January 2, 2023
Mississippi State vs Illinois. 1/2/23. Noon. ESPN2.
Tulane vs USC. 1/2/23. 1 PM. ESPN.
Penn State vs Utah. 1/2/23. 5 PM. ESPN.
Roll the bones,
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Saturday, December 31, 2022
Friday, December 30, 2022
Bowlathon Chapter 5 Games
Chapter 5.
New Years Eve Games.
Alabama vs Kansas State. Sugar Bowl, 12/31/2022. Noon. ESPN. This is a New Years Six game.
Texas Christian U vs Michigan. 12/31, 4 PM. ESPN. This is a CFP game.
Ohio State vs Georgia. 12/31, 8 PM. ESPN. This is a CFP game.
An epic Chapter 5.
Roll the bones, my friends.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Wednesday, December 28, 2022
GG Bowlathon Chapter 3 Results
Chapter #3.
Again. Do I even have to say it? No Sweeps.
Wake Forest humbles Missouri, 27 - 17.
The New Mexico State Aggies dump Bowling Green 24 - 19.
Wisconsin pushes Oklahoma State around, 24 - 17. Year of the Badger.
Lola. Faith in the Badger pays a dividend. +1 to make 27.
CCS. Add one for the Wake Forrest pick. 29. These games are important. Hello?
DPo. Muddled picks surprise no one. +1 to go to 27.
SpecialK (aka Broni). So close. +2 to make 25.
Timmy! Hangs on to the lead despite himself. +1 to make 41. Bowl game stay-cation and you need every fucking point, Bitch.
'Bo$uke. Roll on with the GG Season of Suck. +1 to make 27.
SockPuppet. Two up, Two down. Zero on the Chapter. Total 25. Did you have a pick on the Wake Forrest game? If I missed it let me know. Loser.
Q. 'O' for Three. Stay at 31. Still have a shot at the Cheese but, well, maybe get your shit together.
DogTheBountyHunter. +1. New Mexico, Land of Enchantment. 36. One Sweep away from glory.
BreauxFreaux. Almost, Breaux. +2 to go to 38. Making a game of it. The world holds its breath.
Snottie. Just missed. +2 to go to 36. And you won your bowl game. Climbing the ladder.
Ronde'. +1 to make 30. Yesterday's news.
McLovin. Another no-hitter and the Lovin stalls out at 27.
ChiChi. Nails +1 to move up to 27. I like the tenacity.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Monday, December 26, 2022
Bowlathon '22, Chapter 4
GG Bowlathon, 2022.
Chapter 4.
Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech, 12/28, 9 PM, ESPN. TaxAct Texas Bowl.
Notre Dame vs. U South Carolina (SowCow), 12/30, 3:30, ESPN. TaxSlayer Gator Bowl.
Ohio Bobcats vs. Wyoming Cowboys, 12/30, 4:30, ESPN. Barstool Bowl.
Roll the bones, Bitches.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Thursday, December 22, 2022
Bowlathon '22, Chapter 3
Chapter 3.
We bracket Christmas with Bowls.
Wake Forest vs. Missouri in the Gasparilla Bowl. 12/23, 6:30 PM, ESPN
New Mexico State Aggies vs. Bowling Green, Quick Lane Bowl, 12/26, 2:30 PM, ESPN
Wisconsin vs. Oklahoma State Cowboys, Guaranteed Rate Bowl, 12/27, 10:15 PM. I can almost hear TK saying it: "Guaranteed Rate Bowl, Boys. Guarantee it."
Roll the bones, Amigos and Amigas.
Jimbo$$uke,
Commissioner for Life
Bowlathon 2022, Chapter 2 Results
Chapter 2.
Again, there are no Sweeps.
What in the hell? Eastern Meechy nukes San Jose State 41 - 27. Only CCS calls this one and he obviously pulled some bullshit that we'll never know about.
Toledo slips by The God Squad. Rockets 21, Jesus Freaks 19.
The Hilltoppers dog-walk U South Alabama. WKU 44, U So Alabama 23.
