"Get your damn cat off my arrow"
Sometimes shit just don't go your way. Second thoughts. We all got 'em. Went bareback on the tranny whore? Probably want to rethink that move, Hoss. Voted for Obama? Twice? Yeah, I feel your pain. Take the whole cheese wheel in the BRFL and then skip out on the next year's draft? That's like receiving a reach around and not having the common courtesy to say thank you. Ooooh, bad stuff, that. Had 120 teams to pick from and you "followed your gut" and went with the team on probation cuz they are "playing for pride"? How'd that work out for you? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Until now, your only choice was to abandon the league and wait for the final bill to arrive in the mail. Four months of self loathing. Four months thinking about Randy manhandling your anus, that smug shit scoring totally fat stacks, yo. Your fat stacks. Four months of wondering why you didn't cut Jimbosuke out of your life years ago. That is about to change. Not the part about wondering why you haven't cut Jimbosuke out of your life, but there is a lifeline being tossed your way. It ain't attached to nothing, but it is a nice rope.
Shortly after Lacavapalooza, with the taste of Jim's delicious, warm meat still in my mouth, Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life, long may his ineptitude bring mirth, asked me to fire up my prodigious cerebellum, long may it... Squirrel!, and get to cipherin' a methodology to give the cellar dwelling douchebags among ye a second chance to gain points and ease your pain. And thus, behold the afterbirth squeezed from my trembling loins.
You sent Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life, long may he think we would still come to his house even if there wasn't alcohol and pie, your second draft pick. If you didn't, I don't know what your problem is. I can't help you. Really. But for those of you who toed the line, the Second Thoughts Draft works like this: You don't do anything. That's it. But in the background, unseen by the great unwashed masses, the BRFL brain trust will labor away Just for you. Here's what we are doing:
1. We will track your second pick.
2. At the final poll, we will see if your team rose in the poll.
3. If your Second pick started unranked and finished ranked, we will give you the diddle.
4. No points for bowls, just points for rising in the poll and getting a diddle.
5. We will tally the total points and if your team has the most points, we will award you 5 points to your BRFL tally. If you have the second-most points, you get 3 bonus BRFL points, third most points, 1 single lame-ass BRFL bonus point.
Now excuse me, time for my fetal position drill.
Go fuck yourselves.
