BRFL Week 8 Results

Some major shit went down this weekend.

BroFro and the Smurf-Turfers escaped with a 28-27 "win" over BYU. Mormonism vs. Idaho Nazi SkinHeads. Tough to want anyone to win this one. The Bro snags three points and steps to the head of the class with 28. #13 in the AP.

Louisville pounds the ever living shit out of North Carolina State, 54-13. 2 point move up the AP to #5 makes it a 4 point weekend for SeaDawg. 27 points. What ever happened to Heismaniac, DDouche?

CCS logs 4 points as the Huskies move up to #4 after a 41-17 drubbing of the Oregon State Beavers. Chipster logs 23 BRFL points. He also has a serious boner for the Liberace.

KGenderConfusion had the bye. Gators move up one anyway so it's two on the weekend for Komronette, #14 in the AP and 21 points in the BRFL.

Teebs! is sitting on arguably the best team in college football. scUM swats away the hapless Illini 41-8 and I have no idea how they got 8. The #1 defense in the country. #2 in the AP. 20 points in the BRFL. This is what rapture feels like, Timmy.

Q. I feel your pain. TOSU's O-line takes the night off. So, too, do most of their special teams units. Penn State 24, TOSU 21. PENN FUCKING STATE!? I failed to put up my usual weeks's worth of Joe Paterno hate. I'm sorry, Q. I blame myself. Still, #6 in the AP. 13 BRFL points, losing 4 on the drop from #2 to #6. Square this shit away, Urban.

Randilingus continues to drill down to the depths of despair as Miami is humbled by Virginia Tech 37-16. Mark Richt is just not working out for the 'Canes. Unranked and dead as a smelt. 8 BRFL points.

McLuvin'. Clemson. Dabo Douche. Bye week. AP moves you up one. Fuck you. 2 point weekend. 8 BRFL points. You are ranked #3 in the AP but I have no idea why.

SuckPuppet. Tennessee with the bye. There is a merciful God. Let's not pretend that your team is doing anything but going down the tubes.You are #18 in the AP, solely on the merits of playing in the SEC. You have 2 points in BRFL world. They won't last.

Snottie. FSU has a bye. As if anyone were paying attention to what FSU "has" or, more significantly, doesn't have. Your team is a flimsy fake Indian on a horse made of paper thin shit. The AP has you at #12, because the AP is really, really stupid. You have one BRFL point.

Now, let's go negative.

SkHank. Why does your team suck so very much? Oregon 49, Cal 52 in double OT. Remember when Oregon used to win games like this? Probably you don't because you are so incredibly clueless. You're unranked. You have minus 2 BRFL points. Is this your fourth straight loss?

DPo. The unpardonable sin of picking Iowa dogs you like a starving hyena. Iowa 9, Wisconsin 17. How was this game this close? Did the entire Wisconsin squad develop tertiary syphillis overnight? Iowa sucks. You are unranked and hanging out at, oh, negative 6. No end in sight for your shittiness.

Killer Bee. Redemption song. Leonard Fournette is not ready to lay down. LSU blisters Ole Miss 38-21. Chad Kelly eyes a career flipping burgers. There is a light on in Baton Rouge. Ed Orgeron, your new Messiah. LSU jumps 6 in the AP to #19, you haul in an 8 point weekend and stand tall at -7.
Train keep a rollin'.

'BoSucky. West Virginia rolls the Frogs 34-10 in Morgantown. There is little to hope for. Smothered by what passes for defense in Morgantown and another 30+ gashing of a non-existent Texas Christian "defense". This would be funny if it were happening to someone else. A horrible lesson in how to make a bad BRFL pick. TCU unranked, which goes without saying, but, at negative 13, on pace to pay out an epic sum in losses come this August.

ClemboSlice. The purple-faced madman, Brian Kelly, gets a bye and, unbelievably, a contract extension of sorts. Only Catholics could exist in such a world of senseless denial and I can say that because I'm Catholic. Notre Dame unranked, as they should be. Burrowing into the muddy bottom of the BRFL pond at minus 17, much like a catfish.

Standings:

BroFro 28
SeaScum 27
CCS 23
KFluffer 21
Teebs! 19
Q Woman 13
Randingle 8
MsLuvin' 8
SuckLongTime 2
Snout +1
Chancre -2
DPussy -6
Killer B -7
JimboSucky -13
ClamFace -17

Yours sincerely,
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life