GG Week 14, Conference Championships

Welcome to the Conference Championships, BRFLers.

(#8) Colorado vs Washington U (#4)
Santa Clara, California.

(#6) Wisconsin vs (#7) Penn State
Indianapolis, Indiana

(#10) Oklahoma State @ (#9) Oklahoma
Norman, Oklahoma

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep.

Roll the bones, My Friends.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 13 Results: Rivalry Week

First, the most detailed and rational analysis of the Forever Infamous Spot appears on, of all places, MGoBlog and supports the 1st down call. If you take the strict definition of a first down. A first down is defined as "reaching the line to be gained".
Which  JTBarrett did. Hats off to this Michigan Man for having the presence of mind to consider the parallax error amidst all the bleating and counter-bleating from less sophisticated fans.

Michigan's defense completely owned TOSU after the first drive. Our kicker was in melt down mode. The Meechy D line sacked JTB something like 8 times. But Coach Khaki pants couldn't close the deal during "win time" and let TOSU hang around long enough to find their offensive footing. All those wasted plays with Jimmy Peppers in the Wildcat. What for?

Bitter Khakis.

Ohio State 30, Michigan 27 in double OT.

Dalvin Cook runs rough-shod over the Gators.

Florida 13, Florida State 31.

Alabama's defense is better than Michigan's. Maybe. And that's saying a lot.

Auburn 12, Alabama 30.

Here's how the GG Faithful did:

DPo. Glory, yes, but at what cost? Sweeps 5 to take the lead at 35.
CCS. A Sweep jacks him up to 34. DPo, can you hear him knocking?
SeaGra. DePosed because, basically, you picked Meechy. 33. How does third place sound, Bitch?
BroFro. Sweeps hard up to 33. 5 points tastes good, eh, Bro'?
KBronieManBitch. Be true to your school, say the Beach Boys. Fucking idiots. 2 to go to 32.
Killer B.  2 to go to 28. Still in it but losing altitude.
McLuvMuffin': 2 to go to 27.
RandJob. Power sweep to 24. Nice pull.
SockMonkey. 2 to go to 23. Honorable mention.
'BoSuke. Showed solidarity with the Plainsmen. Kicking myself in the ass. 2 to go to 23.
Snottie. 3 picks, 3 whiffs. Here's your Zero, Meechy picking ManWhore. 19.
Teebs! You picked the 'Bama game correctly. I'm in awe. Give Mike Hart a call. 19. Douche.

Best wishes,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Ohio State Michigan - The 'Baugh Also Rises

Michigan Hate Week: The Ghost of Tim Biakabutuka

Michigan Hate Week, Day 4.

DPo, I see your GG pick.
Did you see the Indiana - Meechy game last week? Coach Khakis may be a little weird but he knows how to adjust. De'Veon Smith took that game over behind some pretty stout blocking. Indiana doesn't suck. It reminded me a little of the '95 Nightmare when Touchdown Tim Biakabutuka ran through TOSU, to quote Satan, "like shit through a tin horn."

And this year's Meechy defense is better than '95.

Sweaty palms. Dealing with Michigan week is never easy.

Death or glory and to hell with Michigan!

It's Hate Week, Brothers and Sisters!

https://youtu.be/96QGneYixkM

Week 12 BRFL Results

Michigan hate week, day 3.

Week 13 BRFL.
I said we all needed a Louisville loss. The Cardinals did not disappoint.

Who is this KBroniePonyBitch? Why did I bring him into the fold? Hating. Florida Gators 16, LSU 10. 1 for the win, 8(!) for the move up, 1 for the no drop, 10 point bonanza, Suddenly, this He-She is in the lead with 28.

Seannie SquishMitten: Louisville 10, U of Houston 36. Disaster strikes. Can happen in any home. At any time. That's why there is "insurance". Except in the Utopia of the BRFL. No insurance here, Teddy Brosevelt. Minus 8 sayeth the AP. You have 27, tied for the 2nd.

