Bowls, Chapter 1 Results

 Dawn of the Bowls.

Kennesaw State gets molested by Western Meechy, 41 - 6. That's the way the Myrtle Beach Bowl goes sometimes. A total blow-out.

Not sure about this match-up. Kennesaw State (I had to look it up) is in Georgia. But, let's face it, K State can't outbid UGA and Geo Tech. Money talks. Whatever. 

Incredibly, two BRFLers picked Kennesaw State to win this one. And why not? Does anybody know anything about either of these teams, other than, head-to-head, Kennesaw State is no match for the Broncos? Why would anybody know about these teams? Moving on.

When NC State scored 21 points in the first half before Memphis got on the board, you knew this one had the makings of a snoozer. Memphis finally scored and never scored again. They turned it over twice. Nobody scored at all in the second half. Snoozer? Well ... yeah. NC State 31, Memphis 7. The death knell has sounded for Broney's Tigers.

Two knucklehead GGers had Memphis.

And then the CFP began. 

Oklahoma came blasting out of the chute to a 17 - 0 lead and the fans in Norman were buyin' up tickets to the Rose Bowl. John Mateer could do no wrong. Many is the Okie who started another 'DeBoer to Michigan' rumor. 

Then the Sooners imploded. What the fuck happened on the punt? We may never understand what that was about. Man-God Mateer delivered his usual signature disaster play by lasering a pick-six directly to a lonely Tide DB's gloved hands. Nice tackle by the way, John. After a 17 point second stanza, Alabama outscored the Sooners 17 - 7 in the second half. 

Fun Facts: Oklahoma passed for  more yards. They ran for almost twice as many yards (though both teams sucked at running the football). Oklahoma was playing at home. But Oklahoma has Brent Venables as an HC and Alabama has Kalen DeBoer. One of those guys is psychotic and one coaches Alabama. 

In the end, Alabama 34, Oklahoma 24.

Q: SWEEP! 5 to step up to 34. This was big, Q.

Chiba Chews: SWEEP! 5 to get 33, Cheebs. 

DogTheBountyHunter: 1. Tripped up by the Sooners and the Tigers. You have 27. Not great.

Lola: GUTTERBALL. 0 on the week. Stay at 26. Just, not good.

Ronde': 2 to reach 33. Solid action.

DPo: 1. Really? Total 30.

SockPuppet: SWEEP! 5 to go to 35. Colossal BRFL implications.

KBronieBoy:2 to go to 44. Bronie sharing the lead. 

$$uke the Mindless: SWEEP! 5 to crawl to 32. Big deal.

Psycho: SWEEP! 5 to get to 44. Tied for the lead.

Teeblations: SWEEP! Freakish. Only yesterday, you sucked at this. Total 39.

McLovin: SWEEP! This fucking guy. 5 to go to 33. He got 3 BRFL points for this win.

Big Dom: 2 to lurch to 42. Knocked off the lead with an untimely Sooner pick.

BreauxFreaux: SWEEP! 5 to reach 44 and a share of the lead. I warned you about this asshole. 

"Just doin' my job, Brent."

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life.