Death by Bowls, Episode 6.

 CFP Games.

All tomorrow, January 1.

Texas Longhorns v Arizona State, Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl

Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, Georgia. 1 PM, ESPN.

Ohio State v Oregon, The Rose Bowl

Pasadena, California. 5 PM, ESPN

                   

Notre Dame v Georgia, AllState Sugar Bowl

Caesars Superdome, New Orleans, Louisianna, 8:45 PM, ESPN

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

                 

Death by Bowls, Episode 5

 Episode 5.

All games 12/31.

Louisville Cardinals vs. the U of Washington Huskies.

Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl

El Paso, TX, 2 PM, CBS

U of South Carolina vs. U of Illinois

Cheez-It Citrus Bow

Camping World Stadium, Orlando, FL, 3 PM, ABC

Penn State U vs. Boise State U

CFP Quarter Final Game

Vrbo Fiesta Bowl, State Farm Stadium, Glendale, AZ, 7:30 PM, ESPN

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life. 

GG Death by Bowls, Episode 4

Episode 4.

All Saturday, 12/28, games.

Down and dirty, dog eat dog. Fuck off, it's Christmas Eve.

Iowa State Cyclones vs. Miami Hurricanes. 3:30 PM. Pop Tarts Bowl, Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Fla. ABC.

Miami of Ohio vs. Colorado State Rams. 4:30 PM. Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl, Tucson, AZ. The CW Network. Nobody knows what 'The CW Network' is. 

Colorado Buffaloes vs. BYU Cougars. 7:30 PM. Valero Alamo Bowl, the Alamodome, San Antonio, TX. ABC.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Death by Bowls, Episode 3

 Episode 3.

Southern Methodist U Mustangs @ Penn State. Beaver Stadium. Noon. TNT/Max (whatever the hell that is). CFP playoff game #2.

Clemson Tigers @ Texas Longhorns. Austin, TX. 4:05 PM. Again with the 'TNT/Max' thing. CFP game 3.

Tennessee Volunteers @ Ohio State, Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH, 8 PM. ESPN. CFP 4.

cjk4h.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life.

GG Death by Bowls, Episode 2

 Episode 2.

Thursday, December 19:

Georgia Southern vs Sam Houson Bearkats. R+L Carrier New Orleans Bowl, Caesar's Superdome, New Orleans. 7 PM on ESPN2.

Friday, December 20:

Ohio Bobcats vs Jacksonville State. Staff DNA Cure Bowl. Camping World Stadium. Orlando, Florida. Noon on ESPN.

Tulane vs Florida Gators. Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl. Raymond James Stadium. Tampa, Florida. 3:30 PM, ESPN2.

Roll the bones,

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 15 Results

 Week 15.

KBron. Memphis. Did not play (DNP). The AP bumps you up one. Bitch. +23.

Big Dom. SMU goes down to Dumbo, 31 - 34 on a walk off 56 yard FG. The pain is real. So real. The 'L' is compounded by the AP docking you minus 4. +42 is where you live, BD.

BreauxFreaux. Once again, Ashton Jeanty is THE MAN. Nothing less than The Heisman, as far as I'm concerned. Boise State Broncos 21, UNLV 7. 3 for the Conference Championship win (see the Living Document), +1 on the no-drop, +2 move-up from the Almighty AP, huge +6 weekend. +52 total heading into your BYE week in the playoffs. Only the Ponies can cock-block you from taking The Cheese. 

DPo. The God Squad DNP. +15.

Ronde'. VTech DNP. Unranked, it's all about zero. +13.

$$uke. Louisville DNP. So close, yet so very far. +19 on the season.

DTBH. Kansas DNP. Your brief run at relevance comes to an end. 0 on the season.

Lola O. LSU DNP. So nowhere. Minus 1 on the year.

Psycho. Tennessee doesn't play for the SEC championship. Yet the playoffs beckon. Just to be an asshole, the AP drops you 1. + 28 on the year. 

SockPuppet. Miami DNP. From contender to Mr. Nobody in just 15 weeks. AP rubs salt in your wounds. Minus 1 in The Poll. +25 on the season. 

Chiba. Utes DNP. Just a piss-poor season for you, My Lad. Minus 10. Are you even bowl eligible? Too lazy to look it up.

