BRFL Week 5 Results

Catch it, Doofus.

Randude; Say hello to your new LEADER. The Utes had a bye this week but the no drop point carries the Randmeister to 16 on the  season. Utes #20 in the AP.

DPo; Notre Dame demolishes Miami (OH) in South Bend, 52-17. That's a lot of Wimbush. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up to #22. 14 is the total.

SkHank; Problem with the ACC? Sooner or later you have to  play Clemson. Not a blow out but the Hokies take it in the pokie-hole 31-17 at home. Not a good look. AP smells shit. Drops VTech 4 to #16. Minus 4 on the weekend, SkUnk has 13 and he's thinking Liberace.

CockLock at #4.
SockPuppet; Miami 31-6 over Duke in a game that looked like it might be close for a half. Then, not so much. 12 for Sock.
Timmy! Meechy doesn't play. Gets the move up anyway to #7. Fuck you, AP. Teeba with 12. What did serial-masturbator Harbaugh do on the bye week? Can-openers into the Meechy diving pool with his clothes on. Look it  up on the Internet. I'm not posting that shit.

SausageFest at the 5th spot:
SeannieG; Penn State handles Indiana 45-14 in Bloomington. So sick of hearing about Saquon fucking Barkley. PSU stays at #4. SeaGra with 11.
ClemboSlice; Curb-stomping of Oregon State in Corvallis and the AP says, "meh". Wash U stays at #6, Clembo with 11. This is what is known as 'bullshit'. The AP leapfrogged Georgia up from God knows where in the poll to #5 for kicking the shit out of a bad Tennessee team. SEC madness is still around. At least Tennessee stayed classy.

Kitten; USF ass-hammers E Carolina on the road, 61-31. The Kitty moves to 9 points, USF to #18.

Snottie; Wisco slides by Northwestern in Madison 33-24. The AP fucking loves Wisconsin for some reason. Moves them up to #9. Snottie with 7.

McLovin'; Alabama hangs 66 on Ole Miss. Gives up 3. A real barn-burner in Tuscaloosa. McLovin climbs to 5. Alabama still #1. Only consolation: Nick Saban is going to hell when he dies.

Bro Fro; Boise. Bye week. Zero. Stay at 2. Questionable pick. Not too late to enter a Monestary.

KManBronie; Florida 38, Vandy 24 in Gainesville. Florida stays parked at #21. KBron has 1.

And now let's get negative.

Q: Kansas State over Baylor 33-20 in Manhattan. Get a point. Minus 5 for the Q. First step on the long road back? Doubtful.

Bridshit; Tragedy of the week. The wheels come off the Sam Darnold Heisman Train. Washington State 30, USC 27 in Pullman. Sam racks up a QB rating of 37.6 and goes 15/29 for 164 yds no TDs and 1 pick. His 9th INT on the season. Not a confidence builder. The AP is merciless. Express elevator going down minus 9. Suddenly the Killer Bee has minus 6.
Let me tell you about another Tool who has minus 6. Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life. Ohio State mauls Rutgers  in Piscattaway 56-naught. AP moves them up 1 to numbah 10. 'Bosuke nets 3 on the weekend. Minus 6 total.

CCS: Stanford snuffs Arizona State at home but shows amazing signs of life. Bryce Love runs wild again. Wild stallions must run free. 1 point for ShitPants. Mired in misery at minus 12. Chance for redemption on the horizon.

Feels like week 13. God damn it. Hating life.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life