GG Week 2 Games

 GG Week 2 Games.

Ole Miss (#20) @ The Tulane Green Wave (#24), 3:30 PM, ESPN2.

Texas A&M (#23) @ Miami Hurricanes (UNR), 3:30 PM, ABC.

Texas Longhorns (#11) @ Alabama (#3), 7 PM, ESPN.

Roll the Bones, Brothers and Sisters.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week Zero and Week One Results

 BRFL. Week One Results

He's Keith Richards. And you're not.

Notre Dame 42 over Navy 3 in fucking Ireland. Timmy! waxes his shillegah with heavy friction. But is this a Pope-sanctioned real-deal win or is Sam Hartmann just a pussy-ass Wake Forest refugee looking to boost his non-existent draft stock? I'm just asking questions here, People.

But it's a weird 'Week One'. Let's acknowledge that. Notre Dame has already played 2 games. In Game 2 they kicked the bejesus out of Tennessee State 56 -3. And this Hartmann character went 14/17 for 194 and 2 TDs and posted a QBR of 95.9. Teebs in rapture.

Could these assholes be for real this year? Dunno'!

2 for 2 wins. 1 for the no drop (only one AP Poll came out, don't get greeedy). +3 on the move up to #10 AP. +6 is where you stand, Teeblations.

USC mauls San Jose State 56 - 28. This is a Lincoln Riley USC team. They gave up 28 points to an outmanned, overmatched San Jose State squad. Draw your own conclusions. If'n I had USC (like you do, Q ) I would find this a little unsettling. But that's just me.

San. Jose. State.

But again, 'Week One Weirdness' (how the fuck did this happen, People?). USC blisters Nevada. I  don't give a shit if it was at home or away, okay? You want the stats for Caleb Fucktard? You look 'em up. This is the second win for the Condom Club. Q thinks bad thoughts about The Commissioner, may God anoint him with oils and rub him with herbs and spices.

Start at minus 5. 2 for 2 wins. 1 for the no drop. +3 on the week, -2 for the season.

Texas 37, up top of overmatched Rice 10. Yawn. 4 quarters of ritual sacrifice in Austin. SockPuppet knows joy.

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 is your place in the universe. 

Jesus Christ on a bicycle, Lola picked #5 LSU and they were up, 17 - 14 @ the half, over Florida State in Orlando. Game over, right? No. Brian Kelley breaks out the bong and the benzos and the Bayou Bengals cough up 31 (yes, 31) unaswered points in the second half and end up getting their asses kicked 45 -24. 

Start at minus 6. Lose to FSU. Minus 9 screaming power dive in the AP. Sweet Jesus, you're at minus 15 after week 1. Oh my fucking GOD.

TexasTech gets into some kind of pervert cage-match with the Wyoming Cowboys (it's fucking Week One, Brethren!) and loses in double OT. 35 - 33, Goat Ropers. Have you been to Wyoming? There are no women there. These fuckers play with anger. BroFro puts on the HurtShirt.

Naught into naught equals naught. The 'Bro has Zero.

Oregon seal-clubs Portland State 81 - 7 in Eugene. This is why they call them 'pay-day games'. This is like a basketball score when one of the teams is in wheelchairs. Snottie rolls.

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 for the AP move up to #13. +4 total for the Ducks.

Wisconsin butt-fucks Buffalo 38 - 17. (Yes, I bolded 'butt-fucks'). They ran through these turds like shit through a tin horn. Year of the Badger? Dpo wet dream. Change the sheets.

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 for the 'Po.

Hated Clemson @ Duke. This one was worth waiting for as Duke violates the fading Clemson program 28 - 7. While it is true that Clemson did everything they could to give this game away, red-zone turnovers, an INT, blocked FG attempts, missed tackles and silly plays from ten years ago, they still got skonked by Duke leading to this. Chiba on suicide watch and it's only week 1.

Start at -2. Lose like a little bitch. -16 for the horrific slide to #25 in the AP (so close to the ream, which, had it happened, would have left suicide as your only good option), minus 16 on the week, minus 18 total. Fuck am I glad I'm not you.

Dream season, Chiba?

McLovin's beloved Buckeyes prevail, on the road, over Indiana, 23 - 3. New QB, two new OTs and a new center make for a B1GTen pucker-factor for the Lovin'. Maybe see if you can get shit straightened out against the two tomato cans you've got scheduled coming up in the next two weeks. 

