GG, Body Count.

Greetings, BRFLers,

For those GGers out there, here's how the contest shook out this year. GG continues to maintain a death-grip on a small but fanatical subset of the BRFL. I salute you.

Brothers and sisters;

And so it came to pass that on the final round of Bowls, GG Bowls Round 8, the Commissioner, blessings and good tidings be upon him, seemed to, basically, walk off the job. No results were ever posted in the final round, GG Bowls 8, Here they are;

It was week 21, and BroFro did indeed prove untouchable.

TOSU bested Obama's Wash U Huskies 28 - 23.
Texas dropped Georgia 28 - 21 surprising everyone but Seannie Graham.
And Clemson (CCS) put the wood to Bama (McLovin) 44 - 16 to win the Natty.

BroFro walks away with the cheese. Picked up one point to go to 55.
CCS comes in at #2. 2 points in week 21 and he ends with 51. Only a sweep could have saved him and, well, no.
KBronie pulls in with 1 point and helps out the Commissioner by avoiding the dreaded third place tie. Ends the season with 49.

The rest are, basically, losers.
Seannie with 48,
McLovin with 48,
Randi with 45,
Obama with 45,
DThong with 44,
BoSuckie with 43 and SockPuppet, who threw in the towel somewhere during bowl season, 34.

One recalls that the entry fee for GG is 20 bucks.
Winner gets 70% of 200 (total purse is 200 and third place gets their 20 bucks back).
That's 140 bucks for BroFro.
$40 for CCS.
And $20 back to KBronie.

Nice tight race all the way down the line. Lot of shit talk. Just the way it should go.
Comments?

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

BRFL Season 12, Wrap Party

"Ivanka cooked all of this. Is she a piece of ass or what?"

BRFL Season 12, Wrap Party;

This is what you get when you win the Natty and visit the White House these days; You get fucking McDonald's still in the wrapper and "dipping sauce" in silver tureens. You would think he could do more for a team whose colors mimic his hair but, hey, if you haven't learned to lower your expectations by now well, just fuck you.

Speaking of lowered expectations here's the results of this year's BRFL bloodbath. I will hold off on the horrific details of just how much cash people lost until the accountants review the figures.

CCS; Clemson. A staggering 19 points in the playoff run, 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up to #1 and it's a total of 47 points to take home the Cheese. Congratulations, Brohime.
Randi; LSU 40, UCF 32 and that spelled doom for your Winner's Circle Wet Dream. Minus 4 from the AP up your bunghole and you finish with 39.
McLovin'; 'Bama douches out and gets curb stomped in the finale. 7 for your semi-final win, minus 1 for the drop, 6 to your 26 and you end with 32. The AP only drops you 1 for getting annihilated in the most boring Natty since Florida kicked the shit out of TOSU? Seem fair? Of course not.
BroFro; Strong finish. 28-23 over Wash U in the Rose Bowl. 3 for the win, AP says, "hey, hey" and moves the Buckeyes up 2, 6 point total you have 32 final. Another tussle over the Liberace.
Timmy the Bold; Florida 41, Meechy 15. AP drops you 6. You end the season with 21.
Obama; Lost to TOSU in the Rose. Still. AP only drops you 4. You finish with 15. Is this your best finish so far? I think so.

Kitten; A sick, weird finish for the Broncos. Bowl game cancelled. You was robbed. 1 for the no drop. End with 14. Fucked over.
Q; Going out on a high note by stomping on your husband's testicles. Oregon 7, Michigan State 6. 3 points for the bowl win. You end the season with 12.
Snottie; Blanked by Virgina, 28 - 0. South Carolina now a legendary bad pick. You got stoogatz. Finish with 7.
DPo; Arizona so amazingly shitty they didn't go to a bowl. You end the season with 5. One of the worst picks I've ever seen. Do you even watch college football, like, ever?
SuckPuppet. Mississippi State lose to Iowa. LOSES TO IOWA. The AP puts the nose of your aircraft straight fucking down and you drop 7 right the hell out of the AP poll and earn an end o' season REAM! Minus 12 bowl season for you and you finish up with 4 total BRFL points. Not very good at all.

