BRFL Season 12, Week One Results: DPo Rising.

Greetings, Earthlings.

Week One is in the books, Fuckers.

DPo with the Week One Diddle. Looks like Clem was a year early on Notre Dame. ND 49, Temple   16 as the Domers put the Ow in Owl. 1 for the W. Lands at #24 in the AP, that's 1 more. 5 for the Diddle, Diddle, Diddle! 7 point weekend right out of the gate.

Holy shit it's that scumbag SkHank again. Virginia Tech 31 over WVU 24 in a hell of a game. 5 points. And he's got a butt-duddy. Lawd Amighty, it's TIMMY! with a bitch-slapping of them Gator boys down south. Meechy 33, Florida 17. That's 5 for Teeblations.

Two way clusterfuck at the third spot ( always be thinking Liberace ). SockPuppet with a Bethune-Cookman beatdown. Miami 41, BCMan 13. AP is excited about it. Why? Doesn't matter. SockSuckIt has 4.
Megadouche SeaBag  moves up too with a  good old fashioned State College shower-raping of lowly Akron. PennState 52, Akron Zips 0. Seannie with 4.

A total love affair* at the fourth spot. The intrepid basement dweller ClemboSlice gets off to (for him) a fast start. Wash U 30, Rutgers 14. This is supposed to be a rebuilding year for Rutgers which would translate into suck on suck. Still, Clembosuke at 3.
Q goes all in on the Kansas connection. KState 55, Central Arkansas 19. Are you shitting me? The AP moves you up for that? 3 points for you, long time.

CCS and Snottie bromancing at the fifth spot. Snottie's Badgers lay a whuppin' on Utah State 59-10. The Chipmeister's Cardinal carries over from last week. Both of these twats have 2.

Randingus and BroFro, man-on-man love union at the #6 spot. Boring Boise State sneaks by Troy 24 to 13. So fucking unranked, Bro. And the Utah Utes outlast North Dakota 37-16. It's an unranked thing, I guess. Both of these deviants have 1.

What's worse than 1? Zero. USF Bulls pull out a win over the Stony Brook Baby Seals 31-17 and the AP strikes. Drops the Bulls from 21 to 19. 1 for the win, drop 2 in the AP, that's minus 1 for the Kitten on the weekend, zero total. (Remember, the Kitty had an early game so started this week at 1 but did not receive a no drop point since there was no new AP Poll. He won, that's 2. AP drops him 2, leaves him Zero.)

How about minus 2? Yup. I got that covered. Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life, Blessings and Glad Tidings To Him, develops a gastric ulcer in the first half but watches the Men of the Scarlet and Gray pull away in the third period dumping upstart Indiana 49-21. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, I started at minus 4. Is Indiana good or is TOSU bad? We'll find out this weekend, Dicks.

McLovin dolefully pounding his balogna as Alabama lets the air out of the Florida State balloon, 24-7 and puts the FSU season on life support by crippling Deondre' Francois. Still, with all that mayhem, beating the #3 team in the country, McDingleHole still lands at minus 3. is it fair? Hell yeah!
But wait. There's more. Even McLovin has a friend. Bridshit, aka Killer Bee, gets scared shitless as apparently Sam Darnold-world includes having a bitch of a time dispatching Western Meechy AT HOME, 49-31. The AP is not kind. You drop 2, get a point for the win but you started at minus 2. Now you are minus 3.

Lets talk about pain. I was there. I saw a man hurting. KBronieManWoman gets two (2!) pick sixes off Wilton Speight and his half assed coach still finds a way to lose to the Evil Wolverine Conspiracy. KMan is at the bottom, minus 5 as the AP takes out the hammer and drops him 5.

And that's how week one went.

* who knows the uniquely Cooperstonian origins of that phrase. "total love affair"? Take your best shot at who the author of that nonsense was. Hint: He's dead.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life.