Start at minus 8. Win ugly for 1. Drop 2 in the Almighty AP. Minus 1 on the week. Minus 9 total.

'Bo$$uke's Beavers are all over San Jose State, on the road, 42 - 17. Damien Martinez, 18 totes for 145 yds. The Spartans couldn't get a hand on that Beaver and yes, his name really is  Damien. Beaver Fever in Corvallis. 

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 on the move up to AP #16. Beaver lives at +4 total. 

Ole Miss trashes Mercer 73 - 7. What the absolute fuck is 'Mercer'? Joey Freshwater logs the win. KBron has a boner. 

1 for the win. . 1 for the no drop. +2 on the move up to AP #20. Ole Miss at +4.

Kansas State ass-hammers South Eastern Missouri State (?!) 45 - 0 in a pay-day instant classic. DogTheBountyHunter feels right. 

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +1 on the move up to AP #15. +3 for KSU.

 

Tulane clips Southern Alabama 37 - 17 at home. Maybe Southern Alabama is really good. Or maybe Ronde' is absolutely screwed. Dunno!

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop +2 for Tulane. 

CCS sends the Oklahoma Sooners out, at home, to humiliate Arkansas State so badly that he Ark State head coach broke down in tears (I'm not making this up) on the sidelines and had to be comforted by his players. Yes, Butch Jones squirted them over an epic ass-beat but, really? Butch. You're Arkansas State. You're SUPPOSED to lose to Oklahoma 73 - 0. Just be glad you don't have Lou Gehrig's disease.

Cry baby.

1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 for the AP move up to #18. +4, Boomer Sooner. 

See you next week. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Threat Level. Week Two.

 Threat Level. Week Two. 

McCarthy shows disturbing consistency. Donovan Edwards not so much.

Lance Herbstrong, 

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 1 Results

 GG Week One. Let's fucking go. 

Utah 24, Florida 11. In Rice-Eccles Stadium, which is a tough place to play. Especially if your QB has a QBR of 30.4 at the end of the day. Sure, 1 TD, 333 yds but...1 INT. And, for Florida? 13 total yards on the ground. That just won't do. Utah? No Cam Rising, no problem. 5 sacks, 7 TFLs, 1 INT. 

By the way, no GGer has Utah this year. 

UNC 31, SowCow 17. In Chapel Hill. There was a lot of hype around South Carolina preseason. Cocks don't deliver. Mack Brown is probably on a three nap per day rotation. 

Florida State 45 over LSU 24. 31 unanswered points in the second half. Raise your hand if you think Brian Kelley is getting paid way too much. Bayou Bengals buggered in Orlando. Lola feels sadness. 

SockPuppet: 2

Lola: 2

BroFro; 2

Timmy!: 2

Snottie: 2

DPo: SWEEP! 5

Chiba: 2

Q: 2

McLovin: 1, picking up where he left off last year.

Jimbo$$uke: 2

KBron: 1, he's hurting.

Dog: 2

Ronde': SWEEP! 5. You hate to see it.

CCS: 1. Really?!

That's it for Week 1.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

Michigan Threat Level, Week One

 This year The Commissioner (Blessings Be Upon Him) will be sharing Michigan Threat Level, for elevenwarriors.com,  an Ohio State fan-site. Why? 

BRFL Jambo September 9

Because it's too good not to share. And because nobody picked Michigan and I think they're going to win the Natty this year. 

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 1 Games

 GG Week 1 Games.

August 31: University of Florida Gators @ #14 Utah Utes. 8 PM, ESPN.

September 2: #21 University of North Carolina TarHeels @ South Carolina Gamecocks. 7:30 PM, ABC.

September 3: #5 LSU Tigers @ #8 Florida State Seminoles. 7:30 ABC

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

BRFL, Season 16.

And we're underway! 

1. SockPuppet: Texas Longhorns. AP # 12

2. Lola.: LSU Tigers. AP # 5

3. BreauxFreaux: Texas Tech. Unranked. A tip of the hat to the Breaux. 

4. Timmy!: Notre Dame. AP # 13

5. Snottie: Oregon Ducks. AP #15

6. DPo: WisconSin Badgers. AP #19

7 .ChibaChew: Clemson Tigers. AP # 9

8. Q: USC Trojans. AP # 6

9. McLovin. Ohio State Buckeyes. AP # 3

10. Jimbo$$uke. Oregon State Beavers. AP # 18

11. KBron. Ole Miss Rebs. AP # 22

12. DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas State Wildcates. AP # 19

13. Ronde': Tulane Green Wave. AP # 24

14. CCS: Oklahoma Sooners. AP # 20 

 It's season 16. Or seventeen. Not sure. 