Q. FSU. 😂😂😂DNP. Minus 21.

Timmy! Penn State 37, Oregon 45. Will James Franklin ever win a meaningful game? The AP takes it easy on you, only minus 2. + 24 on the season and you're playoff bound. The law of averages says that PSU gets a win, at least in the first round. Then again ... James Franklin.

McLovin. Ohio State DNP for the conference championship. Again. Ryan Day coaching for his life in the playoffs. Weirdness: 1 for the no drop. And the AP says "+1" move up on The Poll. +7 on the year. Make a run in the playoffs or die, McLovin. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 15 Results

 GG, Conference Championships Edition

There were no sweeps. 

Arizona State ass-whips Iowa State. Sun Devils 45, 'Clones 19. Most people picked Arizona State but early on it looked like the Cyclones were going to make a game of it. But then ... Cam Skattebo.

Georgia dumps Texas in OT. Dawgs 22, Horns 19. Very few picked this one right. I wasn't one of the very few. This pisses me off. 

Clemson bests SMU. Tigers 34, Ponies 31 on a walk-off 56 yard field goal. SockPuppet is the only one of the fourteen BRFLers who called this one. Hating.

KBron. 1 to make 28.

BigDom. 1 to go to 31.

BreauxFreaux. 1 to reach 37.

DPo. Deuce. 36.

Ronde'. Double up. 21. Still not good.

$$uke. Just one. 51. Dumbass.

Dawg. Gutterball. 0 + 32 = 32.

Lola O. 1 to go to 29.

SockPuppet. 2 to get to 35. Nice.

Psycho. 1. 32. Get it together.

Chiba. 1 to reach 40. Threatening? Fuck you.

Q. 1. 23. Yeah. Twenty three.

Timmy! 1. 33.

McLovin. 1 to make 27. No big deal.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG, Death by Bowls, Part 1.

 Part 1.

Army @ Navy. Landover, MD. 3 PM, Saturday, 12/14, CBS.

Technically this is not a bowl game. So?

Jackson State vs South Carolina State, Cricket Celebration Bowl (??), 12/14, Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA. Noon. ABC.

Memphis vs West Virginia Mountaineers, Scooters Coffee Frisco Bowl (??!), 12/17, Toyota Stadium, Frisco, TX, 9 PM, ESPN.

Be rolling the bones, My People. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissoner for Life

Commissioner Town Hall

A message from Your Commissioner. 

There are only Eight Bowl Games between now and the start of the CFP Playoff. As many a Talking Head much wiser than The Commissioner predicted, the ascent of the expanded 12 team playoff, NIL and the Tranny Portal have relegated Bowl Season to roughly the same heft as learning to write cursive or speak Gaeilge (pronounced 'Gwal-gah' but mispronounced as 'Gay-lick', which is an adjective, not a noun. But I digress).

I humbly submit that we take the best 6 of these games, split them into two sets of three games each. And we just play it straight. Usual GG rules. 

I feel compelled to hear the rest of you turds out on this because I am so mercilessly kicking the living shit out of all of you in GG.

Let me know.

Bleshings.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 14 Results

 Week 14

KBron. Memphis finally comes through for the Bronie. On the road vs ranked Tulane, Memphis 34 - Tulane 24. 1 for the win and then, DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE!,  +5 more. +6 on the week. +22 on the season. Salvation for Special K. 

BigDom. SMU disembowels lowly Cal 38 - 6. Dave Kent shit-fit. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +1 from the AP. +3 on the week and Dominic clings to a share of the lead with +46.

BreauxFreaux. Boise State ass-hammers the Beavers. Broncos 38, Oregon State 14. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +1 from the AP. Total on the season is +46. 

Both of these little bitches, Breaux and BigDom, are playoff bound. We'll see who does the cryin'. 

DPo. The God Squad loses another one. This time they take the 'L' from powerhouse Sam Houston State, 20 - 18. Hey, it was a road game. Stay at +15.

Ronde'. Virginia Tech beats up on Virginia 37 - 17 at home. Too little too late. +1 to go to +13. I always have to remind myself that you're not in last place. Weird. 

$$uke. Louisville destroys Kentucky U 41 - 14 on the road. The AP gives not one shit about this impressive win. +1 on the week. +19 on the season and fuck you all. 

