The League, so far, is heavily weighted toward the losers. The bottom three all currently owing over $200 with Runny McAssburn chiming in with a $323 chit. Q continues her imperious reign over the XX chromosomes. SkHank takes a tumble as Stanford inexplicably drops one to Washington. Lots of teams won but looked weak. Sleepless nights ahead. Real season begins next week.
To usher in the month GG will be "Five-Fest" this week, Week Six.
Five Games, with scoring potential as follows:
One point per game, but:
Get 3 games right and you get 5 points,
Get 4 games correct and you get 7 points,
and ... Nail ALL FIVE games, and you add TEN POINTS to your total in the standings!
Games for Week Six GG-7:
ALL GAMES ARE ON SATURDAY OCTOBER 6th, 2012
Choices have to be entered before kick off of the Noon game.
Noon - #24 Northwestern at Penn State (on ESPN)
3:30 PM - #4 LSU at #10 Florida ( on CBS )
7 PM - #5 Georgia at #6 South Carolina ( on ESPN )
I hereby make a proposal to the league to consider a MULLIGAN option for wayward BRFLers who suffer from severe regret with their pick.
For a suitable penalty fee ( set by league input ), a BRFLer could say goodbye to their poor decision in the draft and start fresh with a new team beginning with a zero point total. The penalty fee would go into a pool to be additional money paid to the winner and runner up on a 70/30 split.
Banter? Disgust at my self-serving desparation? Vomit?
With grateful appreciation to Mind Freak for this masterpiece from FFL days. Word, Mind.
Week 5 Preview:
BroFro: making it happen in the MAC. 4-0 Bobcats. Taking on UMass on the road. 9/29 @3:30 on ESPN3 if you want to see these boys run their spread option attack.
SkHank: (8) Stanford @ Washington. 9PM Thursday. Potential trap game for skHanker.
(25) Baylor @ (9) WVU. Gino Smith thinking "Heisman" and SeaGra thinking "Time share in the Bahamas".
(17) Clemson @ Boston College. Timmy! worried about a typical Clemson implosion? Not against BC.
(4) Florida State @ South Florida. Sypheroo looking special this year. EJ Manuel Heisman watch.
(15) TCU @ SMU. I'm a turtle. I crawl along. Steady. Forward. Progress. Pound the Ponies, move on.
Wisconsin @ (22) Nebraska. Bo Pellini is totally psychotic. He can lose a game like this. The power of prayer should never be underestimated, ScoReam.
(2) Oregon @ Washington State. D Po living large. Ducks looking unbeatable except by criminal charges or sudden coaching sex scandal.
Kansas State idle. Q stands for "Queen of the BRFL".
Virginia Tech @ Cincinnatti. Um....WIN. ClemboSlice preps for his comeback.
Michigan idle. McLovin' licks wounds.
Utah idle. SockPuppet punches holes in walls.
Florida idle. Randouche drinks, dances and tells everyone he knows how easy the BRFL is.
Even though I inhabit the lowest dank and slimy levels of both GG and the BRFL ( a new record? ), at least I can hold on to the solace that in less than a week I can legally kill large New York State mammals with a bow and arrow....so I got THAT going for me....which is nice.
GG-7 Week 5 Match Ups:
Noon Saturday Sept 29, 2012: #25 Baylor AT #9 West Virginia (on Fx)
3:30PM Saturday Sept 25, 2012: #14 Ohio State AT #20 Michigan State (on ABC)
8PM Saturday Sept 25, 2012: Wisconsin AT #22 Nebraska (on ABC)
Picks must be posted to The BRFL Blog by kick off of the first game for eligibility.
Stay coherent my friends,
The Broadhead Sharpening Steaming Pile
McLovin' gets reamed. Hard. If the season ended today, the Runny Pile would be out $315. And look at Q-gasm running away with the whole she-bang. SkHank thinks the season is already over. Tell him he lost $275. Can't wait for Randi to get what she got coming. Clemstain, Scodouche and McLovin' in a three-way anal manfest at the bottom. Good.
