Search This Blog

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

BRFL Week 14: War Eagle



Week 14, BRFLers. The Weekend of the Apocalypse.

This list includes some non-BRFL games (*)

Miami @ Pittsburgh.  abc. 3:30 Friday. RandPooper.

*( #2 Florida State @ Florida. ESPN. 12 Saturday. Buckeye fans lovin' the Gators.)
*( #3 THE Ohio State University @  evil scUM.. Noon. Death or glory, Men of the Scarlet and Gray!)

Minnesota @ #11 Michigan State. Noon. BiG Ten Network. Chipn'Sniff.

*(#1 Alabama @ #4 Auburn. CBS. 3:30. Iron Bowl. Bury Satan on the Plains. War Eagle.)

#9 Baylor @ TCU. ESPN2. 3:30. Jimbosuke. Commissioner for Life.
Penn State @ #15 Wisconsin. ESPN. 3:30. PickleSmoocher.
Georgia @ Georgia Tech. abc. 3:30. McLovin'.
Virginia Tech @ Virginia. ESPNU. 3:30. BroFro.
#6 Clemson @ #10 SowCow. ESPN2. 7 PM. Snottie.
#21 Texas A&M @ #5 Missouri ESPN. 7:45 Timay!
#22 UCLA @ #23 USC. abc. 8. ClemboSlice takes on DBlow. BRFL intramural DeathMatch.

Schweet, Bros.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

GG Week 14: Go Nuclear.



GG Week 14. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

All Saturday games:

#1 Alabama @ #4 Auburn Tigers. War EAGLE! 3:30 PM.
#6 Clemson @ #10 South Carolina U.  In state hate. 7 PM.
#22 UCLA @ #23 USC. Cross town hate. 8 PM

Blessings and keepings upon Jimbosuke.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Monday, November 25, 2013

Week 13 - The Fall of the Commish

http://i.imgur.com/VncBH.gif






Dress fly, coach fly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zzBtXmWxqxs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=n9QnqpVZBTY


http://i.imgur.com/lZE9r54.gif

http://i.imgur.com/aZm4C6g.gif


http://i.imgur.com/aZm4C6g.gif



a picture that makes the league question their sexuality and depth of their moral depravity>






Current Standings










Pts
Commish 41
Chip 33
Chuckie 27
Scott 24
Clem 15
Randidler 14
Drew 11
Paul 9
Sean 7
Timmy! 6
Q-Love -4
McStool -14




Commish - mention something about how he finally lost and may or may not have a thing for Asians. Boys. Asian boys.

Chip - call him some sort of venereal disease, say he's arrogant AND still insecure about his prick. Or pick. Mention how Sparty always implodes. Also mention that a ream is coming. And that he is a smug shit.

Chuckles- call him something semen-related; mention how uninspired his Wisconsin pick is. He too will be reamed.

Scott - Say something that will make him question his sexuality. Make fun of Clemson playing the Citadel. In November.

Clem - make sure Clem starts to worry about getting reamed next week. Tell him to start lubing his bung or something. Include comments about how he doesn't know what he is doing. Make a clever alteration to his name related to female genitalia or semen stains. Nah, just calling him Clem is funny enough.

Randidler - Refer to Randi as a she, mock her pick and how far she has fallen. Also, spell her name with an "i" because that's really funny.

Drew - Tell everyone how great you are and how USC will be in the top 10 after the Bowls. Admire your pick. And your wittiness. Mention how great it is to have a blog to share your genius.

Paul- refer to his hair as pubes. Remind everyone how dumb it is to pick Vagina Tech. Maybe misspell Virginia so it looks like Vagina. That's funny stuff right there. Clever, too.

Sean- Kinda make a big deal about how both he and Q are losing money. Question whether he really knows "what's going on".

Timmay! - Continue ongoing reference to a handicap retarded child. Tell him how ill-advised his pick is.

Q-spot - Make a clever reference to her lady pleasure place by altering her name. Tell her how bad her pick is and how both she and Sean are losing money.

McTurd - Call him Mc-something feces related. Ponder how large his bung has become. Suggest various organs he could sell to make a dent in his debt. But don't mention the eye. Not the eye. Off limits. But if you did, you could say funny things about how he doesn't need to watch Georgia suck it up any more. Or suggest various items that could be used to replace the sold eye. Like a bung. 

Sunday, November 24, 2013

GG Week 14 Results. Commissioner's Abused.


I guess it could have been worse. I could have Oregon.

