Search This Blog

Saturday, January 17, 2015

GG 2014: The Final Tally


(This Vine is of King Cardale Jones throwing one out of bounds...right into the hands of JT Barrett on the TOSU sideline with his leg on his scooter.)

GG Bowls. The Final Chapter yielded one Sweep: That's BroFro, by God. His last minute vote change (away from the Ducks, over to the Bucks) gave him a one underdog sweep worth 6 and vaulted him into what turned out to be a 4 way tie for second place. BroFro finishes with 94.

SockPuppet and Snottie finished with 94 each. They had a rough Final Chapter but picked up 2 points with the Ohio State win.

DPo had a sweep going but he went with the Ducks in the nat'l championship game and, well, we know how that worked out. Finishes with 94 harbaughs.

'BoSuke also had a rough Final Chapter. Had the Men of the Scarlet and Gray in the championship game. Got 2 points and finished alone  in 3rd with 88.

McLovin': 87 (Go Bucks, Bro').

Q$ and CCS end with 81 each.

Randawg finishes up with 72.

Clem with 62.

Teebs with 10.

And the winner is SeannieGraham with 95. Whiffed in the Final Chapter on every game but Toledo but that 1 point was enough to put him over the top. Finished with 95. Congrats to SeaBiscuit.

Of course, like a douche, I didn't collect the 20 bucks that makes GG chug along like a well oiled machine and pays off the winners. But, theoretically, if I got $20 from every participant (we had 12/13) then the pot is 240. Minus the 20 dollar entry fee that the third place winner ('BoSuke) gets to keep leaves us with 220. 80% of that goes to the winner: $176 clams for SeaNNNNie. 20% goes to number 2, but split 4 ways this year: $11 each for Snottie, Sockn'Balls, DPo and BroFro.

Suspicion will now fall on the Commissioner for coming away with more dough for third place than his Brahs got for second. Honestly, I didn't plan it this way. I'm not that clever.

Here is what D. Po thinks of your final tally:



10 comments:

  1. Dumbassuke was not the third place winner. Commish was 6th. Why? Because Sean, Scott, Chuck, Drew and Paul finished ahead of him. Count 'em. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, then Jimwit. Nice try, ass munch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. By your logic, 2nd place gets 20%. If the pot is $200, I get $40, Scott gets $40, Chuck gets $40, Paul gets $40 and addle-minded Commish gets his $20 back. That's leaving $100 for Sean. You planning on taking Seannie's cheese? God have mercy on your soul.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds good, DPo. But I'm for adding the "third place" 20 to the total swag. Give SeaBiscuit 80% of 220 and split the remainder 4 ways and we'll call it good.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 4-way tie?? Pussy move. Come up with a tie breaker, maybe whoever was leading at the end of the regular season?
    Your welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "You're" welcome, ShortBus.
    One does not come up with a tie breaker scheme after the tie occurs. That's in the General Instructions for Commissioners Handbook. You and your friends, both of them, can suggest ways to break a tie in GG going forward. Possibly by making a brief presentation at the payout. But until then you should return to binge watching your DVR'd episodes of the Bachelor and Antiques Roadshow.
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. On Antiques Roadshow I like it when some old person or fat women has an item that is worth more than they thought.... So awesome, and entertaining too.

    Love you guys

    ReplyDelete
  7. "This?! This fucking thing right here? It's worth about ten bucks. You're Aunt Gretchen was an idiot and she played you for an even bigger idiot. Now get the fuck off the set."

    I like that kind of shit.

    ReplyDelete