BRFL Week 6 Results

Rhandi; Virginia bye. But wait. WTF?! AP moves the Cavs up 3. Add the no drop and it's a 4 point weekend for the stay-at-home-and-not-do-shit Virginia eleven. Son of a BITCH. Rhandi leads the pack with +17.

Jimbosuke; Utah lays around and does Mormon things on their bye week and, hey, hey, hey! The AP says, "Good work, Lads" and it's a 2 point move up for absolutely nothing. Add the no drop. 3 point weekend. Feel like a God much? 'BoSuke in the #2 spot with +8.

Komronovich; Florida defense stands tall. 24 - 13 over the Plainsmen of Auburn. It doesn't get easier this week, Brochacho. Savor the moment. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP moves you up 3. 5 pointer on the weekend. Total is +8 and you're tied for second place with 'Bosuke.

Timmy! Golden Domers torture Bowling Green, 52 - 0. Payday game? Sure. But ND has it going. AP apparently not impressed. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, add to your 5, you have +7 total. USC this weekend, DoucheMitten. You're into Liberace.

Obama; Longhorns survive the Mountaineers, 42 -31. Meh. Are the Mountaineers good? AP doesn't get too excited. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. Add to your 5, you've got +7, too. Red River Rivalry this weekend, CowPoker. You've got a stake in the ole' piano pounder, too.

Q; Pickin' on Cal. Oregon 17, Cal 7 as the Ducks pull out a squeaker. Talkin' Nat'l Champs playoff, Oregon is the only hope for the PAC 12. You get one for the (road) win, 1 for the no drop. Nothing from the AP. 2 on the weekend. You end up with +6.

CCS; Bama with the bye. No where to go. 1 for the no drop. You have +3. Respectable. Which says a lot about this year's picks.

BroFro; Tulane 42, Army 33. What do they call Tulane? The Green Wave or something? This one had to hurt. Zeros across the board. You still have +3. Because we all suck so much (except Rhandee) you can still get back in it.

SeannieG: Oklamoha @ Kansas U  Sooners 45, Jayhawks 20. Les fucking Miles. It's not working. Are the Sooners good? Gonna find out. Tootlin' off to Austin this week, ToolChest. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 weekend. Add to your -2. You're at zero.

DPo; Washington State with the bye. Mike Leach has the whole team standing in a dark shed thinking about last week's loss. Zeros across the BRFL universe for you. You have minus 1.

McLovin; Clemson with the bye. Trevor trying to understand what is wrong. Dabo chewing Tums. Luckily no opponents left until the playoff. 1 for the no drop. Brings you to a minus 1 total. Doomsday gets one week closer, SmartAss.

SkHank; What the absolute fuck?! Stanford is running on fumes. Their QB is, like, in a mini-coma. Did he even play in this game? I don't know because I don't care. Yet...here we are. Stanford 23, Wash U 13. No one, ever, should pick Wash U to win anything. SkHanky Panky gets a point. Minus one his total. The whole PAC 12 thing is bullshit, let's face it squarely and move on with our lives.

The Snot King; Meechy 10, Iowa 3, in Ann Arbor. Don Brown, you evil genius. Fuck you, Kirk Ferentz and your interception machine quarterback. No, they weren't all bad throws but your receivers didn't really try very hard. Meechy's DBs did. The Maize and Blue come to life and Snottie gets one for the win, 1 for the no drop and goosed in the pooper for +3 from the AP. 5 point weekend.
Had minus 11. Has minus 6.

Kitten: UCF @ Cincinnati: The Bearcats hand the Knights their second loss of the season, 27 -24, in Cincinnati. Kitty feels pain. Naugtht for the loss, naught for the no drop, but oh. Sweet Lawd A'mighty! The AP goes into a crazed shit-fit over this loss and tosses your ass out of the poll. Minus 7 for the bumpy ride from #18 to Mr. Nobody. Wait. I'm not done, Bitch. Smack you with a fat dick right across the face, hello, REAM! Minus 12 horrible weekend. You had +6. You have -6. You're so screwed right now.

SockPuppet; Pour a little 4-Loco out on the ground tonight for Sock. He had the sack to bet the ranch. His BRFL team, Nebraska, pulls out their IVs and life support paraphernalia and dumps Northwestern on the road 13 - 10. Good deal, but back to betting the ranch.
What SockPuppet was risking here was a potential bonanza of points in both GG and the BRFL. In GG he would have kept his 8 point wager plus received a double sweep award (10), giving him a total of 26 points on the season. In the BRFL he would have received 1 point for his team's win and a DOUBLE DIDDLE, 10 points, for an 11 point weekend, moving him from minus 3 to +8.
Alas, he was betrayed by the Plainsmen. So he forfeits the 8 points he wagered in GG (he gets to keep the 2 points he got for his picks this week) and it's minus 6 in GG and he drops to 10 on the season. (That's last place).
In the BRFL he gets the GRRREAM, which is minus 5, but he gets the win point from Nebraska. So, minus 4 on the weekend. Minus 3 on the season just became minus 7. Good enough for last place.
And, not to put too fine a point on it, but that's it for SockPuppet. He has burned his "bet the ranch" shirt for 2019. It's an uphill slog from here on out.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life