But I have Baylor. Who got completely owned by Okie State. Every single one of us picked Baylor except DPo. That should have been a sign.
Hating.
Very depressed.
Hung over.
Grateful that the AP let me off the hook with a gentle bump downward of only 6 spots.

So. To GG: Behold, Bitches,

BroFro: Still out front. Adds 2. Douched on the Baylor game. Dufus. 40.
DBlow: Second place sucks hind tit. Adds 2. Nailed the Baylor loss, fucked up and picked UCLA. 38.
'Bosuke: Owns third place. Added one. Condemned to a life of Douchebaggery. 30.
ClemboSlice: owns 1/3 share of fourth. Zero correct picks 2 weeks in a row. Kill yourself. 29.
Snottie: 1 point for the LSU pick. You're no genius, Homes. 29.
Seannie Graham. 1 point. LSU pick. Douchebag. 29.
Qlove: 2 points. Whiffed on the Baylor game. I spit on your foolishness. 27. Buddy up to McLovin'.
McLovin': 1. Arizona State pick. You picked Baylor. Condemnation and hell fire for you. 27.
CCS: 1. Arizona State. Chose Baylor. Asshole. 26.
SockPuppet: 0. Again. Gave Baylor the nod. You are a numbskull. So sad. 22.
Randle: 2. Should not have picked Baylor. Confirms your "retard" bona fides. 21.
Timay!: 0.Yawn. By not picking you prove yourself smarter than the other 11 turds in the BRFL. 20.

I hate all of mankind. You included, BRFLer.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.







Friday, November 22, 2013

Bert Bielema Still Sucks.

And now, so does Arkansas. Who green lighted hiring this douche?
Too good not to share, Amigos.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Done by LSUFreek

BRFL Week 14: Earthquake in Stillwater.



Earthquake in Stillwater, Oklahoma this morning. Just wait 'til Saturday night.
Check out the Herbie bug eyes. " Is that an earhquake in my pants or am I just glad to see me?"

BRFL Week 14:

The Citadel @ #7 Clemson. Noon. Saturday. Snottie domination.
Michigan State @ Northwestern. Noon. The Chipn'Sparty train keeps a rollin'.
Virginia @ Miami. Noon. Too close to call. BFD. Randy doomsday scenario.
#21 Louisville @ Memphis. Gammajamma/Teddy Bridgewater bromance.
#12 Texas A&M @ #22 LSU. Tigers open a can of whoop-ass on Johnny Suckballs, Timay! 3:30
#19 Wisconsin @ #25 Minnesota. A good game in the BiG. Not a great one. 3:30
#17 Arizona State @ #14 UCLA. ClemboSlice vs. the Evil Sun Devil. Kill, Clem. Kill. 7:00
Kentucky @ Georgia. McLovin' playin' for the McLovin' of the game. 7 PM
#4 Baylor @ #10 Oklahoma State. Put your faith in God and Art Briles, Jimbosuke. 8 PM
#23 USC @ Colorado. DBlow's resurgent Trojans bending over the Buffs. 9:30 PM
Boise State @ San Diego State. Q woman looking for bowl eligibility. 10:30 PM

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Kirk Hebrstreit almost defecated in his trousers on live television once.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

GG week 14, Gridiron Gotterdamerung



Nope. Now this is how you kick a field goal. Note #9 Drew Dileo, the slot receiver/holder who was, like, in the end zone with 10 seconds left. 


Northwestern, meet dagger. Dagger, this is Northwestern.


Bitcheremos:

#12 Texas A&M @ #22 LSU. Crazy Les Miles v Johnny FootLong. 3:30 Sat. CBS
#17 Arizona St @ #14 UCLA. Sun Devils v ClemboSlice. 7 PM FOX
#4 Baylor @ #10 Oklahoma State. Big12 showdown in Stillwater. 8 PM abc

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep.

Jimbosuke
Commissioner for Life

Monday, November 18, 2013

Week 12 BRFL - Randream and McThornream Take It in the Wrong Hole



Current Standings Pts
Commish 47
Chip 29
Clem 23
Chuckie 23
Scott 21
Timmy! 16
Randidler 13
Paul 9
Drew 9
Sean 5
Q-Love -4
McStool -15


I feel good. Gettin' diddled will do that to a fella. USC upsets Stanford, which only the Commish saw coming -and his addle-minded sibling who was just farting around with his picks, and emerges from the primordial Kiffin ooze at 23 in the AP. Nice. That's 8 points if you are keeping track at home. Now tied with Pubefro, which I find totally embarrassing and unacceptable. What could be better? McThornbody's thornhole just got embiggened by another AP reaming, losing to Auburn in the most sphincter clenching way. The second ream is always easier. Actually, it's not. I was just kidding. You are losing a lot of money. I mean, let me try to quantify your suckiness. It's like... nope. I can't. I really can't picture how bad this is for you. 

