GG Week 14. Conference Championships.

 Week 14.

Conference Championships.

(#12) Utah vs USC (#4) for the PAC-12 Crown. 8 PM, Friday, Dec. 2, FOX. Allegiant Stadium, Paradise, Nevada.

(#13) Kansas State U vs TCU (#3). Big-12 Championship tilt. Dec. 3, Noon, abc. AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX.

(#11) LSU vs Georgia (#1) for the SEC Title. SEC Championship. Dec. 3, 4 PM, CBS. Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA.

Remember, with recent rule changes (see 'Living Document') winners of conference championship games get slightly more than they used to. A win is worth 4 points. In the beginning it was 3 (too few). Then it was 5 (too many). Now it is 4.

Roll the bones, Brothers and Sisters.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

PS: I realized after writing this that I may have created some confusion. If you have one of these teams in the BRFL, a quasi-separate contest, and you win you get 4 points for the win. In the context of GG, however, the same old rules apply; one for the win, 5 for the sweep. I hope this clears things up.

Hate Week, Holiday Edition

Hate Week.

Holiday Edition.

 Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 12 Results

 Week 12

Bitches!

This is where you stand, heading into the Most Wonderful Time of Year, Hate Week.

Lola. Notre Dame ass-whips Boston College 44 - 0. Where was this game played? Who fucking gives a shit? Notre Dame has turned their season around. +1 for the win, +1 for the no drop. A fire-hose of AP Love because, Notre Dame. +5 on the move up. +7 weekend. Lola fights her way back to minus 4 on the season. It's a god damned miracle.  

The Evil Wolverine Conspiracy avoids the ultimate humiliation. Playing in Ann Arbor, undefeated, vs Bret Bielema and lowly Illinois, DoucheAgain pulls out the last minute win courtesy of their 45 year old kicker. Illinois 17, scUM 19. Classic ass-hat post-game interview with Harbaugh. On. The. Spectrum.

CCS with 1 for the win an 1 for the no drop. +24 the total. 

Houston mutilates East Carolina U 42 - 3 somewhere in one of the fucking dumb Carolinas. Nobody cares. 1 for the win DPo. Out of the darkness and into the light. +1, finally. Every down is 'garbage time' for Houston. Somewhere, some heavily tattooed and pierced grocery store bagger is laughing at you.

Utah goes to Autzen Stadium and blows their season. Bo Dix and the Ducks get the 'W'. Oregon 20, Utah 17. My Little Broni is suddenly relevant again . 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 on the move up, +4 weekend, Oregon with +19. Beat me, Baby, eight to the bar. Liberace heading your way.

Indiana downs Sparty 39 - 31 in East Lansing. Michigan State is a very troubled program. Has anyone heard from Teebs? If you do hear from him, tell him he's still at minus 8. And he has one more game to get bowl eligible. Yes, it's that bad. 

Texas vs. Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas. Texas truck drags the Jayhawks, 55 - 14. Bijan Robinson 243 yards and 4 TDs. 1 for the win, +1 for landing in the Poll at #24 and, yes, it's DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE! once again for Jimbo$$uke and the Longhorns. I could be wrong but I think I have racked up 4 DIDDLE!s and 3 reams this season. With +5 I have +14 after a 7 point weekend. 

TCU headed to Waco and the Baylor Bears come within a proc-hair of dropping the Toads. TCU 29, Baylor 28. Woe is the life of SockPuppet and the PuppetMaster, the upset was not to be. 0 on the weekend. Stay at minus 12. 

Iowa travels to St. Paul and squeaks by lowly Minnesota 13 -10. Nice to see Kirk Ferentz's offense has regressed to the mean. +1 for the win and Q has + 7 total but, more importantly, the everlasting ignominy of having her name associated with that of Kirk Ferentz. 

Utah loses to Oregon 17 - 24. We've been over this. DogTheBountyHunter licking his wounds. Cliff-dive down the AP landscape to minus 4 on the weekend. A puny +4 on the season. How do you live with yourself, Has-been Guy?

