A Dozen Weeks of this Bitchery

Hi.
I could give a fuck what happens this weekend.
My team, broken, beat down to shit and gone, injuries all the way to the three deep bone, has a bye.
Next week we play Texas, I think. They'll probably douche all over themselves this week so beating them won't matter because they won't be ranked. Woe. Pain. Suffering in the extreme. You all, all of you, suck.

(10) Florida State @ Maryland. Enjoy the ritual sacrifice, Chipn'Sore
Iowa @ (23) Michigan. Wait. Will somebody tell me who the assholes are that keep ranking Michigan? Everyone knows the Big Ten sucks this year, yet every time Michigan wins a game ( IN THE BIG 10) it's "OOOOh, Go BLUE!" Let's get McLovin" another Diddle. You deserve to lose to Iowa, Mike.
NC State @ (11) Clemson. No hesitation here. I hope you get your ass kicked in so far by the Wolf Pack that you have to stand on your head facing away from the toilet to urinate. Timmy. Suck, suck and suck again.
(6) The Ohio State University @ Wisconsin. Make no mistake, BRFLtards. Wisconsin is a team full of total dicks. Their coach is the biggest asshole in the Midwest. But this is 2012, the year God damned me to  hell and turned his fucking back on me, Big Time and Wisconsin is so hard to beat at  home that I am on the throne 5 or 6 times a day, cramping up and expelling things that I can't even begin to talk about because I know that Wisconsin is going to win this game and shit all over the Bucks perfect season. Hating.
(13) Oklahoma @ West Virginia. Eat SHIT, Bob Stoops. Good luck, Seannie Graham.
(2) Kansas State @ Baylor. Jesus of Nazareth could suit up for Baylor and they will still die like dogs. Kansas State is in a supernatural zone of nut-punching grace. They win. You're rich, Q.
Virginia Tech @ Boston College. ClemboSlice, I am so, so sorry. I don't blame you for wishing I had small pox.
TCU with the bye week. See above, MegaDouches.
(14) Stanford @ (1) Oregon. Mr. Clueless vs. Mr. RimProbe. Purely from a financial standpoint, got to see the DPist lose. Go Cardinal.
Arizona @ Utah. I think of you like fellow passengers on the Titanic must have thought about each other, ScumPuppet. I guess. Wasn't there.
Jacksonville State @ (7) Florida. Jacksonville State, Randingle? Wow. What a nail biter this one will be.
Ohio Bobcats @ Ball State in Muncie, Indiana. Going on right now. This is interesting. BroFro, you need to crush these guys hard. Go for two every time. On sides kicks. The works. Because next week you play Kent State, a ranked team. Knock those student-shooting,  national guard psycho shit bags off and you could end up ranked and in clover, my brother. BRFL speaking.

Best regards,

Jimbosuke

Future Lingerie Football Player

BRFL Results Week 11

Current Standings		Pts
Q-Spot		41
Randstain		34
D.Po		24
SkHank		23
Timmy!		20
Syph		15
Brofro		9
Sock Puppy		4
Commish		0
McLovin		0
SeaScrote		-8
Clemstain		-8
Snott		-11

Mikey gets the diddle and picks up 8 points. Now sits at 0 points. Sucking has never felt so good.

Q continues to stick it to the boys. She has $390 coming her way if it all plays out.

Scott is on the bottom looking up a the rest of the league. He's out $286. That's a lot of sucking.

GRIDIRON GURU - Season 7 - Week TWELVE

Week TWELVE GGers, and Q enters it with the lead, just like The BRFL

All games this week are on Saturday November 17, 2012
(Using AP rankings as the numbers shown)
Each game is a point, sweep all three and get 5 points.
Picks must be in by the Noon kick off for eligibility.

Noon  -  Northwestern  at  Michigan State  (on ESPN 2)

3:05 PM  -  #21 USC  at  #17 UCLA  (on Fox)

7 PM  -  #13 Oklahoma  at  West Virginia  (on Fox)


Good Luck Potential Sweepers,
TSP  

McLovin' Gets a Diddle

OT Win without Denard brings a smile to The Steaming Pile !!

Bama Goes Down

Because....all birds must DIE!

