Rahndi; Domers down the Cavs 35 - 20. In South Bend. What the fuck did anyone expect? Which makes it all the more painful when the dreaded AP drops a minus 5 on your ass, Rahn. Really isn't that kind of a mini-ream? Small "r" ream? You had 18, you're still the Master of the Universe but with only 13 total.
Kitten; UCF crushes UConn, 56 - 21. Kitty's back in town. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. AP gives you 4 on the move up. You had zero. Total 6. Second place. That's how bad things are. 6 is good enough for second place.
Timmy! The Fightn' Irish drop the Cavaliers 35 -20 as mentioned. AP sees this as noteworthy. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up. Had 2. Now in third with +5. Liberace zone.
Jimbosuke; Utah 38, Washington State 13. Washington State may just not be very good. Their coach is clearly a madman. Utah gets the W without our bell-cow RB. Deep depression lifts slightly. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, AP spots me 2 more. Had 1, now I have +5.
Obama; Texas with the bye. The Longhorns don't move but you pick up the no drop point to go to +5 total. Three way tie for the old ivory-tickler third place spot.
Q; Oregon with the bye. No drop point. Owning fourth place with +4. The QWoman is a player this year,
Komronovich: Florida stomps out and shuts out Towson 38 - 0 but, well...Towson. AP disrepects the win and gives you a bitch-slap minus 1. You get 1 for the win so the weekend is a wash with zero and you're still sitting at +3.
BroFro; Army back in barracks with the bye. Unranked so it's a lost weekend. You still have +3.
CCS; Bama runs rough shod over Ole' Miss 59 - 31. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP moves you up one as if to say, "Clemson, you suck." , and it's a rare 3 point weekend for the Elephant. You had minus one. Now you have crossed over into the light with +2.
DPo; Mike Leach, Master Motivator, doesn't git r dun against the Utes. Utah 38 - Wash St 13. Coach Leach launches Charm Offensive by calling his players " fat, dumb and entitled". No points on the weekend, DPo, you cling to minus 1 total.
McLovin; Close call for Clemson. The Mackster goes for 2 and the win and gets snufffed. Clemson 21, NC State 20. Is it me or does an option pitch stretch play against Clemson seem like a kind of douche call for a 2 point conversion? Oh well. McLovin gets some well deserved scorn from the AP and the weekend is a wash. 1 for the win. Minus 1 AP. Total minus 2.
SkHank; Stanford pulls one out of its ass against arguably the worst team in the PAC 12. 31-28 over Oregon State in Corvallis. Nothing to be proud of, Extreme Loser. Minus 2 is your fate after the one point weekend.
SeannieG: Oklamoha 55 over Texas Tech 16. Uhhhh. Okay. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. Minus 2. Oklamoha is boring.
SockPuppet; Ohio State 48 - Nebraska 7. This was supposed to be Nebraska's "statement game". The statement was, "Well, we can't hang with Ohio State, that's for damn sure." Naught into naught equals naught. You have minus 3. Hello, World of Hurt.
Snottie; Meechy 52, Rutgers 0. I watched this game. Meechy has good players, notably their recievers. They don't suck. They have banged up RBs. But... I'm taking these loathsome fuckers against Iowa this weekend. Snottie, 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, AP moves you up 1 (Rutgers, okay?) and you bag a 3 point weekend to move to minus 11. Still owning last place.
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
I thought Leach was talking about the BRFL when he said fat, dumb and entitled.
ReplyDeleteEven Leach doesn't know what he was talking about.
ReplyDeleteAP Sucks Wild Moose Cock!
ReplyDeleteI smell your fear, Bitch.
ReplyDeleteNot gonna lie, sphincter was tightening up last Saturday!!
DeleteI bet you could have pulled nails out of a board with your anus.
DeleteMcLovin hasn't made a poop since Trevor Lawrence threw his fourth interception.
ReplyDelete