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Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Awww, Gee -
Forest Gump to Replace Ohio State president Gordon Gee
D. Po, BRFL TODAY Sports3:46 p.m. EDT June 4, 2013
Ohio State president Gordon Gee is calling it quits.
Following the revelation of recorded remarks in which he criticized Notre Dame, Roman Catholics and the SEC, Gee announced his retirement Tuesday through the university.
He will make his official announcement in an email to students, faculty and staff later this afternoon. His retirement is effective, starting July 1. Executive Vice President and Provost Joseph A. Alutto will be named interim president. Alutto previously served as interim president in 2007.
"Without question, the university has achieved remarkable success, and it has been my honor and calling to lead it," Gee's email reads, via The Columbus Dispatch. "Ohio State is well-positioned for the future. I love this university, and my relationship with it will continue."
Trustees labeled Gee's joking remarks, made in December during an update on the Big Ten expansion, unacceptable and placed him on a remediation plan. The recorded comments were obtained by The Associated Press last week.
Gee's success as a college president has often been overshadowed by verbal gaffes. During the meeting in December, he referred to "those damn Catholics" and joked that priests at Notre Dame are holy on Sunday but "holy hell" the rest of the week. Additionally, he once called Ohio's governor a "dummy" and likened the job of running a university to the Polish Army.
Gee's full Ohio State University statement read:
"I recently returned from a vacation with my family, actually, it was an Asian sex tour but, but , yes, I recently returned from a vacation with my family, during which time I had a chance to consider the university's phenomenal achievements and the road that lies ahead for it. Ohio State now has a richness of new opportunities that would be the envy of most universities. During my days away, I also spent some time in self-reflection. And after much deliberation, I have decided it is now time for me to turn over the reins of leadership to allow the seeds that we have planted to grow. It is also time for me to reenergize and refocus myself.
"I began my career at Ohio State in 1990, and I was honored to return as its leader six years ago. I am proud to have played a critical role in the university's transformation from excellence to eminence. I plan to work closely with the Trustees and Dr. Alutto to ensure the smoothest transition possible. I cannot express enough my deep appreciation to the people of Ohio for the opportunity they have given me to lead this great university. I love this university, and although I might be retiring from the presidency, my work with Ohio State will continue. No matter what the future may hold for me, Ohio is my home. And I'd like it a whole lot better if we could ship all our lying, pot-licking Catholics to Michigan. Fuck Michigan. Fill Detroit with Catholics and see what happens. Check out the name 'Alutto'. Catholic, maybe??? Here I had a nice thing going @ OSU and along comes Mr. Papist administrator Alutto and now I'm looking for work like 85% of other Americans. This, my friends, is bullshit. Go Bucks."
Robert H. Schottenstein, chairman of the Ohio State's Board of Trustees called Gee's tenure at Ohio State "transformational" in a statement. Gee served as Ohio State's president for two terms, from 1990 to 1997 and 2007 to 2013. "We won't miss the fucking bow ties and tweeds", Mr. Schottenstein remarked.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
I Got A Shed Like Dat
Picture Pages: Datbull
Filed under:
By now everyone has heard the saga of Jay Harris. The former Michigan State wide receiver commit out of Pennsylvania has parted ways with the Spartans to pursue his rap career. There are varying accounts of exactly what happened; Harris claimed it was a mutual decision, and MSU sources are indicating they dropped him like... well, like a Michigan State wide receiver would drop something. But with all the drama of how this went down, one thing got lost in the shuffle: the music.
[Caution: lyrics are very much NSFW]
Harris put together a this epic music video, so it's only fitting that we analyze said video to try to unlock the genius within.
We open on the most hardcore of all yard equipment storage structures, the shed. This particular shed is especially thug, because it is tagged. On the inside. So whoever was inside the shed would know whose shed it was. A lone young man sits, and while we presume him to be our protagonist, but he has not yet told us his name.
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Oh damn, there goes that scholarship. Oh well. Now we can move on to our hero's true talents like...
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...being a fire-breathing dragon.
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"Datbull fo life. Fo fo life. I'm Datbull fo life. Fo life..."
Finally, a flicker of insight into his identity. Yes, our hero has a name. And like most males, he will go by that name for the rest of his life. But apparently he has had trouble in the past convincing people of either his identity or the vehemence with which he will stand by that identity, so he repeats himself several times to drive home his point. He is Datbull, and he shall remain as such for life.
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He seems to have lost focus, though in fairness it seems to be through little fault of his own.
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Mr. Bull has surrounded himself with a group of likeminded compatriots, but one (who may or may not be pre-weight loss Jonah Hill) has been ostracized from the group. He is made to stand behind a gate. This seems unfair, but perhaps there is a good reason. Only time will tell.
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"I'm Datbull fo life. I take yo wife. Take his b*tch and his b*tch..."
Our scene shifts to the pavilion at a local park. Pavilions, of course, are among the thuggest of the open-air structures. What, were you gonna say that pagodas are harder? You think a weak-ass gazebo could survive in the rap game? Hell no. But I hope they reserved that pavilion, because if that Boy Scout Troop shows up, they'll kick you out again. They plan ahead.
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"She dancin' [in close proximity to my genitals] like she practicing that ballet"
That's... sir, that's not a nice thing to say about his wife.
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"And there's mollys in the building so you know I'm popping three..."