Check the carnage. I only shot one woodcock, both hen pheasants and 3 out of 4 ringnecks. But still. A nice bag. Brent Nicklas shot the rest, including a grouse. He has a really good dog, Briar. Great time of year for bird hunting, Lads. Ears are still ringing, Bras. Teeba, you would have had serious wood on this epic.
Serious. Wood.

ClemboSlice. Damn it.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2012/11/08/sports/ncaafootball/ap-fbc-t25-florida-st-virginia-tech.html?ref=ncaafootball&_r=0

I'd rank you. I'd give you a diddle after that performance, CSlice.
MIssed opportunities. Turnovers. Me spare you the cliches.
Chips n' Syph, Fl. State is really good. It pains me to say that.

Jimbosuke,
Full Service Commissioner for Life

Les Miles. An LSU fan rants.

http://www.rollbamaroll.com/2012/11/6/3607024/its-meltdown-time-week-lsu

Week 11 Preview, Bitchistanians.

And an extra hard, really hard, ass slap to each a you, Bitches. Slappity-slappity SLAP.

(8) Florida State @ Virginia Tech. ClemboSlice, Earth to ClemboSlice. This is your absolute last chance. Va Tech is tough in Blacksburg, on Thursday night, on ESPN. It's balls to the wall time, Clembo. Did I mention that? Plus, you're going against Chipn'Sniff. Do some damage, Clem.

Louisianna Lafayette @ (7) Florida. Randude cruises over Bayou 'tards. World suspects you suck, Rimdy.

(13) Oregon State @ (16) Stanford. Uh-oh, skHank. Beavs are settin' up to get busy chewing you a new asshole. Your butt's gonna' leave a skid mark 6 feet wide. We'd all love to see that. Rapture is what I describe.

Maryland @ (10) Clemson. Unless the Tigers get totally freaked out by Maryland's epic ugly unis this is an easy win for Rimmy!. Moves you one step closer to the biggest asshole I  know on planet earth, Rimbo.

(3) Kansas State @ TCU. Optimus Klein, aka Collin the Kansas Concussion Monkey, squares off against a bunch of beat to shit Toads held together by duct tape and crazy glue. I love me some college football!

Wisconsin @ Indiana. The annual contest for Sacagaweha's dildo. Who cares? Winner goes to the Big10 championship game, as ScoScreech points out. Shameful and pitiful and embarrassing, all at once..

Northwestern  @ Michigan. Notice the total lack of rankings when we talk about Big10 teams? Chicago-based eggheads vs ego-inflated Ann Arbor fancy lads. Dumb and Dumber.

Utah @ Washington. UW leading receiver suspended for drugs, alcohol and too much poon. Chuck, they could suspend the whole first team and Washington would still mop the floor with U. Roll, Huskies. Guess this means you'll be bitching about GG again this week? Sack up, Homes.

Oregon gets a bye as DPo fights bestiality charges in Otsego County Court. I agree with you, Drew. Calves are people. Just look into their eyes. You did NOTHING wrong.

West Virginia @ Oklahoma State. "Come after ME! I'm a MAN! I"m Forty! I'm goin' kick Seannie's ass all over Stillwater,Oklahoma!"

Bowling Green @ Ohio U. BroFro, BroFro. Miami of Ohio?! WTF, Homeskittle? So close. Fuck Frank Stollich. Hard. Go in dry, Brother.

Best regards,
Jimbosuke

BRFL Results- Week 10

SeaDouche gets the ream.

Current Standings		Pts
Q-Spot		38
Randstain		32
D.Po		21
Timmy!		20
SkHank		19
Syph		16
Brofro		9
Sock Puppy		4
Commish		0
SeaScrote		-8
Clemstain		-8
McLovin		-8
Snott		-12

Top 3

$371	$293	$150
Q-Spot	Randstain	D.Po

Next 3

$137	$124	$85
Timmy!	SkHank	Syph

Next Next 3

$(6)	$(71)	$(123)
Brofro	Sock Puppy	Commish

Them Who Sucketh

$(227)	$(227)	$(227)	$(279)
SeaScrote	Clemstain	McLovin	Snott

GRIDIRON GURU-SEASON SEVEN-WEEK ELEVEN

GG-7
Week 11
All games are on Saturday November 10, 2012
One point each game, all three right sweeps for five points
To be counted, pick by the 3:30 kick off of the first games

3:30 PM    #15 Texas A&M  at  #1 Alabama  (on CBS)

3:30 PM    West Virgina  at  Oklahoma State  (on ABC & ESPN2)

7 PM       #3 Kansas State  at  TCU  (on Fox)

Hey, The GG Results and Standings Are Published

SCROLL DOWN UNDER THE GG WEEK 10 HEADING

Saturday Live Bitchfeed

14:09 and the Gators are tied 7 apiece with Missouri. Pucker factor, Randoucher?