________________________________________________________________________


SkHank; The shit smell of Stanford is in the air. Somehow you manage to sneak by Pitt 14-13 for a 3 point bowl win and end the season with Minus 2. God how I hate you.
BoSucky; Florida State an idiot pick. So fucking stupid. Rewarded by not going to a bowl. End my Season of Shame with a puny minus 6. Really, really pitiful.
SeannieG; Awful. MooU can only manage 2 field goals and loses to hapless Oregon. You are, like, totally emasculated and now must deal with the inevitable erectile dysfunction. Just remember, Jesus loves you. Though, to be truthful, everybody I've talked to that I could actually see hates the shit out of you. Minus 9 is your fate. Stupid, stupid pick.
KBronieManWoman. Wisconsin pulls one out of their collective ass and snuffs Miami 35 - 3, breaking Mark Richt into tiny pieces that don't add up to a whole man. He "retires" and you get 3 for the bowl win. So, really, it could have been worse for you this season. You finish dead last at minus 15. Luckily there is a robust Food Bank in Otsego County. As for the kids? Listen, in the 19th century kids started working when they were 7 years old. Totally normal.

Old times were good times.

Bitches.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

GG Bowls, Round 7 Results

GG Round 7 Results:

Mississippi State dumped by Iowa, 27 - 22.
LSU snuffs the UCF candle, 40 - 32. Enough with 'the streak' talk.
Kentucky, yes, Kentucky drops Penn State 27 - 24. Not just a basketball school anymore, I guess.

BroFro, 1 to go to 54. Unassailable?
CCS, 1 to go to 49. Not impossible.
KBron, 1 to go to 48. Please, not another tie for second.
SeannieG, Naught! Stay at 46. Penn State?! Really?
McSuckin, just exactly what is it with this asshole? SWEEP  to go to 47. Three out of the last 4 GGs this fucker has swept. Not happy about it.
Randi, Naught! Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Stay at 44.
Obama, 1 to go to 44.
DThong, 1 to go to 44.
'BoSuke, 1 to go to 42. As if it matters.
SuckPuppet, in a bar somewhere, in despair, 34.

Jimbosuke

GG Bowls Round 6 Results

GG Bowls Round 6 Results:

Stanford takes down Pittsburgh in a ridiculously bad game, 14 - 13.
Meechy State loses to Oregon in a game almost as bad, 7 - 6.
Northwestern surprises Utah, 31 -20.

BroFro: 2 to go to 53. Getting separation.
CCS; 2 to go to 48. Still needing  sweep.
Kbron; 2 to get to 47 as Utah lets him down.
SeanieG; 1 to go to 46 as Sparty shits the bed, and so do the Utes.
Randi; 1 to 44. Looking grim.
Obama; Back on track with 2 to go to 43..
DThong. 2 to go to 43.
McSuckin; 1 to land at 42.
BoSucky; You're fucking kidding me. Zero. It's over. 41.
SuckPuppet has surrendered. 34.

Jimbosuke

GG Bowls, Number 5 Results

Burn, Bitches.

GG Bowls, Number 5 Results:

South Carolina, disappointing finish to a shitty season: 28 - 0, shut out by the Cavs.
Clemson humiliates Notre Dame, 30 - 3 in a snoozer.
Alabama bests Oklahoma 45 - 34 and it wasn't really that close.

Grinding on,

BroFro, 2 to go to 51. Fooled by South Carolina sucking. A common theme.
CCS, 2 to go to 46.
KBronie, 2 to go to 45.
SeannieG, a measley 1 to go to 45.
Randi, 2 to go to 43.
Obama, no entry. Never take your eye off the ball, BridgTurd. 41.
BoSucky, pitiful 1 to go to 41. Can  you say, 'done'?
DThong, 2 to go to 41.
McSuckin, what the fuck is it with this Tool? SWEEP, again. That's two in a row. 5 to go to 41. Could this Bitch suddenly be a Player?
SuckPuppet, no entry again. I see total capitulation here. 34.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

GG Bowls, Round 4 Results

GG Bowls, Round 4 Results.

It's been a long season.