Just a horrible season for BreauxFreaux. NC State on the road against Louisville and they get clobbered 25 - 10. Jesus, God. Zero on the weekend (again). Minus 5 on the weekend. How can it not be worse than that? Puzzling. 

Wisconsin travels to Lincoln for a Douche-off with the Cornhuskers and, surprisingly, comes out on top 15 - 14. Snottie would rather forget this whole season but I, Jimbo$$uke, am here to remind him, every damn week. 1 for the win. Squat at minus 6. 

Cincinnati stomps the piss out of Temple on the road, 23 - 3. ChiChi and the homer pick continue to surprise. Well, really, shock. I wrote these jack-wagons off months ago. Still. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and the AP says, 'ay-yuh' and it's +1 on the move up. This formerly hopeless fucker, Chiba, has +15 which is 1 more than me, which pisses me off. 

Fucking asshole USC survives UCLA in Pasadena, 48 - 45. I hated this game. Hated whiny Lincoln Riley and ugly as a dog's-ass Caleb What's-his-name. Worse, +1 for the win, +1 for the no drop and +2 on the move up from the god damn numbskull AP. +4 on the weekend. Ronde' with +29, the Leader.

https://youtu.be/1r2z5P0ZMso?t=1

Ohio State makes a ton of mistakes, penalties and general fuck-ups and manages to get out of College Station with a 43 - 30 win. It was really 36 - 30 but there was a very late defensive TD. Did they look like shit? Yes. Are they injury riddled. Again, yes. Do they have a chance against hated scUM? Sort of. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. McLovin keeps tuggin' the sausage and now has +13. God help us all. 

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 13 Games

 Week 13.

Skunk. Weasel.

Welcome to Hate Week.

(#3) Michigan @ Ohio State (#2). Game of the Century 2.0. Noon. FOX.

(#10) Oregon @ Oregon State (#22). Armageddon in Corvallis. 3:30, abc.

(#5) USC @ Notre Dame (#13). Serious shit in Cali. 7:30, abc

Roll the Bones.

Jimbo$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 12 Results

 

Week 12.

Hello, Bitches.

The TOTAL difference, combined, in points in this week's three games was 7.

Seven.

Yet, half the BRFL membership swept (again that's 7 people, loose definition on "people"). 

I've been trying, all year long, to make these picks as difficult as possible. 

And now this. 

All I can say is, 'fuck you all.'

TCU survives Baylor, 29 -28. Fucking Toads. I'm not buying it.

USC wins a squeaker over UCLA. 48 - 45. Nobody has an uglier beard than Caleb what's-his-name. USC headed for a fall. Only a matter of time. 

Utah falls to Oregon in a tight one, Utah 17 -  Oregon 20. Oregon could be a problem for people.

Lola. SWEEP! Add 5 to go to 24. There was a time when you were a GG LOSER, Lola. That time has past. I liked you better when you were a loser.

CCS. 2 to make 22. Where you are in the BRFL, you don't need this side-hustle. Hate you bigly.

DPo. 2 to go to 22. At least you have the courtesy to suck in the BRFL. Hate you anyway. Die. 

Bronipple. 2 to make 19. Sad sack of doggie-doo.

Timmy! SWEEP! 5 to go to 34. You are en fuego. You are also a turd. What's going on with you?!

'Bo$uke. 1 (ONE!) to go to 21. I am so, so bad at GG this year. I own it. Eat shit, Jerks. 

SockPuppet. 2 to go to 20. At least you're improving. Keep chopping wood, 'Billy'.

Q. SWEEP! 5 to make 28. You're a player. It hurts to write that.

DogTheBountyHunter. 2 to reach 28. Solid showing. Hate you.

BreauxFreaux. SWEEP! 5 to go to 32. You motherfucker. 'Snake in the grass' move makes me sick. 

Snottie. 2 to go to 29. You're going to Hell. I don't feel bad about it.

ChibaChew. SWEEP! 5 to reach 23. Never give up, Disordered Chromosome Guy.

Ronde'. SWEEP! 5 make 24. Not bad for a kid from Connecticut with Downs Syndrome.