14:10 Stanford just underway with lowly Colorado. 0-0.

14:31 end o' the third. Tigers knocking on the door @ the Florida 27, tied 7 all.
         The Cardinal up 7-0 on the Bison.

14:32 INTERCEPTION. Florida takes it away, 42 yard return and they set up shop in Mizzu territory.

14:38 Driskell bombs it to Gillislee 45 yards for the TD. 14-7 Gators. Randog, breathe. Breathe.

14:49 Bullard with the huge ten yard sack on third down. Mizzou punts it away. 9:45 in the 4th.
          Stanford 14-0 on Colorado. I smell beat down.

14:55 Florida punts from their 5. Mizzu takes over on the Gator 42. 7:21 in the 4th.

15:05 Franklin tosses another INT. Looks like Florida is going to take this one home.

15:13 Phillips misses the FG from the Mizzu 7. What a DOUCHEBAG. Mizzu will get on more chance with       1:53 remaining and two time outs. 93 yards to go to OT.

15:20 54 seconds and Mizzu is on the Fla 32 yard line.

15:22 Franklin: Pick Machine. Another Fla. INT. This one's over. Randoogle survives.
          Stanford 28, Colorado 0. A snoozer.
          Michigan whupping up on Minnesota. Little Brown Jug heading to Ann Arbor.

I'm out, Bitches.

PS: 19:18 PM:  Ahoy, Bitches Bitches! TCU 39, fucking WVU Retards 38. I smell REAM, Seannie Graham! Hallelujah. Maybe my season ain't over. Texas over Texas Tech. McLovin' the Genius. A yard of cock and a pail full of balls, to quote Mike Gifford. Kudos to you, Chuck Norris. Ain't this league somethin'?!

Citizens of Bitchopolis, Hear Me.

Week 10, Men.

Missouri @ (8) Florida: ZuckDoodle soils himself (majorly) last week and barely registers an AP wound.
What gives? RDouche "servicing" AP voters? 10 dollah sucky?  Mizzu the team the ZyphSore cut his teeth on. "W".
(15) Stanford @ Colorado. SkHank numbah 10. 5 dollah sucky-fucky. Cardinal cruises over prairie oysters.
TCU @ (23) West Virginia. SeaScrote, I'm hating. Where's the justice? Where's the dignity? SHIT.
(10) Clemson @ Duke. Duke does't lay down. Some Dabo-Wabo sauce will fix that. Rimmy! rock on.
(2) Oregon @ (18) USC. Hmmm. Awesome offensive juggernaut vs. Kiffin-crippled Barkley JockLickers.  Still, Trojans have Marquis Lee, or whatever his name is. Can the Troymen get their shit together for the signature win of the FartSniffinKiffin era? D Po says no.
Oklahoma State @ (3) Kansas State. Okie State's no pushover. Q lays down an extra blast of CosmicVaginyte Rays and sends them home cryin' in the tumbleweeds.
Michigan @ Minnesota. A tilt between nobodies with the Little Brown Jug at stake. Only McLovin' cares one tiny turd about this game. McLovin' and ... Chuck Norris.
Washington State University @ Utah. Loss, ChuckMeHard. Your season on life support nears an end.
Wisconsin, idle.. Thank GOD, ScoDunk.
Florida State U idle. Chipn'Sniff not paying attention? Don't believe it, Sinners.
Virginia Tech @ Miami (FL). ClemboSlice, is it too late? Never, Dude. Play old fashioned Beamer ball. Give the Hurricanes a mighty old Virginia thrashin'. You play in the ACC. It's never. Too. Late.
Eastern Michigan @ Ohio University. How the fuck did you lose to Miami of Ohio, BroFro? It was all right there, in the palm of your hand. Undefeated. BCS buster talk. Glory. And riches. Don't forget the riches.  Now, no-name games against the likes of Eastern Michigan. Pukazoid.

That's it. I'm gettin' my couch on.

Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life