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas goes on the road and gets blown out by Baylor, 45 - 17. Who the hell is the Kansas coach? I don't know. But Dave Aranda is still an asshole and I think he should be fired and then murdered. 0 week. 0 season. Extremely pathetic. 

Lola O. Schizophrenic team much? In Death Valley, LSU schools Oklahoma 37 - 17. 1 for the win. Minus 1 on the season. What's the deal here?

Psycho. UT finds somebody they can beat. Tennessee Vols 36, Vanderbilt Commodores 23, at Vanderbilt. Is this, like, a rivalry game? Dunno! Comically, 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and +1 from the AP. +3 weekend puts Psycho at +29. 

SockPuppet. You're fucking kidding me. In God-forsaken Syracuse, NY, The Orange 42 - Miami Hurricanes 38. Kyle McCord throws for something like 380 yards. That is just so wrong. The AP drops you minus 6. At +26, you suck hind-tit to Psycho. Own it. 

ChibaChews. Utah @ UCF and it's Utes 28 and the UCF guys 14. +1 for the win. You're at minus 10, Douche. 

Q. Oh, for God's sake. Florida rips Florida State to the tune of 31 - 11. This was a home game for FSU but, really, does it matter? Stay at minus 21. 

Timmy! Penn State mauls Maryland 44 - 7 in Happy Valley. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +1 from the AP. +3 adds up to +26 on the season. PSU is headed to the Conference Championship. 

McLovin. Ohio State spontaneously combusts at home vs hated Michigan, 10 - 13. Many would like to lay this disaster at the feet of the Ohio State coaching staff which, it must be said, is not very good. But all year, all anyone heard was how talented the Ohio State roster was. What an incredible bunch of athletes had assembled in Columbus. 

Strange. 

If they were so wonderful, why couldn't they block a Michigan defense with a depleted secondary playing Cover 2 or Quarters, and barely blitzing at all, for the entire game? Why couldn't they stop a Michigan running game that everybody and their grandmother knew was coming? 

Dunno!

The AP is kind and only drops Ohio State 5. McLovin is dead in the water at +5 on the season. 

Fuck you, Ryan Day. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 15 Games

 Week 15.

Conference Championships.

Big 12 Championship. Iowa State Cyclones vs Arizona State Sun Devils. AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX. Noon. ABC.

SEC Championship. Georgia Bulldogs vs Texas Longhorns. Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA. 4 PM. ABC.

ACC Championship. Clemson Tigers vs SMU Mustangs. Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, NC, 8 PM.

Roll the bones. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 14 Results

Week 14

South Carolina visits Memorial Stadium in Clemson, SC and hands the Tigers the L. Lanorris Sellers goes full Freak Mode  Click and enjoy. https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/42700754 The Fighting Dabos are 9 - 4 and, Brothers and Sisters, that ain't good enough. Too bad, so sad. 

SowCow 17 - Clemson 14.

Missouri outlasts Arkansas in snowy Columbia, MO, 28 - 21. Brady Cook covers himself in glory https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/42704732

The Texas Lonhorns struggle a bit with Texas A&M but come out on top, 17 - 7 in College Station. https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/42708200  This game could have been a SWEEP wrecker of Biblical proportions. Alas, no.

KBron. Add 2 to reach 27. Meh.

BigDom. SWEEP! 5 to get to 30. Stepping up your GG game.

Breaux. 2 to make 36. Went with Dabo.

DPo. 2 to total 34. Dabo makes you his bitch. 

Ronde'. Another Dabophile. 2 to reach 19. Just mentioning that everyone else has 20+.

$$uke. SWEEP! 5 to make it 50.

Dawg. 2 and you have 32.

Lola O. 2 and it's 28 for you.

SockPuppet. SWEEP! Redemption for the PuppetMaster. 5 to go to 33.

Psycho. Arkansas? 2 to reach 31.

Chiba. SWEEP! 5 to make 39 and you're starting to worry me. 

Q. SWEEP! 5 to reach 22. SWEEPin' two weeks in a row. What's your deal?

Timmy! 2 to go to 32, Dabo-love.

McLovin. Woo Pig Sooee not so much. 2 to go to 26.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 13 Results

 Week 13.

