop and it's a zero wash weekend. Stay at +3. Don't say a goddamned thing to me, Bitches.

Wisconsin! Chryst is risen! Teebs is born again! 27 - 7 over the Iowa Douchemasters and Camp Randall is feared again. So sad that Teeblations gets but one little, teeny-weeny point for this upset. And moves "up" to Minus 11. 

UNC with another 'L', this time to the hated Notre Dame Domers. Come ON, Bronita. At least beat Notre Dame. Where is your mojo? Your self respect? 44 - 34 you lose to those twats and you stay at minus 15. What is wrong with you?

Yawn. Georgia absolutely flays Florida in J'ville (DUUUVAL!) 34 - 7. What to say about this? Only that McLovin picks up 2 more points and now has +15 and is definitely a player. This scumbag could take The Cheese. Again. This causes me pain.

The God Posse cock-whips UMass 62 - 17. What the hell. Does UMass just tour the country getting the shit kicked out of themselves? That can't help recruiting. QXXX picks up a point for the Lord and rests at +7. Hallelujah.

Jimbosuke,

Commissioner for Life