GG Week 13: Results

GG Week 13: 4 sweeps.

Q, at least the Men of the Scarlet and Gray didn't let you down. 1. You go to 25.
DPo, in a bind, goes with Meechy, 3 out of 4. You go to 29.
CCS. Sweep. It's big. 7 to your 32. the LEADER at 39.

SockPuppet, Sweep. Crushes it, add 7, you have 34.
BroFro, Sweep. Slams it home for 38 total. 1 point away from glory.
Killer Bee, Cowboys are your weakness. 3 out of 4, 15 your total

Teebs, Done gone to hell in a hand basket. 11.
SeaScum, Meechy/ND blasphemy blows 7 point bonanaza. 2 for you, Devil. 30.
McLuvin', Ditto, VagiFem. 2 for you. Hang  your head in shame at 24.

RanDingle: Not your best day. Pick up one game go to 25.
Jimbosuke, dumb shit move on Okie State. 3 out of 4. Up to 29.
Snottie, Sweepin'. Kills it with 7 points. Add to his 27, cruising at 34.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.

Michigan Hate Week: Saturday

"The false prophet and the beast were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulfur. And their armies were killed with the sword that came out of the mouth of the rider on the horse, and all the birds ate the bodies until they were full."

Revelation 19, 20-21

Michigan Hate Week: Friday

NOTE: There was a mistake on the original GG listing:

             Notre Dame is AT Stanford. Home game for the Cardinal.

Jimbosuke

Michigan Hate Week: Thursday

Michigan Hate Week: Wednesday

"Now, brothers and sisters, we do not need to write you about times and dates. You know very well that the day the Lord comes again will be a surprise, like a thief that comes in the night. While people are saying, 'We have peace and we are safe,' they will be destroyed quickly. It is like pains that come quickly to a woman having a baby. Those people will not escape. But you, brothers and sisters, are not living in darkness, and so that day will not surprise you like a thief."

 - 1 Thessalonians 5, 1-4.

GG Week 13: Meechy Hate Week

GG Week 13: Rivalry Week

Oklahoma (#5) @ Oklahoma State (#9) Bedlam in Stillwater.

Ohio State (#8) @ Meechy (#12). Death or glory in Ann Arbor, Men of the Scarlet and Gray!

Ole Miss(#19) @ Mississippi State (#23).  Egg Bowl in Starkville.

Notre Dame (#4) @ Stanford (#13). Brian Kelley aneurysm.

1 for the win, 7 for the sweep.

Roll the dice, Brothers and Sisters

Jimbosuke
Commissioner for Life

* Note: Notre Dame is on the road vs. Stanford. I had this wrong. Thanks, BroFro.

BRFL Week 12 Results: This Was Sparta

"Haven't you brought this on yourselves
by turning away from the Lord your God
when he was leading you in the right way?

It did not help to go to Egypt
and drink from the Shihor River,

It did not help to go to Assyria
and drink from the Euphrates River.

Your evil will bring punishment to you,
and the wrong you have done will teach
you a lesson.
Think about it and understand
that it is terrible evil to turn away from
the Lord your God.
it is wrong not to fear me,"
says the Lord God All-Powerful.

Stanford. 35-22 over Cal. White-boy McCaffrey runs rough-shod over Berkeley hippies. 4 point weekend for the Prankster. 24 total. Enough to tie for second place, Mr. Yesterday.

Clemson 37-13 over powerhouse Wake Forest. Even if you weren't #1 you'd get no love for this. Judgement day is coming, King of the ACC. 2 point weekend. 30 and still LEADER, Snotts.

TCU and Fat Gary Patterson drop a close one to Oklahoma. Why go for 2 here, Gary? Or should I say "Mary"? You've come back against mega-choke artist Stoopsie WITHOUT T. Boykin, Kick the point, go to OT, give your guys a chance. But noooooo, you  have to try to throw for 2. 30-29 you go down to the Schooners and McLuvin' Googles "hanging yourself". Minus 4 weekend. You are in negative territory, McOver. You have minus 2.