Wash U 44, Arizona State 18. Seattle Suck Machine asserts itself against a nobody ball club. 1 for the move up. 27 to bring CCS into a share of second place. Big deal.

Boise St. 42, UNLV 25. 2 point move up for the BroFro. A share of #2 at 27. The diabolic BroPlan is working. Hate him for that.

THE Ohio State University over Moo U. 17-16 in East Lansing. Buckeye defense rises up. 2 point weekend. Q the Kitten-Queen at 25. See below for scenarios. Liberace uber alles!

Teebs! resurfaces. Meechy 20 over Indiana 10 in the Big House with the back up QB. Line up and run the football. Jackson Peppers is a non-factor but Meechy has some lads that can play. Clash of the Titans on the horizon. 25 for Teeblations.

Clemson 35 over Wake Forest 13. Somehow McBitch gets a move up point for that. 13 for McLuvin'.

Miami 27, NCState 13. How did this happen? I thought NC State was good. Randingleberry grabs 1. Has 11.

Florida State 45, Syracuse 14. Snottie gets a gift 2 point move up for beating the Orange. Wow. 4 point weekend. Up from the depths of Negative Hell. 3 in the BRFL.

Oregon 30 over Utah 28. Shocking. SkHank straddles The Line with 0 after picking up 1.

And then there's Negative World.

Tennessee blows out Missouri 63-37. Sock Puppet gets 1 for the win, DIDDLE, DIDDLE, DIDDLE 5 points, then 1 more for landing at 24. 7 point mega-weekend pushes him near the Line of Cosmic Identity. Minus 1 for SockPuppet.

Iowa blanks Illinois, 28-0. Kirk Ferentz receives a few extra million. No surprises here. Hawkeyes turning on the juice. Too little, too late for DPong. 1 for the moves him up to -4.

Florida 16, LSU 10. Killer Bee is dealt a crippling chomp. Merciless 9 point AP plunge. Avoids the Ream. But, still, minus 10 and her season is in the ditch.

Hello, Darkness. TCU curb-stomped by Oklahoma State and the Mullet-headed Head Coach., 31-6. Every week it can't get worse. Every week it does. I know what hell feels like. JimboAbsoluteSucky at minus 12.

Hey there, ClemBronie. Remember when I "helped" you with that USC pick last year and  you lost 300+? Well, USC is kicking ass this year. Pulled the trigger on the TroyMen a year too soon, apparently. This year's pick? Notre Dame? When I surfed over to their channel they were handling Virginia Tech. Alas. It was not to be. Virginia Tech 34, Golden Domers 31. Scarface deals you a fatal hand. You remain at the bottom of this shit pile. Minus 15. Don't despair. I'm losing to Texas this week.

Talking this weekend and Scenarios:

Meechy v TOSU could not loom larger, BRFL speaking. The winner goes to the conference championship and the potentially point rich playoff run that entails. Clemson, Florida, Wash U already headed to conference championships. But it's THE GAME that's the big show this weekend. Mitigating factor? WAR EAGLE. If the Plainsmen knock off Alabama look for Wash U to be knocking on that playoff door. And the whole playoff thing to be, well, just totally fucked up.

"Our honor defend, we will fight to the end for  Ooooo-hiiiii-O!"

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Flush twice. It is a long way to Columbus

GG Week 13, Michigan Hate Week, Day 2

Ohio State hopes so and says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop.

Columbus Dispatch

Jim Harbaugh eats boogers when he's up 51- 14.
Michigan Hate Week rolls on.

Let's roll out GG, Rivalry Week:

Iron Bowl. #16 Auburn (War Eagle) @ (#1) Alabama.
(#13) Florida Gators @ (#15) Florida State: KLittleBronie vs. Snottie
(#3) Michigan @ (#2) Ohio State. Teeblations vs. Q. Big Blue vs. the Men of the Scarlet and Gray.