Lance Herbstrong, 

Commissioner for Life.

BRFL 2022: The Damages

 BRFL 2022. 

The Damages. 

I  have the spread sheet for this year's contest. Damned if I can figure out how to mail it. So here are the results in old school form:

CCS: $331 BRFL Champion. Congratulations to CCS. Had scUM.

Ronde': $229. Had USC.

DogTheBountyHunter: $145. Utah. Liberace is coming home with you. 

KBron: $103: Oregon Ducks.

'Bo$uke: $89. Texas Longhorns. I was ridiculed for this pick.

Q: $19. Iowa. 

McLovin: $19. Ohio State.

Chiba: owes 51 dollars. Cincinnatti.

DPo: owes 79. Houston Cougs.

Snottie: owes 93. Wisconsin.

Breaux: owes 107. Still hasn't been paid for last year. Horrible. NC State.

Timmy!: owes 135. Michigan State.

Lola. owes 149. Notre Dame.

SockPuppet: 331 dollars. Yeah. 331 dollars. Baylor. Bruce Pinkernell Award.

That's how it went down.

See Email for my Venmo account.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life.

 

Draft Days, 2023

 Good God, the AP Poll has dropped. 

Totally blind-sided by this one, got the news from ChibaChews. 

Now I have to scramble like a little bitch and get the BRFL Draft Order out. And I haven't even sent out the $$$ damages from 2022. 

People, this has never happened before. 

2023 BRFL Draft Order:

First up, #1, SockPuppet. Texas Longhorns for Sock.

#2  Lola : LSU Tigers, starts the season at minus 6.

#3  BreauxFreaux: Texas Tech 

#4  Timmy!: Notre Dame, I'm serious.

#5  Snottie: Oregon Ducks

#6  DPo: Wisconsin Badgers

#7  ChibaChew: Clemson Tigers, starts the season at minus 2.

#8  Q (Coin flip with McLovin, you won): USC Trojans, starts the season at minus 5.

#9  McLovin: repeating with the Buckeyes of Ohio State, starts the season at minus 8.

#10  Jimbo$$uke / Lance Herbstrong: Oregon State Beavers.

#11  KBronieBoy takes Ole Miss and Joey Freshwater.

#12  DogTheBountyHunter: Kansas State Wildcats

#13  Ronde': Tulane Green Wave

#14  CCS: Oklahoma Sooners

"There's a killer on the road.

His brain is squirmin' like a toad.

Take a long holiday.

Let your children play."

                 - Jim Morrison

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL 2022, The Final Tally

The Dead Pelican Brief

 BRFL 2022. The Final Tally.

The reader is advised to keep his or her copy of  The Living Document close at hand, the better to understand the arcane rules and byzantine calculations that led to the following scores.

By way of review, there were some changes to Bowl Season this year. A run-of-the-mill bowl game only gave 2 points for the win. A New Year's Six game ( Rose, Sugar, Orange, Cotton, Peach or Fiesta ) earned 4 points. The College Football Playoff semi handed you 4 points. The National Championship win awarded you 6 points.

Additionally, remember, you had your GG points added to your total. Which, in Timmy!'s case, was a big deal. 

If you get confused (and who wouldn't?) refer to the latest iteration of the Living Document. This link should take you right to it.

And so, to business.

Lola. #1 pick in the draft for Season 17. Took Notre Dame. How'd she do? In a word; Shitty. The Domers dropped SowCow 45 - 38 in their bowl game (I don't know how the fuck this happened either). Starting Bowl Season at minus 9, Lola picked up +2 for the win, +1 for the no drop (yes, ND was ranked), +1 for the move up (you're shitting me) and she earned +6 from her GG work. Yes, folks, Lola turned things around (sort of) during Bowl Season and finished the season at +1.  Finishes 11th out of 14. Not judging.

CCS. #2 pick in the draft in 2022. And he made it count. Signed on with the Evil Wolverine Conspiracy, which is regrettable. But he won the B1G by crushing Ohio State. He cruised into the CFP playoff and promptly got outscored by TCU 51 - 45 earning stoogatz in bowl season. Entered bowl-mania with an all but unassailable +32 points; 0 for the bowl, 0 for the no drop, minus one for the move DOWN, add 5 for GG, it's all over but the cryin' as CCS TAKES THE CHEESE with +36 for the BRFL Championship, #1 out of 14.