Commish and Steaming Pile
Second Thoughts? Jimsukwad was thinking Notre Dame before he hopped on the Horned Toad pick. Probably worried the Catholics would send another undergrad up on the elevated crane in a thunderstorm. Touchdown Jeebus only protects those who suit up on Saturdays. Had he rubbed his rosary a little harder and he'd be sitting on 27 points right now and we'd all be hatin' on him a lot more.
McLovin's second choice was Louisville. He'd be sitting at 17 points. He is at -19. With the new maths that the kids are doing these days, that'd be a 36 point swing. That's serious. If it was me, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Man, i feel bad for you. You must feel really, really stupid. Discuss.
Hard to believe this is the author of the legendary BRFL theme song: "Stranglehold".
That was, alas, pre-kidney stone.
And before the fucked up hat.
Vagina @ TCU (17). Go Horny Toads.
Maryland @ West Virginia (8). Damn you, SeaDouche. Anger.
Kentucky @ Florida (14). RandginaDischarge, the BRFL owes you money and shirts. Address?
(18) scUM @ Notre Dame (11). Fucking god damn it to hell I should have gone with the Catholics. I hate myself so much. Cutting behavior. Fuck you, World. Lose like a BITCH, McLovin.
(15) Kansas State @ Oklahoma (6). I want to have your baby, Q.
(10) Clemson @ Florida State (4). Clash of the ManWhores.
Utah @ Arizona State. So boring, SockSpooge. Long season. Festering boils have more appeal.
UTEP @ Wisconsin. I'd rather watch soccer, ScoLoser. Rectal itch. Chronic.
Ohio BobCunts @ Norfuck State. Sick of your team's lame schedule, PubeFace.
Bowling Green @ Virginia Twat. ClemboSlice, so disappointing. Blow out of Bowlers fools no one. Reality time, NetherHole. Doomation, Giggle-dink.
Arizona (22) @ Oregon (3). Non event, totally weak, DPoon with the world's most sedating pick.
Stanford idle. World in awe of skHank. Too bad he's so clueless. If a dog farts in the forest and there's no one there to smell it, does it still stink? I fucking KNOW so.
Three weeks in, there is some crazy symmetry happenin' in the standings. The last two in the draft are the first two in the standings. The first two pickers are the last two in the standings. The top 4 all picked in teh bottom half of the draft. It's like birth order. The last born are vastly superior. The first born are a great disappointment. Then we have the Jan Bradys of the League. These middle children - picks 4, 5, 6, 7,- are 5, 6, 7, 8 in the standings, failing to distinguish themselves in any meaningful way.How did you do? If your variance is negative, you have underperformed in the draft. Positive, and you're a draft guru. Draft order seems to have an inverse correlation to performance.
Draft
Week 3
Variance
SkHank
12
1
11
Randvagitis
13
2
11
Q-spot
8
3
5
Timmer
9
4
5
Syph-Ahoy
6
5
1
Seadouche
7
6
1
Commish
5
7
-2
D.Po
4
8
-4
Pube-fro
3
9
-6
Sock
11
10
1
McLovin
10
11
-1
Clemstain
2
12
-10
Scrote
1
13
-12
Pictures? Picture. If your ass is above the red line, you done good. Below it, not so much.
Wake Forest @ Florida State (5). Wake not the favorite, Syph.
(16) TCU @ Kansas. Horned Toads play someone with name recognition. Who sucks.
(13) Virginia Tech@ Pitt. Pittsburgh looked good last week. Smell the glove, ClemboSlice. Or not.
Furman @ (11) Clemson. Another tough one, huh, Timmy! So gay.
Tennessee Tech @ Oregon (4). Same to you only double, D Homo.
James Madison @ (9) W. Virginia. C'mon! Fucking James Madison?! Play somebody, SnotGra.
U Mass @ Michigan. Planning on giving up over 300 yards to these pussies too, McLovin'?
(18) Florida @ (23) Tennessee. I hear your butthole slamming shut, Randpooper. Lots of Gator Haters want to see you lose. I can think of 12 people putting the hex on you at this very moment.
(2) USC @ (21) Stanford. At least it's a homegame, skHank. USC is beatable. But by the Cardinal? Maybe.
(25) BYU @ Utah. BYU? The same fuckers who won ten games last year and never got ranked? Thus losing me fifty dollars? Another Mormon Tabernacle Twat Twiddle and financial fuck-over for SockPukie. Voyage to the bottom of the sea, Chuckeroo.