KBron. Memphis with the BYE week. Stay at +16, BronieBoy.

BigDom. SMU blows out Virginia. Ponies 33, Cavs 7. Huge win for Big D. 1 for the W, 1 for the no drop, +4 on the move up from the AP. Dom locks up a share of the lead with +43. There's no quit in this motherfucker.

BreauxFreaux. Boise State sneaks past Wyoming 17 -13 in Laramie. Don't kid yourself, Laramie is a tough place to play against a bunch of love-starved Cowboys in late November. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, 1 for the move up. +3 weekend. +43 for the Bro. 

DPo. God Posse performs another ritual sacrifice by bitch-slapping the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky U to the tune of 38 - 21. Is this a big deal? No. +15 the total. 

Ronde'. VTech loses to Duke on the road, Hokies 28, Duke Guys 31. It's been a long year for Ronde'. Probably because VTech sucks ass. +12. 

$$uke. Isaac Brown is back for the Cardinals. Pitt QB1 gets carted off. Louisville 37 - Pittsburgh 9 in ol' Kentucky. 1 for the win. +18 on the season. Oh, what could have been. Sigh. 

DawgTheBountyHunter. Colorado comes to Lawrence, Kansas and gets pushed around by the Jayhawks 37 - 21. Is Deion Sanders full of shit? Well, yeah. 1 for the win. Dawg at Zero. Again I ask, where is the DIDDLE?

Lola O. LSU bests Vandy at home, 24 - 17. Not exactly stellar, but a win is a win. +1. LSU at -2. This is the kind of shit game that your season has come down to, Lola.

Psycho. Tennesee absolutely crucifies the University of Texas El Paso, 56 - 0. Well, truck-dragging UTEP is something, I guess. Here's the weird thing; One for the win. One for the no-drop. And +3 for the move up? You beat UTEP and get +3 from the AP? Okay. Sure. +5 weekend. +26 total.

SockPuppet. Miami humiliates Wake Forest 42 - 14. Again, what the fuck?! 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop and +3 from the AP. Okay, are you shitting me? Wake Forest? You beat them AT HOME. The shame. +5 weekend. +32 on the season. Christ. 

Oh. Iowa State tops Utah by a score of 31 - 28. That's another L for Chiba. Why include this gif of David Bowie and the great Mick Ronson during the Ziggy Stardust tour? Because both Bowie and Ronson were great once but they're dead now. And Utah was pretty good too, once upon a time. Minus 11 on the season. 

Q. Florida State autopsies Charleston Southern, 41 - 7 for a rare W, and Q moves up to -21. Congratulations. 

Timmy!. Penn State holds on to beat the Golden Gophers 26 - 25 in Minneapolis. 1 for the win, 1 for the move up. I smell playoffs. +23 on the year.

McLovin. Ohio State shatters Indiana 38 - 15 in Columbus. Indianapolis is a fraud. Now everyone knows this. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +10 for McLovin heading into The Game. 

Lance Herbstrong,

Commissioner for Life 

GG Week 13 Results

 Week 13

Ohio State fucks up Indiana's program 38 - 15 in The Shoe. Coach Cig is an asshole and the Buckeyes let him know it.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Coach Prime is also an asshole. Kansas dumps the Buffs  37 - 21. Kansas just running around playing spoiler. I ask, why no DIDDLE? 

Notre Dame carpet bombs Army 49 - 14. Why did I include this turkey of a game? I'm a little disappointed in myself. 

KBron. 1 to go to 25. Mailing it in much?

BigDom. Deuce. 25. Mediocrity should be your goal. 

BroFro. 2. 34.

DPo. 2 to make 32.

Ronde'. 1 to reach 17. Really, Ronde'?

$$uke. Take two to make 45.

DogTheBountyHunter. Faith in the Jayhawks pays off. SWEEP! 5 to reach 30.

Lola O. 2 to go to 26. Like, so laughable.

SockPuppet. 2 to equal 28. Wondering if you're getting your money's worth from the PuppetMaster. 

Psycho. 2 adds up to 29. Lame. Ass. 

ChibaChews. 2 makes it 34.