I am so fucking sick of Notre Dame. All the gayness and the leprechaun shit. Playing a game in Fenway, just to be super douchey. Brian Psychopath Kelly and his Domers "crushing" Boston College (BOSTON COLLEGE?!) 19-16 in, oh my goodness, Fenway Park! Masturbatory apes at AP give you a move up for that shit, Teebs. 3 point weekend. you have 24. Tied with Mr. Yesteryank.

Georgia. 23-17 domination over much ballyhooed Georgia Southern. A win's a win, Bridget. If the season lasted until April you might make it out of negative territory. Minus 11 is your home.

Ole Miss. 38-17 over LSU as the Rebs take advantage of the Les Miles Death March. Ole Miss chugs down an 8 point weekend. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. 6 for the move up. Left by the side of the road dead mere weeks ago, I now have 14. I here, Bitches.

Louisville. 45-34 loss to Pitt. Mark May went to Pitt. Mark May is an asshole. BroFro with 6.

VTech. One last try for ScarFace. 30-27 the Hokies fall just short to North Carolina. North Carolina is an ACC team. This is the kind of bullshit we see every week in the lowly ACC. DPo with 5 and a still puzzling pick.

Boise Fiasco. 37-30 strafing at the hands of Air Force. Mind Freak said it best when he said, "Never bet against a service academy". Should have been a GG game. CCS with tiny 2.

USC. How brief the glory, ClemoSlice. 48-28 pasting by the resurgent Oregon Ducks. Troymen limping toward the finish. Laughable minus 8 weekend, DutchBoy. Minus 3 for the drop, minus 5 for the REAM. You have minus 11 total.

Texas A&M. 25-0 ass pounding of Vandy. 1 for the win, Q. Gives you a respectable 12.

Meechy State. No Konner Kook, or whomever. No problem. O-line: dominant. D-line: dominant. Tried to help the Bucks with two turnovers. Not enough. You win, Seannie Graham. Mark D'Antonio is your God. 5 point weekend. Are you afraid of Iowa? I doubt it. Hello, playoffs. You have 15 and, for now, you're spooning with Liberace.

THE Ohio State University. Here's where it went wrong. Last January Tom Herman, the former TOSU Offensive Coordinator, took the job as head man at Houston. Oddly, Urbs replaced him with the combination of Ed Wariner, the Oline coach, and a guy named Tim Beck. And they suck as OCs. Ed Wariner was a good O-line coach but as an OC? Not so much. Tim Beck is supposed to be an OC that helps coach the QBs. You've seen our QB play this year. Do you think Tim Beck knows what he's doing? Zeke was right. The play calling was bad. Horrible. And so was our O line. I'm only sorry Zeke apologized. He was just saying what everybody knew to be true. It was a pussy-ass, let's-try-not-to-lose game plan and we lost. 17-14. downed by Sparta. It was an apocalyptic fuck-up by a bunch of guys who get paid way more than you ever will to run around in sneakers and relaxed fit pants yelling at 17-21 year olds.

Minus 6. You got off easy, Sock. You have 9.

Arkansas. The Pigs drop a close one to Mississippi State, 51-50. Stout defense is Bert Bielema's calling card. Randy, you will never get your diddle. Stick at minus 5.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life


PS: We now have our own URL. www.blacksroadfootballleague.com
       BRFL uber alles!

Ohio State - Michigan 2015:The Year It All Unravels for Urbs

GG Week 12 Results

GG week 12.

Only 3 did not get sucked in by TOSU on Saturday night: Q, SeaScum and McLovin'.

Nobody swept nor reaped the potential 7 point bonanza. GG remains a tight, tight race.
We had full participation again. Except for Teeba who is, after all, a Notre Dame fan.

Q: Picks up 3. Misses only the Baylor win. 24.
Dpo: 2 added to go to 26. TOSU? Douche.
CCS: 2 to move up to 32. Still our LEADER.

