Season 12, Week 1

It's on.

Season 12, Week 1.

Two games played last weekend:

Stanford gave Rice a rinsing, 62-7. Remember Christian McCaffrey? Me neither. Bryce Love, 180 yards on 13 carries. Do the math. CCS feeling so right.

USF Bulls trample,sort of, the Spartans from San Jose and put a smiley on Kitten. Quinton Flowers, 11-23, 212 yds, 2 TDs. Not a great completion percentage but it'll do.

Up next:

Ohio State @ Indiana. Thursday, 8/31, 8 PM, ESPN. The Bucks open with a Big Ten East game, on the road. This one counts, big time. It's in conference and in division. Indiana has a veteran QB and three receivers at 6'4". Ohio State returns one starter in the secondary. Not going to be a blow out in Bloomington.

Utah vs North Dakota in Salt Lake City, 8/31, 7:30 PM, PAC12Network. Payday.

Washington @ Rutgers. Friday, 9/1, 8 PM. Washington with multiple defensive suspensions this week. Still, Jennifer (aka ClemboSlice) gives the Scarlet Knights a paddling in Piscataway.

Wisconsin entertains Utah State in Madison, 9/1, 9 PM. You're fucking kidding me, Scott. Can you say 'payday game'?

Penn State hosts the Akron Zips in Happy Valley, Saturday, 9/2, noon, ABC. Paydaymus Suckus.

U of Miami vs Bethune-Cookman in Miami, 9/2, 12:30, ACCNetwork. Two embarrassing things here SockPuppet; Bethune-Cookman (p-p-p-pay-day) and you play in something called "Hard Rock Stadium". Bitch, please. Naming rights. So gay.

Michigan vs. Florida in Arlington, TX, 9/2, 3:30, ABC. Multiple suspensions for Florida vs Jim Harbaugh being a total dick about releasing his roster. Douche and Doucher.

Notre Dame vs Temple in South Bend, 9/2, 3:30, NBC. Guess NBC gets the shit games. Worth watching to see Brian Kelly have his weekly series of mini-strokes.

Boise State brings Troy to Boise, 9/2, 3:45, ESPNU. Damning BroFro's name every week because I have to go fishing for the Mountain West schedule.

USF Bulls  v Stony Brook, 9/2, 4 PM, ESPN2. Yes, Stony Brook has a team. They're called the SeaWolves. Come on, Kitten. Taking payday games to a new low.

USC hosts Western Michigan in LA. 9/2, 5:15 PM. Western Michigan, Bridshit? So payday.

Kansas State entertains Central Arkansas in Bill Snyder Family Stadium, Manhattan, Kansas. How odd is that? A stadium named after an active coach's family and a place called Manhattan. In Kansas. 9/2, 7:10 PM, ESPN3. This would invoke a 'payday'damnation if K State weren't so suspect.

Florida State vs Alabama in Atlanta, 9/2, 8 PM, ABC. Appropriately, these two sacks full of assholes and their fans are meeting in something called Mercedes-Benz Stadium. Naming rights. Don't like them.

West Virginia U vs Virginia Tech in Landover, Maryland, Sunday, 9/3, 7:30, ABC.

Stanford has a bye this week.

Yours truly,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

We're underway!

August 26, 2017

BRFL Season 12.

ClemboSlice: Washington U Huskies, #8 AP
Jimbosuke: Ohio State Buckeyes, #2, starts at minus 4
DPo: Notre Dame Fighting Irish, unranked
SkHank: Virginia Tech Hokies, #21
SockPuppet: University of Miami Hurricanes, #18
Bridshit: USC Trojans, #4, starts at minus 2
Timmy!: University of Michigan Wolverines, #11
BroFro: Boise State Broncos, unranked
Kitten: University of South Florida Bulls, #19
SeaScum: Penn State University Nittany Lions, #6
Snottie: University of Wisconsin Badgers, #9
Q: Kansas State University Wildcats, #20
Randoogle: University of Utah Utes, unranked
KeBron: University of Florida Gators, #17
CCS: The Stanford Cardinal, #14
McLovin: University of Alabama Crimson Tide, #1, starts at minus 5

The Bulls and the Cardinal each have a game tonight.