Roll the bones.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 12 Results

Welcome to Michigan Hate Week,

GG week 12 was kind of a non-event.
Of course every douche in GG-world went for Louisville, including 'BoSuke. But didn't I tell you to be careful with this one? Tom Herman, the UH coach, is a Mensa Society member, meaning he's crazy smart, and he was the master mind behind the Urban Meyer Death Machine 2014 King Cardale Jones Nat'l Champs team. He was the offensive coordinator. he'll probably be the next coach at Texas and then watch out.
Houston made the Cardinals look silly, Seannie. Admit it. You'll feel better. Your season is on life-support now.
The only GGer who didn't go for L'ville was Teebs! who, in an apparent reprise of his mysterious disappearing act last year, failed to enter any picks.

So, no sweeps. And a lot of  "ones".

SeaScum. Add 1 to go to 31.
DPussy. Add 1 to go to 30.
KBroniePony. Add 1 to go to 30.
CCSuckBalls. Add 2 to pop up to 29.
BroFro. 1 to reach 28. Metal Detector, Bitch. Best tool in the universe other than McLuvin'.
KillerBitch. Strong pull with 2 to go to 26. Grrrrrrr.
McLuvin'. Good show, Foofer. 2 to go to 25.
SockPuke. Season of Pathos continues. 1 to go to 21.
'BoSuckyLongTime. Fucking loser. 1 to go to 21.
Randilingus. 1 to go to 19. You are, like, really bad at this.
Snottie. 1 to go to 19. I have no words to describe your abject failure.
Teebs! Nice move on the pussy out. 18, Mr. No-show.

Let's move on.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

GG Week 12

GG week 12;

Louisville (#5) @ Houston (UNR)
THIS IS A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME, SLUTS, SO GET THOSE VOTES IN!
Houston doesn't suck. Let's see if those Hiesman votes add up to shit, K, Bronies?

Oklahoma (#8) @ West Virginia U (#10)
Big Game Bob and Baker Gayfield vs. the Mountaineers in West Virginny. Anything can happen.

Oklahoma State (#13) @ TCU
You're laughing at the Horned Frogs but the Oklahoma State coach is sporting a mullet. On purpose.

Roll the bones, My Brothers and Sisters,

'BoSuke,
Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 11

It was a major week.

Louisville 44, Wake Forest 12. Win, No Drop, 2 for the move up, 4 total, Seannie G at 35. That's a lot of points, Friends.

Wash U goes down to USC, 26-13. Drop 3, CCS. But worse, playoff hopes are dimming. 24 now and this  may be as good as it gets. Do I feel bad for you? No.

BroFro. Boise State curb-stomps Hawaii 52-16, in Hawaii. Have to respect the focus. You pick up 4 and move to 23. You desperately need a Louisville loss. Fuck. What am I saying? We all need a Louisville loss.

Q, The Dominatrix. BRFL punch-line no more as she rides the Urban Meyer death machine for another week and an ass-whuppin' of hapless Maryland. TOSU 62, Maryland 3. No Heisman love for my boy JT Barrett? Fuck you. Just win, Baby. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, move up 4 in the AP to the #2 spot. That's a 6 pointer this weekend. Q at 23. Men of the Scarlet and Gray!

Teebs. Too bad there are road games, eh, Amigo? How very, very brief the glory. Iowa14, Meechy 13. KhakiPants must die. You have 22 after dropping 2 courtesy of the Almighty AP.

Florida 20, SowCow 7. KBronieFancyLad picks up 3 and stands tall at 18. LSU this weekend.

McLuvin'. Steep and deep depression. Dumbo goes for it on 4th down. Why? Punt the damn football. But no. The final is unranked Pitt 43 over Clemson 42. DeShaun Watson threw the ball 70 times. Unfortunately three of those were interceptions. Heisman? Not so much. You have 10, McCheese and you got off easy. Way easy. Bitch.

Miami 34, Virginia 14. You get a point, Randgina. Judge Keith tried to talk to me about this game because he's from Virginia (I guess). I laughed so hard I almost passed out. Maybe I did pass out. I don't really remember. Does it matter? No. you have 10.