SockPukeIt: Went with USC. Took 'nads. Got him nothing. 2 to go to 27.
Bro: Couple of chip shots. Nothing to get excited about. 2 to go to 31. Carrying Chip's jock.
Killer Bee: Same. 2 to go to 12. You've never experienced Bowlapalooza. You're not out of it in GG.

Teeblations: Why do I bother? What are you, with Four Floors of Whores? No entry. 11.
SeaPussy: If only you had picked Baylor. Like I did. 3 to move to 28. You are pitiful.
McLovin': Your coach is an asshole. Kudos on the Moo U pick. 2 to go to 22.

Randgina: TOSU let you down. So close. Add 3 for a total of 24. Strong pull.
Jimbosuke: Cutting myself is getting boring. Maybe drink Drano? 3 out of 4. Hating. 26 total.
Snotball: Again, buggered by the Bucks. 3 out of 4. You have 27.

So tight. So right.

Jimbosuke.

GG Week 12

Week 12:

Meechy State (#9) @ THE Ohio State University (#3) Depleted Moo U secondary vs shaky TOSU O-line. Stop Zeke and you stop the music for the Bucks. "Kurt" Cousins says the shoulders 'just fine". Well...um...,Kurt, is it really or are you bullshitting us?

Baylor Bears (#10) @ Oklahoma State Cowboys (#6)  Bedlam. Cowpokes are hot.

USC (#24) @ Oregon (#23) A month ago nobody gave a shit.

TCU Horned Frogs (#18) @ Oklahoma (#7) Last chance for the Toads. Showdown in Norman.

1 for the win, 7 for the sweep.

Roll the bones,

Jimbosuke

BRFL Week 11 Results.

Oregon dumps Stanford on the road to put SkHank's playoff dreams to rest. 38-36 the Duck quacks last in Palo Alto. Naught for the win, naught for the no drop, Minus 8 for the sickening plunge. Back to + 20 and it's time to save a dance for Liberace, Henry. A slow dance.

Clemson rolls over an over matched Syracuse squad, 37-27 in the Dome. Less than overwhelming. Enough to stay on top. 28 for Snottie, the LEADER.

TCU struggles with lowly Kansas. Boykin leaves with an ankle injury. A squeaker in wherever the fuck TCU plays, 23-17 over the Jayhawks. Move up 2? Uh...okay. McLuvin busts a move into positive territory. Tiny 2.

Notre Dame. Every douchebag loves Notre Dame. I guess. 28-7 at home over powerhouse Wake Forest and the AP creams over it. 3 point weekend. 21. Second place, TeaBag.

Georgia. 20-13 over Auburn. The Bulldogs have found some answers. It's way too late. Minus 12.

Ole Miss. Bye week. Coming off a loss. DIDDLE! DIDDLE! DIDDLE! Have I mentioned how much I love the AP? Who cares why this happened. We only care that my life got better by my team doing absolutely nothing. God DAMN I love me so much. ME, ME, ME, ME, ME. Hot diggety. I have 6.

Louisville lays some pipe to the Cavs on the road. BroFro wins, 38-31 and he's up to 6 points.

Virginia Tech. Beamerism. How the fuck they beat GT I'll never know. 23-21 the final. DPo with 5.
Crucial tilt vs. North Carolina this weekend. This one has DIDDLE written all over it.

Boise State keeps playing. Boise State keeps losing. This time they go down on New Mexico U 31-24. Disgraceful rubbish and some more salt in the Chipster's gaping wounds.

USC bones the Buffs 27-24 on the road. DIDDLE! DIDDLE! DIDDLE! 1 for the win, 3 for the move up. 5 for the Diddle. Epic 9 point weekend for ClemboSlice. Minus 3 his total. At Oregon this weekend. Are we looking at positive territory for the DutchMan? Naaaah.

Texas A&M shits all over Western Carolina. Like that's something to be proud of . 41-17 when the smoke cleared. Has-been ball club. 11 for Q.

