Damn it. SkHank on a roll here in the early going. Virginia Tech mauls East Carolina 64-17. When's the last time you saw VT hang 64 on somebody? 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, moves up 3 to #13 and it's suddenly a 5 point weekend and the Skunk breaks into double figures with 14 total.
Randy. Utah blows out San Jose State 54-16 and it's DIDDLE! DIDDLE! DIDDLE! for the Randmiester. 1 for the win, breaks in at #23 that's 2 more, 5 for the Diddle and God DAMN it that's an 8 point weekend and he takes the second position with a total of 10 by week 3.
Teeba. Meechy gets by a scrappy Air Force Academy squad 29-13. The AP is not impressed (why not? Doesn't matter) and they dock the Evil Wolverine Conspiracy a point, so the weekend is a wash and Timmy! stays at 8. Liberace Love Song, all alone in the third spot.
SeaGrope. PSU put the P in 'payday game' and they shit all over Georgia State, shutting them out 56-0. Penn State moves up to #4 in the AP. 1 for the win, 1 for the move up, 1 for the no drop. Total after 3 weeks is 7.
SockPuppet. Florida still smarting from the Irma Extreme Makeover so Miami doesn't play FSU as planned. "No problem at all", says the deeply flawed AP, "We'll move you up THREE even though you didn't even fucking suit up." Suddenly Miami is the #14 team in the country. Sympathy vote bullshit by the AP. 0 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 3 for the move up. SockPuppet with 7.
ClemboSlice: Washington U beats the pants off Fresno State, 48-16. "It is not enough, Dog!", says the Almighty AP. Dropped one in the poll to #7. The weekend is a wash for Wash U. Stay at 6.
Snottie: Wisconsin Badgers blast BYU 40-6. Somehow the fucking AP doesn't have a problem with this and Wisco moves up the #9, which translates into a 3 point weekend for Snott and a 5 point total after three weeks.
BroFro; Boise State Broncos 28-14 over the University of New Mexico. Key DLineman David Moa arrested for disturbing the peace that night. Naughty Mormon shenanigans of interest to no one but BroPube. 1 for the win. 2 total.
Kitten: USouth Florida dumps perennial punching bag Illinois 47-23. Moves up one in the AP to #21. 3 point weekend. Kitty was at minus 1. Breaks into the light of positive territory again with 2 on the season.
DPo: The Domers follow their Wimbush to a 49-20 Bitch-slapping of Boston College. 1 for the win. Nobody too excited about Notre Dame. 2 on the season.
McCheese: Alabama consumes ritual sacrifice unranked Colorado State, 41-23. Wait. 41-23? 2 touchdowns and a field goal? Pussy ass AP leaves the Crimson Turds at #1. McLovin finally pays his debt to society and, after a 2 point weekend, he's finally in positive territory with 1.
Bridshit: The Troymen look less than invincible as they pull a victory out of their asses in double OT. USC over unranked and rebuilding Texas 27-24 at home in LA. AP punishes and it's no net points for you long time. KillerBee with 1.
KBron: And speaking of pulling one out of your ass the Gators write another chapter in the on-going tragedy of Tennessee football with a last-second perfect play to the end zone. 26-20 Florida, the final. For BronieBro. What could have been a REAM turns into a 6 point bonanza. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop and 4 for the move up to #20. Recovers all the way to minus 1.
And then there is the Darkness.
Q; Kansas State on the road in SEC territory at Vanderbilt. Vandy oddly strong this year and they down the Wildcats 14-7. Hello, old friend. It's REAM time. A sickening plunge from #18 in the AP to unranked and wandering in the Desert of Shame. Minus 7 on the drop, 5 for the ream, minus 12 on the weekend. Minus 6 is your score, three weeks in.
Jimbosuke: Ohio State 38-7 over Army in Columbus. The AP wanted to see more of a beat down, I guess. Gives us the Meechy/Service Academy Bone Job but, since it's Ohio State, the fuckers drop us 2 for the win, down to numbah 10. Commissioner headed further down into the flames, minus 9 at the three week mark.
CCS: Someone has to be last. Stanford on the road vs San Diego State and they can't get by the Aztecs. You lose, Chipenhausen, 20-17 and are severely bent over by the AP. Crash dive out of the poll from #19. That's minus 6 on the drop, negative 5 more on the REAM and you were already at minus three. Somebody better do something fast for the Cardinal because you are taking on water to the tune of minus 14.
And we're only three weeks into this.
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
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