Remember how we thought Randream was hot shit for his Miami pick? No? Me neither. Bitch got reamed. 

MSU wins, but I'm not impressed, and neither should you be, Discharge. Check this out. Louisville wins and drops. Two spots. Two!  Sweet. UCLA wins and drops again. Virginia Tech on the rim of the top 25 and Pubefrom loses the sweet Mo. Done.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

GG Week 13 Results: Commissioner, so like a God.



GG Week 13, PickleSmoochers:

One sweep, a certain "Jimbosuke" with the trey. Give him his 5. Locked up with ClemboSlice for third @ 29. Hah-cha-cha!
DBlow nets 2, moves up to 36. Threatening the BroFo'.
BroFro disaster plan weekend: Hokies douche and he nets a measly 1 on GG. Holdin on: 38.
ClemboSlice, tied with the Stud despite filing a big, fat fucking goose-egg this weekend. 0. 29.
SeaGra. Zero. Horrible. 28.
Snottie. 1. Cell mates with Seannie. 28.
McStool. 2. Big NutSack on the USC pick, Bro'. You have 26.
CCS. 1 for you. 25, TextMonkey.
SockPup. 1. 22. Consistently mediocre.
Timay. 0. No show. 20. Ask your accountant if you can make your GG money a charitable deduction.
Randude. 1. 19. Suffering is the path to enlightenment.
Q. 0. No show. 25. Waiting to make your move? Clue time: it's week 13.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Here Comes the Duke, GG Week 13.



S'right. Duke. Featured on GG, Week 13.

#12 Oklahoma State @ #24 Texas
#23 Miami @ Duke
#5 Stanford @ USC

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep. Got nutz? Pick USC.

Let's go Preview side, Week 13:

Georgia Tech @ #8 Clemson. Thursday, 7:30. No, I don't give a shit if that's a BCS rank or an AP rank.
Clemson with the old fashioned beat down. Happy Days, Snottie.

Washington @ #13 UCLA. Friday, 9 PM. Earth to ClemboSlice. Come in, Slice.
Bruins with the win over the hapless Huskies. Smile, Sailor.

Indiana @ #22 Wisconsin. Saturday @ 12. Hoosier/Badger bugger-fest. Hate 'em both.
Wisky gets the W over suckee long-time Hoosiers. BFD. 

Maryland @ VTech. 12:30. BroFro waitin' on the diddle.
Gonna' be waiting a while on that diddle, I guess. Maryland upsets the Pokies, BroFro doomed.

#25 Georgia @ #7 Auburn. Those no drop points were fun while they lasted, McLovin'. 3:30.
McLovin' you deserve better. Knock the ball DOWN, Dufus DB for Georgia. DOWN.

#16  MSpartyU @ Nebraska. Bo "My Brother is a Crack Head" Pellini must die. 3:30
Mark D'Antonio never sleeps. He shits Nebraska out his ass like yesterday's sausage. 

#23 Miami @ Duke. 3:30, the Hour of the Apocalypse, Randude. PeptoBismol truck on call for you.
The Hour of the Apocalypse is nothing to fuck with, Homies. Duke rides a white horse. 

Texas Tech @ #4 Baylor. God bless the Commissioner and his Massive Awesomeness. 7 PM.
Kliff Kingsbury: PickleSmoocher. Die, Bitch.

Houston @ #20 Louisville. Uh-oh, Graham-zo. 7 PM.
Cardinals pull one out of their asses.

#5 Stanford @ USC. Cardinal looking past the Troymen? Two words: Trap. Game. 8 PM.
What do I know? I'm just the fucking Commissioner for Life is all. USC 20, Assholes 17.

Wyoming @ Boise State. QLove loves having the Cowboys at home. Beatdown. Diddle? Not. 10:15 PM.
Boise slams a little BrokeBack Mountain shit to the Cowboys. W for the SpudFarmers.

Texas A&M has a bye. Johnny Football stops in College Station bar for quick blow and go. Arrest follows.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life




Tuesday, November 12, 2013

GG Week 12, Sweeps Denied


In case you missed the game, here is Baylor dismantling Oklahoma.
What does it mean?
Oklahoma actually kind of sucks, so maybe it don't mean a thing.
Or maybe the Bears are for real? We'll see. Tough games ahead.

