As of June 7, 2016: Fulmer Cup Standings
| Rank | Program | Pts | Conf |
|---|---|---|---|
| (1) | Colorado | 68 | Pac-12 |
| NR | Utah State | 32 | MWC |
| (2) | Georgia | 21 | SEC |
| (3) | Kentucky | 19 | SEC |
| NR | Eastern Washington | 19 | Big Sky |
| (4) | Hawai'i | 15 | MWC |
| (5)t | Kansas | 14 | Big 12 |
| (5)t | Youngstown State | 14 | Missouri Valley |
| (7) | Coastal Carolina | 13 | Big South |
| (8)t | Alabama | 12 | SEC |
| (8)t | Auburn | 12 | SEC |
| (8)t | Miami | 12 | ACC |
Yeah, you may not have heard of it, but it is a thing. Now in its 10th year, the Fulmer Cup, named after former Tennessee coach Phil "Nothing to See Here" Fulmer, tracks the nefarious doings of college 'ballerz. Points awarded thusly:
Newcomers and veterans alike are encouraged to read the rules below to familiarize themselves with the scoring system. Any adjustments to scoring are made after the season.
| Points | Crime | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Assorted Petty Misdemeanors/Citations | |
| 2 | Underage Drinking | Rules is rules. |
| 2 | Marijuana Use/Possession | The player has to be cited for it, so this gives certain states a built-in exemption. |
| 2-4 | Domestic Violence | |
| 3-4 | Misdemeanor/Felony Assault | |
| 3-4 | Miscellaneous Felonies | |
| 3 | DUI/DWI/OWI | "Driving through houses drunk" charges may earn extra credit. |
| 3 | Possession (Non-Weed) | |
| 4 | Possession with Intent to Sell | Including just having too many drugs on you in the first place. |
| 4 | Vehicle Theft | |
| 5 | Grand Larceny | Includes theft on the level of a jewel thief - so outrageous it demands to be called 'a caper.' |
| 6-8 | Sex Crimes | |
| 9 | Bestiality | Baaaaad. |
| 15 | Attempted Murder | Partial credit for incompletion. |
| 20 | Murder | |
| 25 | Cannibalism | Bonus infraction if NCAA guidelines on portion size are exceeded. |
Any other violations are considered on an individual basis by the FCC (Fulmer Cup Committee).
Bonus points are assigned for repeat offenders, teamwork, and a variety of subjective reasoning based on flair, pizazz, stupidity or obvious point-worthiness.
The Committee has final say on all issues regarding The Fulmer Cup, its rules, awards, and interpretations. Committee members were selected by the collaborative effort of the /r/CFB Mods.
More on this esteemed ranking here.
What is sooo disturbing is why are we not wagering on this?
Wow.
ReplyDeleteI'm 100% behind this. It's like a gift from God. A benevolent God. It's not just that this sainted group of football freaks has already earned by respect by waking my ass up to Mike Gundy's mullet. It's the season that they have. From the last snap of the National Championship Game until the opening kick off of the Div 1 Season. I have NOTHING in my life for that whole period of time. Sure. There is work. Family (if I can find them after the playoffs). Re-establishing my close personal relationship with Jesus Christ. There is all that ticky-tack shit but, well, if we're being honest, isn't that just "filler" for a barren and mind-numbing off season? The big question is do we jump on this shit right now or wait to introduce it at the Pie Eating Contest? And how much? 10 bucks? Seriously I'm concerned about some of the losses this year. I saw Killer Bee (aka Bridshit) yesterday and she had a bunch of deep cuts on the back of her forearms. She also threw a chair at me. Clem also said things to me that were less than complimentary.