Meechy State survives perennial suck team Maryland 24-7. AP thinks that's a big deal and doles out a 5 point move up. Kind of like tipping the guy at Stewart's a hundred bucks for ringing up your coffee and doughnut. Moo U sits at 10. Seannie Graham's pantaloons are moist and uncomfortable knowing he squares off against the Men of the Scarlet and Gray in Columbus this weekend. Somewhat comforting knowing that the Bucks couldn't block a cell phone call right now.

TOSU. Different week, different QB. Same outcome. 28-3 sleep-walk through Champaign, Illinois. Fighting Illini give the OSU passing game all they can handle. Ezekiel Elliott takes over. Again. 2 point weekend. Sock Puppet with 15 and now it gets rough. Stormy seas ahead as the Buckeyes take on everything the fucking Mitten State has to offer in the next two weeks.
Burn in hell, Meechy.

Arkansas. Bert Bielema: Tool. Jen Bielema: hot, young, bored and married to an unshaven ogre of enormous girth who may not have seen his teeny schween in about a year. Pity Jen. And pity the Razorbacks. What the hell is it going to take for this team to get a diddle? In two consecutive weeks they dump Ole Miss. They down LSU on the road. And from the AP...nuthin'. 1 point weekend. Hard to understand. Have to believe it's because, like everyone else, the AP hates the Legendary Douchebag Bert Bielema. Minus 5 for Randoodle. Mississippi State this week, on the road. Unfortunately Alabama let the gas out of that bag last week so beating them won't help. Fuck it. Just stay home.

Jimbosuke

GG Week 11 results

GG Week 11:

Again, It looked so easy.
But no.

2 sweeps: SeaScum and Jimbosuke.

Q. At least you got the Alabama game right. 1. 21 total.
DPo. Dropped the Baylor game. 2. 24.
CCS. Should have gone with Bob Stoops. 2. You now have 30. Still the LEADER.

Sock Puppet. Memphis? 2. 25 for you.
BroFro. Definitely not the leader. 2 for 29.
Killer Bee. 2. Strong showing. For you, I guess. 10.

Teebs. No entry. Missing in action. 11.
SeaScum. Sweep. 5. 25 total.
McLuvin'. 2. 20. Wallet check.

Randufus. 2. 21. Hard luck, hard times.
Jimbosuke. Sweep. 5. 23. Almost respectable.
Snottie. 2. 24. Glad you're not winning this.

Jimbosuke

GG week 11 Contests

Week 11 and the race is tight:

#25 Memphis @ #16 Houston.

#12 Oklahoma Sooners @ #4 Baylor

#3 Alabama Crimson Tide @ #20 Mississippi State

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep.

Jimbosuke

BRFL Week 10 Results: Crash and Burn

Then Cain said to the Lord, "This punishment is more than I can stand! Today you have forced me to stop working the ground, and now I must hide from you. I must wander around on the earth, and anyone who meets me can kill me." 
- Genesis 4-13

Henry. You remember him. The Phantom of the BRFL. Stanford hangs 42 on the Buffaloes and cruises to a 4 point weekend. The Cardinal is just fucking with people now. Throwing Heisman candidate half-back passes for touchdowns, just cat-toying-with-mice kind of shit. Here's the alarming thing: Stanford has already won their half of the woeful PAC-12, so they are going to the conference championship. But they also are ranked #8 in the College Football Power Rankings. Which means they are within striking distance of the playoffs.
Henry  has 28 points and is still the LEADER.

Snottie. Pick of the year. Clemson rolls FSU 23-13. New #1 in the AP. 4 point weekend. ACC conference championship almost certain. Playoffs ditto. 4 point weekend. 26 points. Did I  mention that Snottie picked dead last in this year's BRFL draft? Envy and hate in equal measure, Bitch.

Teebag. Notre Dame. 42-30 over Mark May shit-face alumnus Pitt. That almost makes me like you. Plus 4 weekend, you have 18. You play Stanford November 28th.

Sock Pocket Pool. TOSU looks spastic in a corn-holing of the Gophers at home, 28-14. Illinois next week. They suck. JT Barrett like the second coming of Christ. You have 13.

