BRFL Week 10 Results: Crash and Burn

Then Cain said to the Lord, "This punishment is more than I can stand! Today you have forced me to stop working the ground, and now I must hide from you. I must wander around on the earth, and anyone who meets me can kill me." 
- Genesis 4-13

Henry. You remember him. The Phantom of the BRFL. Stanford hangs 42 on the Buffaloes and cruises to a 4 point weekend. The Cardinal is just fucking with people now. Throwing Heisman candidate half-back passes for touchdowns, just cat-toying-with-mice kind of shit. Here's the alarming thing: Stanford has already won their half of the woeful PAC-12, so they are going to the conference championship. But they also are ranked #8 in the College Football Power Rankings. Which means they are within striking distance of the playoffs.
Henry  has 28 points and is still the LEADER.

Snottie. Pick of the year. Clemson rolls FSU 23-13. New #1 in the AP. 4 point weekend. ACC conference championship almost certain. Playoffs ditto. 4 point weekend. 26 points. Did I  mention that Snottie picked dead last in this year's BRFL draft? Envy and hate in equal measure, Bitch.

Teebag. Notre Dame. 42-30 over Mark May shit-face alumnus Pitt. That almost makes me like you. Plus 4 weekend, you have 18. You play Stanford November 28th.

Sock Pocket Pool. TOSU looks spastic in a corn-holing of the Gophers at home, 28-14. Illinois next week. They suck. JT Barrett like the second coming of Christ. You have 13.

Cut the shit, Q. Last week, the Diddle. This week, the REAM. Taking it in the pooper from War Eagle, 26-10. You have 10.

BroFro. Resurgent. Louisville bitch-slaps the 'Cuse 41-17 and you have accumulated 5 points. Which blows but in this year's league, hell, that's good enough for a four hour erection.

DPo. Virginia Tech. Bye week. Stay at 4. This was a good year for a shitty pick. All I can say.

Seannie Graham. Injuries have made Swiss Cheese out of your secondary. 3 out of 4 starters hobbled and footballs rain down on the survivors all afternoon. Still it took a complete bullshit, 'I'm blind and possibly also drunk' mega-douche call to steal this one from you. Forced out of bounds? Like, maybe on Pluto that was a forced out of bounds. Homer call. Gayness. You drop like a stone, minus 8. You are left with plus 3.

Boise State. Chip n' Muff. Bye week. Good for you. Stay at 2.

Jimbosuke. Ole Miss. Finding new and creative ways to lose. 4th and 25, allow the dipshit lateral/fumble/recovered for first down by fucking asshole Arkansas. World's biggest scumbag Bert Bielema goes for two 'cause he knows his defense can't hang. Shitty blocking, in the grasp, sack and it's over.. NO.. dumb shit face mask, half the distance to the goal, LOSE.
Total destruction. Minus 11 weekend, including the REAM. Sit at plus 1.

What the fuck happened to TCU, McLuvin'? 4 INTs from former Heisman hopeful Trevon Boykin. 49-29 anal dilation by the Cowpokes puts you in Hurtville. Minus 8 weekend. Buck up, Buckaroo. You have  a shot at asswipe Baylor. Dump those Branch Davidian Waco twats and get right back in this thing. You have Minus 2.

Randong. The Pigs get lucky, 53-52 over Ole Miss in OT. Good to see Bert Bielema approaching Charlie Weiss level obesity. So disgusting. Heart attack bait. Enjoy getting clobbered by LSU this weekend. You have an undeserved minus 6, Sinner.

ClemboSlice. USC. Do they suck or not? 38-30 over Arizona. You play the Buffaloes, Oregon and then maybe a ranked UCLA club to close out the season. Win out and get a diddle and you could be alright. Which would surprise the hell out of everybody. You have minus 12.

Killer. Bee. Georgia dumps Kentucky. Who is this Keith Marshall? Your offense has come back to life. Too little too late. You don't play anyone who can help you. You have minus 13. I suggest herbal tea and Scripture, long walks, prescription sedatives.

Jimbosuke