Lola. Late entry is a loser. 0 on the Chapter. Stay at 26.
CCS. It was looking good then WKU pissed on you. 2 to go to 28.
DPo. 1 to go to 26. Feels like you're not trying very hard.
Bronita. No entry. I'm getting a "total capitulation" vibe. Stay at 23.
Timmy! Nails one to hold the lead. Reaches 40.
'Bo$ucky. Fucking gets one. 26.
SockPuppet. Only picks up one because he can't get it together. 25.
Q. +1. Inside line on the Hilltoppers, obviously. 31.
Dog. +1. Same shit. Dumb enough to pick the God Posse, lucky enough to tag WKU. 35.
Breaux. Toledo Rockets are your besties. 36.
Snottie. Grabs one to go to 34. Could make a run.
Chichi. Makes the doughnut. Stays at 26. Kind of sad.
Ronde'. A goose egg. Why do I feel like Ronde' is generally sucking lately? 29.
McLovin. Got one. Obvious collusion with DTBH and Q. Not happy about it. 27.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Tuesday, December 20, 2022
Bowls Chapter 1 Results
The Bowls have dawned.
Chapter 1. No sweeps.
Louisville ass-hammers rudderless Cincinnati 24 - 7. Hard not to think Cincinnati is headed for obscurity again as their coach leaves town.
Fresno State cock-whips Washington State 29 - 6. Love me some Bulldog.
Asshole BYU sneaks by the Ponies 24 - 23. My cousin went to SMU. Suicide watch for him.
Lola. Add 1 to go to 26.
CCS. Pick up 2 to make 26. Wazzu?!
DPo. Grab 2 to go to 25. Fucked over by Cincy.
KBronie. 2 to make 23. Dumb-ass Wazzu pick.
Timmy! 2 to reach 39 and hold the lead. If only Cincinnati hadn't bent you over a chair.
'Bo$uke. 1 to go to 25. Really floundering in GG this year. Fuck off.
SockPuppet. 2 to go to 24. Well...SMU.
Q. 1 to go to 30. Got a thing for BYU, Lesbian?
DTBH. 2. So close. Got 34 now.
BreauxFreaux. 1 to make 35. You're in this thing. You're somebody.
Snottie. Bags the deuce. Makes 33 total. Pony betrayal.
ChiChi. 1 to go to 26. Mixed feelings about you as a person.
Ronde'. 2 to go to 29. Moronic Washington State pick.
McLovin. 2, which is exceptional for you, Special Ed. Makes 26.
All in all, just a complete shit-show to kick off Bowl Season.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
BRFL Week 14, Conference Championships
Week 14.
Lola. Domers did not play (dnp). Still, +1 for the no drop. Minus 9 on the season.
CCS. The Evil Wolverine Conspiracy pulls away from a plucky Purdue eleven and ultimately delivers an ass-whuppin', 43 -22 in, I guess, Indianapolis? I forget. +4 for the win (see the living document if you think I'm off the rez on this one. I'm not). +1 for the no drop. 5 point weekend. +32 on the season for our new leader.
DPo. Houston dnp. Nada. Stay at +1 on the season.
KBron. Oregon dnp. SpecialK gets his no drop though. +15 on the year.
Timmy! Meechy State. dnp. At 5 - 7 on the year, not bowl eligible. It's over, Teebs. Finish at minus 8.
Jimbo$$uke. dnp. +1 for the no drop. + 20 on the season. Appropriately, Texas is headed to the Alamo Bowl. Go me!
SockPuppet. dnp. Stay at minus 12. Baylor? Really?
Q. dnp. Iowa generally stunk up the place this year. Let's be honest. Stay at +7.
DogTheBountyHunter. Utah curb-stomps USC 47 - 24. Just a fuckin' beatin' by the Utes. +4 for the win. 1 more for the no drop. +5 on the move up. Good Lord, 10 point conference championship weekend for DTBH and he's @ +18 before moving onto the Rose Bowl, a New Years Six Bowl that pays +4 for a win. Where the fuck did this guy come from?