Purdue nuked by Auburn. 63-14, Plainsmen.
Syracuse dumps West Virginia 34 -14. The 'Cuse is...back?
Florida destroys Michigan 41 -15.

BroFro with 2 to go to 49. Boned by the Maize and Blue.
CCS only one but moves up to 44.
SeannieG grabs a deuce and a share of second place with 44.
KBronie picks up 2 and takes it to 43.
BridgTurd Obama gets 2 to move to 41.
Randi with 2 to go to 41.
'BoSucky has 2 more to get to 40.
DThong with just one to sit at 39.
SuckPuppet no entry. I sense despair. 34.
McSuckin with, what the FUCK?! SWEEP. 5 to go to 36.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Double UP GGpocalypse, New Year's Six

Double Up GGpocalypse

Closing out GG with a double header on New Years Day and Jan 7. Two groups of three games each. Standard format: 1 for the win, 5 for the sweep. Double sweep nets you ten points.

Round 7:

Mississippi State (#18) v Iowa Hawkeyes
Noon ESPN2
Tampa, FL

LSU (#11) v UCentralFlorida (#8)
1 PM, ESPN
Glendale, AZ

UKentucky (#14) v Penn State (#12)
1 PM ABC
Orlando, FL

Round 8:

Washington Huskies (#9) v THE Ohio State University (#6)
5 PM ESPN
Pasadena, CA

Texas Longhorns (#15) v Georgia Bulldogs (#5)
8:45 PM ESPN
New Orleans, LA

MONDAY, Jan 7:

Clemson (#2) v Alabama (#1)
8 PM ESPN
Santa Clara, CA

Roll the bones twice, My People.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Bowlapalooza Round 6

Surfs up, Amigos!
Two out of Three bowls in Cali on NYears Eve.
(Never mind that this picture was taken in a tiny village in Portugal where they routinely get 70 foot killer waves.)

GG Bowlapalooza Round 6:

All 12/31 games.

Stanford v Pittsburgh
2 PM CBS
El Paso, TX

Michigan State v Oregon,
Seannie G v Q,
3 PM Fox
Santa Clara, CA

Northwestern (#22) v Utah (#17)
7 PM  FSI
San Diego, CA

Roll the bones.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Bowl Results, Round 3

GG Bowls, Round 3 Results;

Boise State v Boston College cancelled. And, no, I don't know what the fuck happened here. Last I saw BC was up 7 to naught in the first quarter and everything was going along just fine. Then, cancelled. Bone job on the Kitten. Could have maybe picked up three points for the win. Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda, Kitten. The BRFL has no mercy. For anyone.

Minnesota 34, Georgia Tech 10. Didn't see this one coming. Maybe another indication of how much the ACC sucks?
Cal 7, TCU 10. This one played out like it was meant to. Two good defenses, two horrid offenses. TCU with the win.

So, uh, no sweeps. SeannieG was the only one who got the Minnesota pick right.

BroFro with a goose-egg. Stay at 47.
CCS gains one to go to 43. Moving up.
SeannieG with a deuce, moves up to 42 and grabs third place.
KBron continues the downward spiral with 1 to go to 41.
BridgturdObama with zero to stay at 39.
Randi craps out with zero to stay at 39.
'BoSucky with 1 to go to 38. On life-support.
DThong with 2 to go to 38, hanging on by his fingernails.
SuckPuppet whiffs, zero to stay at 34. If only that BC/Boise game had played out...
McSuckin picks up 1 to move to 31. Big night for him.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

GG Bowlarama, Round 5

GG Bowlarama - Round 5.

South Carolina Gamecocks v Virginia
Saturday 12/29, 12 noon, ESPN
Charlotte, NC

Notre Dame (#3) v Clemson (#2)
CFPlayoff Game
4 PM Saturday, ESPN
Arlington, TX

Oklahoma (#4) v Alabama (#1)
8 PM, Saturday, ESPN
Miami, FL

Roll the serious bones.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Round 4

GG Bowls, Round 4

These games are played Friday and Saturday.

