BRFL Week 9 Results

 

A lot of carnage this week.

SockPuppet. Texas takes BYU out behind the wood-shed for a Lone Star State spanky-spanky. Texas 35, BYU 6. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 on the week. +19 on the season, #7 AP.

Lola. BYE week. But, wait. There's more. 1 for the no drop and +2 from the AP on the move up. +3 weekend. Season make or break contest with Satan coming up. +3 weekend puts you at minus 3 on the season. #13 AP. 

BreauxFreaux. BYE week. Nothing to see here. TTech collects zeroes on the week and remains at +3 on the season. Unranked. 

Timmy! Notre Dame obliterates Pittsburgh 58 -7. Domers hitting on all cylinders in South Bend including this 78 yard punt return for 6 by Chris Tyree. ND is for real. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 from the AP, +4 weekend. +15 on the season. #12 AP.

Snottie. Oregon violates Utah on the road in Salt Lake City, 35 - 6. Utah's Cinderella story comes crashing down. Bo Nix stat line: 24/31, 248 yds, 8 yards per pass avg, 2 TDs, 0 INTs, 95.2 QBR. Scary numbers. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 from the AP, Snottie with +24 on the year, #6 AP. 

Camp Randall Stadium

DPo. Ohio State 24, Wisconsin 10 in Madison. Ohio State offense underwhelming. But the Silver Bullets step up and stuff the Badgers. Bodies strewn all over the field from both teams. B1G cannabalism at its finest. The Po grabs air and stays at minus 5. Unranked. 

ChibaChews. Jesus Christ. Will your suffering never end? Have you considered the priesthood? Your bills would get paid. Parishioners would feed you. Comes with a house. I'd consider it, if I were you. NC State 24, Clemson 17. Okay, Clemson and the Daboyites were on the road. But that doesn't change the fact that they are just not very good. Zeroes on the weekend. Minus 19 on the season. Unranked. Just awful. 

Q. Okay, either Cal is really good or USC is just a lame-ass bunch of Cali dildoes who never heard of defense. USC 50 - Cal 49. Is this something to be proud of?/ Dunno! 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. Minus 12 on the season. #24 AP. How have you not been REAMED yet?

McLovin. Ohio State 24 over Wisconsin 10, on the road in Madison. Kyle McCord continues to make bad decisions. A few star players on offense cover for an atrocious O-line. Defense holds the whole shit-show together. Rutgers next week. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and the AP ignores the Bucks again. +2 on the weekend takes you to +7 on the season and still #3 AP. The Mountain is high, McLovin.

$$uke. Oregon State takes the 'L' from Arizona in Tucson, 27 - 24. Two up-and-coming coaches. Bright futures. 

So why did the Oregon State coach go full-retard at the end of the first half? Tied at 10 - 10 in an obvious low posession game, Arizona gifts Oregon State an interception with 1:47 on the clock. OSU takes over on the Arizona 48. Works their way down to 1st and 10 on the Arizona 16 (!!) and stalls out. On third and 10, with no timeouts and 0:03 on the clock they send in the kicker, a pudgly, not very athletic looking Atticus Sappington for the gimme' FG. Except it's a DESIGNED fake. Fucking Atticus Sappington is supposed to take the ball and rumble 16 yards for a TD through a pretty stout Arizona D.  Of course it didn't work. And Oregon State loses by 3. 

AP drops them 5. +15 on the season. #16 AP. 

Fuck.

You.

KBron. Ole' Miss keel-hauls Vandy 33 - 7 in Oxford. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. 1 from the AP. +3 on the weekend. We have a new Leader. KBron at +26. 

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas State kicks the shit out of and shuts out Houton 41 - 0 in Manhattan, Kansas. What the fuck is this? Suddenly KSU is kicking ass and taking names? I demand an explanation. +1 for the win and DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE!, +5 more. +6 weekend moves The Dog up to minus 1 and #25 AP.

Ronde'. Tulane edges Rice, 30 - 28 in Houston. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 1 from the AP. +3 weekend. Ronde' moves up to +14 on the season and #21 AP. The worm is starting to turn Ronde's way.

CCS. Oklahoma 33, Kansas 38, in Lawrence, Kansas. Those goal posts are headed for a lake on campus. Not sure what the hell happened here but CCS was pretty bummed. The AP takes away 4. CCS has +23 on the season, still #10 AP. It's Bedlam in Stillwater this week. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life