Cut the shit, Q. Last week, the Diddle. This week, the REAM. Taking it in the pooper from War Eagle, 26-10. You have 10.

BroFro. Resurgent. Louisville bitch-slaps the 'Cuse 41-17 and you have accumulated 5 points. Which blows but in this year's league, hell, that's good enough for a four hour erection.

DPo. Virginia Tech. Bye week. Stay at 4. This was a good year for a shitty pick. All I can say.

Seannie Graham. Injuries have made Swiss Cheese out of your secondary. 3 out of 4 starters hobbled and footballs rain down on the survivors all afternoon. Still it took a complete bullshit, 'I'm blind and possibly also drunk' mega-douche call to steal this one from you. Forced out of bounds? Like, maybe on Pluto that was a forced out of bounds. Homer call. Gayness. You drop like a stone, minus 8. You are left with plus 3.

Boise State. Chip n' Muff. Bye week. Good for you. Stay at 2.

Jimbosuke. Ole Miss. Finding new and creative ways to lose. 4th and 25, allow the dipshit lateral/fumble/recovered for first down by fucking asshole Arkansas. World's biggest scumbag Bert Bielema goes for two 'cause he knows his defense can't hang. Shitty blocking, in the grasp, sack and it's over.. NO.. dumb shit face mask, half the distance to the goal, LOSE.
Total destruction. Minus 11 weekend, including the REAM. Sit at plus 1.

What the fuck happened to TCU, McLuvin'? 4 INTs from former Heisman hopeful Trevon Boykin. 49-29 anal dilation by the Cowpokes puts you in Hurtville. Minus 8 weekend. Buck up, Buckaroo. You have  a shot at asswipe Baylor. Dump those Branch Davidian Waco twats and get right back in this thing. You have Minus 2.

Randong. The Pigs get lucky, 53-52 over Ole Miss in OT. Good to see Bert Bielema approaching Charlie Weiss level obesity. So disgusting. Heart attack bait. Enjoy getting clobbered by LSU this weekend. You have an undeserved minus 6, Sinner.

ClemboSlice. USC. Do they suck or not? 38-30 over Arizona. You play the Buffaloes, Oregon and then maybe a ranked UCLA club to close out the season. Win out and get a diddle and you could be alright. Which would surprise the hell out of everybody. You have minus 12.

Killer. Bee. Georgia dumps Kentucky. Who is this Keith Marshall? Your offense has come back to life. Too little too late. You don't play anyone who can help you. You have minus 13. I suggest herbal tea and Scripture, long walks, prescription sedatives.

Jimbosuke

GG Week 10 Results

GG week 10. It should have been so easy.

Only one sweeper, the Randub.

Florida State downed by Clemson.
TCU self destructs and gets pounded by Oklahoma State.
Alabama dominates LSU, again.

Q, add 1, 20.
D Po, 2 right, 22.
CCS, 2 go to 28, still THE LEADER.

Sock, 2 you have 23.
BroFro, 2 and you have 27.
Killer Bee picks up 2, has 8.

No entry from Teebs. Binge watching "Rudy" all weekend.
SeaScum add 2, 20.
McLuvin', what a horrible, horrible weekend for you. 1. You have 18.

Randick. Sweeps. The only one with faith in Oklahoma State. 19 total.
Jimbosuke. 2. 18.
Snottie. Clemson Tiger Love. 2. Total 22.

Jimbosuke

Heismaniac 2.0 - Easier Than Shooting Seagulls with a Seal

The Heismaniac Deadline Passeth. If you want in, you have until hands slap butts on Thursday Night tilts (November 5). Participation is voluntary but those who don't participate will be shamed and forced to defecate before their peers. Or on their piers. Not sure. Whatever.

We are currently ready to launch with 7 douches toeing the cooch. Enter in October's posting "Heismaniac 2.0 The Feasting".  Last chance, dildos.

