Heismaniac 3.0 - The Kick to the Jewels Edition

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Fuck you, Teddy Roosevelt, and the horse you rode in on. The Rough Rider never played in the BRFL and he sure as shit didn't play Heismaniac. Here you get no credit for stumbling and getting back up. You don't earn no respect for erring in the ring of battle, your shortcomings will be exploited and mocked. Most of you will whine and say you don't understand the rules of Heismaniac. You don't want in on Heismaniac cuz, quite frankly, you just ain't got the stones for it. But here's the deal, the Commish is going to take your entry fee whether you plays or you don't plays. So strive valiantly, fucktards, this shit is on, it just got real, and it is lit.

Read the rules below, especially #6. Not sure why I bother mentioning it since you jackwagons are going to fuck it up anyway. Pick 3 dudes, 3 positions, 3 conferences. Your conference pick does not need to match your player's conference, you dig? Example: We are all picking Sasquatch Barkley as #1, but I'm hedging my bet and saying First Place: Barkley, RB, SEC. See what I did there? Yeah, blew your minds. Barkley is NOT in the SEC but just in case he doesn't win, I picked a different conference and maybe I pick up some points for doing that. Maybe not. I can do the same thing with the position. It's called strategery, you dopes. 

Your Heismaniac 3.0: The Kick to the Jewels Ballot Form:

	5pts	10pts	20 pts
	Conference	Position	Player
First	SEC	RB	Barkley	x3
Second	B1G	QB	McCringleberry	x2
Third	SEC	RB	Musberger	x1

Rules

#1. Pick the Conference the Heisman winner, runner up and third place dude come from.

Points: Picking the conference spot correctly gets you 5 points for third place, double points for second, triple points for first.

Example: I picked the Heisman winner comes from the B1G conference. If

he does, I get 15 points (5 for getting the conference and triple points for first place= 15 points).

Say I wiff on the first and second place finishers but the 3rd place winner is from

the SEC (even if it isn't Musberger). I get 5 pts x1 (for third place).

#2 Pick the Position of the winner/finalists

Same dillio. Maybe you only get the QB in 2nd place. 20 points.

#3 Pick the Playa. Get the winner right, 60 points!

#4. Most points wins. You can get player wrong and still get points for the position

or conference.

#5. Assuming 10 participants, payout is $60, $30, $10.

#6. As with all BRFL functions, an overriding concern is when you douches get "cute". We need to prevent your attempts at block voting, i.e. filling your ballot with all the same guy, same position

and same conference. Each "player" spot must be a different name; no conference can appear more than twice on your ballot and no more than two of the same positions can appear on your ballot. #7. As a BONUS, give me a list of 7 dudes that are getting named on ballots. Put them in order and I will start randomly awarding points - small points but valuable nonetheless since this may be a tie breaker. I decided it will be 2 points for every guy you get right who ends up in the top 7. Then 3 points for every guy you get in the right place.) Or it may be a backdoor way of me winning the whole thing. You will never know. That's the game of it.