North Texas @ (15) Kansas State. Duh, WINNING!?!
Utah State @ Wisconsin. Bret Suckaleema probably thought this was a payday game when it was scheduled. Now he's camped in the film room eating cold pizza and pooping in a garbabe can. Prayer. Lots of it, ScoDeepSea.
Ohio U Bobcats @ Marshall. BroFro, every week I have to go to the Ohio U website and look up who they're playing. I don't like doing this. Fuck you.
(Metaphorical reference to Q-Spot being on top. Not actually her. I think.)
Gratuitous side boob for recreational purposes only.
Current Standings
Pts
Q-Spot
11
Randstain
8
Timmy!
7
Clemstain
7
Commish
7
Syph
6
SeaScrote
5
D.Po
4
SkHank
3
Brofro
2
Sock Puppy
1
McLovin
-7
ScoReam
-17
Summary? Summary:
Q-Spot's men of Manhattan open up a can on the thugs of South Beach. When the bitch slappin' is over, Q picks up 8 points. North Texas next. Cruise control.
Randvag inexplicably picks up 8 after Flo Rida squeaks out a win over Texas A& M. Shoulda been a loss. Can't stand seeing Randwang near the top of the leader board. He must fail. Next week Tennessee. There is hope. This is Flo Rida. He's pointing.
I can still taste Barb's pie and we already have ourselves a ream. ScoReam's Wisky Badgers go down on the Beavers and get ScoReam ass-pounded for -17. And the sloppy seconds from McLovin left him an itchy, red bumpily rash. Yeesh. Should've made an original pick. The Badger bitch was ridden hard and put away wet last season. They lose an NFL starting QB and you think its a great idea to pick them? Probably no teams left by the time you were on the clock. Wait. First pick? Wisconsin? The one with no QB?
Get yourself a payday loan, mofo. What the fuck is wrong with those Ryan boys?
This is Sock Puppet. Sock Puppet is sad.
I couldn't have been the only one who peed himself a little when I saw Utah lost to Utah State. Mormon on Mormon action. These are Mormons:
Utah v Utah State. Mormonius Clusterfuckius. Socky Focky. 5 dollah.
Qspot: K State (21) v Miami. Money so easy it's sick. Get some pictures of dead baby seals, okay?
Clemson (14) v Ball State. Really, Timmy? Ball State? Don't tell us you're gay if that becomes an issue.
Va Tech (15) v Austin Peay. Timmy! out-douchebagged in the pay-day game dept. ClemboSlice!
Michigan (19) v Air Force. McLovin', you are absolutely screwed royal. Batter dipped shit season.
Florida (24) v Texas A&Ream. RandChancre popped by AgDouches.
Wisco (13) v Oregon State. Badgers butt-stabbed by Beavs. Sorry, ScoSyph.
Florida SemenBank (6) v Savannah State. ChipSTD, please. You disgust me. Totally.
Oregon (4) v Fresno State. Who's the dill-hole who took Oregon? I forgot. Go to HELL.
Grambling State v TCU (20). I am a beautiful human being. I love me some ME.
Duke v Stanford (25). Hello, Ream Land. Meet skHank.
Ohio U v New Mexico State. BroSlut Bobcat. Smell my fingers.
W.Virgina Cornholers with the bye week, SeaScrote? Shell fish poisoning can be fatal. Just mentioning.
Puke-a-zoid. Boring, boring season so far. Try to do better, FagMagnets.
Timmy! holds the tenuous lead with SeaScrote. But there are sleepless nights when you ride the Clemson pony. Clemson is Clemson and if you don't know what that means, you haven't been paying attention. Chillax, your wallet will tell you exactly what it means. Can WVU mine the Big 12 for some victories? SeaScrote hopes so. Dunno, Big 12 ain't the Big East. Those finesse offenses work against the weaker squads, comically ineffective against teams playing Manball. Just ask Denard. Speaking of..
There are some worried Mofos after the end of week 1. McLovin , if the season ended today, would owe $156. And its gonna get worse. You picked a #8 team that will go 7-5. Upside? Two points for the Little Seizures Motor City Bowl. Buh bye.
