GG Week 5 Results

Luke Fickle will kick your ass

GG Week 5 Results.

Ole Miss gets an ass-whupping in Tuscaloosa. Rebs 21, Tide 42. Not this year, Lane.

Cincinnati takes a giant shit on Notre Dame in South Bend; Bearcats 24, Domers 13. 

And fuck you, Brian Kelly.

Oklahoma State bests Baylor in T. Boone Pickens Stadium, 24 -14. This one calls for some bloviation by the Commissioner. 

First, Jaylen Warren. All 5'8" and 215 pounds of him. This fucker was supposed to be the back-up to the back-up of the back-up at RB in Stillwater this year. Instead, everybody gets hurt and it's 36 god damn carries (36!) for 125 yds and 2 TDs vs Baylor in the Iron Skillet game (no, I'm not making this shit up), as this tiny son-of-a-bitch, whose right leg is bigger than two of me, basically owns the Bears for... Four...Fucking...Quarters. This bastard started out at Snow Junior College, whatever the fuck that is, where he was just the NJCAA National Player of the Year and some sort of academic All American as if that makes a tiny dick's worth of difference. Then he graduates and goes to Utah State (UTAH STATE!?) where he continues to run all over everybody like a bull with his nuts on fire and then, fucking THEN, he enters the transfer portal and ends up playing for the damn Okie State Cowboys and blowing up my sweep. That, My Friends, SUCKS. 

Second, did you watch this game? Did you see what a hell hole T. Boone Pickens Stadium is? It's like a cage match only with a football game in it. And those fans? Okay, to be honest? I sometimes drive around Otsego County, not on purpose but, like, when I'm going to the dump or Stewarts or something? And I notice how everybody looks kind of like a mutant or as if they were in a costume for a holiday or a party that I don't know about? But these fucking people in T. Boone Pickens Stadium? These people are some serious freaks. Banging their god damned Poke Paddles on the wall all game and gibbering like idiots at the top of their lungs. I don't think I would feel safe in Oklahoma.

Just, I mean, will you LOOK at them?

BroFro. SWEEP! 5 to go to 8 on the season.

McLovin'. 2 to go to 6.  Very 'meh'.

Teeblations. 6 total. Jesus. Oh God. You need every GG point you can get, Homes.

DTBH. 1(One) to go to 6. Sad.

Snottie. SWEEP! You step up to 10 total, Mr. Somebody.

DPo. SWEEP! It's SO easy. You've got 10 too. 

SockPuppet. 2 to go to 7. Punch the PuppetMaster in his face.

'BoSuke. 2 to go to 8. Baylor. Dave Aranda. No fucking bueno, Dave. 

Ronde'. 1 to go to 8. How the mighty have fallen. 

CCS. 2 to go to 10. Like a desperate dog fighting over a bone.

KBronie. SWEEP! Git r' dun and go to 10 total. Self-esteem? This may be as close as you ever get.

QXXX. 2 to go to 5. On the year. No, I'm not laughing. Really. I'm not.

Lola. 1. That's pathetic. But you still have 9 total. 4 more than QXXX.

Kitten. SWEEP! What the FUCK?! Who is this asshole? Now you have 6. Uh...great. 

Jimbosuke,

Keep Him Safe and Warm

Jaylen Warren, 36 totes for 125 and 2 TDs