DPo. #3 pick. Tapped the Houston Cougars. Looked good on paper. Entered Bowl Season with +1 . Skonked the Rajun' Cajuns 23 - 16 in the bowl game. +2. Unranked so he got neither a no drop nor a move up. Plucked 3 from GG despite uniformly awful picks. Bowl season = meh for DPo. Ends the season with +6. # 8 out of 14. I'm reminded of the word 'suck'.

KBronieBoy. #4 pick. Jumps on the Oregon Ducks bandwagon (like a bitch). Enters Bowl Week at +15. Sneaks by woebegone UNC 28 - 27, +2. +1 for the no drop (of course they were ranked), no move up, sub-par performance in GG nets 1 (one!) point. When the smoke clears, finishes with +19 total. #4 out of 14. Picked 4th, finished 4th. Respect it. Or not.

Holy shit. Timmy!. #5 pick. Hitches his wagon to Michigan State. Sparty was just god damn awful in '22. Lord have mercy. Did the coach get fired? I think so. They finished 5 - 7, 3 - 6 in the B1G. Not bowl eligible so you can fucking forget those points. Unranked and bad, there were no other chances for points. T-tee entered a non-existent 'bowl season' at MINUS 8 but, wait, Teeblations ran away with GG and banked +10 to end the season with +2. This is why we pay attention to GG, People. #10 out of 14. Nothing to brag about but at least he didn't quit. 

Jimbosuke. #6 pick. Boldly, and maybe unwisely, picked the University of Texas Longhorns. Got dumped by the University of Washington 😡 27 -20. Fuck you, Quinn Ewers. Plunged 4 in the AP (excessive, I thought), earned a paltry +2 in GG due to being dropped on my head as a baby and I end the season at +18. #5 out of 14. I like to think of myself as a "winner". Draw your own conclusions.

SockPuppet/PuppetMaster. # 7 pick. Why not Baylor, which would be absolutely suicidal? Baylor finished 6 - 6 and 4 -5 in the Big12. Air Force handed them their asses in the bowl game 30 -15. Sock entered Bowl Season with MINUS 12. He exited Bowl Season with MINUS 12. It's shocking but he finished #12 out of 14 in the BRFL. Oh, BTW, he finished out of the money in GG. 2023 seems like a rebuilding year. 

Q. Of course, with the #8 pick, she picked Iowa. And Iowa kind of blew. Okay, they truck-dragged the University of Kentucky 21 - 0 in their bowl game. This added +2 to Q's +7. And the Q grabbed a quick +4 from GG. Ended the season with +13, #6 out of 14 which is, considering she had the #8 pick, over achieving. 

DogTheBountyHunter. #9 pick. We've been over this. Took Utah. Many of us coveted Utah. Entered the NYSix Bowl Game (Rose Bowl) against hated Penn State with +18.  Lost his QB in the first half and the wheels came off for Dog. PSU prevailed 35 - 21. AP dropped DTBH 3 in the final poll. Strong showing in GG netted  him +7. Finishes up with +22. #3 out of 14. With the #9 draft pick? That's ballin'.

BreauxFreaux. Numba Ten pick. Again, picks a team we'd all been eyeing, NC State. Ultimately though? The Wolf Pack disappoints. Injuries play a major role but nobody really gives a shit. Maryland, fucking MARYLAND, hands Breaux the 'L' on bowl day 16 - 12 and the Breaux already went into Bowl Land at +1. But wait, Breaux, historically, is a force in GG. This year was no exception. The Freaux brings in +8 from GG and saves his own ass. Or, I should say, he would have had the AP not hung a REAM! on him for losing to Maryland. Minus 5 for that, Buddy, and you finally stop rolling down the pavement at +4 on the season. #10 out of 14. There's always next year. 

Snottie. #11 pick in the '22 draft. Wisconsin is usually a safe pick. Not this year, Amigo. They sucked. To quote DPo, Chryst is crucified and fired and Jim Leonhard interims his way through a season from hell. Snottie enters the Bowl fracas at minus 6. But the Badgers dump Oklahoma State in their bowl. +2. Snottie shows up huge in GG, coming in second and taking home +9. Final tally for Snott? +5. #9 out of 14. Again, over achieving.

