GG Week 6 Results

 Week 6

There were 4 sweeps this week. Guess who one of them was? 

We'll get to that.

Iowa State Cyclones 30, Cincinnati Bearcats 38. This looks like it was a close game. It wasn't. Cincinnati reeled off 17 unanswered points in the first quarter and it took until the end of the third quarter for this shit-show to start looking like it might be a game. But then the refs went crazy and starting tossing the hankies every other play, starting at 14:07 in the fourth quarter when then flagged the Cyclones' coach for unsportsmanlike conduct. From then on there was a penalty, like, every other play. I quit counting at 21. Personal fouls. Back to back false starts. The favorite was 'illegal player downfield' on the RPOs. The peronal fouls went against the 'Clones. Everything else went against Cincy. Whatever.

Vanderbilt 14, Alabama 30. This game was actually closer than the score looks. There was some hitting going on. Sean Payton must have crawled out from under the tool shed and offered a bounty on Diego Pavia (though why he would do that I have no idea). He got knocked around. A lot. Alabama was too much for the Commodores. The Bama QB is fiery in a fucking-geek-stay-away-from-my-sister way. 

Miami Hurricanes 28, Florida State 22. Florida Man on Florida Man violence is pretty vicious. That nobody died as a result of this game is a miracle. Florida State is good but Miami looks like championship calibre shit. This year's Portal Jackpot winner looks to be Carson Beck who was rainbowing picture perfect piss missiles and dropping them in the basket of a couple of very fast young black guys. Still gotta' think Mario Cristobal finds a way to fuck this up.

Q: 1. Now you have 12. Regression to the mean.

Chiba. 2. You have 6. Stinky.

DogTheBountyHunter. 2. Up to 10 now. Cheating?

Lola. 1. Total 6. So bad at this.

Ronde'. 0. GUTTERBALL. Two weeks in a row. Still, total 12.

DPo. 1. Total 6. You have a lot of things going for you. GG isn't one of them.

SockPuppy. 2. Have 8. I smell farts.

KBro. SWEEP! 5 to go to 13. You usually suck at GG. What gives?

$$uke. SWEEP! 5 to go to 12. Door mat? Not this week, assholes. 

Psycho. SWEEP! 5 to go to 11. Out of the darkness crawls the Devil Spawn.

Teebs. 1. You have 11. Just another turd in the bowl, Timmy!

McLovin. 1. Total 12. So much better than your usual bottom-feeder role.

Big Dom. 2. Total 15. Still holds the lead. Investigation pending.

BreauxFreaux. SWEEP! 5 to make it 13. I feel threatened. 

I have eyes on all of you.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life