BRFL Week 2 Results

 Rolling through Week 2 and already some picks look shaky.

I sent you the spread sheet in your email. The way the sheet reads is a little different from last week; Under 'AP' you read 1 point for a win or 0 for a loss, plus whatever the AP gave or took away from you. If you got the REAM (like Komron and I did) I have added minus 5 to the score and the REAM column lit up. The last column is your updated AP rank.

I would have handled a DIDDLE the same way but nobody got one so ha, ha, ha, Buttholes. 

Q: BYU whups up on Stanford. Possibly because Stanford sucks. And it was a home game for the Utah Cultists. Whatever. No AP love. No diddle. Nothing but 1 lousy. Point. 5 total. Still unranked. 

ChibaChews; Boise State with the whoop-ass on East Washington U. Big fucking deal. You get one for that and now you have minus 4. You and Q had the first two picks in the draft. Way to go.

DogTheBountyHunter: The Iowa State Cyclones are officially the team to beat in the Big 12. They hand Kirk Ferentz the Fraud a nice 'L' in Ames. Thought it would be more of a blow out. Oh well. They get the CyHawk Trophy. DTBH gets 4 and has 13 on the season. 

Ronde': The Vols take an explosive shit on East Tennessee State, 72 - 17. Are the Vols really good? Guess we'll find out. The AP thinks so, goosing them with a 7 point climb. Fucking Ronde' has 13 now. I feel sick. 

DPo: Nebraska obliterates Akron 72 -17. The 'Po still pining for that elusive diddle. AP says, 'hell no'. Still unranked but you've got 5 points. 

SockPuppet. Texas A&M toys with Utah State. 44 - 22 the final. AP love +3. 5 on the week. This pick is working out and you have 7 and just fuck you. 

KBro. Holy Mother of Christ, what the hell just happened?! SMU loses to Baylor (who looked like shit last week, by the way) in double overtime and gets absolutely gang-raped by the AP. REAM! Minus 8 on the way out, plus the ream for minus 13 on the weekend. That's also your total, Mr. Pick-Up-A-Second-Job. Minus 13.

$$uke. Speaking of getting corn-holed, Arizona State takes the 'L', in Starkville, from lowly Mississippi State. So much wrong with this Sun Douche team. The QB looks lost. They apparently have only one receiver. Their secondary actually is lost. Totally. The coaching sucks. Kenny Dillingham has morphed from river-boat gambler into total pussy. Minus 13 on the way out the door and add minus 5 for the REAM! and $$uke is this year's bottom-feeding mud puppy. 

Minus 18 on the year.

Psycho. Bert Bielema has the Fighting Illini hitting on all cylinders. Illinois beats up on basketball-centric Duke, 45 - 19. 2 from the AP for that schmegma. 7 on the season for Illinois.

Timmy!: A lackluster licking of Louisiana Tech by LSU, 25 - 7 the final. Still, Teebs has the #3 team in the land and Brian Kelly might be able to achieve an erection if this keeps up. 8 on the year for Teeblations.

 McLovin: Alabama carpet bombs Louisiana Monroe 73 - 0 but the AP is not fooled. A measly 2 on the move up. Nobody believes what's-his-name has his shit together as the head coach of the Tide. Your future has 'L's around every corner, FartSmeller. Minus 12 on the year. Don't call me.

Big Dom: Well, lah-dee-dah. Utah seal-clubs Cal Poly 63 - 9 at home. CAL POLY?! For the love of God, the AP buys into this bullshit and moves the Utes up 5 places. The stupidity. 7 on the week, total 16, you have the lead, Serial Masturbator. 

BreauxFreaux and the puzzling Memphis pick. A 'W', 38 - 16, over Georgia State, that's true. But does anybody give a shit? Not the AP. They say, 'Pound sand up your ass, Breaux'. 5 on the year. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life