BRFL Week 14 Results:
The fucking AP can name Jim Suckbaughlls coach of the year if they want to. Go ahead. Fuck you. But Luke Fickell is the Home Depot Coach of the Year so go pound that up your ass with a muddy spoon, AP MotherFUCKERS.
Iowa.
An epic week, with two BRFLers Betting the Ranch and getting skonked.
Oregon 10, Utah 38. SockPuppet gets beetled again by the boys from Provo. He Bet the Ranch so this one stings. AP smells blood in the water. Minus 5 on the cliff-dive. Minus 5 on the GREAM. The bill for betting the ranch comes due. Minus 10 on the weekend.
You're nobody now, SockPuppet. +10, your total and you are OWNED by Snottie. You have +10.
Iowa State. Did Not Play (DNP). Lola treads water at minus 19. Are you even going to a bowl game?
Utah downs the Ducks, 38 - 10. We talked about this. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP showers love all around, +4 on the move up. +6 on the weekend. Snottie is all gas and no brakes as he body-slams Kitten into the ditch and claims BRFL second place with +28.
Rose Bowl berth v. TOSU. Upset win and an untimely queef by Ole Miss and Snottie could. Just. Take. The. CHEESE.
For now at least, it's Liberace Time.
USC. DNP. Get the fuck out of here, DPo. Stay at minus 10.
CoastalCarolina. Who? DNP. Stay at +9, BroHose.
Cincinnati Bearcats 35, Houston 20.
5 for the win (why? because it was a conference championship game win. This is in the Living Document and has been for 2 years). Minus 1 from the constipated AP. 4 on the weekend but guess who's in the playoffs? 'Cats.
+30 the total for Kitten.
Ole Miss. DNP, Bitch. AP shows misguided love with a no drop point. +43 the total. I'm not crowning any dog's ass this weekend, Ronde'.
U Wash. DNP. Who's that knocking at the door? It's the Bank of the BRFL, foreclosing on your ranch, Dances With Tools! Minus 5 on the GREAM and it's minus 11 total. CCS digs deeper into the pit of despair.
U Wash. DNP. Who's that knocking at the door? It's the Bank of the BRFL, foreclosing on your ranch, Dances With Tools! Minus 5 on the GREAM and it's minus 11 total. CCS digs deeper into the pit of despair.
Let's go inside the numbers on this one, for the Commissioner's Box Score of the Week.
Michigan demolishes B1G 'Rival' Iowa, 42 - 3. (Yes, this was a conference championship game).
Meechy shares 34 totes between 8 different people for 211 yds and 4 TDs. Just to be a Bitch about it, scUM adds 250 more and 2 TDs through the air.
Iowa? Some DBag named Spencer Petras completes 9 out of 22 for 137 and a QBR of 56.2.
Thanks, Spencer.
How about running it? Not so much. 104 on 33 carries for a 3.2 yd average and a 'long' of 11 yards.
AP says, "Fuck you, Dog" and assigns minus 2. + 21 the total for DTBH.
TOSU. DNP. Miraculously, the Bucks log a no drop point. Minus 1 the total for Jimbo$uke.
Wisconsin. DNP. Earth to Teebs. Naught on the weekend, Teebs. Stay at Minus 6.
UNorthCarolina. DNP. What the fuck were you thinking? Bronie stays at minus 13 for, like, ever.
Georgia gets the shit kicked out of themselves by Alabama 41 -24. It all comes crashing down for McLovin. In a total pussy move, the AP only drops the Bulldogs 2 (?!), using some bizzaro SEC math, so the Lovin sits at +21 after a minus 2 weekend and could still do some damage.
Liberty. DNP. God abandons His People. Plus 7. Somehow I feel like your score should be much lower.
Jimbo$uke,
Commissioner for Life
Coach gone by week 3
ReplyDeleteStocking shelves at Price Chopper
Night shift covers debt
Worst case scenario. It happens.
DeleteI renounce all things WI despite fond memories (though foggy) of my so called collegiate eduction in the Land O' Cheese.
ReplyDeleteGod has punished me for abandoning my savior Sir Jim Harbaugh. I'm duly chastened and will now go clear two and half feet of snow from the driveway and reflect on my weakness.
Go forth and sin no more.
Delete