Let' kick it away.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Gridiron Guru, Season 12. Week 1 and Results

KaBoom, you sluts.

Game on, Bitches.

Two Saturday games 9/2:

Michigan (11) vs Florida (17),  in Arlington, TX.  ABC @ 12:30 PM
Florida State (3) vs Alabama (1), in Atlanta, Georgia.  ABC @ 5 PM

Sunday, 9/3:

West Virginia (22) vs Virginia Tech (21), in Landover, MD.  ABC @ 4:30 PM.

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep.

Roll the bones and let 'er rip.

September 8, 2017

GG Week 1 Results:

Seannie: 2
Randouche: 1
BroFro: 5, sweep
Commissioner: 5, sweep
DPo: 5, sweep
Bridgit: 5, sweep
CCS: 2
McLovin; 2
KBronie: 1
SockPuppet: 2

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Draft Days, BRFL Season 12

It's Happening. The AP Poll has dropped and the BRFL Draft has begun. Fateful choices will be  made. Fortunes will be won and lost.

First up, with the #1 pick, ClemboSlice takes #8 AP, Washington University (Huskies).
With the #2 pick, Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life, taps #2 AP , THE Ohio State University (Buckeyes). I start the season at minus 4.
DPo, with the #3 pick, takes the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Notre Dame is unranked.
SkHank, with the #4 pick, takes #21 AP, Virginia Tech (Hokies). Kind of a Riverboat Gambler move, seeing as how he still owes the BRFL $243 from epic losses accrued during season 11.

SockPuppet, with the #5 pick of the Draft, takes the Miami Hurricanes, #18 AP.
Bridshit, with the #6 pick in the BRFL Draft (long may It reign) takes USC, Trojans, #4 AP.
The 'Shit starts at minus 2. Kudos for the speed on that pick.
Timmy! opts for the Evil Wolverine Conspiracy and earns a death sentence from the Commissioner for Life. It's Meechy, AP # 11 for Teeblations. "For the Night is dark and full of Terrors", Bitch.
BroFro, with the #8 pick in the BRFL Draft, taps Boise State (AP unranked). He ain't heavy, he's my BroFro.

Kitten is on the clock.

Kitten is in with the #9 pick in the BRFL Draft. He gives AP #19, University of South Florida (USF) Bulls, the nod. Bold and bodacious and beautiful.

Seannie Graham is in with the #10 pick in the BRFL draft and he takes Penn State, #6 AP. That's an extremely solid pick and The SeaScum may take home the cheese. Again. Caution light blinking RED ALERT.

Snottie, everyone's favorite whipping post, is on the clock.

8/22/2017. Day 2, BRFL Draft, Season 12.

Not sure why the AP waited so long on the poll this year but it puts us in an awkward position.
The first game is Saturday night, 8/26 so we have to pick up the pace a little bit here.
Please try to have your pick ready when you go on the clock, Brothers and Sisters.

8/23/2017. Day 3, BRFL Draft, Season 12.

Snottie with the #11 pick in the BRFL Draft selects #9 AP, the Wisconsin Badgers.

Q, with the #12 pick in the Draft, takes Kansas State (Wildcats), #20 AP. Never bet against Bill Snyder in a big game. Strong pull, Q.

With the #13 pick in the BRFL Draft, Randingle taps the U. of Utah Utes. Utah is unranked.

KBronieManWoman is on the clock.

#Bronies, Motherfuckers.

8/24/2017, Day 4, BRFL Draft, Season 12.

With the 14th pick of the Draft, KommieMan selects #17 AP U of Florida (Gators).

CCS on the my clock. (edit:fixed)

(Very funny, Drew-lose-money-long-time.)

With the 15th pick of the BRFL 2017 Draft, Chip n' Syph picks The Stanford Cardinal, #14 AP.

McLovin on the clock.

8/25/2017, Day 5, BRFL Draft, Season 12.

With the 16th and final pick of the 2017 Draft, McLovin take Alabama (Crimson Tide), #1 AP.
Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer, eh, McShavedBalls?

