Monumental Fuck Up in Columbus

I'm the Commissioner and I can do what I want.
So, like, if I want to go out on a limb and make a dire prediction, I can.

And this is my prediction:

I don't know why Urbs brought Goofy Greg Schiano into the Cradle of Coaches in the first place.
He (Mr. Schiano) was a douche at Rutgers and a Catastrodouche in Tampa Bay.
Fine.
I guess they're friends.
And? And??
Like, I have friends. Not many. But I wouldn't put my career on a slow boat to China just to give them another shot at not being a douchebag.

Now this shit.

So, Urban Meyer. Listen up here. There are dozens of good defensive coordinators  out there. Many would love to make their chops at TOSU and move on to a schweet head coaching job in college or even the pros. Douchiano has had his FUCKING CHANCE in both arenas and he hasn't exactly distinguished himself. Rutgers? Tampa Bay?

Urbs, are you just not paying attention? People get really cheesed off when somebody enables Orphan Groping in Div I showers. It's upsetting. There are no winners here. There is no defence. If you even thought you heard someone yelping because someone else was trying to shove something in their hey-nanny-nanny you really have to step up and say, "hey, this doesn't go". And if there is even a chance that someone on your staff, who has been on your staff for exactly zero games, had any knowledge of this kind of thing and didn't just dime out the head coach, who was obviously all Alzheimered up already, then you just dump his ass. You call him into your office and you say, "Greg, I hope you  haven't bought a house yet. Because I am dropping your ass like you have leprosy. Goodbye."

But no. This is what you do.

And now you are screwed. Because you have tied your fate to this loser.
So, I'm going out on a limb.
This Greg Douchiano shit is what brings Urban down.

Fuck.
I hate life.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life