BRFL Week 9 Results

Jimbosuke; Utah 21, Arizona State 3. Herm Edwards, I slap a fat dick across your face. Zach Moss and Tyler Huntley literally come out of the medical tent to bitch-slap the Sun Devils. Oh, fuck you, Arizona State. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up. +3 on the weekend. Bow to the power, Bitches. +15 the total.

Q; O. M. G. The Q-One is in second place. Never happened before? Uh...chyeah! Oregon dumps Wash U on the road 35 - 31. What's that smell? It's Q burning up the tarmac in GG and the BRFL. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. 1 for the move up. 3 pointer. +12 the bundle at the end of week 9.

Timmy! Bye week for the Domers. Are we sure they're for real? 1 for the no drop. +11 on the season. This week the Liberace is firmly in the grasp of Teeblations.

Komronovich; Florida bests SowCow 38 - 27. Muschamp bitches about the refs. Throws hissy-fits. Because, well...Muschamp. Still, the Gator chomps. Hard to lose to the Gators, Will? Sure it is. Fuck you. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP shines down adoration with a +2 move up. 4 point weekend. Ten total on the season. Don't sleep on the BronieBitch.

Rhonda; Virginia 48, Duke 14. Beating up on the basketball school. Hey, I'm okay with that. My old boss thought Duke shit polished diamonds. His pain is my gain, the DoucheHandle. 1 for the win. +8 on the season. Why are you still hanging around, Bitch?

CCS; At number 6? God fucking DAMN it. Not supposed to happen. Lowly Tennessee goes down to Bama 35 - 13 but...Tua. Back in the operating room with the high ankle sprain. Ed Orgeron multiple orgasms. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. Stoogatz for the move up. +2 weekend. +7 total. Does anybody even understand what I'm talking about?

SeannieG; Oklamoha crushes WVU 52 - 14. Hmmm. What does it mean? 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, no love from the AP. +2 weekend. +5 season. You'd think they'd stop with the damn Schooner. Thing crashes every few weeks.

Obama; Les Miles is calling bullshit on the refs here, Brigshit. And wishing he was back at LSU. Texas bests Kansas 50 - 48. I don't know. Is the gas coming out of the Texas bag? Injury plague? It doesn't look good. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2. Season +5.

BroFro; What the fuck?! Georgia State 28, Army 21. Wow. Zeros across the board again. This is looking like a disaster pick. Just being honest. +3.  Thinking about how cool it would be to not be in the BRFL this year, Bro?

DPo; Washington State kills the Buffaloes 41 - 10. 1 for the win. Mike Leach. Like a car accident you can't look away from. +1 weekend. Brings you to zero on the season. For you that's progress. For you.

McLovin; Trevor Lawrence doubles down on his picks and throws 2 this weekend. Worrisome? Well, yeah. Clemson 45 over weak-ass Louisville 10. Big. Whoop. 1 for the win. Vengeful AP docks you minus 1. For, like, the 14th time this season your weekend didn't even happen. I slap a fat zero on your ass. Stay at minus one, Lil'Lovin.

SkHank; Oh, SkHank. Stanford eggheads slave over KJ Costello's inanimate corpse yet he does not play. And you continue to lose. 24 - 16 you go down to UCLA this weekend. Will your suffering never end? Christ Jesus I hope not. Zeros across the landscape for you, Amigo. Stay at minus 1.

Kitten; UCF pummels E. Carolina 41 - 28. Don't give up on the pussy. 1 for the win. Moves you to minus 5. Glad you joined the league, Kitten?

Snottie; scUM 21, PSU 28. Too little too late. I don't blame Ronnie Bell for dropping an unexpectedly accurate Shea Patterson toss. I blame Khaki Boy for squandering another winnable game. When are they going to wake up and burn this guy at the stake in Ann Arbor? Probably after you lose a ton of money. Hateful AP drops you 3. Minus 7 on the season. Your next loss is a REAM.

SockPuppet; 'Braska with the bye. Sheesh. Season of shame shaping up. Zeros in all columns (of course). Is there an "e' in Zeroes? Like I give a shit. You have minus 7. I don't know. Is this what doing life in a Turkish prison feels like? Maybe?

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life