GG Round 5, Twilight of the Bowls

 

Twilight of the Bowls:

Oklahoma State vs Notre Dame

PlayStation Fiesta Bowl

1 PM   1/1/22   ESPN

Glendale, AZ

Utah vs Ohio State

Rose Bowl

5 PM   1/1/22   ESPN

Pasadena, CA

Ole Miss vs Baylor

AllState Sugar Bowl

8:45 PM   1/1/22   ESPN

New Orleans, LA

Last set of three, Bitches.

Roll the bones like you mean it.

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Round 4; CFP Semis

 GG Round 4; CFP Semis.

Pittsburgh vs Michigan State.

Chik-Fil-A Peach Bowl

12/30   7PM   ESPN

Atlanta, GA

Cincinnati vs Alabama.

Cotton Bowl - CFP Semi

12/31   3:30 PM   ESPN

Arlington, TX

Georgia vs University of Michigan.

Orange Bowl - CFP Semi

12/31   7:30 PM   ESPN

Miami Gardens, FL

Now the shit be getting serious. 

Dog eat dog.

Roll the bones.

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Dawn of the Bowls Results

 

GG Dawn of the Bowls Results:

Here at BRFL HQ, things are totally out of control. 

Mrs. Jimbo$$$uke broke her toe.

Geneva, official dog of the BRFL, got some sort of tremendous shitting dog-flu.

But, still. Here we are.

Louisiana 36, Marshall 21. Rajin' Cajuns Rage.

Missouri 22, Army 24. Why does Mizzu suck so?

Georgia State 51, Ball State 20. Two people actually picked Ball State. For real.

BroFro. SWEEP! 5 to go to 33. Not bad.

McLovin. SWEEP! 5 to vault to 26. Meh.

Teeblations. SWEEP! 5 to go to 22. The sun shines on every dog's ass once in awhile.

DogTheBountyHunter. 1. You have 18. Why do you bother? Sad. 

Snottie. 2 to go to 34. Strong pull.

DPo. SWEEP! 5 to roll to 32.

SockPuppet. SWEEP! 5 a big boost up to 15.

'Bo$$$uke. 2 to limp to 15. No future.

Ronde'. SWEEP! Still, only tallies to 28. Not exactly dominant, Skidmark.

CCS. SWEEP! 5 to go to 17. Clawing back points after losing the ranch.

Bronita. SWEEP!. 5 to go to 43. Ouch. Gonna' be a bitch bringin' the Bronie down.

QXXX. 1. You, too, have 18. As a couple, you and DTBH have fewer points than BronieBoy.

Lola. SWEEP! Cruise up to 36. You have a shot at the crown. Show no mercy.

Kitten. SWEEP! 5 to go to 31. Fuck you anyway.

This whole circle-jerk hinged on a last second field goal by Army which, had they missed it, would have made Snottie and me True American Heros and the rest of you fuckers just a bunch of turds. 

Hate is what I feel. 

'Bo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Round 3, 12/29 & 30

 GG Bowls, Round 3

Clemson vs. Iowa State

Cheez-It Bowl

12/29  5:45 PM  ESPN

Orland, FL

Tennessee vs. Purdue

TransPerfect Music City Bowl

Nashville, TN

12/30  3 PM  ESPN

Wisconsin vs. Arizona State

SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl

12/30  10:30 PM  ESPN

Las Vegas, NV

This is the most fucked-up bowl season in BRFL history.

Roll the bones.

Jimbo$$$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowl-a-rama, Round 2

 GG Round 2;

Boston College vs East Carolina 

Military Bowl presented by Pareton

2:30, 12/27, ESPN

(Cancelled)

Auburn vs Houston

TicketSmarter Birmingham Bowl

Noon, 12/28, ESPN

Air Force vs Louisville

SERVPRO First Responder Bowl

3: 15 ESPN, Dallas, TX

UCLA vs NCState

San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl

8 PM, 12/28, FOX

(Cancelled)

Maryland U vs Virginia Tech

New Era Pinstripe Bowl

2:15 PM, 12/29, ESPN

Games are all over the fucking place.

Roll the bones.

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

Utah..............

For your trip to a vacant lot, Snottie.

GG Week 15: Dawn of the Bowls.

 

GG Week 15. 

Dawn of the Bowls.

There will be six Bowl groups, three games each.

The National Championship Game stands alone. 

If you cruise into that game having swept the three games that include the playoffs ( Wake Forest v TAMU, Cincinnati v Alabama, Georgia v Meechy) you have an extra, bonus three points tacked on. You keep those, win or lose your bet on the Natty. Picking the Natty game pays three points, no matter what. Get it wrong and you get zero. Get it right and you get three.)

Simply put, if you  get the playoff week right, that's a sweep (five) plus three bonus (total eight). And then you nail the Natty, that's three more. 11 points total to close out the GG season. That's the max. 

Here's the first group, My Bitches:

Louisiana State Rajin' Cajuns v Marshall Thundering Herd. 

R & L Carrier Bowl or some shit. New Orleans, La.

9:15 PM 12/18, ESPN.

Missouri Tigers v Army Black Knights.

Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl. Fort Worth, TX.

8 PM, 12/22, ESPN.

Georgia State Panthers v Ball State Cardinals.

Tax Act Camellia Bowl. Montgomery, Alabama. 

2:30, 12/25, ESPN. 

Same rules as the regular season.

Those Bitches who haven't bet the ranch yet can do so anytime during Bowl season.

One CANNOT bet the ranch on the National Championship Game. 
I mean, come on. Don't be an asshole.

 

Time to step up and roll the bones.

You're welcome on the Christmas Day game. Now you have a reason to get up on 12/25.

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 14 Results, Conference Championships

 

BRFL Week 14 Results:

An epic week, with two BRFLers Betting the Ranch and getting skonked.

Oregon 10, Utah 38. SockPuppet gets beetled again by the boys from Provo. He Bet the Ranch so this one stings. AP smells blood in the water. Minus 5 on the cliff-dive. Minus 5 on the GREAM. The bill for betting the ranch comes due. Minus 10 on the weekend. 

You're nobody now, SockPuppet. +10, your total and you are OWNED by Snottie. You have +10.

Iowa State. Did Not Play (DNP). Lola treads water at minus 19. Are you even going to a bowl game?

 

Utah downs the Ducks, 38 - 10. We talked about this. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP showers love all around, +4 on the move up. +6 on the weekend. Snottie is all gas and no brakes as he body-slams Kitten into the ditch and claims BRFL second place with +28. 

Rose Bowl berth v. TOSU. Upset win and an untimely queef by Ole Miss and Snottie could. Just. Take. The. CHEESE.

For now at least, it's Liberace Time.

USC. DNP. Get the fuck out of here, DPo. Stay at minus 10. 

CoastalCarolina. Who? DNP. Stay at +9, BroHose.

Cincinnati Bearcats 35, Houston 20. 

The fucking AP can name Jim Suckbaughlls coach of the year if they want to. Go ahead. Fuck you. But Luke Fickell is the Home Depot Coach of the Year so go pound that up your ass with a muddy spoon, AP MotherFUCKERS. 

5 for the win (why? because it was a conference championship game win. This is in the Living Document and has been for 2 years). Minus 1 from the constipated AP. 4 on the weekend but guess who's in the playoffs? 'Cats.

+30 the total for Kitten. 

Ole Miss. DNP, Bitch. AP shows misguided love with a no drop point. +43 the total. I'm not crowning any dog's ass this weekend, Ronde'.

U Wash. DNP. Who's that knocking at the door? It's the Bank of the BRFL, foreclosing on your ranch, Dances With Tools! Minus 5 on the GREAM and it's minus 11 total. CCS digs deeper into the pit of despair.

Iowa. 

Let's go inside the numbers on this one, for the Commissioner's Box Score of the Week.

Michigan demolishes B1G 'Rival' Iowa, 42 - 3. (Yes, this was a conference championship game).

Meechy shares 34 totes between 8 different people for 211 yds and 4 TDs. Just to be a Bitch about it, scUM adds 250 more and 2 TDs through the air. 

Iowa? Some DBag named Spencer Petras completes 9 out of 22 for 137 and a QBR of 56.2. 

Thanks, Spencer. 

How about running it? Not so much. 104 on 33 carries for a 3.2 yd average and a 'long' of 11 yards. 

AP says, "Fuck you, Dog" and assigns minus 2. + 21 the total for DTBH.

TOSU. DNP. Miraculously, the Bucks log a no drop point. Minus 1 the total for Jimbo$uke.

Wisconsin. DNP. Earth to Teebs. Naught on the weekend, Teebs. Stay at Minus 6.

UNorthCarolina. DNP. What the fuck were you thinking? Bronie stays at minus 13 for, like, ever.

Georgia gets the shit kicked out of themselves by Alabama 41 -24. It all comes crashing down for McLovin. In a total pussy move, the AP only drops the Bulldogs 2 (?!), using some bizzaro SEC math, so the Lovin sits at +21 after a minus 2 weekend and could still do some damage. 

Liberty. DNP. God abandons His People. Plus 7. Somehow I feel like your score should be much lower. 

 

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 13 Results

 GG Week 14 Results.

Conference Championships.

What a pile of undiluted horse shit. 

I could puke.

Baylor bests Oklahoma State in JerryWorld, 21 -16. Fucking Mullet-heads, backwards Okies fuck, fuck, FUCK. This game sucked. Almost everyone got screwed by this shit-show.

Georgia gets smoked by Alabama 41 - 24. So much for the Amazing Georgia Defense. Clean up, aisle 6, McTard. 

Evil Wolverine Conspiracy 42, Iowa 3. You were lucky to get 3, Dog. scUM is the real deal.

BroFro. 1 to go to 28. You are so yesterday.

McLovin. 2 to go to 19. This was the 'good' part of your weekend, Bitch.

Teebs. 1 to go to 17. I don't know why I bother with your punk-ass.

DTBH. 1 to go to 17. In your case, I have come to expect failure. Thanks for not disappointing. 

Snottie. SWEEP! And you're the only one. 5 to go to 32. So like a God.

DPo. 1 to go to 27. Mediocre much?

