BRFL Week 9.5 Results

"Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. Now the people of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD. The LORD said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, " Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west. All the land I will give to you and your offspring forever."

Jimbosuke; Utah beats the piss out of Cal, 35 - 0. A damaged Tyler Huntley goes 11/17, 214 yds and 1 TD while Zach Moss breaks some more all time Utah rushing records, just for laughs. The AP smiles upon the Utes. +3 move up. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. 5 point weekend. Total +20.

Q: How good does this season feel? Cameron Lewis, true freshman kicker, with the walk-off 29 yd FG to down Washington State 37-35 in Eugene. Your RB, CJ Verdell with epic stats: 257 yds, 3 TDs on just 23 totes. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP has thunderous orgasm and drops +4 more on the Ducks. +6 weekend. Q, you have +18.

Komronovich; Bye week. Gators rest up pool-side with the Liberachero. Teams above you lose. One for the no drop, 1 for the AP move up. Total +12. At least for now the old piano pounder is back where he belongs.

Rhonda; Louisville 28, Virginia 21. WTF? What started as a promising season for the Cavs is turning into a steaming pile of shit. Is Bobby Petrino still the coach at Louisville? Wait. Did he get fired. Still. He's a world class douche. Anyway. Zeros across the board. Tread water at +8. Depressing much?

CCS; Arkansas 7, 'Bama 48. Mac Jones 13/22, 235 yds and 3 TDs. Really? Does it matter who plays QB for Alabama? Not against Arkansas apparently. 1 for the win. Mysterious minus one from the AP. Naught on the weekend. Stay at +7.

BroFro; San Jose State 34, Army 29. When did Army go off a cliff? Me not know. But, Brojito, you are lucky you are dominating GG. Naught on the weekend. A recurrent theme for you this season. Stay at +3.

Timmy!; Way to have the boys ready to play, Brian "Crazy-Ass" Kelly. Notre Dame 14, Meechy 45. Happily for you, Teeblations, Brian Kelly will be dead before they play this game again. In 33 years. AP just shits you out like breakfast sausage with a whopping minus 8. Crash land at +3 on the season.

McLovin; Clemson dismantles Boston College 59 - 7 in another hilarious ACC mismatch. I don't know how they got 7 but it was probably a flea fucking flicker dumb-ass ACC joke play. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +2 on the weekend brings you into positive territory with +1. Your conference is ass.

DPo; If ever there was a snake-bit season this is it. Washington State has Oregon on the ropes on the road, an almost certain Diddle, and out comes the true freshman kicker to rain suffering down upon you. Washington State 35, Oregon 37. Zeros across the board. You have zero for the season. Bet the ranch weekend in  your future?

SeannieG; I've been calling SeaGra "SeannieG" for what, 2 years now? And not one of you fuckers have asked me why. It's a Kenny G thing. For God's sakes. Pay attention. Oh, and by the way, SeannieG had a little catastrophe this weekend. Oklahoma 41, KState 48. Nobody is talking "Hiesman Hurts" anymore, Bro. Life sucks then you die. Merciless AP punishes the Sinner with minus 5. Mr. Nobody sits at Zero on the season. Play that funky music, White Boy.

SkHank; KJ Costello lives! He is resurrected by God, the Father Almighty, and returns to action where he promptly goes 30/43 for 312 yds and 3 TDs, 0 INTs. He runs once, but that's for 14 yards. There is hope is SkHank World. Stanford 41, Arizona 31. Sure, Arizona sucks, but still. Love the way Stanford asks a guy with brain damage to chuck it 43 times. 1 for the win. You have Zero.

Kitten; UCF's season not going according to plan and somebody needs a whuppin'. UCF 63, Temple 21. Die, Bitches. 1 for the win. Kitty at minus 4.

Snottie; Hail to the Victors. Meechy destroys the Domers 45 - 14 in a driving rainstorm. I can't believe I didn't see this one coming after the way the Wolvies played in the second half against PSU. Hate on the Harbaugh? Can't do it. Won't do it. Wouldn't be prudent. Something is going very right in Ann Arbor and these fuckers are tough at home. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. Plus 5 from the AP. +7 on the weekend. Snottie has life and moves to zero.

SockPuppet; Oh my fucking GOD, will it never end? Indiana 38, Nebraska 31. Zeros across the board. You are, like, totally and completely doomed. You have minus 7. At least you're not last anymore. That honor goes to Obama.

A happy Horned Toad returns one of Sam Ehlinger's 4 picks.

Obama; Texas 27, TCU Horned Frogs 37. Sam Ehlinger, 4 interceptions. Four. Max Duggan, his counterpart on the TCU squad, is a true freshman QB. Total humiliation. Let's just say there's some soul searching going on in Austin. Tom Herman suicide watch begins. From a BRFL standpoint, it doesn't get much worse. The AP bludgeons Killer Bee with a minus ten plunge out of the poll. Then the REAM for minus 5 more. That's minus 15 on the weekend. You land at minus 10 on the season. Betting the ranch should be considered.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life