Season 12, Week 1

It's on.

Season 12, Week 1.

Two games played last weekend:

Stanford gave Rice a rinsing, 62-7. Remember Christian McCaffrey? Me neither. Bryce Love, 180 yards on 13 carries. Do the math. CCS feeling so right.

USF Bulls trample,sort of, the Spartans from San Jose and put a smiley on Kitten. Quinton Flowers, 11-23, 212 yds, 2 TDs. Not a great completion percentage but it'll do.

Up next:

Ohio State @ Indiana. Thursday, 8/31, 8 PM, ESPN. The Bucks open with a Big Ten East game, on the road. This one counts, big time. It's in conference and in division. Indiana has a veteran QB and three receivers at 6'4". Ohio State returns one starter in the secondary. Not going to be a blow out in Bloomington.

Utah vs North Dakota in Salt Lake City, 8/31, 7:30 PM, PAC12Network. Payday.

Washington @ Rutgers. Friday, 9/1, 8 PM. Washington with multiple defensive suspensions this week. Still, Jennifer (aka ClemboSlice) gives the Scarlet Knights a paddling in Piscataway.

Wisconsin entertains Utah State in Madison, 9/1, 9 PM. You're fucking kidding me, Scott. Can you say 'payday game'?

Penn State hosts the Akron Zips in Happy Valley, Saturday, 9/2, noon, ABC. Paydaymus Suckus.

U of Miami vs Bethune-Cookman in Miami, 9/2, 12:30, ACCNetwork. Two embarrassing things here SockPuppet; Bethune-Cookman (p-p-p-pay-day) and you play in something called "Hard Rock Stadium". Bitch, please. Naming rights. So gay.

Michigan vs. Florida in Arlington, TX, 9/2, 3:30, ABC. Multiple suspensions for Florida vs Jim Harbaugh being a total dick about releasing his roster. Douche and Doucher.

Notre Dame vs Temple in South Bend, 9/2, 3:30, NBC. Guess NBC gets the shit games. Worth watching to see Brian Kelly have his weekly series of mini-strokes.

Boise State brings Troy to Boise, 9/2, 3:45, ESPNU. Damning BroFro's name every week because I have to go fishing for the Mountain West schedule.

USF Bulls  v Stony Brook, 9/2, 4 PM, ESPN2. Yes, Stony Brook has a team. They're called the SeaWolves. Come on, Kitten. Taking payday games to a new low.

USC hosts Western Michigan in LA. 9/2, 5:15 PM. Western Michigan, Bridshit? So payday.

Kansas State entertains Central Arkansas in Bill Snyder Family Stadium, Manhattan, Kansas. How odd is that? A stadium named after an active coach's family and a place called Manhattan. In Kansas. 9/2, 7:10 PM, ESPN3. This would invoke a 'payday'damnation if K State weren't so suspect.

Florida State vs Alabama in Atlanta, 9/2, 8 PM, ABC. Appropriately, these two sacks full of assholes and their fans are meeting in something called Mercedes-Benz Stadium. Naming rights. Don't like them.

West Virginia U vs Virginia Tech in Landover, Maryland, Sunday, 9/3, 7:30, ABC.

Stanford has a bye this week.

Yours truly,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life