And there you have it.
Kudos to you, Brothers and Sisters, for rattling off your picks in record time. We made it with a whole 24 hours to spare (McLovin picked last night).

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Draft Order: BRFL Season Twelve

And so, down to business, Brothers and Sisters.

First let's be clear. This is Season 12. Your nightmare began in 2006/7. The BRFL was spawned on a cloudy late afternoon in June 2006 by ClemboSlice and Yours Truly sitting on a bench in the backyard at 279 Blacks Road. Hence the occasional cryptic appearance of the number "279" on official BRFL tees. I believe I was nursing a hangover though that is a pretty safe bet for any date spanning 2006-2016. In any event, the Devil Baby was born then and there. McLuvin' won that year, with Alabama.

Let's move on.

I anticipate the AP Poll may be dropping on us Monday. So let's take a look at the draft order. Remember that we are taking on another BRFler, Craig "KC" Wolf. Not "Casey". Wofie, it occurs to me that, though I have known you most of my life, I don't really know how to spell your name. Is it Kraig? Is it Wolfe? So for now I'm just going to call you "Kitten". Be glad it's not "Pussy".

So, according to my records, after all the coin flips from the multiple ties we had in the BRFL (Sean and Scott, BroFro and Timmy!), Kitten is picking in the #9 spot, by tradition the middle of the batting order or as close as I could come to it.

Behold:

#1: ClemboSlice, Founding Father 1
#2:  Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life
#3:  DPo
#4: SkHank, still not believing that he actually lost a lot of money. How would he know?
#5: SockPuppet
#6: Bridshit
#7: Timmy!
#8: BroFro (sorry, you lost the toss)
#9: Kitten
#10: SeaScum
#11: Snottie (you lost the toss as well, Scumbag)
#12: Q
#13: Randilingus
#14: KBronieManWoman
#15: CCS
#16: McLuvin'

You know the drill. I'll get in touch with you when you're up. Can't pick a team if it's already taken.
Try to know who you want when your turn comes up. But I'm not going to go past you to the next person if you need more time. If I don't have a contact number for you, mail it to me at jamslak@gmail.com. If you have questions about the draft or the rules (aka "The Living Document") call me at 607-437-2556. Of note, you are penalized only for the top 5 teams. You start at minus 5 if you pick the #1 team, minus 4 for the #2, etc. The number 6 team is free and clear.
Timmy! if you're in Rangoon running around in a loin-cloth with a bone through your nose and a native posse and a brain full of chemicals find a responsible party to act on your behalf.

I owe some of you guys money. It's coming. Almost everybody owes money for last year's GG and Heismaniac. It will all work out. It always does. It's only money.

We're almost underway.


Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Wait, what? I played football too.

Okay. Troy Smith was the last recruit added to the TOSU class of 2003. He was listed as "athlete" but had been a star at the legendary TOSU pipeline Cleveland Glenville HS (aka the Tarblooders, on the rough East side of Cleveland). His coach was Ted Ginn, Sr. (pictured left), father of speed demon and terrifying punt returner Teddy Ginn, Jr. Though he red-shirted and mostly rode the pine his first year at TOSU , Troy was tapped to take the controls for TOSU after the hideous melt down of the first half of the 2004 season (after a timely injury to Justin Zwick vs. perenially overated Iowa). From there it was "Hello, Heisman". But the highly touted college trophy, as is so often the case, didn't translate into NFL gridiron glory.  He developed, of all things, a potentially fatal form of tonsillitis and lost the #1 QB job to Super Bowl under-achiever, Jay Flacco. Now he wants to open a dope house for CTE sufferers? I'm all in. I blame most of my serious personality quirks on guys like SockPuppet and Scoturd who were all the tme running over my head in practice.
Weed me, Bitches.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Little Bitch-Ass in Trouble

Words cannot express how much I hate this sawed-off little motherfucker.
We'll see who's in trouble this year, you shit-ass Bitch.
Fuck you, Dabo, or whatever your fucking name is.
You had a great year. Now eat dog shit like God meant you to do.
Asshole.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life