Here's a truckload of Tools in negative territory, including a three way douche-off at minus 1:

Skank the HamSlammer: Oregon pasted by Stanford 52-27. Minus 1.

Killer Beyatch. LSU crushes the Pigs 38-10. Bert Bielema scouts car dealerships and other alternative career pathways. Killer gets 1 for the no drop, 1 for the win, 3 for the move up. Claws her way to Minus 1. Train. Keep. A rollin'.

Snottie. Earth to Snottie. Florida State nukes Boston College 45-7. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. 3 for the move up. Is it come back time? No. Minus 1.

Mixed Emotions Moment. DPo. On the one hand he gets some wood as the Hawkeyes awake from a season long deep coma. Suddenly the O-line that everyone thought would make them a powerhouse comes together. They run over Meechy like a semi-truck runs over a squirrel. But...did it have to be Meechy, he asks himself?  Oh, well. I don't really care, truthfully. Iowa 14, Meechy 13. 1 point for the Hawkeyes. Minus 5 for the DPo.

Tennesssee 49 over Kentucky 36. Kentucky sucky fucky so let's not get too excited here, Sock Pup. What happened? Should have listened to Marty. Is it your quarterback who wants to transfer? Debacle in Knoxville. This time next year Butch Jones will be building model planes and "spending more time with family". Your demise is a given. Minus 8.

Jimbosuke. TCU with a bye. Hallelujah. The only way I can be sure not to pick up another loss. Minus 12. So far down it looks like up. Denise has confiscated all my belts and shoe laces. Doesn't seem fair.

ClemboSlice. Purple Face Brian Kelly whups up on the USArmy Military Academy, 44-6. Wow. I  hope you're proud of yourself, Brian. You Domer scumbag. Minus 15 for the Dutch Boy.

So much fun.

Yours sincerely,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Iowa v Meechy

And this is why I am so very, very happy that Jim Harbaugh is the coach of scUM.
I couldn't hate Rich Rodriguez. He was a megadouche who fetishized Josh Groban, doomed to failure because he just wasn't a "Meechy man".
And he was trying to run a PAC-12 offense in the BiG.
Fat Brady Hoke was so hopelessly in over his head that the only emotions he could inspire (even in Buckeye fans) were sympathy and pathos. I wanted to give him a hug.

But Harbaugh? Finally. A thing that I can hate without limits. I can hate this khaki-pants motherfucker from the moment I wake up until the moment that the second magnum of wine finally makes me "go to sleep".
Sometimes I dream about him being torn apart by wild dogs. Said dogs devouring his hipster glasses, shredding his M for Moron cap. These are nice dreams. Dreams from which I do not want to wake.

Here's how Jim Hardonbaugh deals with an injury to the quarterback who led the Wolverines to an undefeated season until Saturday and soldiered on through the final series with a fucking BROKEN COLLARBONE, which hurts. A lot.
Which is weird becuase the back up QB may actually be better than Speight.

I turned the game off when the Blue picked Iowa with, what, 1:38 left? And what does Khaki-Boy Long-Time do? Two runs that haven't worked all day, one to faux Heisman candidate Geoffrey Peppers, and then a super low percentage sideline throw downfield from his broken collarbone QB that stops the clock. ???...the fuck?
A line drive punt and (questionable) face mask later plus an uncharacteristic defensive meltdown and BOOP, Meechy is a one loss team and all BiG fans are going to have to learn how to say "James Franklin and Penn State are 2016 BiG Champions" without vomiting.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 11 Results

GG week 11:

Baylor steps into suck-mode. Oklahoma 45-Baylor 24. Seth Russell carted off.
LSU runs through Arkansas like shit through a tin horn. 38-10, Tigers dominate Pigs.
USC whomps Wash U. Adoree Jackson. 26-13 Troymen.

Two sweeps, and two sweeps only: Seannie G. and 'BoSuke (Ja's blessings rain down upon Him).

Seannie G with the SWEEP. Add 5 to take the lead at 30.