BreauxFreaux. NC State dnp. But wait. What?! The Almighty AP moves in strange ways. DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE! Into the AP at #25. +5 to make it +1 on the season. Out of the Darkness and into the Light. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you Lord.
Snottie. Wisconsin with the dnp. Stay at minus 6 but your suffering has not ended. You have a bowl game to lose.
ChibaChews. Cincinnati dnp. Maybe that's for the best. Your coach bails for ... Wisconsin. +6 and you're lucky to have that.
Ronde'. Utah 47, USC 24. How brief the Glory. The AP docks you minus 4 and you yield the lead to CCS. You have +28. Here's where it gets interesting. The Cotton Bowl, where you are headed to play Tulane, is a New Years Six Bowl. Victory is still within your reach. Making me still hate you.
McLovin. Ohio State dnp. Hold on though. 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up (shameless bastard), +2 weekend for a total of +12 and you're going to the CFP and a potential bonanza of points. Short of an apocalyptic douchefest by everybody else you probably can't win it all this year. But you should be alright. Why does that bother me so much?
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Friday, December 16, 2022
GG Bowlathon, Chapter 2
GGB Chapter 2:
Eastern Michigan U vs San Jose State. 3:30, ESPN. 12/20.
Toledo vs Liberty. 7:30 PM, ESPN. 12/20
U South Alabama Jaguars vs the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. 9 PM, ESPN. 12/21.
Roll the bones, Friends.
Jimbo$$uke,
Commissioner for Life
Tuesday, December 6, 2022
GG Week 15: Dawn of the Bowls
GG Week 15.
Dawn of the Bowls.
There will be seven Bowl groups, six of them will be three games each.
The National Championship Game stands alone. That's the seventh 'group'.
If you cruise into that game having swept the three games that include the playoffs ( Alabama vs. Kansas State, TCU vs Meechy, Ohio State vs. Georgia) you have an extra, bonus three points tacked on. You keep those, win or lose your bet on the Natty.
Picking the Natty game pays three points, no matter what. Get it wrong and you get zero. Get it right and you get three.
Simply put, if you get the playoff week right, that's a sweep (five) plus three bonus (total eight). And then you nail the Natty, that's three more. 11 points total to close out the GG season. That's the max.
So it was last year. So shall it be this year.
Here's the first set of Bowl Games, M'Bitches:
All games Saturday, December 17th.
Cincinnati vs. Louisville. 11 AM Fenway Park, MA. ESPN.
Washington State vs. Fresno State. 3:30 PM. SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA. abc.
SMU vs. BYU. 7:30 PM. University Stadium, Albuquerque, NM. abc.
Roll the bones, Brothers and Sisters.
Commissioner for Life
Saturday, December 3, 2022
BRFL Week 13 Results
Week 13.
Everybody's getting tired.
Down and dirty because things are getting crazy:
Lola. USC handles Notre Dame at home 38 - 27 and hangs the L on ND. The AP is not kind, dropping LWoman 6. Total now, minus 10.
CCS. Jimmi Kax and the Evil Wolverine Conspiracy make it two in a row. This time the truck-drag happens in Columbus and, it's official, Michigan Owns Ohio State in the Rivalry Game. 45 - 23 the final and it wasn't that close. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. 1 for the move up. +3 weeknd, CCS with +27.
DPo. Tulsa drops Houston at home 37 - 30. Season of Sadness. 0 for the weekend. +1 Season. Are you bowl eligible. Dunno'!
Komronovich. Oregon State knocks Oregon out of contention in Corvallis, 38 - 34. You'll never look at a beaver the same way again. The AP strikes hard on Sunday, minus 5. + 14 on the season, Special K.
Timmy!. Meechy State gets mauled in Happy Valley. Penn State 35, Sparty 16. Long year, Teebs. Long year. Stay at minus 8.
SockPuppet. Baylor loses to Texas. We've been over this. 0 on the weekend. I'm too much of a gentleman to point out how much shit you and 'Billy' gave me about picking Texas. Minus 12 on the season.
