KBron: Memphis shuts out and generally decimates North Alabama at home, 40 - 0.
CCS: The SMU Mustangs sneak by upset-minded Nevada on the road, 29 - 24 in week 0. The Ponies also kicked the living shit out of a squad from some place called Houston Christian, 59 to 7. This bludgeoning of some fine Christians garnered the Southern Methodists another point in the one poll that matters to the Big Man Upstairs. The BRFL.
BreauxFreaux: Boise State in a shoot-out, on the road vs Georgia Southern, Broncos log the 'W', 56 - 45. Boise RB Ashton Jeanty with 267 yds and 6 rushing TDs on just 20 totes. O-line opens gaping holes.
DPo: How does perennial Conference USA powerhouse Liberty U manage to come up with a 'pay-day game'? Answer: They find a team called the 'Campbell Fighting Camels' (I'm not making this up) out of Cullowhee, North Carolina, and they manage to malign the poor fucking Camels, at home, 41 - 24. It was 17 - 10, Jesus Freaks, at the half. Cause for concern?
Ronde': VTech Hokies go down to Vanderbilt on the road. 34 - 27, Commodores, in OT. Sadness in House Ronde'.
$$uke: Louisville entertains and obliterates Austin Peay 62 - 0. True freshman RB Isaac Brown runs for 123 but ... Austin Peay.
DogTBH: Kansas takes it to the Lindenwood Lions (?!), out of St. Charles, MO, 48 - 3. Rock Chalk Jay Hawk. The Jayhawks log a 'W" at home against a fucking nobody posse from Missouri.
Lola: Last second touchdown dooms the Bayou Bengals. USC 27 over LSU 20, at a neutral site and Brian Kelly is pissed off. He has a talented but undisciplined mob on his hands. He's raised up a Personal Foul Machine and now he's God damned pissed at them. Deep breaths, Coach. It wasn't even a conference game.
Snottie: Tennessee Vols 66, Chattanooga Mocs 3. What the fuck is a 'Moc'? It's a Mockingbird, okay? Let's move on.
Nico Iamaleava 22/28, 314 yds, 11.2 avg. per pass completion, 3 TDs, 0 INT, QBR 81.6. And, oh yeah, the Vols churned out 304 on the ground.
SockPuppet: The Hurricanes pound a half a dozen more nails into Billy Napier's coffin as they roll into The Swamp and cock-whip the Gators 41 - 17. Cam Ward is on a mission.
ChibaChews: Utah humiliates Southern Utah in Rice-Eccles Stadium, 49 - 0. Pay-day game much? Still. Cam Rising is back. 10/15 for 254 and a 16.9 avg., 5 TDs and a 91.9 QBR. The Utes log a total of 328 and 6 TDs up top, yet their TOP RECEIVER accounted for only 34 yds total. Spreading it around.
Q: Florida State opens up on the road vs. Georgia Tech and ... gets dumped with the walk-off FG by the Bumble Bees or whatever. FSU 21, GTech 24. Hey, the game was in fucking IRELAND. They serve beer in Ireland. Everybody and their brother Bob were probably shit-faced drunk by the end of the first quarter. Hard to draw conclusions from this game.
But wait. There's more.
The GTech smack-a-bitch-up number in Dublin was week ZERO. The Seminoles followed that up with a Monday night game this week against another conference foe, Boston College. Florida State 13, Boston College 28. FSU looked zombie-like. Hello?! They were in Ireland 9 days ago. Why the hell would you send a bunch of teenagers to Europe and then have them play a Monday night game 9 days later?
Still not buying that FSU sucks but, like, super glad I didn't pick them.
Timmy!: Penn State 34, West Virginia 12, in Morgantown, WV. Some kind of apocalyptic mini tornado delays the game at the half but can't obscure the fact that the Nittany defense is for real, and Drew Allar does not suck at the QB position.
McLovin: Ohio State 52, Akron 6, in The Shoe for the Buckeye opener. Folks, the Akron Zips gave the Scarlet and Gray all they could handle for a half and then, depth being a 'thing' in college football, the Bucks pulled away. The take-away? Ohio State has O-line issues.
To see where you stand, see the spread sheet attachment.
Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life