MyLittleKBronie adds 2 to go to 29.
DPull trusts Bert Bielema. How'd that work out? Add 2 to 29.

Chip n' Dale grabs 2 to go to 27. There is no Liberace in GG. Bitch.
BroFro, slipping into darkness. Add 2 to 27.

Killer Bee. Add 2 to make 24.
McLuvin'. Simple mind, simple picks. Add 2 to make 23.
SockPuppet. Season of the Yawn. Pick up 2, settle at 20
Whoa! Jimbosuke with the SWEEP. Out of the deep dark dungeon of despair. 20.

Randilingus. You picked Baylor. I hope you were drunk. I'd sure get drunk now if I were you. You got 1 on the weekend. 18. Sub-'BoSuke. How does that feel, Beeeeetch?!
Teebs! Was it a Wisconsin thing? That made you trust MegaVaj Bert? 1. You have 18. Ha ha ha.
Snottie. Two great picks and then...bamboozled by El Masturbatoro, (aka Bert). Shame. Humiliation. 18.

Another wonderful week in GG. Think I'll fry me some eggs and drink a magnum in honor of me.

'BoSuke.
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 11

Hello, Fancy Lads.

Baylor (#25) @ Oklahoma (#(9).
Baker Mayfield goes down on Shock Linwood. Or maybe it's the other way around.
You make the call.

LSU (#19) @ unranked Arkansas. Not as far fetched as it seems. Pick carefully, Obe wan Kenobi.

USC (unranked) @ (#4) Washington U Huskies. Seems like a no-brainer? Who has Wash U beaten?

Roll the bones, Boners.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

BRFL Week 10 Results

Louisville 52 over Boston College 7. More heroics from Lamar Jackson. One man army. Seannie G breaks on through to the other side of 30. He has 31, still The King.

Wash U blows up Cal 66-27. What was the whole Marshawn Lynch bobble-head injury cart all about? He almost ran over one of the band with the thing. Jake Browning making a Heisman case.
CCS rolls to sole possession of second place with 27.

Meechy mauls Maryland 59-0. We're talking about Maryland here. Still, Teebs! ascendant with 24 BRFL points. Dreams of the Liberace dance in his head.

Boise State bounces back, 45-31 over San Jose State. Still, BroFro's ass is sucking canal water, play-off wise. Is he a BRFL genius or just a punk? You make the call. He has 19.

THE Ohio State University 62, Nebraska 3. Meyer's minions come to life. Curtis Samuel went to Erasmus Hall, HS, in Brooklyn, NY. That's all you need to know. QWoman. Blessings be upon her for keeping her faith in the Men of the Scarlet and Gray. 17 points.

Crash dive. Crash dive. Close all seaward hatches below decks. Bert Bielema and the Pigs down Florida 31-10. Nothing worse than that. An emasculating, cock-stomping weekend for K-Bronie.
Minus 12 on the weekend (not a misprint) and the Little Pony sits at 15. How brief the glory.

Clemson torches Syracuse 54-0. Does this mean anything? It does to McLuvin', last seen having multiple orgasms in Jamesville as his Tigers post up at 12.

Miami 51 over Pitt 28. Whole lotta' nothin'. Randoodle consoles himself by knowing he lives in Montana and the rest of us don't. 9 points for the sodbuster.

Let's get negative.

USC getting better every week. Can't say the same for the Ducks, SkHank. TroyMen 45, Oregon 20.
Minus 1 for you, Chancre.

Penn State drills the BiG punching bag for a couple hours on Saturday. PSU 41- Iowa 14. Somewhere someone is starting a "Fire Kirk Ferentz" web site. DPo in a living hell. Minus 6.

Alabama 10 over LSU 0, in Tuscaloosa. Alabama defense just too much and Killer Bee feels the pain.
It's minus 4 on the weekend for Ms. Bitch and she's back at -6. Personally, I thought the AP treated you poorly, KB.

.Florida State slips by NC State 24-20. Jimbo Fisher blaming refs again? Facts is facts. FSU just not that good. Snottie's 'sure thing' play off pick is a dog's ass with fleas. Minus 6 is your address, Scott.