GG.
No sweeps thanks to a Michigan Mega-Douche.

BroFro world domination continues: Picks up one, 37.
DBlow grabs 1, second place at 34.
ClemboSlice loves third place. adds one, 29.
Seannie Graham picks up one, 28.
Snottie adds one, 27.
Qlove, picks up a deuce, 25.
Massive log jam @ 24: McLovin' with 2, CCS with the 2, Jimbosuke, a deuce.
SockPuppet slams home the goose-egg again, 21.
Timay! the no show nets him zero. 20.
Randude almost sweeps, 2 puts him at 16.

I feel compelled to point out that Randiddle and Jimbosuke were the only two Stud-Bolts wise enough to pick Stanford over that false God, the Oregon Ducks. And QLovin' and McStool were the only ones to pick 'Braska. That's got to hurt a little, DPo.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Monday, November 11, 2013

Week 11 - McThornbody Diddled on the Bottom


The-21-Most-Awkward-Family-Photos06


Commish 44
Chip 26
Clem 23
Chuckie 20
Randidler 19
Scott 18
Timmy! 14
Paul 9
Sean 6
Drew 1
Q-Love -5
McStool -10

Diddle for McStool after Georgia beats down Appalachian State. Meanwhile, BroFro's Chokies beat Randream's Hurricanes in Miami and get no lovin'. At least it was a 10 point drop for the soon to be reamed Reamdiddle.

Chip-n-Sparty is moves into second behind the almighty Commish. Expect Lacavapalooza to be a blowout next summer. Clem is barely hanging on to third.

Bottom three are the usual suspects, Stud Muffin, Q and McStink. But you can see that for yourself.



Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Death-Fest, Week 12



23-black-people-not-amused-by-white-people (6)



Amigos and Amigas!

Week 12:

#10 Oklahoma @ Baylor #6.  7:30 Thursday. Big 12 Armageddon
Baylor 41, Okie 12. Bryce Petty making a Heisman statement f'sure.

#3 Oregon @ Stanford #5.  9 PM Thursday. PAC 12 Gotterdamerrung.
Oregon Tree'd again. Dux almost pull it out at the end. Suddenly, Les Miles is MY MAN!

Louisville @ UConn  8:30 Friday. SeaGra Redemption Song.
UConn goes to 0-8 and Louisville bags a W. What a waste of Teddy Bridgewater.

App. State @ Georgia 12:30 Saturday. McHatin'.
Didn't exactly dominate early on, McLove. Yet, you diddle. Where's the justice?

USC @ California 3:30  Saturday. DBlow Deathfest.
Ass-hammering the Golden Bears, DBlow? Ed Orgeron is your God.

Mississippi State @ Texas A&M 3:30 Saturday. Johnny washed up.
Out scoring another mediocre opponent. Johnny 2 time Heisman? I think so.

BYU @ Wisconsin #24. 3:30. How are you pussies ranked, Sock? Mormons kill your buzz.
Wisky rolls on. Mormania not an issue.

Virginia Tech @ #11 Miami. 7 PM. With other choices, you gave VT the nod, Bro Fro. Live with it.
Sooprise, sooprise, sooprise, Goober. Miami goes over a cliff and BroFro gets off life support.

#19 UCLA @ Arizona. Go, ClemboSlice.
UCLA looks shaky in a "win" over the anti-Chirst, RichRod. Worrisome, ClemboSlice. Right the ship, Bitch.

Jimbosuke.
Commissioner for LIfe



Monday, November 4, 2013

GG Week 12, Yer Blues, Fucker.


GG week 12:
Thursday, 7:30 PM: #10 Oklahoma @ #6 Baylor
Thursday, 9 PM. #3 Oregon @ #5 Stanford
Saturday, 3:30 PM Nebraska @ Michigan

1 for a win, sweep all three, get 5.

Deal.

Jimbosuke.

Enjoy possibly the greates music video of all time.

Week 10 - Chip-n-Shizzle in da House



Eric Upchurch/MGoBlog


Commish 41
Randidler 29
Chip 21
Clem 18
Scott 17
Chuckie 14
Timmy! 11
Paul 8
Sean 3
Drew 0
Q-Love -5
McStool -16

Commish sits this one out and retains the lead. The rest of the schedule does NOT contain Wofford, Buffalo or Louisiana-Monroe. Oklahoma next week. Five loseable games coming. I smell the ream.