McLovin. SWEEP! 5 to reach 21. I have 21 and I got exactly ONE right. I'm better than you. 

I hope you shit-burgers are pleased with yourselves.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life.

BRFL Week 11 Results

Week 11.

Notre Dame drops Navy by 3, 35 - 32 in Baltimore. Lola livin' on the edge. Another nice pay-off. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop and the AP shows +2 love (really? a 3 point win over Navy?) and it's a 4 point weekend. Minus 11 the total. Screw it. 

Nebraska goes to Ann Arbor (scUM always plays at home) and gets cock-whipped 34 - 3. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. CCS stays undefeated. +2 puts Big Blue at 22.

Temple 36, Houston 43. 1 for the win. DPo's forgettable season gets burnished a little. 0 never felt so good.

Oh, no. The Bronie Apocalypse. UW 37 over Oregon 34 in Autzen Stadium. Did not see this one coming. (Let's be honest, I almost never 'see' anything coming.) The Ducks take the power dive minus 6 in the AP and it's +15 for Team Bronie. 

I hear that ol' piano playin'.

Sparty gets a win in East Lansing, 27 - 21. Timmy! keeps grinding. +1 for the win. Minus 8 on the season.

Jimbo$$uke's dreams of glory implode in Austin. TCU shuts down the Longhorns offense and dumps Texas 17 - 10. How brief the glory. Last week The $uke picked up 13, this week he gives back 12. Minus 7 on the way out of the AP and then the dreaded REAM! minus 5 more. 

Mother. Fucker. 

Mr. Mediocre @ +7 when the dust settles. 

SockPuppet. KSU bounces back and thrashes Baylor in Waco 31 - 3. Baylor has not been good to Sock and the PuppetMaster. Join the Hate Dave Aranda Club. You'll feel better. Zero. Minus 12 the total.

Wisconsin 10, Iowa 24. I could just as well have written, SnapOn Tools 10, Craftsman 24. Toolsack on Toolsack violence in Iowa City and the Big Assholes come out on top. +1 for the win and +6 total for Q. Iowa's offense has reached its ceiling.

Stanford gets molested in Salt Lake City. Utes 42, The Cardinal 7. Utah peaking at the right time, DTBH? 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and The AP says, "bueno", +3  on the move up. +8 total. 

Things don't break BreauxFreaux's way and Boston College nips the Wolf Pack 21 - 20 in Raleigh. That's bad. But wait. There's more. Free fall in the AP to the tune of minus 9. And there's more. The awful REAM comes to town. Son-of-a-bitch, it's a minus 13 weekend, dropping the Breaux from a respectable +8 last week to a dismal minus 5. 

Wisconsin is victimized by what is, by Iowa standards, an explosion of points. Badgers 10, Hawkeyes 24 in Kinnick Stadium. Zero on the weekend. Snottie's at minus 7. Kirk Ferentz waxes his corn-stalk and drools over that 'win-6-games' bonus.

ChiChi. Cincinnati wins another nail-biter and this time there's a whoooole lot of cheddar. Bearcats 27, ECU Pirates 25, in the Queen City. 1 for the win. +3 on the move up from Not Ranked to #22. And bustin' back into the AP brings the DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE!, +5 more.  9 point weekend puts ChibaChew up to +12. Saddle up for another trip to the dispensary, CowPuncher.

USC dismantles lowly Colorado 55 - 14 in the Coliseum. This was just sort of a war crime. But it came at a price; bell-cow running back Travis Dye, who has been an absolute game-wrecker for the Trojans (since transferring from Oregon, Bronie), was carted off. Something really bad happened to his 'lower body' and now the Men of Troy will have to lean on the bench to run the ball. 

Good news though. Still plenty of mighty good reasons to hate Ronde' with a fucking passion.

1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and a move up +1 for beating Colorado at home. Wow. Such bullshit. Ronde' in the lead with +25.

In what amounted to a pay-day game without the pay-day, Indiana comes to the Shoe and gets carpet bombed by Ohio State 56 - 14. Bad news for the Bucks though as they have to go three quarters with the third string, true freshman running back as Miyan Williams takes one to the 'lower body' and heads to the injury tent. 

