BRFL Week 2 Results

 BRFL Week 2.

The Week of the Ream.

Quinn Ewers and the Longhorns slay Satan IN TUSCALOOSA 34 - 24. It doesn't get much more satisfying than this. Schadenfreude rules in Austin as SockPuppet gets 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, a monstrous +7 on the move up for a subtotal of +9 and a grand total of +11. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our Leader and his name is The Puppet Master. 

Lola and LSU get to whup up on an HBU as Brian Kelly (who is more white than Brian?) and LSU destroy Grambling 72 - 10. Want my opinion? Fuck you, you're getting it anyway. Brian Kelly is a douche and LSU is not very good. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 for the subtotal, minus 13 on the season. 

Texas Tech takes Oregon to the wire but loses 38 -30. Texas Tech is not a bad football team but they have horrible luck. The Bro feels sadness. Zeroes across the board. Zero on the season.

Timmy! Notre Dame is for real. The Paddies romp 45 - 24 over NC State and it wasn't that close. 

1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +1 on the move up to #9 in the AP and Teeblations sits at +9 in the BRFL. 

Snottie. Oregon sneaks by TTech 38 -30. Okay, the game was in Lubbock. But the Ducks needed a 20 point fourth stanza and a lucky pick six to seal the deal. Worrisome? Ch'yeah! 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, no AP love, the Snot has +6 on the season. 

DPo. Wisconsin inexplicably shits themselves in Pullman and loses to Washington State 31 - 22. Is Washington State really good? Dunno! 

But Deeps gets the REAM! Minus 5 on the weekend as Wisco exits the AP. I  missed it earlier but DPo confessed that, since he started the week at #19, he picked up another minus 6 on the way down. It was a bad week; minus 11. That puts the 'Po at minus 3 on the year. 

ChibaChews. Dumbo Swinney and his dildos from down south blister Charleston Southern to the tune of 66 -17. Proving absolutely nothing and the AP takes note. Rarely have I seen a team hang 60+ on another team, get a win (even if it's over retards) and then get the REAM! from the AP. For once I salute the Associated Press Poll. Parenthetically, Tulane started the week at #24 AP so let's tack on another minus 1 for the trip out of the poll.

Chiba finds himself dwelling in BRFL sub-hell at minus 22. 

Q. USC kicks the living shit out of Stanford 56 -10 at home. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop and the AP gives +1 Love for a subtotal of +3 and a grand total of +1 on the season. It's just a shame that Henry isn't around to own Stanford and be losing a lot of cash. 

McLovin. Ohio State 35, Youngstown State 7, a snoozer in The Shoe. 

Ohio State (on offense) has a putrid 30% third down conversion rate (25% on 3rd and 1 - 3 yards). That's really bad. The defense has only given up 10 points in 2 games but their opponents have converted on 3rd down 40% of the time, which puts the Bucks at 73rd in the country. That's not very good either. 

The AP is not impressed. 1 for the win, but -1 on the drop. Naught for the weekend. Minus 9 on the season. Things are not working out for McLuv. 

Jimbo$$uke. Representin' the Beaver! Oregon State violates UC Davis 55 - 7. In Corvallis (hey, it's UC Davis. Can't be too careful). 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +6 on the season. Keep hope alive for 'Bo$$uke, may the angels stroke his flowing mane.

Komronovich. Ole Miss took a little trip to New Orleans. Ole Miss 37, Tulane 24. This was a big game for Tulane. For Ole Miss, business as usual. Road win over a ranked opponent. The future is bright in Oxford. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. AP is noticing the Rebs, +3 on the move up to #17. On the week, +5. On the year, +9. This is why Ole Miss was on everyone's short list.

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas State thumps Troy 42 - 13. For some reason this game made the Dog nervous. Not sure why. Troy is always kind of good. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +5 on the season. Lighten up, Dog. 

Ronde'. Ole Miss is too much for Tulane, even in New Orleans, as the Green Wave gets washed, 37 - 24. AP hands El Ronde' the REAM!.   Parenthetically, Tulane started the week at #24 AP so let's tack on another minus 1 for the trip out of the poll, shall we? Minus 6 on the week to arrive at minus 4 on the season. 

CCS. Oklahoma doesn't exactly trample the Ponies. OU 28 - SMU 11. 1 for the win but the AP is not impressed and drops the Sooners minus 1. +4 on the season. 

Until next week...

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life