The Legend of Manatee ToeJam

Greetings, HeismaniacBitches!

A rough, rough Heisman race comes to an end. And in the BRFL, there's blood on the sidewalk.
Again.
Optimus Klein, the favorite, douches out and finishes dead last. Never the same after that concussion, was Collin Klein and it cost him. 7% of first place votes. Fuck. Ing. Pathetic, Collin.

Manatee ToeJam. Okay. Probably the best player, non-quarterback speaking. Lynch-pin of the Domer national championship run? No doubt. He has, what, 20 interceptions? See previous posts for ToeJam highlight reel. Finishes second.  37% of the first place votes, Mr. Midwestern Angry Samoan Hero.

And the winner...Johnny Football. Just, well, just puke all over yourself, Heismaniacs. I did. Nobody even had this geek on their list. Nobody. This twerp-ass Aggie has one huge game and the Heisman voters go raging boner over the freshman. Okay. Fine. Should have noticed the guy. Put him on my list. But the winner?! Never would have called that. 55% of the first place votes. Wins going away, the prick. Give him his props, he took some years off Nick Saban's life. Thank you for that, Johnny.

Some of you twits didn't even have Manatee on your list. You're so DONE. You know who you are.
Some of us dumb-asses just carried the ToeJammer as a token. Done-zo as well. I think I gave him 5% of the votes or something childish like that.
Then there were three. Who took the MT seriously. And gave the bone breaking Pacific Island Madman his due. SockPuppet gave him 20%. Not enough, Sock. DBung also gave him 20%. You fell short as well, DBungle.

And damned if Snott doesn't slide in there again and give Manatee an eerily accurate 35%! If I recall Snottie was the first to toot the defensive player for Heisman horn. Congratulations, ScoDouche. You are our Heismaniac Season 7 winner. I think you'll snag about a hundred bucks for this, depending on how many times I dip into the vault for walkin' around money between now and the payout.

Scott had Optimus Klein on his list, too. Which means he picked as many invitiees as any dummy. So the tie-break went to the nimrod who gave the runner up the most accurate number of first place votes. I know, I know. I'm awesome. My cerebrum is bigger than most planets.

Great contest. Again, I love me some me. Whoo. Yes, I do.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
Principal Administrator for the Heismaniac Award