BRFL Week 9 Results

A weird week with a little movement heading into crucial week 10;

Henry. Totally unimpressive as he survives on the road vs Wash U. Punished by the AP. Drops one so the win is a wash and he stays at 24. Still, he's the fucking LEADER so don't get all smug about his bullshit misfortune.

Snottie. Clemson. Beats the ass off somebody. Still undefeated. No move. Net 2. 22 total. Nipping at the Hankster's heels.

And, just like that, she is resurrected. Back from the dead Q the Aggie storms back with a win over SowCow. 1 for the win, DIDDLE, DIDDLE, DIDDLE, 5 more, you land at #25, you have 15.  Roller coaster season for the SheGraham.

Proof that the AP is full of pricks and swishing Domer wannabes: Notre Dame barely survives Temple (Temple!) and they move up. Fuck you, Tim. 3 on the weekend. You have 14, DoucheMaster.

SockieFockie, TOSU pick on the brink of working out for you...don't worry about that JTBarrett suspension. He's only a touchdown machine that makes the offence go. It's King Cardale time for you, My Friend. Never fear. You have TBraxt. Don't you hate bye weeks? 13 is your score, Whore.

Knock, knock, knock. I think you hear me knockin'. Ole Miss downs Auburn on the road. Second straight SEC road win. Does the AP care? Shit no. No love and I stick at #19. At least they didn't drop me, the fuckers. 2 on the weekend. 12 for Ole Miss and the Commish.

Meechy State with the bye. No drop. Seannie with 11.

McLovin'. Still no AP love. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. You have 6. And you ain't be gettin' no votes for the playoff. Season of Despair dawning?

Grim-faced death-match at plus 4. VTech ass whips BC and Louisville lays a whupping on Wake Forest. Scarface hangs it up after this season. No more BeamerBall. Like I give a shit. 1 and 1 for BroFondle and DPo, 4 apiece.

Tiny 2 points for CCS. Boise State beat UNLV. La-dee-dah. Horrible pick. Feel shame, Sinner.

Arkansas. Do they suck? Not as bad as Tennessee-Martin, apparently. Get the win. Randildo gets a point. Blasts into minus 7 territory.

USC, in complete disarray, can still beat Cal. Cal is really, really bad. Fuck 'em, right? ClemboSlice? Hello? Earth to ClemboSlice. Enjoy your -13, Debtor.

And then there's Killer Bee. Bye week. Suspend a couple guys for smoking herb. Smoking a little gange seems the only rational thing to do if you find yourself on the Georgia squad right now. Decimated by injuries. Comforting thought: You CANNOT go lower than minus 14. It's just how the league works.

Yours,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

It's Like Toy Story, But With Strippers

Your Focus Needs More Focus

GG Week 10

GG Week 10; Get Down.

Florida State (#17) @ Clemson (#3). Trip to Death Valley for the Semenholes.

TCU (#3) @ Oklahoma State (#12). Cowboys take McLovin' for some lovin' on Brokeback Mountain?

LSU (#4) @ Alabama (#7), SEC devours itself in a pivotal Heismaniac tilt.

1 for the win, 5 for the sweep.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

GG week 9 Results

GG week 9:

Q: 3. Picked ND and the upset NC. 19 on the season.
Dpo: 3. Boring ass ND pick and NC. 20.
CCS: Mega-Fag ND nod, NC. 26, still the LEADER.

Sock Jackwagon: ND (duh) and Oregon. 3. 21.
BroScrotum: ND (????) and NC. 3. 25. Second place. Hind tit.
KBee. No entry. Blog problems. I blame myself. 6.

Teeba: ND and Oregon. 3. 11.
SeaPuke: ND and NC. 18. Douche.
McLuvin': Got NC. Otherwise, stugatz, Total Loser. 2. 17.

Randilingus: Naught into naught equals naught. Big fat fucking zero. 14.
Jimbosuke: Scores the NC game. That's all she wrote. 16. Less than distinguished performance.
Snottie: ND and Oregon. Picks up 3. 20. Your shit stinks.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.