BRFL Week 7 Results

 

Lance Herbstrong: the formative years

SockPuppet: Texas Longhorns with the BYE. A time to rest and heal. 1 for the no drop and a +1 move up due to the vagaries of the AP Poll. +2 on the week. +14 Total. #8 AP.

Lola: LSU's offense can torch anyone at any moment. Yet their record kind of blows. This past weekend, a 48 - 18 drubbing of Auburn in Baton Rouge. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +3 from the AP, +5 week makes a -12 total. #19 AP. Progress. I guess.

BreauxFreaux: Texas Tech takes the 'L' from an unpredictable Kansas State squad, 38 - 21. This was in Lubbock, TX so, frankly, I don't know what the fuck happened here because Kansas State is not good. The Breaux wears his pain like a hair shirt. +3 on the year. Unranked still.

Timmy! Notre Dame beats the living shit out of USC, 48 - 20 in South Bend. We've talked about this in GG. Here's the highlights. Just go to 2:18 and watch the wheels come off. Or watch the whole thing. I don't care. Suddenly, Teebs gets 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, a monster +6 move up and it's a +8 weekend and Teeblations has +9 on the season and is #15 AP.

Snottie: When is a loss not really a  loss? When it's a four quarter slug-fest like Washington over Oregon in Seattle, 36 - 33. Both of these teams scare me. Still, Snottie with the loss, but the AP only drops him 1, so minus 1 on the weekend and he still has +17 on the year and is #9 AP. 43 yards is a makeable field goal.

DPo: This Wisconsin pick looked like the safest pick on earth. Yet, here we are. Iowa downs the Badgers AT CAMP RANDALL, 15 - 6. Worse, Wisco signal caller Tanner Mordecai breaks a bone in his throwing hand, has surgery on Sunday to "put a pin" in there and is out until God knows when, handing the reins to red shirt freshman Braedyn Locke. B-R-A-E-D-Y-N. This on top of Chez Mellusi's broken leg vs. Purdue. Minus 6 on the year. Unranked and kind of screwed. 

ChibaChews: BYE week for Clemson. Time for Dabo to rant and rave about how much he hates NIL and the Tranny Portal while his team stumbles through an incomprehensible ACC schedule of suckness. Minus 19 on the year. Unranked. 

Q: USC falls apart in South Bend and takes a thorough douching at the hands of the Domers, 20 - 48. We've been through this. The AP savages the Men of Troy to the tune of minus 8. Honestly, I think minus 4 of that was just because Lincoln Riley is such an asshole. Minus 8 on the season. #18 in the AP.

McLovin: Ohio State travels to West Lafayette, IN and destroys the Boilermakers 41 - 7. When their #3 RB goes down with a concussion, the #4 RB comes in and turns out to be better than the previous 3. Next up, fucking PSU. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and the Lovin struggles to +3 on the season, #3 AP. 

$$uke: The UCLA Bruins come to Corvallis and take the 'L' from the Beaves. UCLA 24, Oregon State 36. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and +3 on the AP move up. +5 weekend for the Beavers and it's +18 on the season, #12 AP. 

KBron: Ole Miss with the BYE week. 1 for the no drop. +20 on the season, #13 AP.

DogTheBountyHunter: Kansas State dumps Texas Tech in Lubbock, 38 - 21. We've been through this. 1 for the win. DTBH moves to minus 8 on the season. Never say die. Unranked in the AP.

Ronde': Tulane 31, Memphis 21 on the road in Memphis. This is a quality win. And, wait JUST ONE MINUTE! We have our first DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE! of the season. 1 for the win. +2 for landing in the AP at #23. An +5 for the DIDDLE! 8 point weekend and, Good Lord, Ronde' is at +8 and #23 AP. 

CCS: Oklahoma with the BYE week. Because the AP is inherently fucked up, somehow you got dropped one spot. +25 on the season. #6 AP.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life