Randidler with 29 in a losing "effort". Proves the 'Canes are marginal at best. I see a loss next week... and are you wondering how they'll play at Pitt November 29? Long range weather forecast calls for snow. Long range Hurricanes forecast calls for major suckage.

Chip-n-schizzle, smug bastard of smugness, manhandles the sieve-like Wolverines and their "manball" rushing stats of record negative yards. Sparty got no offense and they got no one of importance remaining on their schedule.That's what we in the bidness call being in the driver's seat.

UCLA wins but the sledding gets tougher. Potential losses for all remaining games. Including the USC game. Especially the USC game. Clem achieved maximum points; only pain and disillusionment remain.

Scott knows Clemson's best days are behind them. He knows this. He really, really knows this.OK, maybe they slip past the Citadel (the Citadel???, in November???), but two more losses are imminent.

Spooge Puppet sees the remaining schedule and sees nothing but a sea of upsets, especially when folklore trophies are at stake. And pollsters hate the BIG and want none of them to be ranked. Wisconsin gladly obliges. 

Texas A&M has Miss State, LSU and Mizzou upcoming. Remember when you thought that was a good pick, Timmay? Yeah, me neither.

BroPube gets another L this weekend. Wish we could ream him again but will probably have to wait to change the rules. Picks up a win next week against the hapless 'Canes, but loses the remainder of the season. Can we stop picking VT now, fellas?

Yeah, here's a good idea: pick a team that was in the shittiest conference that is now in the shittiest conference with the good teams removed. Because pollsters love rewarding that whole "strength of schedule thing" (insert my whiny sarcastic voice here). I'd tell Sean who Louisville is going to lose to next but have no idea what conference they are in. One more loss and you get the ream. I see two more losses coming up.

USC, baby! Nothing but upside. Likely to win out, win the conference championship and win their BCS bowl. Bold pick, Champ. Bold pick.

Boise State can't string consecutive wins together. Sorry Q, in that conference, one loss gets you unranked. You got 3. But thanks for playing.

Don't think McThornbody could get any lower. But he can try. App State is a comin'. Overlook them and you're toast. You're toast anyway, but you'd be toastier toast.Still see a diddle ahead. Then a ream.




Sunday, November 3, 2013

Calling Heismaniacs



Heismaniac picks. Need 'em.

Here's how it works:

There are a shit ton of Heisman voters. Did you know that? I didn't.
Like, thousands. Let's say, 2500. Including the "public' pick that Nissan, Inc. has signed over to a bunch of drunk, Saturday afternoon, College Game Day voters. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

So, you, the BRFLer. Proceed in this way. Pick your Heisman winners. Assign them numbers of votes. Enter Ballot. Wait for results:

Example:

Jamis Winston:  1,000 1st place votes, winner, Heisman Trophy.
Johnny Manziel. 600 votes for 1st place. runner up. Heisman.
Tajh Boyd. 400 first place votes. 1st place second runner up. Heisman.

This is what I need to know from you. Who gets how many first place votes. I don't care about second and third place votes. Each Heisman voter gets to vote for second and third place but in our league we don't give a shit about that.

So, let's say we all pick the winner. The tie breaker is who got the closest to the actual number of first place votes for the winner. Shouldn't be hard to crown the BRFL Heismaniac king.

Give it a try.

I'll give you until Wednesday. If I'm the only one who votes I'm keeping the money.


Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG Week 11 Results


Because the Commissioner knows YOU need to know:

Seannie, a near total douche-out, snags 1 on the weekend. Lame. 27.
Snott, picks up 5. 26. Meh.
McLovin', grabs a 6 pack, 22. Respectability is possible someday.
BroFro, sub par performance, 3 for the Pubemeister, still leading at 36.
Randude, horrible weekend in the BRFL. Make it a douche-pair, gets 3, total 16. Crash and burn.
QLove, 2 also. 23. How bout those Broncos?
Timay! HOLY SHIT! Timay! bags the 12. Picked every game except Oregon State. How could we all blow that game? Ed Orgeron is an SEC coach. Now that he is free of the retard Lane Kiffin he's got USC kicking ass. Huge fuck-up for everyone. Timay! instantly more likeable with 20 GG points.
ClemboSlice, 5er, 28, new life, Amigo.
Jimbosuke, 5, paltry 22 total. Laughable.
CCS, snagging 5, 23.
DPull, pockets 5, 33, threatening BroNutz.
SockSackUp, 4, mediocre total at 21. Disappointed.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.