Q. Nebraska (NEBRASKA!) 24 over Iowa 17 in Iowa City. Wow. 0 on the weekend. +7 total.
DogTheBountyHunter. Utah guts Colorado 63 - 21 on the road. These fuckers can play. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. +2 for the AP move up. 4 pointer on the weekend for a total of +8 on the season.
BreauxFreaux. NC State drops North Carolina in Chapel Hill 30 - 27. Take that, Private School. +1 for the win brings you up to Minus 4 on the season, Breaux.
Snottie. Minnesota washes Wisconsin 23 - 16. Ski-U-Mah. Probably just glad the season's over. 0 on the weekend. Minus 6 Total. 😢
ChiChi. Tulane downs a beat-up Bearcat squad in the Queen City, 27 - 24. It's bad. Real bad, Bro.
Minus 4 on the power dive out of the poll and then ... then, The REAM. Minus 5 more. Minus 9 weekend. You're down to +6 on the season, ChibaChew.
Ronde'. USC 38 over Notre Dame 27. We've been through this. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. 1 for the move up. +3 weekend gives you what looks like a pretty comfortable lead at +32 total. On to the Conference Chamionships. Hating.
That's it.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
GG Week 13 Results
Week 13.
No Sweeps.
Lola. 3 swings, 3 misses. 0 for the week. Stay at 24.
CCS. Nailed the USC game. +1. 23 total.
DPo. Strike out. Stay at 22.
Bronie. 1 right. Go to 20.
Timmy! Close, but no cigar. 2 to go to 36. The Leader.
'Bo$uke. Got 1. Go to 22.
SockPuppet. Got 1. 21.
Q. 1 right. 29 total.
DogTheBountyHunter. Add 2 to go to 30.
BreauxFreaux. Add 1 to go to 33.
Snottie. Picks up 1 to go to 30.
ChibaChew. 1 to go to 24.
Ronde'. Almost. 2 to make 26.
McLovin. 1 to go to 22. Keep choppin' wood. Or something.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life.
Sunday, November 27, 2022
GG Week 14. Conference Championships.
Week 14.
Conference Championships.
(#12) Utah vs USC (#4) for the PAC-12 Crown. 8 PM, Friday, Dec. 2, FOX. Allegiant Stadium, Paradise, Nevada.
(#13) Kansas State U vs TCU (#3). Big-12 Championship tilt. Dec. 3, Noon, abc. AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX.
(#11) LSU vs Georgia (#1) for the SEC Title. SEC Championship. Dec. 3, 4 PM, CBS. Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA.
Remember, with recent rule changes (see 'Living Document') winners of conference championship games get slightly more than they used to. A win is worth 4 points. In the beginning it was 3 (too few). Then it was 5 (too many). Now it is 4.
Roll the bones, Brothers and Sisters.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
PS: I realized after writing this that I may have created some confusion. If you have one of these teams in the BRFL, a quasi-separate contest, and you win you get 4 points for the win. In the context of GG, however, the same old rules apply; one for the win, 5 for the sweep. I hope this clears things up.
Friday, November 25, 2022
Thursday, November 24, 2022
BRFL Week 12 Results
Week 12
Bitches!
This is where you stand, heading into the Most Wonderful Time of Year, Hate Week.
Lola. Notre Dame ass-whips Boston College 44 - 0. Where was this game played? Who fucking gives a shit? Notre Dame has turned their season around. +1 for the win, +1 for the no drop. A fire-hose of AP Love because, Notre Dame. +5 on the move up. +7 weekend. Lola fights her way back to minus 4 on the season. It's a god damned miracle.
The Evil Wolverine Conspiracy avoids the ultimate humiliation. Playing in Ann Arbor, undefeated, vs Bret Bielema and lowly Illinois, DoucheAgain pulls out the last minute win courtesy of their 45 year old kicker. Illinois 17, scUM 19. Classic ass-hat post-game interview with Harbaugh. On. The. Spectrum.
CCS with 1 for the win an 1 for the no drop. +24 the total.
