GG Week 12 Results

 Week 12.

McLovin was working on a half-chub when he told me about his SWEEP last weekend. Like, 'DUDE, I swept!'. 

Being the Commissioner is sometimes hard. You have to ask the tough questions. Deliver bad news. Make your own kin feel like shit. So I didn't enjoy doing it but I told 'Lovin that, yeah, it was really great that he got a sweep and all but, then again, so did ten other people out of a possible fourteen. So, you know, like, feather my bung, Bitch.

Notre Dame guts Pittsburgh on the road, 37 -15. Jeremiah Love runs for twice as many yards as the whole Pittsburgh team. CJ Carr kind of plays like shit, tossing 2 INTs and gaining 7 yards on 5 totes. Best part of the game was Marcus Freeman shoving Pat Narduzzi when he went to convert the obligatory post-game coach's handshake into an awkward man-hug. Like, get the fuck off me, Sweaty White Guy.

My favorite Notre Dame player's name? Junior Tuihalamaka. Close second? Boubacar Traore. Good Irish  lads from the Old Sod. 

USC sneaks by Iowa 26 -21 at home. In a driving rain. In Los Angeles. Mark Gronowski does not play well. USC's defense plays just well enough. Why does Iowa give the west coast teams of the B1G Ten such trouble? Are the west coast teams, I hate to even think this, pussies? Can they not handle a little Man Bawl from chronically overpaid and underachieving Kirk Ferentz? I don't know. Look, let's just forget I even brought it up. 

Georgia violates Texas 35 -10 between the hedges and turns what was supposed to be a  marquee game into a giggler. Gunner Stockton puts on a show: 24/29 for 229 and 4 TDs (an INT, too, so there's that) and 6 carries for 29 yards and a touchdown. Arch Manning's stat line was, eh, not as good.

Texas can't run the ball. Their defense is tired. Georgia looks like a sack full of starving raccoons dropped in the meat department of Price Chopper.

Q. 2. Admire the way you will always pick Iowa. 2 to make 25.

Chiba. SWEEP! 5 adds up to 23.

DTBH. 2. Also a compulsive Iowa picker. 2 to get 22.

Lola. SWEEP! 5 plus 15 equals 20. You don't see that every day.

Ronde'. SWEEP! 5 to reach 24. Turning it around maybe?

DPo. SWEEP! 5 to your 18 makes 23. My take on you is that I don't know what the hell to think about you.

Sock. SWEEP! 5 to reach 24. I would keep an eye on Q's GG scores if I were you. But I'm not you. 

KBro. SWEEP! 5 moves you up to 33. Nice. Could be better.

$$uke. SWEEP! 5 to make 20 after being decimated in a failed Bet the Ranch bid last week.

Psycho. SWEEP! 5 to your 29 gives you 34. Almost dominant.

Teebs. 2 to make 26. Iowa, Teeblations? Pourquoi?

McLovin. SWEEP! 5 to bust up to 23. Not so special but I'm still proud of you.

Big Dom. SWEEP! Add 5 to your 30 and you are the Leader with 35. I fart in your general direction.

BroFro. SWEEP! 5 to getcha' to 34. So close. Have you thought of just killing Big Dom?

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life