Tennessee 55 over perennial power house Tennessee Tech, 0. Season of the Bitch rolls on for SockPullIt. Leave a message at 1-800-Minus 9.

The USNaval Academy puts another nail in Brian "the Chameleon" Kelly's coffin, 28-27 in Jacksonville. Why Jacksonville? Probably because a lot of asshole Domer alumni live there with their  blazers and penny loafers and perma-tans. Fuck them. ClemboSlice absorbs another body blow. Minus 16.

And here's the one that pisses me off:

TCU 62, Baylor 22. This game was in Waco. Baylor had the dumb-ass BLACK-OUT thing going on, sporting all black uni-s that cost probably more than I make in a year. The fans wearing all black which is pretty much what you wear every day in Waco because you're a fucking gothed-out hyper-Christian freak.
Baylor was #17 in the AP. Not, like, 24 or something. #17. TCU rolls in there with their super young team, wearing the same old doofy white get-ups with a dumb frog on the helmet and proceeds to just cock-whip Baylor like a bitch.
Kyle Hicks? 192 yards on 22 totes and 5 (yes, 5) TDs.
Kenny Hill? 17/30 for 244 yds and a TD.
A pick 6 for the defense to go with their 3 sacks, 5 pass deflections and 6 TFLs.
No turnovers.
Just total, down home, Texas-style, apocalyptic destruction of the #17 team in the AP.

And yet...no love. Not even a single vote.
'BoSuke Season of the Dog drags on.
Hate.
Life.
Minus 12,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Heismaniac 2.2 - Circle the Jackwagons

This is your reminder: Heismaniac ballots due Tuesday, November 8 (election day, see how that works?).Check out entry on October 25 for the how to's and what nots of the thing. If you are totally inept and can't use that scrolly wheel on your mouse to navigate back to October, go ahead and ballot yourself right here. I'll fix your shit from there.

The gig, in a nutsack:
Pick three dudes in order of finish.
Pick three positions (but only two of them can be the same).
Pick three conferences (but only two can be the same).
Player, position and conference do not need to match.


Update
Bonus Shit
Gimme 7 guys that are getting votes in order (Bonus Points). 'Bosuke coined it Magnificent 7. Fine, or Seven Deadly Dudes. Whatever. 2 points for each dude you list who ends up in the top 7 (no particular order). 3 points for each dude you get in the correct position.

November 8, Ladies and Germs. Vote!

GG Week 10 Results

Here's how it went down.

Navy over the Golden Domers 28-27. 6 of us picked the USN and 6 picked ND
Cornhuskers 3, The Men of the Scarlet and Gray 62. TOSU never punted. After struggling with Northwestern and losing to PSU I didn't see this total beatdown coming. Turns out Penn State doesn't suck.
Alabama 10, LSU 0. Who the hell is going to beat Alabama this year? War Eagle.

DPo adds 2, tripped up by the Domers. Still the leader with 28.
MyLittleKBronie SWEEPS to add  5. 27.

3 way log-jam at 25:

BroTatoeChip adds 2 to 25.
CCSlut adds 2 to 25.
SeaScum SWEEPS 5 to go to 25.

Killer Bee adds 2 to 22. Smart play on the Bama pick.
McLuvin' adds 2 to 21. Nebraska, Mike? Really?
SockPuppet SWEEPS to 18.
Randingus adds 2 to 17.
Teebs! adds 2 to 17. You picked the Huskers? Have you forgotten the stain of Tom Osborne?
Snottie adds 1 to 16. Horrible performance.

'BoSuke SWEEPS and maintains his lock on last place with 15. Go 'Suke!

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 10

GG week 10:

A lot of boring games but...


Navy vs Notre Dame,  in Jacksonville, Fla.
#9 Nebraska @  #6 THE Ohio State University
#1 Alabama @ #15 LSU

Let's see those picks,

Jimbosuke,
Commikssioner for Life