ChibaChew. #12 pick. Steps to the homer move and goes with the Cincinnatti Bearcats. 'Cats HC Luke Fickell decamps for the vacant Wisconsin job and Cincy gets owned by Louisville in their bowl. Sad. The Chi entered bowl season with +6, got only 2 from his GG efforts and ended the year with +8. #7 out of 14. That's some over achieving shit. 

Ronde'. This fucker. #13 pick. He goes with USC. 'Too early' we all say. Okay, they got out-gunned by one point by the Tulane Green Wave in their bowl. But they went to a New Year's 6 Bowl Game and thy won the PAC-12. Ronde' started bowl season at +28 and had a legit shot at The Cheese. But no. He took the 'L'. The AP dropped him 4, off set by the +4 he picked up in GG, and he finished the season in 2nd place with 28. With the #13 pick. I don't quite know what to say.

McLovin. #14 pick. Sticks his neck out with the Ohio State pick. Michigan puts the Bucks on the Heavy Douche cycle setting and 'Lovin's season founders on the shoals. A 'where the fuck did THAT come from?' performance against UGA in the CFP semis gives him an AP boost. Miserable performance in GG is not helpful. Finishes the season at +13. #6 out of 14. Serious overachieving. 

Next up, what you owe and what you can expect to bank.

 

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life.

PS:  To put it simply, this is how we finished:

    1. CCS. Champion. Commissioner's Cup.

    2. Ronde'

    3. DogTheBountyHunter. Liberace winner.

    4. KBronie

    5. Jimbo$uke

    6. Q and McLovin

    7. ChibaChews

    8. DPo

    9. Snottie

    10. BreauxFreaux 

    11. Timmy!

    12. Lola

    13. SockPuppet. Bruce Pinkernell Pinkie Parer winner.

Bowlathon Chapter 7, National Championship

GG, The Final Chapter for 2022.

From the betting this looked like it was going to be a good game. 7 GGers picked TCU and 7 went with UGA. 

Final score, Georgia 65, TCU 7. I had to go back and look it up because I didn't believe my scorecard. 

TCU threw for 152 and ran for 36. Max Duggan was sacked 5 times, TFL'd 9 times, had negative 38 yds rushing but still scored the only TD for the Frogs, on a run. 

It was as thorough an ass whipping as we saw all season. 

Lola had TCU. Finished the season with 36, in 5th place, which gives her 6 points toward her BRFL total. 

CCS had the Dawgs, 1 point to finish with 35, 6th place, he takes 5 to add to his BRFL total. 

DPo. Dawgs. Finish with 33. 8th place. 3 more in the BRFL. Every little bit helps.

KBronie. TCU. Stoogatz. Finish with 31. 10th place. He gets a point added to his BRFL total.

Timmy! Tabbed the Dawgs. Add 1 to put him over the top with 46. GG Champion. More importantly, he gets a 10 point boost in the BRFL. Strong pull, Teeblations. 

'Bo$uke. TCU. Christ! Finish with 32. Ties for 9th place. Add 2 to the BRFL total. 

SockPuppet. Had Georgia. Got 1 point. Still not enough to finish in the top 10. No points for the BRFL.

Q. TCU. Finishes with 34. That's enough to tie for 7th. Picks up 4 points for her BRFL total. 

DogTBH. TCU. Had a good run, finishes with 41. Owns 4th place and takes 7 to his BRFL total tally.

BreauxFreaux. Georgia. Strong season, finishing with 44. 3rd place. That means 8 BRFL points. 

Snottie. Georgia. Had Teebs faltered ... but, no. 45 on the season. 2nd place. Add 9 to your BRFL total.

Ronde'. TCU. Finishes with 34, tied for 7th with Q. He also gets 4 points to add to his BRFL total.

McLovin'. TCU. Sad, sad finish to a sad, sad season. 30 is not enough to crack the top ten. No points.

ChiChi. UGA. Adds 1 point, finishes the season with 32. Tied for 9th. Add 2 to your BRFL total. 

And that's all she wrote for GG 2022. 

Next up, the BRFL Final Tally.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

Bowlathon '2022' Chapter 6; January 2 Games

 Here we see the Commissioner attempting to clean up some old business as the 2023 BFL season closes in on us. 

My bathroom has old files in it too. 