SockPuppet. Bet the Ranch weekend comes undone. You deserve a bung-feathering just for trying. I salute you. You bet 10 and lost. Your GG total is 10.

Bo$uke. Naught. 0 for 3. I don't belong in this life full of pain. Help me. 13 is my shitty sum.

Ronde'. 2 to go to 23. Fuck you.

CCS. Also bet the ranch. Pure, unadulterated BALLS. Denied though. You bet 12 (!?) and got skonked. 12 is your miserable, unredeemable total of miserable shit, you poor fucker.

BroniePonyBoy. 1 to go to 38. Really? I kind of hate you.

QXXX. No entry. Total 17. When I see you, don't look me in my eyes. Don't. I'm serious.

Lola. 1 to go to 31. "Disappointed' is how I feel about you.

Kitten. 1 to go to 26. In GG you are a complete nobody. I will treat you like that. 

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 13 Results

 BRFL Week 13 Results.

Oregon pounds the Beavers in Corvallis. Ducks shoot Beavers, 38 - 29. Yes, SockPuppet gets a lot of Beaver this weekend. Grabs 1 for the win, laps up one for the no drop, and snatches one for the move up. 3 point weekend. Reaches +20 after last week's embarrassment. 

Iowa State hosts TCU and skonks the Toads 48 - 14. Lola pulls one down to "improve" to minus 19 on the season.

Utah bum-jigs the Buffalos 28 - 13 and Snottie continues his late season push for glory. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. AP shows love, +2 more and Snottie has come back from the abyss to occupy 4th place with +22. An epic resurrection. 

USC loses a close one to BYU in Provo, 35 - 31. Still, the rudderless Trojans mostly just got killed this season. Help is on the way though! Fat lot of good that will do you, DPo. Stay at minus 10.

Coastal Carolina 27 over Southern Alabama 21 in overtime. BroFro snags 1 to go to +9.

Bearcats 35, Eastern Carolina U 13 in a road-game ass-beat to close out the regular season. On to the conference championship and possibly the CFP. Kitten with the sleeper pick of the season. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 1 for the move up. +3 brings Kitty's total to +26. He's the #2 man in the BRFL right now.

Ole Miss on the road in Starkville vs Mississippi State. Rebs 31, Bulldogs 21. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. No love from the AP. Ronde' rules this year's contest right now with a total of +42.

Wash U 13, Washington State 40 as evil Mike Leach closes the book on CCS's season from hell by stealing the Apple Bowl or whatever the fuck it's called. Naught on the weekend. Minus 6 is still your address. Betting the ranch this weekend in GG could change all that.

Or not.

Iowa @ Nebraska. Hawkeyes sneak by the Cornhuskers 28 - 21 in Lincoln. Why beating woeful Nebraska squad merits +2 worth of love from the AP is beyond me. But that's what DTBH gets, along with 1 for the win and 1 for the no drop. +4 brings the total to +23. Tied for the Fancy Ivory Tickler prize. 

Georgia violates Georgia Tech on the road, 45 - 0 the final. McLovin is now tied for the Twinkle Toes award with +23. This can't be happening. 

Ohio State gets victimized by scUM in the Big House, 42 -27. AP takes note and chucks the Bucks down the stairs. Minus 5, the sickening plunge, and 'Bo$uke is pushin' up daisies on the season with minus 2. Misery and woe are the Commissioner's lot. 

Jimbo$uke doesn't shrink from going inside the numbers on this one to show why this ritual sacrifice in Ann Arbor earned Box Score of the Week honors; Meechy rushed for 297 on 41 totes with Hassan Haskins accounting for 169 of that on his own (seemed like more) and, oh yeah, Haskins scored 5 (?!) times. 

TOSU? 64 yds on 30 attempts. Treveyon Henderson ran for 74 yds. What's wrong with this picture? CJ Stroud was sacked 4 times for minus 30, that's what. 

But wait, there's more. 

Not only did scUM rack up 4 sacks, they had 8 TFLs and 4 QB hurries (again, seemed  like more than that). TOSU had 0 sacks, 0 TFLs and 2 QB hurries that I don't remember seeing. 

Blessedly, I couldn't find the yards penalized stat line.

Still, it could be worse. I guess. 

Wisconsin travelled to Minnesota and got abused by Goldie, 23 -13, knocking themselves out of the B1G championship game. Unconscionable behavior, Bucky Badger. 

The AP didn't miss this colossal meltdown.

Minus 7 on the nose-dive from #18 to out of the poll and then, oh, God, the REAM too, -5. Minus 12 on the weekend to drop Teeblations all the way back to minus 6. And...I shouldn't...oh, what the hell; Graham Mertz: 21 for 38, 171 yds, 4.3 yards avg completion, a QBR of, like, 50, and the obligatory interception deep in Badger territory.

UNC visits NCState and wishes they hadn't. 34 -30 the final and Bronita shuts down his season with the 'L'. Stay at minus 13, GG guy.

The United States Military Academy @ West Point drills the God Squad 31 - 16. Thoughts and prayers, QXXX. Stay at +7.

Jimbo$uke,

Commissioner for Life