Another worrisome development? McLovin is in double digits. +11.

America is in trouble. Deep, deep trouble.

I'm done for this week.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 11 Results

 Week 11.

Wisconsin goes to Iowa City and gets tortured 24 -10. This is NOT the Year of the Badger. This was a sweep buster for a lot of you.

Kansas State visits Baylor in Waco and absolutely destroys them, 31 - 3. Baylor Bears power dive into obscurity. A lost season. 

Some coaches can develop quarterbacks. Lincoln Reilly, Ryan Day, Chip Kelly, Satan. You know who apparently can't? 

Steve fucking Sarkisian. 

Quinn Ewers has regressed this season after his lights-out performance against Alabama in the season opener. This week, in a woeful performance against TCU, the lone Longhorn touchdown came on a scoop and score by the defense. 

Ewers completed less than half his passes, threw no TDs and put the last nail in the coffin with a  ridiculous interception, deep down the middle of the field, with his receiver bracketed by a corner and a safety. Oh, and the throw was late and behind. He's been doing this kind of shit every week for a month  but, hey, if it's broke don't fix it. 

TCU 17 over Texas 10, in Austin. Texas is toast. 

Lola. Whiffed on Wisco. 2 to go to 19.

CCS. Nailed the Iowa game. Douched the other two. 1 to go to 20.

DPo. Ditto. Also 20. Uh-oh. Butt-buddies?

Bronacho. 1 to go to 17. No sweep fo' you!!

Timmy! SWEEP! Holy shit, this fuckin' guy. Out of nowhere to take the lead with 29.

'Bo$uke. Strike out. 0 for 3. Kids, be more like Timmy! 'BoSucky at 20.

SockPuppet/PuppetMaster. 1 to go to 18. You share the blame, 'Billy". Own it.

Q. SWEEP! This bitch is making a move. +5 to go to 23.

DogTheBountyHunter. SWEEP! It's a Family Affair. Fuck you. +5 to go to 26.

BreauxFreaux. Weak showing. +1 to make 27. Losing that mojo maybe?

Snottie. Again, piss-poor effort. +1 and you can snuggle in the same sleeping bag as Breaux. 27.

Chiba. +1. About what I would expect, Special Ed. You have 18.

Ronde'. +1. Nice pull, Mister Montana Moron. 19 Total.

McLovin. +1. Next week just stay in bed and tug the sausage. 16 total. s i x t e e n.

Next week Ima bring it, Whores.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 12 Games

 Week 12.

#4 TCU @ Baylor.  Noon. No broadcast listed. 

(#7) USC @ #16 UCLA. 8 PM. Don't know who is broadcasting this.

#10 Utah @ #12 Oregon. 10:30PM.  Again, not sure how you will get to see this. 

Roll the bones.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 10 Results

 Week 10.

Lola. The Golden Domers rise up and destroy hated Clemson, 35 - 14 in South Bend. Dabo is dead. +1 for the win, 5 for landing at #20 and DIDDLE! DIDDLE! DIDDLE! the Fightin' Irish are back in The Poll, that's 5 more. 11 point weekend for Lola and she's sitting at minus 15. Pretty impressive how Lola clings to BRFL Life even though...well.

CCS. Big Blue toys with Rutgers for a quarter or two then nukes them 52 - 17. The Evil Wolverine Conspiracy shows no mercy and it's 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 1 for the move up in The Poll. +3 puts scUM at +20.

DPo. Houston and SMU open up the playbooks and score a combined 140 points. Houston comes out on the losing end. Houston 63, the Ponies 77. It's a very fucked up day when you can score 63 points and still lose. Zero on the weekend for the 'Po. Stay at minus 1.

Oregon curb-stomps Colorado 49 - 10. Colorado is bad. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and +2 AP love on the move up. Double helping of unicorns for the Bronie. Total 21 and second place. 

Sparty upsets the Illini in Champaign. Bret Bielema gonna' Bret Bielema. Nice shot in the arm for Teebs. +1 for the win, go to minus 9 for Timmy!