Purdue v Auburn Tigers
Friday 12/28
1:30 PM ESPN
Nashville, TN

West Virginia U v Syracuse
Friday 12/28
5:15 ESPN
Orlando, FL

Florida Gators v Michigan Wolverines
Saturday 12/29
Noon, ESPN
Atlanta, GA

Roll the bones.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Round Two Results

ESPN + work computer = Hammering the Refresh

GG Bowls, Round 2 Results:

Memphis 34, Wake Forest 37 in a barn burner. Sure glad I changed that pick. I love me some me.
Houston 14 and Army hangs 70 on them. 70. And I picked Houston. That sucks.
Buffalo 32, Troy 42. Nice.

BroFro picks up one. Still in the lead with 47.
CCS with 2, now up to 42. Need a sweep badly.
KBron with 1. Now with 40 total. Fading, KMan.
SeannieG. Picks up 2 to go to 40. Petulant Bitch Posts about the Commissioner not appreciated.
BridgenFraulein. Only 1. Got 39.
Randi. Picks up the deuce to go to 39.
'BoSuke. Fucked over by our Armed Forces. 2 to go to 37. Looks grim.
DThong. Grabs 2 to go to 37. Not your year, Thong.
SockPuppet. 2 to rise to 34. Appreciate the effort.
McSuckin. 1 to break through to 30. Not sure why you're still participating.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG, 3rd Bowl Edition

GG, 3rd Bowl Edition:

Army is kicking the living shit out of Houston as I write these words, Brothers and Sisters:

All games December 26. Meme courtesy of McLovin.

Boston College v Boise State
1:30 PM ESPN
Dallas, TX
Servpro First Responder Bowl

Minnesota v Georgia Tech
5:15 PM ESPN
Detroit, MI
Quick Lane Bowl

Cal v TCU
9 PM ESPN
Phoenix, AZ
Cheez-It Bowl (Yes, the fucking Cheez-It Bowl)

Get a hurry up on this one, GGers.
Roll the bones,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

GG Dawn of the Bowls Results

GG Dawn of the Bowls.

Let me just say, before we go any farther, that the last few minutes of the E. Meechy v Georgia Southern game were a shining example of why no sane person would become a football coach. up by one, with time winding down, 25 - 30 yards from Geo Southern's kicker's range, the E. Meechy staff decide to only rush 3 and drop eight back, waaaay back, on fourth and ten. The Geo Southern QB, who is really a running back who almost never throws because he can't and Geo Southern is a triple option team anyway, see's this blunder and promptly scampers for 20+ yards. Game over.
Why would you only rush three and drop eight into zone against a QB who knows he can't throw and panics under pressure and throws the ball into the seats? Why? Just a huge mental douche move that cost them the game.

On to the scores:

BroFro with the SWEEP, 5 to extend the lead to 46.
CCS with the SWEEP, 5 to move into second place with 40. Nice.
KBron. Jesus, what a disaster of a year. Now in lowly third place after picking up only 2 to go to 39.
SeannieG. Coming on strong with 2 to go to 38. Fucked by East Meechy.
BridgenTurd. Again, making moves but screwed by East Meechy. 2 to go to 38.
Randi. Visions of GG glory fading fast. 2 to go to 37.
'BoSuke. Mr. Nobody, boned by East Meechy, 2 to go to 35. Cutting behaviour surfacing again.
DThong. Arizona State? Kind of lost a step this year, Amigo. 2 to go to 35. SAD.
SockMaster. Hello, Mr. SWEEP. Back from the dead with 5 to go to 32. How good is that? Ask....
McSuckin. 1 (ONE) to go to 29. And it was the Georgia Southern game. People who commit suicide go to Hell. Or so I was told. But, really, how much worse could Hell be as compared to the season you're having in GG, Biggest Loser?

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Second Round

GG Bowls, Second round:

Saturday, Dec. 22nd.

Memphis v Wake Forest
Jared Birmingham Bowl
Birmingham, AL
Noon, ESPN

Houston v Army
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl
Fort Worth, TX
3:30, ESPN

U Buffalo v Troy
Dollar General Bowl
Mobile, AL
7 PM, ESPN

Roll the bones, Bowl Freaks,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life