Q. Another of the Jayhawk faithful. SWEEP! 5 to reach 17. Approaching relevance. Not quite there yet.

Timmy!. SWEEP! What the FUCK?! 5 to reach 30. Suspect you cheated. 

McLovin. 1 to make it 24. The fuck is wrong with you, Boy?

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 12 Results

 BRFL Week 12

KBron. Memphis takes UAB out behind the woodshed. 53 - 18, a good old fashioned ass-beat. 1 for the win. +16 season total.

BigDom. The Ponies drop Boston College in Dallas. SMU 38 - BC 28. 1 for the win, 1 for the move up and +1 AP Love, +3 weekend and, at +37, BigDom has a little somethin' goin' on.

BreauxFreaux. Boise State pummels San Jose State on the road. Broncos 42 - Whatevers 21. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 1 for the move up. +3 weekend and the Bro has the lead with +40. Forty!?

DPo. Liberty Flames pull one out on the road against power house UMass, 35 - 34 in OT. +1 for the win. +14 on the season. Jesus Freaks acting like they don't give a shit.

Ronde'. Virginia Tech with the BYE week. +12 on the forgettable season for Ronde'.

$$uke. Louisville loses on the road at Stanford, 38 - 35, the Cardinal over the Cardinals. You know what? Fuck Louisville. The stadium in Palo Alto was maybe 1/8th full of what-the-fuck-do-I-care fans and L'ville had the (not very good) Cardinal on the ropes. Time running out and Stanford has a kicker with a tiny leg so, just to be an asshole, a Louisville DB commits a blatant personal foul out of bounds on a short completion, spots Stanford 15 yards. Stanford lines up to kick what should have been a moon shot FG but is now almost makeable for their dwarf kicker but, whoops, Louisville is off-sides trying to block the kick and, sure, let's move it up 5 more yards. Right through the uprights she goes. 

Am I pissed? Well, yeah. Minus 3 on the screaming power-dive out of the Poll and then the dreaded REAM, minus 5 more and $$uke has +17 all of a sudden. 

God damn BRFL.

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas snuffs BYU and ends their undefeated season. On the road no less. Kansas 17, BYU 13. 1 for the win. Dog has minus 1 on the season.

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK.

Lola. LSU goes to the Swamp and gets dumped by the Gators. Florida 27, LSU 16. Something is terribly wrong with the Bayou Bengals. His name is Brian Kelly. Oh, God. The pain is real. Minus 4 on the free fall out of the Poll and then, oh yes, the REAM for minus 5 more. Minus 9 weekend. Lola enters negative territory at minus 3.

Psycho. Georgia seal-clubs Tennessee between the hedges in Athens, Dawgs 31, Vols 17. Not sure what the fukcing deal is with Tennessee. Minus 4 from the AP. Psycho at +21. 

SockPuppet. BYE week. 1 for the no drop and you're gifted +1 from the AP. Move up to +27 on the season. 

ChibaChews. Colorado blasts The Utes in Boulder, 49 - 24. The Utes are basically, like, terrible. Again, not sure what the hell's going on with them. They suck. Let's just leave it at that. Minus 11 for Cheebs.

Q with the FSU BYE week which has to be a relief. Minus 22.

Timmy! Penn State guts Purdue in West Lafayette. Purdue is bad. Nittanys 49, Boilers 10. Tough day for Purdue Pete. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. Is Penn State good? Dunno! 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and Timmy! has +21.

McLovin. Ohio State plays with its food in a weird stadium in Evanston. They finally get around to knocking off Northwestern, again, 31 - 7, Buckeyes over Wildcats. Next up the Hosers.  1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and McLovin notches +8 on the season. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 14 Games. Rivalry Week.

 Week 14

U of South Carolina Gamecocks @ Clemson Tigers. Noon. ESPN. Memorial Stadium.

Arkansas Razorbacks @ Missouri Tigers. 3:30. SEC Network. Columbia, MO.

Texas Longhorns @ Texas A&M Aggies. 7:30. abc/ESPN+. Kyle Field. 

Roll the bones, Friends.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 13 Games

 Week 13.

Undefeated Indiana @ Ohio State. Noon. FOX.

Colorado Buffaloes @ Kansas Jayhawks. 3:30. FOX.

Army @ Notre Dame. 7 PM. The Cock. (NBC Peacock)

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life