Chapter 6

These were the games:

Mississippi State over the Fighting Illini 19 - 10.

Tulane snuck by USC  46 - 45. Not one single GGer picked Tulane. No love for the Green Wave. 

Fucking Penn State pulls away from Utah after Cam Rising sacrifices his entire body against 4 punk-ass PSU defenders for a first down early in the second half. Cam heads to the locker room and the back-up tosses a costly interception and just generally blows. The air goes out of the Utah bag and, well, here we are. PSU 35 - Utah 21 in the Rose Bowl. Special K and Lola tabbed the Nittanys to win. Nobody else. 

You hate to see it. 

Lola picks up 2 to go to 36.

CCS gets 1 to make 34.

DPo with 1 to get to 32.

Special K, 2 to get 31.

Timmy! hauls in 1 to lead it with 45.

"BoSuke, a crappy 1 to reach 32.

SockPuppet, pathetic 1 to get to 29. High hopes to break the 30 barrier this season.

Q get 1 to reach 34.

DogTheBountyHunter picks up just one to make 41.

Breaux gets one to pull in at 43.

Snottie, +1 to make it 44.

Ronde' has +1 to reach 34.

McLovin' flounders on with 1 to make 30.

ChibaChew grabs an easy 1 to make 31.

Nobody remembers these games except the poor fucker who had USC. 

That was Ronde'. 

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

2023 BRFL Jamoboree Pay-Out Classic

 Buenas noches, mis amigas.

This year's BRFL Jamoboree and Pay-Out Classic has been moved to Saturday night, 6 PM, 30 Fair Street on September 9. The summer date just proved too problematic. 

This year's theme will be 'Merican barbeque. ChibaChew and I will not be journeying to New Hartford just to get bad-vibed by some arrogant South Asian men about an order they never heard of.  Again, let us bow to the Chibster for his inspired, improvisational, racist insults directed at the staff at Minar Indian Cuisine, New Hartrford, NY. Every so often a BRFLer steps up and covers him or herself in glory. Such was the case that evening in Utica. I couldn't have asked for a more gnarly, angry and stoned wing-man. 

But, I will not, I cannot, in good conscience, trust history to repeat itself. Let's face it. Most of you Turds are pretty lame. ChibaChew was, at least for that brief moment in the Sun, a generational player. Thus, this year we're going All-American and we'll see how that turns out. 

As you Twats well know we have never had a Jambo in September. Personally, I have really, really low expectations. Change my mind. 

Show me what you've got.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Super Bowl Results

 "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together ...

... I am the egg man ...

... I am the Walrus...

... goo goo a'joob."

Chiefs 38, Eagles 35.

Chucky takes The Cheese. Lola deals with heartbreak.😢

1. SockPuppet: Kansas City Chiefs

2. Lola: Philadelphia Eagles

3. Timmy!: San Francisco Forty-Niners

4. BreauxFreaux: Buffalo Bills

5. Snottie : Cincinnati Bengals

6. DPo: Minnesota Vikings

7. ChiChi: Tampa Bay

8. McLovin: Jacksonville Jaguars

9. Q: Dallas Cowboys

10. Jimbo$$uke: NY Giants

11. SpecialK Bronie: Seattle Seahawks

12. DogTheBountyHunter: L A Chargers

13. CCS: Baltimore Ravens

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

NFL Conference Championships

 Results:

Philadelphia seal-clubs San Francisco, 31 -7. When you're slapping a wrist-band on your running back before the third quarter it's time to go home. Teebs gets crushed, Lola advances to the Super Bowl. 

The Bengals lose a heart-breaker to the Chiefs, 23 - 20 on the road. Why there wasn't more Bengal blitzing is a mystery. A field goal sends Snottie home for the winter. SockPuppet to the Super Bowl. 

It all comes down to this Sunday. Lola vs. SockPuppet.

1. SockPuppet: Kansas City Chiefs

2. Lola: Philadelphia Eagles

3. Timmy!: San Francisco Forty-Niners

4. BreauxFreaux: Buffalo Bills

5. Snottie : Cincinnati Bengals

6. DPo: Minnesota Vikings

7. ChiChi: Tampa Bay

8. McLovin: Jacksonville Jaguars

9. Q: Dallas Cowboys

10. Jimbo$$uke: NY Giants

11. SpecialK Bronie: Seattle Seahawks

12. DogTheBountyHunter: L A Chargers

13. CCS: Baltimore Ravens

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life