BRFL Week 3 Results

 "Brevity is the soul of wit', to quote the Bard. Thus, the Commissioner's remarks will be brief.

Sockpuppet's Texas Longhorns get into a nasty tussle in Austin with the perpetually horny Wyoming Cowboys until the 'Horns pull away 31 - 10. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, AP moves Texas up 1, +3 on the weekend and Sock remains the Leader in the clubhouse with +14.

Lola. LSU cock-whips Mississippi State 41 - 14 on the road and gets 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 AP love, +4 on the weekend, scratching and clawing to a still unrespectable minus 9. Awful. 

BreauxFreaux goes out and finds some team from 'Tarleton State' and Texas Tech beats the shit out of them 41 - 3. Call me a dumb-ass but there are 50 states and none of them are named 'Tarleton'. 

Fuck you, Bro. 

1 point for the win. +1 on the year. 

Timmy!. Notre Dame puts the wood to Central Michigan 41 - 17. 

Okay. 

1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, but no move up in the AP because nobody should give up 17 to Central Michigan. +11 total. Maybe get a linebacker to make up an on-line girlfriend to take the focus off your impending apocalypse.

Snottie. Oregon hosts Hawaii for a ritual sacrifice to the tune of 55 - 10, Ducks. Yet...the AP showers love. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +3 AP Love 5 point weekend puts the Snotter at +11.

DPo. Georgia Southern gets pushed around by Wisco at Camp Randall 35 - 14. Not sure how to feel about this 'win'. Deeps gets +1 for the win and fuck-all else. The 'Po sits at minus 8 on the season.

ChibaChews. Who the hell is 'Florida Central'? Dunno'! But Clemson beat the crap out of them 48 - 14. This seems like probably Clemson's ceiling. Fuck off, Dabo. +1 for the win. Minus 21 for the Cheebster.

Q. Bye week. Total pussy move. 1 for the no drop. Q and USC at +2 on the season. You've got to be fucking kidding me. 

McLovin. Ohio State dismantles Western Kentucky U 63 -10 in The Shoe. Defense rises up. 2 sacks, 8 TFLs, 2 INTs, 2 fumble recoveries, a pick six, 12 points. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, still...no AP love. The Lovin is floundering at minus 7. 

I smell fear in South Bend.

Jimbo$$uke. The Beavers beat up perennial power house San Diego State 29 -9. Uhhhh...1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and, (what?!?!) +2 AP Love to reach +10 on the season. I'm loving me some Beaver!

KBron. Ole Miss dismisses Georgia Tech with a 49 - 23 whuppin'. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 AP hugs and Ole Miss sits at +13 on the season. 

DogTheBountyHunter. KSU loses on the road to Missouri, 27 - 30, as the Thiccer Kicker nails the 61 yd walk-off FG. Tragedy strikes DTBH. The AP piles on. A screaming, crying, praying to God power plunge out of the poll equals minus 10 but, hey, what the fuck? Let's throw in an AP REAM! for minus 5 more. Minus 15 on the weekend. DTBH goes from +5 to minus 10, just like that. 

Mercy is for the weak. 

Ronde'. Tulane dumps Southern Mississippi 21 - 3 on the road. In some other galaxy this game might have some meaning. 1 for the win. The Green Wave treads water at minus 2.

CCS. Oklahoma destroys the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes 66 -17 on the road. Tulsa is never a bad team. Is there something going on in Norman? Like, that I don't know about? AP thinks so. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +3 from the AP. +5 weekend. CCS has +9 and he wants more, Bitches. 

I see a major shake-up coming this weekend. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life