Texas finally manages to hold onto a lead and win on the road. 34 - 27 over formerly red-hot Kansas State in Manhattan. +1 for the win, orgasmic +7 move up into The Poll and DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE!, +5 more. Glorious +13 weekend and Jimbo$$uke is back in the game with +19.

Baylor drops Oklahoma in Norman, 38 - 35. Sooners in 'we suck' territory. +1 for the Bears and SockPuppet is just trying to keep his head above water at minus 12 total. I have only one thing to say to you, Sock: GG Points.

Iowa's offense explodes for 24 whole points over perpetual victim Purdue. 24 - 3 the final as Iowa's defense continues to bully inferior competition. +1 for the win, $4,800,000 for Kirk Ferentz and +5 on your total, Q.

Arizona takes a trip to Salt Lake City and gets the shit beat out of themselves by Utah. 45 - 20 the final. But, oh no, trouble for DTBH. +1 for the win, a 'fuck you' from the AP as you drop in The Poll (-1), and the weekend is a wash. Zero. Stay at +3 which isn't very good. 

Wake Forest gets molested by NC State, 30 - 21. Breaux Freaux has a big weekend. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +4 AP Shower of Love, +6 on the weekend, +8 on the season.

Maryland gets skonked at Camp Randall. Wisconsin 23 - Maryland 10. Year of the Badger? 1 for the win. Fucking Iowa this weekend. Snottie has minus 7.

Cincinnati picks on Navy, 20 - 10 at home. Every game is a close game for the Bearcats this year. ChibaChew just rolls with it. +3 total. Pack a bowl, Chichi.

Cal (?!), in the Coliseum, gives USC a really hard time. Eventually they come through with the expected loss, 35 - 41, to the Trojans but it kind of makes you wonder. It also makes me hate Ronde' more than I did last week. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, and an inexcusable gift of +1 from the AP and TurdFace is sitting at +22, The Leader. 

Ohio State struggles with Northwestern in shit weather in Evanston. CJ Stroud gallops for 78 yards. Wild horses must run free. Run game has issues. McLovin has sweaty drawers. 1 for the win, 1 for the  no drop. ToolPouch up to +9 which is bad for America.

That's all I got this week.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 10 Results

 Don't even start with me. I've been busy as fuck.

Georgia lets the gas out of Tennessee's bag, 27 - 13 between the hedges in Athens. 

Texas finally proves they can hold a lead on the road. Texas 34, Kansas State 27. Bijan Robinson.

NC State douches Wake Forest 30 - 21. What does this mean? I have no idea.

Lola. 2. Tripped up by Texas. 17 on the season.

CCS. 1. You got one right. Slippin' much? 19.

DPo. 2 out of three. 19 total.

Bronie. 2 out of three to go to 16. Somewhere I hear a gas station attendant laughing at you. 

Timmy! +2 puts you at 24. You are a threat. A least in GG. 

'Bo$uke. 2 to go to 20. Took it in the pants from Wake Fucking Forest.

SockPuppet. A no-hitter. Zero. It happens. Stay at 17.

Q. 2 to go to 18.

DogTheBountyHunter. SWEEP! 5 to go to 21. Suddenly you're Somebody. Congratulations.

Breaux Freaux. SWEEP! 5 to go to 26 and a share of the GG Crown. Nice.

Snottie. You got one right. Not your best effort. You share the lead at 26, Mr. Yesterday.

ChibaChew. 2 to go to 17. Still not sure how I feel about you.

Ronde'. +1. How do you nail the NCState game and blow the other two?! Are you a douchebag? 18.

McLovin. 2 to go to 15. He's last but he's ... McLovin. 

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 11 Games

 

Week 11.

Wisconsin @ Iowa.  3:30 PM.  FS1.

(#23) Kansas State @ Baylor.  7 PM.  FS1.

(#4) Texas Christian U @ U of Texas (#18).  7:30 PM.  abc.

Roll the bones, Friends.

Jimbo$$uke

Commissioner for Life