We return to the safety of the shed, and we are led to notice the amount of seating available. How many gatherings are you hosting in this shed?
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[I have no idea what he's saying]
This is a tactical error by the director. This large pile of money is barely noticeable. That should be fanned out and/or made to rain. This is standard protocol.
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[Something about being Van Gogh if Van Gogh smoked weed]
Another embarrassing mistake with the vehicle shot. We clearly see our cameraman's hand on the 'oh shit' handle.
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Dude, you just got your own words wrong. We need to get out of this car. Go back to the shed. Or the the street. Things were going pretty well in the street.
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"I'm like Jordan to the game but you can call me DB..."
Thank God, we're back on the street. And it appears that Datbull has carried on the recent tradition of Michigan State wide receiver commits, in that he (a) enjoys basketball, and (b) won't end up playing wide receiver at Michigan State.
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They've finally let Jonah Hill out from behind the gate, which DAMNIT JONAH GET YOUR HAND OFF OF YOUR JUNK. We're filming a goddamn music video here. I mean...you know what? No. Get back behind your gate.
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"...you can call me Datbull. Fo life. Fo fo life. Fo life. You know. You know."
The lyrics conclude. But there is still a full 1:18 left in the video. I'm not sure how we're gonna fill that time, but whatever. Once you’ve made your point, there’s really no point in continuing. And I think we’re all pretty clear about the message. Datbull. Fo Life.
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Drugs are bad, mmmkay?
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The group gathers once more under the pavilion. Jonah has been forced to stand to the side. This is for everyone's safety (see: 2:02).
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We fade to black. There are still 57 seconds left in the video. It's clear now how we are going to fill the remaining time: by not.
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And now we're completely dark. Do... do we leave now? I mean, there's still some sound, but it's like they forgot we were still here. Oh well, let's wait to see if there are some special features at the end, like Datbull and his friends eating shawarma.
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Not looking promising.
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Nope. Just a bold and unconventional artistic choice by the artist, as if to say, 'I don't need graphics or lyrics or sounds of any kind. I'm Datbull. Fo life. You know? You know."
NCAA's Last Gleaming?
I don’t want to talk about this. But I think you have to see it, so… here it is. Warning: it’s slightly Not Safe For Breakfast.
(H/T @LandGrant33, and by H/T I mean Y U HATE MY EYES?)
Bucknuts. That is all.
Car washings is serious business
NCAA rules are dumb. But until now, we didn’t know just how dumb:
Yup, a University had to report a secondary violation because an athlete washed her carwith University water. According to Lost Lettermen, the full story is about as dumb as you would expect:
A WCC school self-reported an extra benefits violation to the NCAA when university officials caught one of their women’s golfers washing her car on campus, according to the source. The NCAA ruled a secondary violation had occurred because the water was not available to regular students and demanded the golfer pay back $20, which was deemed to be the value of the water and use of the hose.”
It was a violation because the USE OF A HOSE WAS AN IMPERMISSIBLE BENEFIT. And she had to PAY $20 because the hose wasn’t available to the general student body. In other words, this thing that is generally unavailable to the general student body is fine:
Ross Academic Center
And this will lead us slouching to SMU:
Hose
Once again, fine:
Suspect:
Save us Obi-Wan KenO’Bannon. You’re our only hope.
(NOTE: the second violation, while less funny, is probably worse. How can someone make some kind of impermissible contact with a recruit when he doesn’t know who he is talking to? We lawyer types call that “mens rea.” Everyone else calls it “holy itchy Gold Bond balls, use some common sense you ridiculous tools”)
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I'll have a drumstick.
http://wonkette.com/517673/voice-of-michigan-wolverines-football-thinks-tiger-woods-all-the-blacks-should-be-proud-of-fried-chicken-eating-ways
Voice of the Wolverines takes on political elites. Go Blue!
Jimbosuke
Voice of the Wolverines takes on political elites. Go Blue!
Jimbosuke
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
One Less Golden Domer
Everett Golson kicked out of Notre Dame for an undisclosed violation.
Coach Brian Kelly gets the news and doesn't handle it well.
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Wisconsuck
http://www.elevenwarriors.com/2013/05/21998/on-wisconsin-badgers-ohiostate-buckeyes-bigten-rosebowl#more
Who are these "Badgers", Snottie?
Jimbosuke
Commissioner for Life
Who are these "Badgers", Snottie?
Jimbosuke
Commissioner for Life
Monday, May 20, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Liberace, the Movie.
As usual, the BRFL is way out front.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/19/arts/television/liberaces-tale-from-michael-douglas-and-steven-soderbergh.html
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/19/arts/television/liberaces-tale-from-michael-douglas-and-steven-soderbergh.html
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
ClemboSlice in the House
What's he saying? What's he thinking?
You make the call.
a) "I love the BRFL"
b) "Extra cheese, Tony"
c) "They said it was mud. I never heard anything about any dog shit."
d) He's just grinding one out on the camp can.
Me, I'm just grateful for the large wad of cash he laid in my hand to keep the BRFL afloat another year.
That's what International Founding Fathers DO. They step up.
Even if it means eating cat food for a year. Or two.
Jimbosuke,
Friday, May 3, 2013
The Noise of Thunder
July 20th.
30 Fair Street.
6 PM.
The Man comes around.
Don't miss it.
Jimbsuke
Commissioner for Life
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