Houston mutilates East Carolina U 42 - 3 somewhere in one of the fucking dumb Carolinas. Nobody cares. 1 for the win DPo. Out of the darkness and into the light. +1, finally. Every down is 'garbage time' for Houston. Somewhere, some heavily tattooed and pierced grocery store bagger is laughing at you.
Utah goes to Autzen Stadium and blows their season. Bo Dix and the Ducks get the 'W'. Oregon 20, Utah 17. My Little Broni is suddenly relevant again . 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 on the move up, +4 weekend, Oregon with +19. Beat me, Baby, eight to the bar. Liberace heading your way.
Indiana downs Sparty 39 - 31 in East Lansing. Michigan State is a very troubled program. Has anyone heard from Teebs? If you do hear from him, tell him he's still at minus 8. And he has one more game to get bowl eligible. Yes, it's that bad.
Texas vs. Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas. Texas truck drags the Jayhawks, 55 - 14. Bijan Robinson 243 yards and 4 TDs. 1 for the win, +1 for landing in the Poll at #24 and, yes, it's DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE! once again for Jimbo$$uke and the Longhorns. I could be wrong but I think I have racked up 4 DIDDLE!s and 3 reams this season. With +5 I have +14 after a 7 point weekend.
TCU headed to Waco and the Baylor Bears come within a proc-hair of dropping the Toads. TCU 29, Baylor 28. Woe is the life of SockPuppet and the PuppetMaster, the upset was not to be. 0 on the weekend. Stay at minus 12.
Iowa travels to St. Paul and squeaks by lowly Minnesota 13 -10. Nice to see Kirk Ferentz's offense has regressed to the mean. +1 for the win and Q has + 7 total but, more importantly, the everlasting ignominy of having her name associated with that of Kirk Ferentz.
Utah loses to Oregon 17 - 24. We've been over this. DogTheBountyHunter licking his wounds. Cliff-dive down the AP landscape to minus 4 on the weekend. A puny +4 on the season. How do you live with yourself, Has-been Guy?
Just a horrible season for BreauxFreaux. NC State on the road against Louisville and they get clobbered 25 - 10. Jesus, God. Zero on the weekend (again). Minus 5 on the weekend. How can it not be worse than that? Puzzling.
Wisconsin travels to Lincoln for a Douche-off with the Cornhuskers and, surprisingly, comes out on top 15 - 14. Snottie would rather forget this whole season but I, Jimbo$$uke, am here to remind him, every damn week. 1 for the win. Squat at minus 6.
Cincinnati stomps the piss out of Temple on the road, 23 - 3. ChiChi and the homer pick continue to surprise. Well, really, shock. I wrote these jack-wagons off months ago. Still. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and the AP says, 'ay-yuh' and it's +1 on the move up. This formerly hopeless fucker, Chiba, has +15 which is 1 more than me, which pisses me off.
Fucking asshole USC survives UCLA in Pasadena, 48 - 45. I hated this game. Hated whiny Lincoln Riley and ugly as a dog's-ass Caleb What's-his-name. Worse, +1 for the win, +1 for the no drop and +2 on the move up from the god damn numbskull AP. +4 on the weekend. Ronde' with +29, the Leader.
https://youtu.be/1r2z5P0ZMso?t=1
Ohio State makes a ton of mistakes, penalties and general fuck-ups and manages to get out of College Station with a 43 - 30 win. It was really 36 - 30 but there was a very late defensive TD. Did they look like shit? Yes. Are they injury riddled. Again, yes. Do they have a chance against hated scUM? Sort of. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. McLovin keeps tuggin' the sausage and now has +13. God help us all.
Jimbo$$uke
Commissioner for Life
Monday, November 21, 2022
GG Week 13 Games
Week 13.
 |
| Skunk. Weasel. |
(#3) Michigan @ Ohio State (#2). Game of the Century 2.0. Noon. FOX.
(#10) Oregon @ Oregon State (#22). Armageddon in Corvallis. 3:30, abc.
(#5) USC @ Notre Dame (#13). Serious shit in Cali. 7:30, abc
Roll the Bones.
Jimbo$$uke,
Commissioner for Life
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